This is why you don't go to bars/clubs alone

[horaholic]

Even if the guy seems weird cuz hes by himself, if he strikes up a conversation with any of them, they will immediately change their mind about him. He only seems wierd cuz he doesnt talk to people. Im guilty of the same thing. I go out alone, to places where I know my buddies will end up at sooner or later. Last night, however, I couldnt find anyone I knew, and I went to three bars. One of them, I sat by myself and talked to the bartender, but noone else, (and it may or my not have looked weird to people, but who cares?) the next bar I hung out woiith the bartender, and talked to several people I didnt know. SO I KNOW i didnt come off wierd there. And the third place, there was literally noone there, except the bartender and bouncer, so I had one beer and talked to them, and went home.

The point is, you can go out alone, as long as you hang out with people there. I've met plenty of lone wolves in the bar, and ended up having a good time with them all night. You HAVE to go talk to people. I need to follow my own advice. I have a problem with looking pissed off all the time, so people who dont know think Im an *******, but after a ten minute conversation, I open up, and they change their minds really quick. I cant help, I really try to not come off like that. I have a dual personality. Im either quiet, and pissed off looking, or Im opened up, and very social and fun. People tell me this all the time. If I dont know people, Im very closed off naturally, and it really hurts my game in a way. On the other hand, sometimes I'll talk to a chick who always thought I was an ass hole, and she'll be attracted to me, because I finally opened up to her, and we'll hook up.

 

[Smack]

This bartender was trying to score points with the girls at this guy's expense as well as shut his game down. That's uncool and kind of cruel. At least the dude is trying. On the other hand, if the guy is harrassing the women and creeping them out, then that's a different story.

I go out alone nearly all the time out of necessity. Most guys my age are married, engaged, or have a girlfriend.

Plus, I've gotten used to not having a wingman and don't really want one anymore for the following reasons:

1. It's way too easy to talk to your wingman all night and not approach. I think we've all had that experience.

2. It's especially bad if your wing is REALLY picky with girls. You keep waiting for PERFECT 10s who never arrive and don't end up approaching anyone. At least if you are alone, you can approach any girl you are attracted to (even if she's fat lol) and you can't be judged.

2. Sometimes you are having a good night and your buddy is having a cr&ppy night or vice versa. Should you leave the club or stay?

3. Your wing likes and/or does well at a given club, but you hate that place and prefer another. Which one do you go to?

4. You feel like you're tag-teaming every set and ganging up on the girls by approaching with your wing.

5. Even if you meet a two-set, what are the odds of you hitting it off with girl 1 AND your wing hitting it off with girl 2 simultaneously? Very slim.

6. Competition. It's like Murphy's Law that the girl you are most interested in somehow is attracted to your wing, not you.

7. If your wing doesn't watch his mouth, he can get both of you dragged into a fight.

Of course, there are two sides to everything. There are downsides to going out solo like some posters have mentioned:

1. It is unbelievably hard if you are socially awkward and girls will judge you harsly for being alone unless you are very socially savy or have a REALLY GOOD excuse for being out alone such as you are waiting for a friend, you are in the city on business, etc.

2. You need to stick to classier, safer places since you have no wing to back you up if some guy gets hostile.

3. It can be very hard to extract a girl from any set. The girls don't want their friend to leave with a strange guy because they are concerned about her safety. This means your best targets are lone wolfs. However, most lone wolfs at bars and clubs are old cougars. Young hotties don't have the confidence to go out alone. The rare exception might be a business traveler woman at a hotel bar who is there alone because she's in town on business and felt more comfortable going to her hotel lounge than a local bar.

An excellent post.

Just to add to the downsides of going out, though:

4) A lot of places won't let you in if you're yourself. (In fact, a lot of places won't even let you in unless you have girls with you; they want to avoid a sausage fest.)

 

[styleman]

Who the f cares what the bartender thinks, and the girls who take the bartender seriously are losers too.
Respect to the man and men who get up and go where they want to, not overanalyse and sit at home.

 

[villshah]

When this guy is a playa and has all the women he wants then the bartender's going to be looking at him saying "i wish i was that guy. i wonder how he did it?"

 

[nismo-4]

ive been to clubs by myself and gotten more action than with friends...your bartender friend is sipping too much haterade...plain and simple

I think that's cherry flavored haterade.

 

[Prodigy746]

When i read this first thing i thought about is a guy like el stud going to a bar and trying to pick up women. Some guys can pull it off and some guys cant. I personally have not tried it yet and not sure if i want to try it. I hate bars even when i go w my friends as i am not much of a drinker. Furthermore the few times that i have gone to a bar the girls there were not the kind of girls i want to be in LTR with or even have ONS with. As far as clubs go i only went once w my friend and we had a blast. I look forward to going again and i think i wouldnt mind going by my self...

 

[lurker]

i dont go to clubs or bars i sit my ass at home. clubbing is for losers. slimballs, and horny ****s. what's fun about clubbing? same music drinks. and harlots.

 

[Unbridled_Phoenix]

If you know how to inspire intrigue and cultivate mystery, then try going out by yourself more often. It's how I go like 90% of the time. Two guys approaching "sets" (I hate your nerdy lingo) has been done and done and done. I don't need a crutch.

 

[Nutz]

Would have been funny as hell if that creepy weirdo ended up having 5 HB 10s meet him there 2 minutes after he'd said that. In fact, just do that. Cold approach like crazy the afternoon prior and have a bunch of HBs meet up with you that night. Best way to go IMO. Even if you get a 10% conversion that's pretty good. The more you do this the better your conversion rate teh more HBs you'll be bringing to the bars to meet you. That's powerful stuff, although it takes a lot of effort to make a reality. Most guys in the community just don't put in the effort required to get good.

 

[Jaux]

There's not anything wrong with going out alone BUT you have to do it the right way.

I did some tests on this one. My wingman was late like 30 min so I entered a bar alone. I took a beer and sat down at an empty table in the middle of everything. I studied my surroundings meanwhile sitting there sippin on my beer and looking like a loser.

5 min - People start giving me looks.
10 min - I see a girl at a table far away pointing at me and her friends laughing (normally I'd approach in this situation but remember I was experimenting.)
15 min - I get more and more looks.
20 min - I can even hear some girls talking about me.
30 min - My wingman enter, opens a set on the other side of the room and finds out they've talked about me too.

There's nothing cool with being alone, if you don't know how to do it. The point is, as a DJ you're NEVER alone even if you go there alone. You're always surrounded by girls right?

Social proof EXISTS, and being alone to much DESTROYS your value.

 

[horaholic]

There's not anything wrong with going out alone BUT you have to do it the right way.

I did some tests on this one. My wingman was late like 30 min so I entered a bar alone. I took a beer and sat down at an empty table in the middle of everything. I studied my surroundings meanwhile sitting there sippin on my beer and looking like a loser.

5 min - People start giving me looks.
10 min - I see a girl at a table far away pointing at me and her friends laughing (normally I'd approach in this situation but remember I was experimenting.)
15 min - I get more and more looks.
20 min - I can even hear some girls talking about me.
30 min - My wingman enter, opens a set on the other side of the room and finds out they've talked about me too.

There's nothing cool with being alone, if you don't know how to do it. The point is, as a DJ you're NEVER alone even if you go there alone. You're always surrounded by girls right?

Social proof EXISTS, and being alone to much DESTROYS your value.

So do you think if your wing never showed up, and you opened the girls after they thought you were creepy, they wouldnt respond? I'll bet you they would. They might be a little defensive at first, but I'll bet as long as you have a personality, their perception of you will change very quickly, and so would everyone elses. Im living proof of this concept. It is a prejudice on their part, and prejudice crumbles when you actually talk to the person, and their not really a weirdo. For example, If I see a cowboy, or a gangsta, or a emo, or anyone different, I prejudge them, but if I actually have a conversation with them, I can very well end up buddies with them (except gangstas. I hat them no matter what). This is wrong, of me, I know, but its a fact. My point is, peoples judgement of you will change when you open up and talk to them. Even if they thought you were creepy for two hours, doesnt mean they wont talk to you.

 

[HardTimes]

5 min - People start giving me looks.
10 min - I see a girl at a table far away pointing at me and her friends laughing (normally I'd approach in this situation but remember I was experimenting.)
15 min - I get more and more looks.
20 min - I can even hear some girls talking about me.
30 min - My wingman enter, opens a set on the other side of the room and finds out they've talked about me too.

Hahahah that's the funniest thing I've read all day :haha: Very nice experiment I wouldn't have the balls to try something like that. I'd either approach or be out the door after 5 mins.

 

[pua1989]

to be honest, although i normally dont go alone, i ALWAYS END UP alone. i get lost on the dance floor, yuck it up with bartenders and generally have an all around good time. shít, why dont I go alone? all of my hookups in clubs and stuff are when its just me solo. after reading this thread, its making me want to go to la bamba de tiempo alone because my roommates are too tired. just have a couple drinks, get social, hit the dance floor and youll have a great time.

i am all for goin alone

to be honest, thats the difference between a NATURAL and a PUA....uhhh obviously youre gonna look weird if you go around from group to group of girls trying to hit on them blatantly. sure, that takes balls, but you are making it a chore. girls are attracted to high energy GUYS HAVING FUN

 

[#41]

any DJ worth his time spent studying should be able to strike up a conversation with AT LEAST a fellow dude. and that's if it's by far teh worst night ever.

Oh Christ, then you're THAT guy.

Nothing annoys me more than a guy trying to make conversation with me at the bar / club. I don't go out to spend my time talking with other men -- if I want to talk with men, I'll go to a sports bar with my friends and shoot it while eating some wings and watching a fight or the game.

 

[pua1989]

Oh Christ, then you're THAT guy.

Nothing annoys me more than a guy trying to make conversation with me at the bar / club. I don't go out to spend my time talking with other men -- if I want to talk with men, I'll go to a sports bar with my friends and shoot it while eating some wings and watching a fight or the game.

agreed, i dont ever talk to the other guys im either dancing, drinking, or macking

 

[daygameguy]

Depends on the guy really. Totally depends on his inner game.

One night I can go alone and be the man. Other nights it just seems overwhelming - the fact that everyone else is chatting in their own little social group, and I am the one "opening" people. Wtf... they don't even know me!

It depends on the state you are in, externally and internally. If you look and feel like a alpha dominant guy, nobody will notice anything weird about you. If look and feel weak, nobody will open up.

It is VERY wierd and VERY abnormal to pimp yourself up, walk into a club, without any friends, and LOOK around. It FEELS and LOOKS wierd!

Which is why I would recommend having people with you, your "normal" group, and then branch off to meet new people. It is the natural thing to do.

One tip for people who wanna go in solo - Enter the club early. Fewer sets, less confusion, people will open up easily because there is nothing else to do, and THEN everyone that enters will feel like you already know people in there.

 

[BongDuy]

i know someone who is similiar to the OP's post. except this is highschool, and really, nobody likes him. he is annoying, disrespectful, and im sure he is borderline retarded. however, with that said, im sure he is damn well confident at approaching others, and especially women because he talks to everyone, and introduces himself all the time. i wouldn't be surprised if he was from this site xD

 

[Aragon034]

agreed, i dont ever talk to the other guys im either dancing, drinking, or macking

You guys get my point then! It's not hard to open a set, so unless you're quite literally having the worst night of your life, i see no issue with going out alone!

Dancing, drinking, and Macking are waaaay more fun than talking to some "Doood"

 

[Mike32ct]

Oh Christ, then you're THAT guy.

Nothing annoys me more than a guy trying to make conversation with me at the bar / club. I don't go out to spend my time talking with other men -- if I want to talk with men, I'll go to a sports bar with my friends and shoot it while eating some wings and watching a fight or the game.

Agreed. I chatted with a dude at a club once and won't do it again when I'm at a bar or club. See below.

Mike: hey how r u doing

Dude: good just got back from Canada

Mike: awesome what part

Dude: Montreal

Mike: cool I heard they have hot strip clubs

Dude: yes I got three lap dances

Mike: was the dancer hot, like a 10

Dude: yeah a total 10. He was the hottest guy in the club.

Mike: (ready to vomit). I'm going to go to the bathroom right now LOL.


Moral of the story: pick up girls only and avoid talking to dudes.

 

[FunnyMan]

To the people who endorse going out alone, you guys never say why go out alone? Because you have no friends?

The people who like going out alone also like going out with their friends, but, there might be a night when you want to go out and your friends can't or don't want to. Then, YOU have the choice, YOU have the power to decide whether you want to go find a good time or not. You wont base your choice on other people. YOUR choice.