Thinking You’re The Prize is BS

[Sting]

A great many posts on this site have advised that men should think they’re the prize to be won in order to be successful with women. For the most part, such advice is garbage, and is not worth the time either to read nor repeat every few months.

The mindset of thinking you’re the prize will get you nowhere because deep down you know that you’re not. Your knowledge of the truth about “who you really are” is what is holding you back, not your unwitting placement of women on a pedestal. Until you change yourself into the prize, no amount of inspirational reading or thinking will help you.

If you’re out of shape or you dress like a clown, your physical appearance is what is holding you back – not your attitude about women. You should hit the gym, change your diet, get a haircut, go shopping for new clothes -- and forget about women for a while.

If you have no sense of humor or don’t have an outgoing personality, your ability to interact with other people is what is holding you back – not your attitude about women. You should study comedians and movies with actors whose personalities you admire, and model their behavior – and forget about women for a while.

If people treat your with disrespect in high school or college, it is your reputation that is holding you back – not your attitude about women. You should isolate yourself from the people who are making fun of you, take to heart some of the things they’re saying, and change them if you can – and forget about women for a while.

If you can’t carry on a decent conversation with anyone, it is your education and lack of “worldly-ness” that is holding you back – not your attitude about women. Go to the library, spend some time reading the dozens of news, financial, fashion, sports and other magazines, and learn something interesting – and forget about women for a while.

It takes true courage to own up to who you are right now and change what you can, rather than live in a fantasy world where you think you’re the prize – but deep down you know you’re not.

 

[Lost]

blah

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[g f l a s h 4 0 0 1]

Wrong. Deep down I know that I am the Great Catch. And its not a fantasy world because I really am. By merely thinking that I am desirable to women i become so.

Of course if you really believe that you are the Great Catch, you will work out, improve your personality, etc. because you know that you are Great and you will treat yourself as such.

Often, you will find guys who look good, have great personalities, dress well, and in short have everything going in their favor. I have a friend who is one of these people. He's one of the funniest people I know, and yet he still can't get a girl because he's amazingly desperate. In order to get girls you must kill your desperation by believing you are the Great Catch.

But Pook says this all much better than I could. Go re-read it, and enjoy the truth it contains.
http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=16926

g f l a s h

 

[Nocturnal]

A great many posts on this site have advised that men should think they’re the prize to be won in order to be successful with women. For the most part, such advice is garbage, and is not worth the time either to read nor repeat every few months.

He is absolutely correct.

You should not think or tell yourself that you are the prize. You should BE the prize.

Simply changing your attitude about yourself will not work. You will still know that in reality, "hey that guy gets more chicks than me" or "I need to get contacts instead of glasses if I want to be more attractive."

There is a difference between acting and being. Acting is a false reality, being is a true one.

Great post.

 

[TheBest]

Originally posted by MaDsKaTeR212
He is absolutely correct.

You should not think or tell yourself that you are the prize. You should BE the prize.

How can you BE the prize without THINKING that you are the prize?

 

[Nocturnal]

to answer your question literally, does one have to know they have a bald spot in the back of their head to actually have one?

and if you look at most of the posts he's talking about, they say something like "tell yourself you are the man, then go out there and work your magic!"

these are simply motivators, they don't change reality. how does thinking you are attractive make you that way?

 

[Sting]

There is an enormous difference between *thinking* you're the prize, and *knowing* you're the prize. The first is fantasy, the second is reality. Thinking you're the prize is not a self-fullfilling prophecy. You will eventually become aware that you're the prize by your efforts, not by your thoughts alone.

On a personal note, and in response to gflas4001, I don't claim to write as eloquently (or as long) as Pook or some of the others that came before me on this site. I have neither the time nor the patience to write such prodigious contributions. I simply write what I know from experience, which as we all know, is the best teacher. Nevertheless, if you wish to have a "Pook-citing" contest, please note one of his contributions that was recently bumped, where he states something similar:

The high standards you apply to your desires must be applied to yourself.

Do you want a woman who is not overweight? Then you must eliminate your overweight. Do you want a woman who is intellectually brilliant? Then you must hit the books, read the classics, think, and expand your mind. Do you want a woman who is athletic? Then you too must become athletic.

Try, if you want, to get a woman who is better then you in these traits. You may or may not succeed. But only demand that which you can reflect as well. This forces you on the path of self-improvement.

http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=15803

As for the friend cited in your example, his attitude problem does not flow from deficiencies in his appearance, personality or education. Rather, it flows from his sense of self-worth. In a nutshell, he still believes he is unworthy of the attentions of beautiful women. Your friend probably did not have to struggle to improve deficiencies in his appearance, personality or education. Men who exhibit strengths that "come naturally" or are the result of strong genetics (e.g., good looks, great physique, etc...) are often "beaten" by men who work hard to improve some or all of the foregoing characteristics of themselves. If this is not the case, then your friend's attitude is the last thing he needs to change about himself at the end of a long road of hard work and determination. It is to those people that the phrase "as a man thinketh, so shall he become" applies, and to none other.

Lost -- try to learn how to spell and to write constructive criticisms if have any to offer. Otherwise, bugger off.

 

[TheBest]

When you think you are the Prize then you start to believe it. And when you believe it, then you start acting as such by improving yourself and by killing your desperation vibes. Isn't this true?

Of course i'm not talking about those who sit in front of their computers the whole fvcking day and say to themselves "Oh, i should think that i'm the prize" because that's BS.

Thinking that you're the prize is different from thinking that you should think you're the prize. I hope you understand what i want to say here.

 

[Sting]

TheBest,

You cannot *think* you are the prize when all outward appearances (as well as your own inner sense of self), clearly demonstrate that you are not. It is better to think "I can become the prize if I work on my [appearance, personality and/or education]." In doing so, you accept the reality of where you are, and can see with perfect clarity where you want to be.

Change does not happen with thought, but with action.

 

[karmavsDogma]

It's the classic "chicken or egg" debate! The whole "think you're the catch" argument is a great motivator, but it won't make you successful all by itself. You have to become the catch, which means getting off your a$$ and making it happen. In order to get motivated, you have to visualize (i.e. think of) yourself as the great catch. It's rare (and difficult) to have one without the other. If you stop thinking you're the great catch, you lose motivation. In which case, you don't become the great catch, and you're back to square one. If you think you're the great catch, but don't actually DO the stuff it takes to become the great catch, you get nowhere (with an unnecessarily large ego in tow), and end up back at square one.

By the way, the chicken came first (unless the primordial soup coughed up an egg).

 

[TheBest]

Originally posted by Sting
Change does not happen with thought, but with action.

You're probably right on this one Sting. I need to give it more thoughts

 

[Nocturnal]

Originally posted by karmavsDogma
By the way, the chicken came first (unless the primordial soup coughed up an egg).

Ah, but here's the part most people don't think of:

Dinosaurs and other reptiles layed eggs long before chickens existed.

 

[studmuffin15]

it all goes back to the whole practice of waking up every morning, looking in the mirror, and repeating, "yes, i can do this". the momentum and inner desire needs to begin somewhere, and many times we need to *fake* it, before we actually become it. i can attest to this myself, because in my transition from afc to dj, i *did fake* confidence a great deal, until it became natural. becoming "the catch" is a bit different bcuz it requires a physical evolution and refinement, but it still needs to start from within.

many of us are quality human beings to begin with, we just dont have the ability to recognize it, or the confidence to display it in "the catch" form. repeating it to ourselves is only the first step on the journey to self-acceptance and improvement.

 

[DJinArizona]

I agree with this post 100% and want to add that once you start on a course of self-improvement, you'll become absorbed in it and as a result you'll think about women less and spend less time trying to meet them. And we all know that women are automatically attracted to the men who have other things going on in their lives besides trying to get laid. So not only will you actually improve yourself, but at the same time you'll get women without having to try very hard.

As to how to implement this and really believe you ARE the shlt, read anything by Napoleon Hill. Any bookstore has several of his books. Law of Success is the best but it's 1000+ pages. Think and Grow Rich or The Master Key to Riches are good choices.

 

[Vronski]

How about we look at it from another point of view. From eastern-culture point of view.

One of Japanese teachings says: "Accept your reality"

If you're short, you're short and nothing will change that. If you're bold, you won't get as much hair as you had 20 years ago ever with hair transplants. If you dont have a university degree and finished college, you're not gonna get a uni degree in the near future.

But you want a girlfriend RIGHT NOW. Not when you get a hair patch and uni degree.

So you can either give up, or take what you have(ie no uni degree, bald head, short height) and accept that it is who you are. And emphasize your good qualities.

Then you start acting like the catch. You are confident, you know what you want, you embrace your weaknesses and accept them. And they no longer have control over you.

And then you can go out and start picking up chicks and start looking for this girlfriend TODAY. Not sometime in the future.

You have to understand that most of the people will never become a great catch. Or it will take years for them to do that.

To be great catch you have to be:

• Rich(you have to accumulate wealth and money)
• Handsome(you have to hit the gym and eat well)
• Conversation skills with GIRLS (which you also develop by talking to GIRLS,because its one thing to talk with your buddys and another to hold a convo with your date)
• Personality (is something that comes only from inner confidence, ie truly beleiving that you're the catch.)

And the list goes on, and it will take a lot of time to improve yourself just a bit. And you will never be the greatest catch out there. But you want a girlfriend now.

So 'Think you're great catch' = 'Accept your reality'

 

[Darkart]

Even if I'm ugly as a dog, I still have the balls to walk up to supermodels with PhD's. Even if I have three testicles and a chode I still am the sexiest guy in the world. Sit down and watch be bang your sister.

I am the man you fool, if a women turns me down for sex, there are 3.2 billion others in line.

 

[crowes22]

I'll agree with Sting and Pook on this, to a point. Women alreadyknow you are the prize, they are the ones that focus their life on attatchment, attention, marraige, 'conquering' a man.

Sadly many guys don't realize this, and there is only one mentality these guys can addopt, it's that of a woman. Suddenly he is the one that needs a mate to complete his being. He ceases to be a prize at the very point he adopts this mentality. He has become non-independent , and needy. Needy guys need female attatchment, attention, thus they become conquered by a woman, and, she loses respect for him.

I'm not advocating abstainment, we all want female affection. I enjoy it as much as anyone here, but I've seen it too many times when a guy is reduced to a grovelling loser, forsaking himself, friends, family, anything for this. Every time he gets burnt. And she is always the flame. It's getting sucked in by a woman, losing yourself and your focus, and rather putting it on her. I think this is what Pook was saying. At least that is how I see it, no, rather how I know it is, from my experience.

Once she sees this has happened, she'll either continue to conquer you for as long as it facilitates her needs, likely looking or cheating with another guy, or move on.....leaving you blindsided, in your mind.

But to her it's all clear. You'll wonder what happened while she'll wonder how you didn't see it coming. She wants to control, dictate her children, not her man. If you were of the fairer sex, would you want to have kids with some wimp you could control, manipulate, dictate, and have lick your boots?

An addendum: Surely all here know women don't realize this.


I agree with Sting on this, which I think was in his context. Don't let her know you know you are the prize.

That is where problems occur, let her think that she is, yet show her through your conduct, that YOU are.

That is the difference between "thinking" and 'being'. The prize just is, period. Is it thinking or knowing? Yea that's got alot to do with it, we all should be a prize in our mind.

And as the prize just is, I don't think a guy can truly conceptualize that, until it's already occured. 'Occured' in other's mind is GREAT! But confirmed in your own mind, is absolutely unstoppable.

 

[Sting]

Originally posted by crowes22
I agree with Sting on this, which I think was in his context. Don't let her know you know you are the prize.

That is where problems occur, let her think that she is, yet show her through your conduct, that YOU are.

Interesting analysis. Taking it a step further, it would seem that a beatiful woman's ego is tied to her desirability, and thus she must believe on the surface of her psyche that she is the prize to be won. Much deeper in her psyche, however, must be the fundamental belief that *you* are the prize to be won, and that she is lucky to be with you. Thus, while a beautiful woman's psyche would appear to be in conflict, the two levels will not create turmoil provided you maintain the illusion. Only when she does something in conflict with what *you* want should you force her to confront the truth about who is the prize. The resulting conflict will cause her to do what you want in order to restore her illusion.

 

[Master Of The World]

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jerks know that they are the prize and most of them if not all are complete losers in every area of their life except with women.

 

[NiceGuysFinishLast]

I am going to have to say both is Wrong... You could be a computer nerd with taped glasses and a 3" p3nus and think you are the prize... You could also be Brad Pit but have the mindset of a scared freshman who was trapped for the first time in a room of strippers.

You have to first change yourself into the prize, and then ACT IT OUT! There is no other way around it, it doesn't work with just one. In the movie the Matrix, there's a great a great quote by Morpheus to Neo (who was the biggest fawking AFC and the world fawking depended on him, "Don't think, Know it"

"knowing it" so to speak is the fusion of the two statements, being the prize and acting like prize.

So get your ho ass outta your fawking hole and improve yourself, and after that, improve your attitude!