Ok. A couple of universal rules I would like you to consider before or as you continue further. Before I get to that, I just want to say your will is commendable and if you stick with it long enough you will succeed....but possibly at the expense of your personal and financial security and wellbeing...is it worth it? Not figuratively, but literally: All of your expenses to resolve this problem (past, present, and future) compared to the return you expect to get in this investment. Will she pay you back in money? Will she be your wife? What's the possibility she turns around and leaves you for someone else for a clean start? Because you remind her of the problem? Because she has an irrational feeling of indebtedness she feels she can never properly pay you back? Which then leads her back to the problem as a comfort or way to get back at you? Take some time to truly consider the likelihood of these possibilities, not based on hope o, but based on past behaviors, actions, facts and occurrences.
You need to define the tipping point, the point of no return, and then "stick to your guns."
"A strong man cannot help a weaker unless that weaker is willing to be helped, and even then the weak man must become strong of himself; he must, by his own efforts, develop the strength which he admires in another. None but himself can alter his condition"
-As a Man Thinketh , James Allen
Nonetheless, if you do your due dilligence and the "math" adds up, keep this in mind:
"The persistent man never stops to consider whether he is succeeding or not. The only question with him is how to push ahead, to get a little farther along, a little nearer his goal."
-An Iron Will, Orison Swett Marden
Lastly, I donno if her issue is drugs, but I'm using myself as an example. I used to be a pot head. I was also a dealer. I stayed high on my own supply. I got popped and had to piss clean for 90 days or face a Felony and all the shiz that comes with an F. I quit cold turkey. I picked a day, smoked a blunt the night before, flushed/gave/sold the rest, went to sleep, woke up, and didn't smoke again. I didn't quit cold turkey randomly and by pure will power, although will power was an important factor. The true praise has to be given to a 3-step systematic plan.
1. Visualize 1 year, 3 years, 5 years, and 10 years down the destructive path. Visualize ALL OF THE DETAILS TO A T! The legal problems, the financial problems, the health problems, employment problems, social problems, etc. The more detailed the picture, story, and narrative the better. This picture should be demoralizing, repulsive, horrific, etc. but most importantly, ACCURATE! Then, think about this daily, meditate on it daily, multiple times a day, and remember: this is picture is your current future. Anytime you (she) want to do the habit, visualize this picture first. This should help create some detachment and distaste for the habit, some repulsion, and ultimately, indifference coupled with slight repulsion should be the feeling towards this habit in a while.
2. Pre-plan ALL downtime. If you don't have plans, sleep, clean, or exercise. Burn the extra energy and/or ensure you already have plans that prevent you from doing whatever the destructive behavior is.
3. Replace all activities related to the issue. ALSO, STRONGLY CONSIDER replacing friends and acquaintances related to the issue. If its drugs? Delete all dealer numbers and stop hanging with anyone who isn't clean. I replaced blunts with basketball, sleep, outdoor running, hiking, stationary bike, etc. I stopped hanging out with my smoker friends for a while. When I started hanging back with them, I made the plans, met up on my own turf, and led them on my path. When they wanted to stop n smoke, I kept goin and told them to meet me there. They didn't object, it was more for them!
I say all that, to say this: 9 out of ten times, how does this movie end? Would you be willing to bet a dollar to a dime your ending will be different?
