The weirdest cycle in online dating

[MaddXMan]

Back online after 2 years..I know, I know it's not the best but got to get back in the game somehow.

Anyway, this has happened too often lately:

1. Woman initiates contact with me first

2. Goes out of her way to quality herself, saying how she has the same interests and likes this or that on my profile. Even gives me her number unsolicited.

3. After a few messages I say let's meet up for a drink! Or I call/text and she doesn't respond.

4. Long silence

5. She finally responds back "sorry I've met someone and want to see where it goes, good luck to you."

6. Her profile goes down

7. 2 or 3 weeks later she's back online.

It's like, if you were within a few days of closing the deal with some guy then what the **** were you contacting me for?

Must have got pumped and dumped lol.

Online dating: Where people are free to be fickle!

 

[pdx1138]

I've noticed that a lot as well.

The same chicks on multiple/different sites time and time again, going on years.
It proves the unrealistic expectations online dating enables them.

One of them said she was single again after two weeks. I'd never
contacted her before but sent her this:

"that was quick!"

Just for my own personal amusement there was a girl I went on one date with then she went ghost. I still have her last msg in my inbox. It shows no photo when she shut down her account, but every few months it's re-enabled again.

funny $hit!

 

[MaddXMan]

I've noticed that a lot as well.

The same chicks on multiple/different sites time and time again, going on years.

Yeah, that too. It's been a couple years yet I still recognize some profiles from before. I'd like to think that maybe they were like me, were in a relationship for awhile or doing other things, and we just happen to join again at similar times.........but no.....I suspect that online dating has become their lifestyle.

I too went ghost once after a date, because I wasn't interested. The woman sent me the nastiest message after calling me all sorts of names, a number-collector, said I must be gay.......lol.......all cause I blew her off.

Good thing too, because wow, what a psycho. Really dodged a bullet there.

 

[pdx1138]

I meant to say she went ghost, but good of you to dodge a bullet!

One girl I had a good date with but from the first second I saw her, knew there were no sparks so I played the date out anyway.

She emailed me back that she would have gone on a second date with me and seemed a bit miffed I didn't go for it.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

C0ck Carousel Riders

I no longer participate in online dating, but the last girl I dated from POF ghosted me after 3 dates. 2 years later she's still single and has profiles up on POF and OKcupid. I've noticed several women in my area who've been on POF for 2-3 years.

The big problem I see with online dating is women think they can custom order a man because of all the options they have available to them. You'll see average to below average women holding out for men out of their league. They get pump and dumped because they guy knows he can do better and they're back online. Online dating gives women the illusion of choice.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear MadMan,
I first used Internet Dating in 1999.....I still recognise some of the profiles....One in particular at that time had an old photo....I subsequently met her in a Bush Walking Group...Seems she is happily married to an Indian Guy...but gets her jollies from all the silly bvggers who mail her and tell her that twenty years ago she was beautiful....It's an addictive form of self substantiation...bit like Walt Disneys Wicked Witch...."Mirror mirror on the wall,whose the loveliest woman of them all?"

 

[the_stig]

In my area I still recognize a handful of faces from 2006 when I first found POF. Another factor is that I think most are addicted to the attention like a drug, and would pass up a potential suitor before they gave up the validation received on a daily basis via online dating.

Over the years, I've started several long term exclusive relationships with women from online dating and what sticks in my mind is how they absolutely could not wait to get back on that site the very second something with the relationship wasn't quite right. Like they were just waiting for one little excuse to get back online. Forget trying to work on things, talk a problem out, agree to disagree.. nope, just drop you like a rock and throw that new profile up. Other dates have casually told me they keep their profile up, but hidden, when they enter a new relationship, even checking it on occasion or keeping up with the "friends" they've met on there.

I swear the modern relationship is doomed with online dating as one of the prime culprits.

 

[Colossus]

I also think it's an attention addiction for girls.

This study proves it.

Insta-validation is a modern phenomenon and is definitely changing the dating scene. What happens is you get guys of all types approaching women in droves, because there is no real fear of rejection and sending someone a message requires no real skill or game. So you get a bunch of men who aren't willing to improve themselves, and a bunch of women who bring little to the table because of the selfish entitlement they've developed due to being inundated with male attention. Kind of a self-fulfillng loop.