Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
My cousin got married last weekend. I like his girl a lot, and I'm happy for them. They are 21, dated since they were 15, and lived together since they were 18. She is a beautiful blonde and treats him very well.
But the wedding was misery. I don't consider the bride to be trashy at all, but her family epitomizes trash. Her aging bar skank of a mother threw her out when she was still in high school, then went and got herself a big pair of fake boobs. They did look nice, as they were pushed up and overflowing a gaudy yellow prom dress. She made sure that her tramp stamp showed through the back. Obviously, she found her daughter's superior beauty very threatening. The trashy mom also saw to it that an equally trashy friend of hers got hired as the wedding planner.
She wore a sequined gown at an outdoor wedding on a sunny afternoon, which made a large disco-style lighting effect. But she spent most of her time standing in the shade and smoking anyway. The rest of the time, she was screaming at people. The tent she promised wasn't there, and she made everyone sit staring into the blazing 95 degree afternoon sun for about an hour. I thought the old people were going to drop.
At the reception, everyone had to sit and do nothing for an hour and a half while they took pictures and the wedding party got plastered. No seats were marked as reserved, but that was ok because the wedding planner would just yell at whoever was in the wrong seat. In the seating confusion, my other cousins sat at a table that had two purses underneath it that they couldn't see; later she came over and screamed at them for trying to steal the purses. When the food finally came, the wedding planner elbowed herself into line just behind the wedding party, then got her own food and ate before all of the guests, including the groom's mother, who was the one paying her. While serving the wedding cake, she cut it into 2" squares and only gave everyone a single piece. After all the cake was served, 2 1/2 of the 3 cakes were left over. My uncle went back to get another piece and she yelled at him that he was eating too much cake.
My point with this story is to direct it at any guy with a wedding in his future. Take an interest in who gets hired as your wedding planner. I never realized before how bad a wedding could be. It was misery for everyone who wasn't too drunk to care.
But the wedding was misery. I don't consider the bride to be trashy at all, but her family epitomizes trash. Her aging bar skank of a mother threw her out when she was still in high school, then went and got herself a big pair of fake boobs. They did look nice, as they were pushed up and overflowing a gaudy yellow prom dress. She made sure that her tramp stamp showed through the back. Obviously, she found her daughter's superior beauty very threatening. The trashy mom also saw to it that an equally trashy friend of hers got hired as the wedding planner.
She wore a sequined gown at an outdoor wedding on a sunny afternoon, which made a large disco-style lighting effect. But she spent most of her time standing in the shade and smoking anyway. The rest of the time, she was screaming at people. The tent she promised wasn't there, and she made everyone sit staring into the blazing 95 degree afternoon sun for about an hour. I thought the old people were going to drop.
At the reception, everyone had to sit and do nothing for an hour and a half while they took pictures and the wedding party got plastered. No seats were marked as reserved, but that was ok because the wedding planner would just yell at whoever was in the wrong seat. In the seating confusion, my other cousins sat at a table that had two purses underneath it that they couldn't see; later she came over and screamed at them for trying to steal the purses. When the food finally came, the wedding planner elbowed herself into line just behind the wedding party, then got her own food and ate before all of the guests, including the groom's mother, who was the one paying her. While serving the wedding cake, she cut it into 2" squares and only gave everyone a single piece. After all the cake was served, 2 1/2 of the 3 cakes were left over. My uncle went back to get another piece and she yelled at him that he was eating too much cake.
My point with this story is to direct it at any guy with a wedding in his future. Take an interest in who gets hired as your wedding planner. I never realized before how bad a wedding could be. It was misery for everyone who wasn't too drunk to care.
