Craig Reeves
Master Don Juan
Hey guys,
It's actually been a long time since I've actually posted. I used to not think that my knowledge was appreciated here on this forum, but I now know that's not true.
Anyways, I was thinking about something....
The longer that I've been studying this stuff, improving myself, and just going out there and talking with women, the more I've realized the importance of what we call here at this forum, the INNER GAME. Sure the outter game stuff like body language, appearance, voice tone, and communication techniques are necessary, but I truly think that it's the INNER GAME that's just so, so important.
In fact, I know guys who aren't that good looking and have poor communication skills have their success skyrocket after just getting their inner game handled alone.
I personally believe that all of us here have run into a situation where our inner games were tested. I know I have. This may be a time when you saw an attractive girl and something inside of you was fighting against you, trying hard to keep you from approaching the girl. This could be a time where you were going to call a girl up, and she never seemd to pick up the phone no matter how many times you tried to call her, and no matter how much experience you have, the dismayed feeling doesn't seem to go away.
There are many others, but I think you see where I'm coming from with this. The anxiety you feel when these things happen are your beliefs and identity (your self-percieved reality) being challenged with another self-percieved reality: The fact that you may not be as desirable as you want to believe you are.
Outside occurances affect our emotions, this is a fact of life. We are born with minds that react to certain stimuli; it's perfectly common for even a guy who looks as good as Brad Pitt to feel undesirable just because a woman TREATED him as such. What happens to most guys when they feel undesirable enough times? They start to BELIEVE that they are. Once we BELIEVE we are undesirable, our minds will naturally SHUT OUT any proof that we actually ARE.
Is this bad news? Absolutely not. This isn't bad news at all. Even the best DJ's out there can approach a girl, she blows him off, and they can feel undesirable for a minute. However, the striking difference between the DJ and the AFC is that the DJ KNOWS WHAT'S GOING ON! The DJ knows that when he's feeling that anxiety, he knows it's only a FEELING. A temporary FEELING, like a headache, or a stomach ache, etc.
AFC's will take the anxiety and make it a PART of them. DJ's will take the anxiety and make it a part of the SITUATION.
For example...
I'm allergic to peaches, so if I eat a peach and I break out, I don't see it as something WRONG with me, I see it as a part of eating peaches. Peaches will make me break out.
FEELINGS don't have any power over you unless you start believing that you are responsible for them. It's not my fault that I'm allergic to peaches, and it's not YOUR fault that you feel that physical anxiety when a woman turns you down or blows you off, or even in some cases when you are about to approach a woman.
I have dated women of all races and all backgrounds. I have approached, been asked out by, and gotten phone numbers from everything from girls next door to NFL cheerleaders. And through all this, even I sometimes still get nervous, anxious, and even in some cases dismayed in this game of women and dating.
You see, EVERYONE gets turned down. In fact, I shall go onto a ledger and say that every guy gets turned down or blown off by at least HALF the women that they encounter. Just last week, I met this really hot girl somewhere, I got her phone number and everything, but nothing really seemed to go after that. Sure, I felt blown off and undesirable for a minute, but I KNEW THIS WAS JUST A FEELING, AND THAT IT WOULD EVENTUALLY GO AWAY.
AFC's will take those feelings and make them a PART OF THEM. Instead of thinking, "These feelings are just a result of me getting turned down/blown off/approaching a girl, it's perfectly normal. It'll go away soon." They think, "Oh my gosh, I actually feel disappointed that she blew me off, I must be pathetic" which drives them into AFChood even more than just coming to grips with the fact that it's OK to feel some anxiety sometimes. To tell a DJ it's never OK to feel dismay is like telling Muhammad Ali it's not OK to feel bad after losing a boxing match.
So all in all, my fellow DJ's, instead of trying to FIGHT your feelings, just accept them. This is my advice to everyone here in really maximizing your INNER GAME.
Good Luck and God Bless,
-Craig
It's actually been a long time since I've actually posted. I used to not think that my knowledge was appreciated here on this forum, but I now know that's not true.
Anyways, I was thinking about something....The longer that I've been studying this stuff, improving myself, and just going out there and talking with women, the more I've realized the importance of what we call here at this forum, the INNER GAME. Sure the outter game stuff like body language, appearance, voice tone, and communication techniques are necessary, but I truly think that it's the INNER GAME that's just so, so important.
In fact, I know guys who aren't that good looking and have poor communication skills have their success skyrocket after just getting their inner game handled alone.
I personally believe that all of us here have run into a situation where our inner games were tested. I know I have. This may be a time when you saw an attractive girl and something inside of you was fighting against you, trying hard to keep you from approaching the girl. This could be a time where you were going to call a girl up, and she never seemd to pick up the phone no matter how many times you tried to call her, and no matter how much experience you have, the dismayed feeling doesn't seem to go away.
There are many others, but I think you see where I'm coming from with this. The anxiety you feel when these things happen are your beliefs and identity (your self-percieved reality) being challenged with another self-percieved reality: The fact that you may not be as desirable as you want to believe you are.
Outside occurances affect our emotions, this is a fact of life. We are born with minds that react to certain stimuli; it's perfectly common for even a guy who looks as good as Brad Pitt to feel undesirable just because a woman TREATED him as such. What happens to most guys when they feel undesirable enough times? They start to BELIEVE that they are. Once we BELIEVE we are undesirable, our minds will naturally SHUT OUT any proof that we actually ARE.
Is this bad news? Absolutely not. This isn't bad news at all. Even the best DJ's out there can approach a girl, she blows him off, and they can feel undesirable for a minute. However, the striking difference between the DJ and the AFC is that the DJ KNOWS WHAT'S GOING ON! The DJ knows that when he's feeling that anxiety, he knows it's only a FEELING. A temporary FEELING, like a headache, or a stomach ache, etc.
AFC's will take the anxiety and make it a PART of them. DJ's will take the anxiety and make it a part of the SITUATION.
For example...
I'm allergic to peaches, so if I eat a peach and I break out, I don't see it as something WRONG with me, I see it as a part of eating peaches. Peaches will make me break out.
FEELINGS don't have any power over you unless you start believing that you are responsible for them. It's not my fault that I'm allergic to peaches, and it's not YOUR fault that you feel that physical anxiety when a woman turns you down or blows you off, or even in some cases when you are about to approach a woman.
I have dated women of all races and all backgrounds. I have approached, been asked out by, and gotten phone numbers from everything from girls next door to NFL cheerleaders. And through all this, even I sometimes still get nervous, anxious, and even in some cases dismayed in this game of women and dating.
You see, EVERYONE gets turned down. In fact, I shall go onto a ledger and say that every guy gets turned down or blown off by at least HALF the women that they encounter. Just last week, I met this really hot girl somewhere, I got her phone number and everything, but nothing really seemed to go after that. Sure, I felt blown off and undesirable for a minute, but I KNEW THIS WAS JUST A FEELING, AND THAT IT WOULD EVENTUALLY GO AWAY.
AFC's will take those feelings and make them a PART OF THEM. Instead of thinking, "These feelings are just a result of me getting turned down/blown off/approaching a girl, it's perfectly normal. It'll go away soon." They think, "Oh my gosh, I actually feel disappointed that she blew me off, I must be pathetic" which drives them into AFChood even more than just coming to grips with the fact that it's OK to feel some anxiety sometimes. To tell a DJ it's never OK to feel dismay is like telling Muhammad Ali it's not OK to feel bad after losing a boxing match.
So all in all, my fellow DJ's, instead of trying to FIGHT your feelings, just accept them. This is my advice to everyone here in really maximizing your INNER GAME.
Good Luck and God Bless,
-Craig
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