The Structure of a good Approach.

[Hound_of_Love]

Whatever works for you...but if I put that much thought into approaching, I reckon I'd come across as completely unnatural.

Also I'd be spending so long checking that I'd prepared thoroughly that I'd never make the approach.

I find it much better just to be comfortable in your own skin. Using PU tactics just wouldn't work for me. Being natural does. It also makes you much more flexible.

 

[Stag]

Originally posted by The_Shezzler
THIS STRUCTURE OF APPROACHING IS FIELD TESTED BY ME!!!

I have good success with this...Do not skim.

Contrary to popular belief, YOU CANNOT EXPECT TO APPROACH A GIRL WITH A LAME ROUTINE AND EXPECT TO SCORE JUST BECAUSE YOU APPROACHED HER!!!

Ture...

Sure you showed you had confidence, ballz, guts and initiative but without a strong routined structure to backup your approach, your 95% of the time going nowhere!

I just thought that u will not have success with a lame routine. Now ur conctradicting yourself.

Think, Think, Think - I cannot emphasise this enough - You have to analyse your target (unless shes walking straight towards you then in that case the 3 second rule comes straight into effect).

Mystery: An amateur goes straight in, a pro waits 10 minutes.

Observe your surroundings, observe your target - What is she wearing, who is she with? were are you? If you just stop to take a look around you will notice a plethora of different subjects to potentially take your conversation with your target in any direction YOU choose.

With experience you can access a situation in seconds, even a fraction of a second. However, observing and hesitating to approach is sure way to fail. She will see you hesitation and excuses and will reject you.

Some people are of the opinion that SAYING ANYTHING when opening is the way to go.
This is ok if you are fearful of approaching, however the more skilled PUA knows that this is not enough to carry the conversation into a desired pathway to close the deal.

Thats right, you actually have to be interesting.

Once you have observed your target, your surroundings and are locked on...Its time for the OPENER.

OPENER.

Any loser can walk up to a girl and say 'Hi'....but then what??

You need to follow that up with a structured opener that you can then manipulate to lead the direction of the conversation off of the subjects she gives you vibe from.

I like Opinion Openers - they get peoples minds working.

Here are a few of my favourites:

Ive just bought two rabbits, i want to name them after pop/rock/film/sports/rap/ duos - can you give me some ideas?

Did you see those 2 girls fighting outside?!?! They were fighting over this little fat bald guy - he was just laughing while they kicked seven bells out of each other - it was brutal - what do you think about girls fighting over men? (CLub)

Can i ask your opinion on something.......? <insert question>

Hahaha. Ok, good luck. It is actually highly unnecessary to do opinion openers.

Vibing: Spirit Fingers is a master on this!!!

When ever anyone says anything to you, they give you a multitude of topics in which it is your job to pick up on these and direct the convo down the best possible path.

Quick example: Her: I went to a party last night, got drunk and danced like hell!

Topics she gives you:

1.Party last night
2.Parties in general
3.Getting Drunk
4.Dancing
5.What you did last night.

(Thanks Dan )

From then on you can either talk some more or do what i do - If shes pretty (and usually she is) hit her with some Negs.

You are letting her lead. You should really talk about what interests you and she will try to impress you.

NEG HITS.

If shes a SHB then you got to take her off her throne!! There are a plethora of Neg Hits out there to bring her down BUT they cannot be INSULTING, imagine how many times she gets insulted by guys who get turned down by her? Its just as bad as you coming out with some canned corny line.

The neg hit must be both subtley Complimentary and play on her mind, ie something that MOST guys (AFCs) dont say to her.

here are a few classics:

You: Are those nails real?
SHB: No...acrylic.
You: Oh...well...they look nice anyway

You: ahahah your nose wiggles when you talk...there it goes again...its sooooooo cute.

You: I like tall chicks...oh wait...you have heels on...how many inches are they..like 4 or 5?

You: Is that a hair piece? what do you call that style? The rats nest? jus kidding hehe it looks kinda nice.

My favourites - Thanks Mystery

"Weren't you wearing this dress the last time you were here?"

"Excuse me... may I finish my sentence first?"

"Oooh... Sick... You just spit on me!" (when the girl is talking to you).

 

[Stag]

From ASF - When you neg, ALWAYS present it as a compliment - be charming, friendly, positive, earnest and sincere in your "compliment" If you present your neg as a deliberate insult you come off as a jerk (which however is a good excuse to "apologise" by giving her a hug and a kiss to "make up" for your insult. Being a jerk of course could be a turn-on for some girls, but more often than not, it is a turn-off. Which doesn't mean that being a nice guy is your goal, in fact that's usually an even bigger turn-off. When you fall into the "nice" and eventually the "Let's Just Be Friends" zone, you'll wish you would have fallen into the "jerk" zone, that way you would at least have had some sort of a chance of doing a comeback. So avoid being a "jerk" or a "nice guy" - just take the best of both worlds and neg her with a "compliment

Then - once she is down from her throne - You gotta Demonstrate Some Value

She is on a throne only in your mind. If you actually considered yourself worthy of her, even better than her, you wouldnt even have to do that.

DEMONSTRATE VALUE.

Of course it all depends on how you are leading the convo and what you want to know from her - example from ASF.

The point of eliciting values is to find out what she wants in and from a man and then turn into that man of her dreams by providing her with it. But don't be fooled, if she says she wants her man to be tall and financially secure, you're not going to the doctor to get implants for your legs or rob a bank. What she gave you were means values, which means that tall in itself does nothing for her - what matters to her is how a tall man by her side makes her feel. And this is the key - for each means value you need to find out the ends value, which is what she really wants. Let's take the example of a tall man. Asking her "and how does a tall man make you feel?" might reveal that it makes her feel secure and protected! Aha! That's what she really wants! She wants to feel protected and secure, not a "tall man" per se. In practice, she'll reject a tall man that doesn't make her feel protected and secure right away, whereas you, who you might not be tall at all but can make her feel secure and protected, have just elicited your way to her pants.

All women want the same thing - a man. Statng what you like and not feeling insecure whether she will like it, she will be impressed more than if you played it like you were similar souls.

Now personally i am an athlete, so i try to take the convo down this pathway - demonstrating my athletic prowess, asking her how an athletic person/strong person makes her feel etc.
Now you can demonstrate value in a number of ways - not just through convo - Take mysterys levitation trick for example.
We are all individuals and all have different qualities that we can elicit to reel in the prey, you just gotta find it. Once this has been done - I like to ISOLATE the women.

You are trying to impress her. Rather express yourself, your feelings and experiences, she will follow.

ISOLATION.

Put them in a place where they are isolated, and they will die before fleeing (or something lol) - Sun-Tzu

Once you have your target isolated, then its time to run some game on her - Veil the world so that she sees only you at this time, present her with topics that control the flow of her day, use words to captivate her imagination and take her on a spellbinding rollercoaster of emotion that ultimately gets YOU where YOU want to be.

An easy way to elicit some more value and get some good MAVEC in is to use the mind reader test lol. Pretty cheesy but, hold her gaze with that Sexual State of mind and squeeze her hand as you do so.

Tell her to look into your eyes and think of a vegetable beginning with the letter C, then a country beginning with D, then a animal beginning with E.

The Usual answer would be - You: Your eating Carrots in Denmark while riding Elephants??? - this is good for KINO (watch for her squeezing your hand back and hold her gaze - If she holds your gaze for more than 3 secs then i would go in for the kiss ;X

If your not feeling the vibe just yet then you could try running some patterns if you know some: Heres one i analysed:

SS: Sex Is natural - analysed
This is a powerful pattern based around getting the women wet and in the sack in 10 minutes - the delivery of this should be near pefect - your voice tone should be on top form, you MAVEC should 75% of the way be natural and comfortable and the overall process in which you deliver the pattern should be based around you knowing that your gonna get a lay at the end of it - KNOWING.

Sex Is Natural Pattern:

(Fluff talk etc. Remember.. connection first!)

You : Well, we're adult's now, aren't we? We can talk about sex in an intelligent way, can't we ?

Her : Uhhh...yeah...

You : Well....how do you VIEW SEX NOW. (?)

(shut up and let her talk)

You : I agree. And I think that SEX is much more than that. It's human nature! SEX ensures that our species will survive and that's why SEX IS PROGRAMMED DEEPLY... INSIDE... YOUR MINE. It's like... there's this voice (pause, point to your own mouth or throat... hahaha... ambiguity) inside YOUR MINE, which is actually, your vocalized URGES and DESIRES... and as you LISTEN TO THIS VOICE, it's telling you... YOU WANNA HAVE SEX, YOU WANNA HAVE SEX... YOU NEED TO HAVE SEX.... YOU NEED TO HAVE SEX. NOW, WITH ME, this is all so natural! You may not ACT ON IT, or JUST DO IT, but the point is, it's a DESIRE... a natural, AROUSING URGE... ME, I TAKE THIS IN (point to ****)... with an open mind.

I don't know if you have OPENED YOURSELF UP (open leg gesture*) to things (point to ****) like these."

open leg gesture - join both palms, point palms towards her legs, then separate them on cue.

Ok, unneccessary. You assume shes not into sex, and u have to make it look natural. Of course sex is natural, treat it as such with your behavior. I.e. talk freely about it, but dont make it important. If she sees it is importat to you, she will not have sex with you. It is strange, but thats how women operate.

remember - this is only a template - mould and shape it to fit it your situaton

Beleive in yourself and deliver with confidence - then enjoy the fruits of your labour.

At this stage of your Sarge/Approach you should be at a level where youve #closed and really ought to have *closed. But if not, the game you have run and the following of this guide should stand you in good stead for future sarges.

Conclusion:
OPENER
NEG HIT
ELICIT VALUE
ISOLATE
MIND TRICKS/KINO/MAVEC/ROUTINE
CLOSE

Believe in yourself, and DO NOT FEAR APPROACHING - IF YOU WANT IT...THEN TAKE IT!!!

well that is as far from TAKING IT as it gets.

Good Luck

Sarge On... [/B][/QUOTE]

 

[Jariel]

Originally posted by Hound_of_Love
I find it much better just to be comfortable in your own skin. Using PU tactics just wouldn't work for me. Being natural does. It also makes you much more flexible.

I agree. All this stuff is too much work, too contrived and stinks a little of desperation. Personally, I would never try so hard with a woman. I'll just talk to her with no strategy, let the conversation flow and let her see my natural behaviour. Since I am confident in my natural self, I have nothing to hide or prove. Usually works perfectly for me.

 

[Hound_of_Love]

Originally posted by The_Shezzler
I try and spread a little help around, something that as helped me get multiple women in the past and i get sh1t on, theres a couple of good guys on here who know there stuff, get the girls and are all round good guys

GodsGift, AC, Drix, G-Man, Sexual, Quest (club alpha guys)

The rest are skidmarks on the underpants of society - I wish you all the best of luck in the future.

Sarge On...

Chill Shez, you're wound up way too tight there.

All me and Jariel said was that there are other ways - I'm not even criticizing your way, just making sure that people know, if your way fails for them, there is another way...

I would also add, if you're going to post advice on here, you've got to be prepared for people to criticize - If you're so sure of your style, it should be water off a ducks back.

 

[Stag]

Originally posted by The_Shezzler
Stag,

Come back when you have the success rates that i have

Thanks

Shezz

Sarge On...

The ideas you wrote her were said by some guy who thinks of himself as Moses, writing down the 10 Commandments and spreading them onto the world.
I don't think your success rate is very high, im not convinced you get really hot girls either.
But it is important for me that you see how most of this stuff would actually be hillarious to a hot girl.

 

[Jariel]

Yeah, nothing personal was intended.

However, I believe that if you did your approaches without using any of these strategies, you would still have the same success...maybe more.

A lot of techniques, lines, strategies have a placebo effect. Guys think they work so it gives them more confidence. Yet it's the confidence not the techniques that's causing the successes.

So really, I think whatever way you find your confidence - as long as you are natually confident, you will see big improvements.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Heheh,...just read 'The Game' have you?

All you're doing is re-covering what Mystery's Method has professed for a loooong time now kid.

I can hardly wait until The Game has entered into pop cultures social consciousness, women get wise to the techniques and PUAs really have to get creative.

 

[Skydiver43127]

Great tips. Really helped me, because openers are really the topic I'm focusing on right now. Some things to think about, however:

1) If you think a standard opener is lame, then you will convey this to the girl. Still some guys succeed with openers you (and I) consider the stupidest thing on Earth. I believe this is anouther "smart guy" problem - it's difficult to settle for "good enough"

2) A good compromise is to "engineer" encounters, if you have the time. For example, a few days ago I decided to run a poll through the first-year students at my university. Just made up some questions I was wondering about, and started going from door to door at the campus. Well, obviously I have total control on the encounter and I can also pick on their resposes to the questions. The drawback is that I actually have to DO the poll, which is work after all, and if it wasn't something I was originally inclined to do, it would really bug me.

I believe the ultimate answer is to make every situation, even seeing a girl on the street, "engineered", so that you're not being lame, but saying exactly what you would like to say. To that purpose: can anyone here describe, in great detail, how do you react in these situations:
1.You see a hot girl walking alone at the street opposite to you.
2.You walk past a hot girl who is standing at a bus stop.

I believe these are the scenarios I really need to make progress on. The third "important one" - travelling in the same bus/subway/whatever, you seem to handle like me - you use the time to look for situational openers.

 

[donovan]

Great outline for approaching. Y'all need to customize it for yourself. Nice one Shellzer.

 

[jiza101]

Hmm, i think there are typically two ways to approach. One revolves around routines, and games, and basically canned material. The other is what Jariel is talking about, which is basically displaying your traits, and actually HAVING good traits, where as PUA'ing is more about faking these traits.. Therefor to be a successor as a PUA you must have a good memory to learn all these routines and sh!t. However to be more natural, you must be extremely comfortable in who you are, what you want and how to get it. Which is the basis of self improvement...

You chose which one you think fits you the best. Personally i hate memorising sh!t, so im going to be more "natural" and keep improving myself, which will help me in all aspects of life, not just with women. Its your choice ! make it. Good post Shezzler.
The thing is, BOTH ways work, and women fall for both.... Its just a matter of which one you are more congruent with.

 

[fender85]

True . . . The point of the Mystery Method and all these "routines" is to reprogram the guy who has never had any success with women. The natural PUA doesn't need them because the game comes naturally to him. However there are many men out there that never had the kind of social interaction to pick up (no pun intended) on this, and so routines were created to help get him there. Now this is what separates PUAs. The drones will continue to use the same recycled lines, whereas the real thinkers will use the lines until they figure out WHY they work, then at that time can work towards building a "natural" approach.

I know some/most of it's recycled, but good on ya Shezz for packaging it together in this thread.

 

[Skydiver43127]

Gee, I didn't expect to see so much JBY comments in this forum. Anyway, if someone wants a serious discussion, i'll be around.

By the way, a little tip on learning - you do not need specifics to COPY them. That is unproductive in every case and that's why most tutors are reluctant to give them. You actually need specifics, however, to reverse-engineer and understand them. Actually a student of mine had to teach me this.

 

[Jukeboxhero]

There is a lot of good advice in this post. THe only thing is if you take too long to Observe your surroundings, sometimes the woman will get into a conversation with someone else.

I notice this when I go to bars/clubs. Of course I've only been places about 6 times or so but all those have been recently and EVERYTIME I go there are very few woman who aren't occupied with other men. Of course this is one of the disadvantages of going to bars and clubs.

Also, I like the first part the best...basically basing the conversation on what she is interested in or talking about. Later on the though it looks more like a canned routine.

 

[SlaterT]

Great post :cheer:

 

[Skydiver43127]

Well, as I said my street-approaches are not structured enough for my liking, but I can share the results I got from this poll I was making in the campus.

First I knock. Some students ask "Who is it?", to which I reply calmly "You don't know me". They always open after that. Most don't ask, actually -
Then I ask if there are first-year students around. If there are not, I just say "Oh, too bad, bye", even if a hot girl is on the door. Being selective in such a way helps me a lot in the way of communicating value. After I get some more practice I will think of some ****y&funny comment to get these girls too.

If there are first-year students in the room and they want to answer the poll, I ask them some questions about why they became university students, are they really interested in the major they chose (higher education in my country follows a very stupid version of the european educational system and many students are actually NOT studying something they want). I'm really interested in their replies, but being asked this is even more interesting for them and it distracts them. It also gives me hell of a matherial on which to neg them about in the future.

The final question is concerned with their plans on what they are going to do with their time - study, go to parties, ect. Apart from giving even better neg-matherial, it also makes them think about a very obvious fact - they are in a new city, with very few friends and have absolutely no idea how they're going to spend their time. That is actually the reason I chose first-year students as a target for the poll - it minimizes rejections. After that, while going out, I say "Hey, want to get together sometimes?" and after the "Yes" you have to be mentally retarded to not succeed in getting the mobile. (no stationary phones on campus) I have a 100% "Yes"-es on this question, by the way. (when her boyfriend is in the room with her on something like that, I just don't ask).

Of course, I complete the poll with boys and less atractive girls too, but a lot faster and more formal. It's only a minor loss of time (unlike some other issues)

Actually, there are only one negative side I can identify: major loss of time. Not with the poll itself, but with going from door to door trying to find someone who is actually at home and with finding first-year students. Took about 30 minutes a number overall in my case. This is mainly because the school year hasn't started yet, however. I believe 15-20 minutes is more reasonable estimation on the real cost of this strategy, but this is still way below the effectiveness of a street approach.

Anyway, doing the poll is real fun. Even without the numbers, meeting so much people without actually needing anything from them is very enlightening. There was for example this blond chick who couldn't open her door The fault was at the door, not the chick, but I told her that she has started a whole new series of jokes about blond girls not being able to even open a door.
There was this stupid slut, around 7-8 on my scale, whose body language shouted "I want you to get my number and I don't take 'no' for an answer". I ran her through the ugly girl/boy fast poll, just to piss her off. She looked like she was about to kill me when I left without getting her number.
Then there was a girl who coudn't understand how come someone is doing a poll just from curiosity. "Who is doing the poll?" "Me", "Yes, but who do you represent?", "Myself", "Yes, byt who are you working for", "Myself"... The girl finally rejected to do the poll and after I stopped laughing I said out loud in the corridor "I must be at the Economics institute campus." I really didn't know where I was at the time and the Economic institute at my city is famous for the stupidity of the students there. I said it as a joke thought. But then I noticed some guy passing by and asked "Hey, which campus I am in?" "The Economics institute".


Overall conclusions: If you're a student, don't have better things to do, and can think of interesting questions to ask, definitely try this out yourself. Otherwise don't bother - actually HAVING something to ask in the poll is the difference between DJ having fun and a desperate AFC looking for someone to go out with him.

As is actually having something to tell/ask an attractive girl on the street, by the way.