Hello, Forums!
Greetings, forums!
This post marks my debut to these forums, though I’ve been a reader now for several years.
I’ll preface this by mentioning I am a 23 year old recent college graduate who has been a professional guitar player and singer for the last five years. Between that and being a prominent member of the greek community at my school, I’ve got more than my fair share of stories to tell, but there are a few gems I’d like to bestow upon these forums:
After a lengthy comversation:
Girl: So do you think you’re going to sleep with me?
TheCraziestJ: Well, I don’t think we’ll be sleeping…
Following a show at a private house party:
Girl: I bet you hook up with lots of girls after concerts, don’t you?
TheCraziestJ: You’ll be the first…
Girl: Really?
TheCraziestJ: …Tonight.
(that one got me a slap)
At a grocery store yesterday afternoon, I was buying, among other things, a good bottle of wine:
TheCraziestJ: (to cute girl working cash register) So how old do you need to be to sell alcohol?
RegisterGirl: 18 to scan, 19 to carry, 21 to pour
TheCraziestJ: …and any old age to enjoy *wink*
RegisterGirl: So what’s the wine for?
TheCraziestJ: That depends, what time do you get off of work?
Etc etc etc
To a girl with blue and pink streaks in her hair at a frat party:
TheCraziestJ: Hey, Calico, toss me a beer!
To the cute girl who works at Arby’s:
TheCraziestJ: I knew there was a reason I was thinking Arbys…
While at the bowling alley last Thursday:
HB7: (to some guy she’s bowling with in the lane next to mine) Hey! Let go of my ball!
TheCraziestJ: Amazing! I Think it, you say it!
(she doesn’t seem to get the humor)
TheCraziestJ: Don’t worry, you’ll understand it a little later.
My frat brother had this gem:
At a Hawaiian themed party to a girl with a flower in her hair:
StLouisBlues: Nice flower, wanna loose it?
Some time at the frat hosue, I don’t remember exactly when:
Girl: You’re just like James Bond!
TheCraziestJ: (with a pinch of a Sean Connery accent) I’m afraid, Miss Monneypenny, that I’m way better than him.
At a bar in a nearby town a few weeks ago:
TheCraziestJ: (taps girl on shoulder) My friend thinks you’re a lesbian, I think we should prove him wrong.
While at a frat party:
GirlIKnow: Will you play guitar for me and my friends?
TheCraziestJ: Maybe. Will you swoon for me?
Quite possibly the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever said that ended in a hook-up:
TheCraziestJ: (out of the blue) So I realize we’re not gunna hook up tonight, so could you just slap me now to save me the time…
I may have some more goodies for you all in the near future, we’ll how this week pans out.
-J.