The Secret to Success AND Confidence...Keep it Simple
The guys here seem to be getting bogged down in all these rules and far too many details. I thought it might be helpful to remind people to keep things simple. Learning to be successful with the opposite sex should not be so confusing and difficult. So...this post will address the basics that will help the most.
Look your best:
Take an honest look in the mirror. If you were a stranger and were looking at yourself for the first time...what would your first impression be? Is that the impression you want to give off to people? If it isn't, then experiement with different looks until you find one that portrays you as the man you want to be viewed as. You can drastically alter your looks with hairstyles, exchanging glasses for contacts, adding or removing facial hair, changing your style of clothing, working out, tanning, even dying your hair. Looking your best will boost your confidence and make approaching women so much easier than it would otherwise be.
Don't fear rejection:
There are always going to be people who just aren't interested in you or aren't attracted to you. Just as you aren't interested in or attracted to every woman you see you need to remember that not every woman is going to be interested in you either. There is NO reason to take offense over this. The sky isn't going to fall and life won't end if you get rejected.
Don't be pushy or needy:
When you do meet someone who seems interested...DON'T overwhelm or suffocate her with your pursuit of her. Although every woman enjoys and needs a certain level of attention and affection from the man in her life...too much of these things will send us running for the hills. A woman will naturally let you know how much attention and affection she needs and wants from you. Women will reach out to you in a variety of ways when she needs those things. If she is reaching out to you, it's okay to show attention and affection. If she is pulling away from you...you are giving TOO MUCH. Don't profess your love for a woman unless you have been with her for at least 6 months. And don't ever do that unless you KNOW it's true. You should probably wait for her to say it first just so you don't overwhelm her and scare her off.
Don't make another person the center of your existence:
Have hobbies and a life built around the things you enjoy. Remember that it is YOU who are responsible for your happiness in life and never place the responsibility of your happiness on the shoulders of anyone else. If you build your life around another person...if it doesn't work out you'll be crippled by the loss. If you build your life around YOU, then if things don't work out for you, you won't feel so empty and lost.
The Rules here are a GUIDE only:
The information you find on this site are a guide to help you. They are not set in stone. When you ask for advice here...remember that no one here understands your situation better than YOU know it. The information here is only intended to help you learn to take off the rose colored glasses and see your situations and experiences more realistically. Learn to look at your problems honestly and think about what your goal is...what do you want the outcome to be? Once you figure that out...use common sense, respect yourself and follow your gut instinct. If you make a mistake, no biggie...that's how you learn and grow. Don't become so dependent upon the opinons of others to make your decisions. Asking for help should be a LAST resort utilized because you have tried to come up with an independent solution but are stuck. Too often guys don't try to resolve things on their own and just ask for help right away. That's not a good way to go, because if you don't take a chance on handling things independently you won't ever gain the confidence you really need to be successful with the opposite sex, or anything in life.
The Keys to gaining the confidence you need are:
1) Look the image you want to portray.
2) Don't let fear paralyze you.
3) Build your life around YOU...don't be needy.
4) Take responsibility for your own happiness.
5) Trust your judgement.
If you focus on these 5 simple steps and just approach women, your confidence will build up in no time and all these things will become second nature to you.
The guys here seem to be getting bogged down in all these rules and far too many details. I thought it might be helpful to remind people to keep things simple. Learning to be successful with the opposite sex should not be so confusing and difficult. So...this post will address the basics that will help the most.
Look your best:
Take an honest look in the mirror. If you were a stranger and were looking at yourself for the first time...what would your first impression be? Is that the impression you want to give off to people? If it isn't, then experiement with different looks until you find one that portrays you as the man you want to be viewed as. You can drastically alter your looks with hairstyles, exchanging glasses for contacts, adding or removing facial hair, changing your style of clothing, working out, tanning, even dying your hair. Looking your best will boost your confidence and make approaching women so much easier than it would otherwise be.
Don't fear rejection:
There are always going to be people who just aren't interested in you or aren't attracted to you. Just as you aren't interested in or attracted to every woman you see you need to remember that not every woman is going to be interested in you either. There is NO reason to take offense over this. The sky isn't going to fall and life won't end if you get rejected.
Don't be pushy or needy:
When you do meet someone who seems interested...DON'T overwhelm or suffocate her with your pursuit of her. Although every woman enjoys and needs a certain level of attention and affection from the man in her life...too much of these things will send us running for the hills. A woman will naturally let you know how much attention and affection she needs and wants from you. Women will reach out to you in a variety of ways when she needs those things. If she is reaching out to you, it's okay to show attention and affection. If she is pulling away from you...you are giving TOO MUCH. Don't profess your love for a woman unless you have been with her for at least 6 months. And don't ever do that unless you KNOW it's true. You should probably wait for her to say it first just so you don't overwhelm her and scare her off.
Don't make another person the center of your existence:
Have hobbies and a life built around the things you enjoy. Remember that it is YOU who are responsible for your happiness in life and never place the responsibility of your happiness on the shoulders of anyone else. If you build your life around another person...if it doesn't work out you'll be crippled by the loss. If you build your life around YOU, then if things don't work out for you, you won't feel so empty and lost.
The Rules here are a GUIDE only:
The information you find on this site are a guide to help you. They are not set in stone. When you ask for advice here...remember that no one here understands your situation better than YOU know it. The information here is only intended to help you learn to take off the rose colored glasses and see your situations and experiences more realistically. Learn to look at your problems honestly and think about what your goal is...what do you want the outcome to be? Once you figure that out...use common sense, respect yourself and follow your gut instinct. If you make a mistake, no biggie...that's how you learn and grow. Don't become so dependent upon the opinons of others to make your decisions. Asking for help should be a LAST resort utilized because you have tried to come up with an independent solution but are stuck. Too often guys don't try to resolve things on their own and just ask for help right away. That's not a good way to go, because if you don't take a chance on handling things independently you won't ever gain the confidence you really need to be successful with the opposite sex, or anything in life.
The Keys to gaining the confidence you need are:
1) Look the image you want to portray.
2) Don't let fear paralyze you.
3) Build your life around YOU...don't be needy.
4) Take responsibility for your own happiness.
5) Trust your judgement.
If you focus on these 5 simple steps and just approach women, your confidence will build up in no time and all these things will become second nature to you.
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