The Reciprocation Principle

[icepick]

Do not worry about your problems with women at all.

Focus on maintaining a happy persona. Personality gives away health more than anything else. (And all you evolutionists know that health=better reproductive potential) All people are attracted to fun, happy personalities. (Why do you think humor works wonders on chicks?) A girl that I work with is always ill-mannered, it makes her VERY unattractive. I always thought of her as an uglo, until one day where she was VERY happy (must have gotten laid or something ) and I noticed that she was kind of cute.

When I was in my best moods, (happy, outgoing, etc.) I attracted the most women.

When I was looking for validation, (teasing, flirting, picking up chicks, etc.) I got rejected the hardest.

When I was the most arrogant, people started to put me down the most.

When I tried to act like the smartest, I said the dumbest things.

For whoever has, to him will more be given, and he who doesn't have, from him will be taken away even that which he has. - Jesus

The times when the most good things happened to me, were the times when I was in a good mood to begin with.

The times when the worst things happened to me, were the times when I was in a poor mood. (Bad mindsets - arrogant, smart ass, etc.)

What does this mean?

You must make your own happiness, from that, all will fall into place. If you depend on the world to do it for you, the happiness you have will be taken away.

Many of the 'tips' and 'philosophies' of 'picking up women' try to show you how to fake happiness and contentment. Look:

Common 'Tips':
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Display Confidence - Why not already be content with your life and where you are headed? Then, you have nothing to really worry about, and you are naturally confident.

Smile and Make Eye Contact - What reason do you have to NOT smile and look in the eyes of a person you find attractive? That is where you WANT to look isn't it?

Don't Supplicate - Why do you need to do ANYTHING for this person? Don't YOU do everything for yourself? Why deny them the same independence?

Be ****y and Funny - Why would you be into self deprecating humor? Why WOULDN'T you be humerous?, after all you are in a happy mood.

Be Dominant - Don't you have any idea what you want to do? Why wouldn't you step up and voice your opinion? Why step aside and let someone else control the situation? Don't you think you are worthy enough?

Of course, you can do all these things by puffing up your ego, but then (when you get rejected hard) you will realize that it is not the way to go. You must grow up: away with the ego, away with the insecurities, away with the overanalysis, away with the haughtiness, away with the arrogance, away with the rationalization. Let not your '****y and funny' attitude come from the thought of "all chicks want my nutz", let not your 'dominance' come from "I am better then everyone else", let not your confidence come from rationalization, ("she failed to recognize quality") be a real man and take things as they are.

Don't try to impress people, don't try to seduce chicks, don't try to stay strong, dominant, confident, etc.

Just try to stay happy, and all else will follow.

And let no one cramp your style.

 

[So pimp its scary]

I likes *****out of *****.

 

[thecraftylefty]

Since we're on the subject of reciprocity, if anybody hasn't read Influences, by Cialdini, then do it right now. You'll gain a much better and fuller understanding of the topic.

"If your rap is strong it can't go wrong."

thecraftylefty

 

[sux2bu]

Well done.

 

[Sisko]

Yeah, another good post, which deserves to be on top.

 

[Sisko]

Hey can you send mi a copy of the book ??

 

[icepick]

teasing is fun, when you are happy, you tease. flirting is fun. i like to flirt, period. i enjoy it. picking up chicks is fun, i very much enjoy it when i am successful. you said that you get rejected the hardest when you do these things? first of all, don't take rejection personally if you're just flirting, teasing, and macking, the more you do it the better chance you'll have for success. it's a numbers game. i laugh when i get rejected, i don't take it seriously cuz i know i can't please everybody. its all in good FUN bro!!

Yes, thats true, I agree with you there. My point was that when I was 'flirting' with girls to boost my own ego was when I got rejected the hardest. I would just mess around with them to get a favorable reaction, but it would seem like they noticed my 'attention wh_reing' and rejected me. I realize that what I wrote does not make much sence as is. I meant that I would only flirt and pick up chicks for the sole purpose of boosting my ego, and I had NO INTENTION of doing anything else but assesing thier interest in me. (sad, but true)

agree but keep in mind that not everybody can be content with themselves, if that was the case, pychologists and web sites like this will be out of buissness.

Yes, I know this. But that is the GOAL of this website, to be content with yourself. And if you are not, then you need to CHANGE your life until you are.

being ****y and funny is FUN. sometimes when the girl is actin up, you need to put her into her place by being ****y and funny and giving her a neg hit. no one is a complete saint. we're not doing it to impress girls, but to show them who's boss. besides, it's fun to tease a girl, she enjoys it too, trust me, as long as you have it under control. if you were nice all the time, she would think that you are BORING.

I am not disagreeing with the whole ****y and funny thing. What I am pretty much saying is you should not TRY to be ****y and funny. You should adjust your ATTITUDE until you ARE ****y and funny. Then you wouldn't need to try to 'think up lines' and whatnot, and it will just come naturally.

don't try to impress people, do seduce chicks if you want to, always stay strong, dominant, confident, etc.

by just being happy won't turn you into a Don Juan. It takes hard work to gain the social skills needed to be successful with women.
it takes hard work to get rich and live a successful life. you weren't born with happiness, a real MAN makes his own happiness. whatever makes you happy, do it. weather its DJ-ing girls, or racing cars, its up to the individual. happiness is a REACTION to good things that happened because of all the effort, blood, sweat, tears, that you put into it. without ACTION, there is no REACTION.

Maybe my advice isn't good for everyone here. I think that I am realizing that now. My problem has always been too much THOUGHT. When I was NATURAL I could do nicely. Coming to this site gave me lots of 'theories' and rationalizations (e.g. 'all girls want you', 'they all try to test you', 'they sometimes fail to recognize quality' etc.) that enabled me to act like a superconfident pimp.

Sure, it worked for a while, but I tried too hard and got tired of it. I had to learn to let go and take things as they come without explaining them away by rationalization.

If I got rejected, I used to think "well, she is not good enough for me since she rejected me", now I think "well, sh*t happens!"

I also see that I could try to hard to be dominant, etc. When I could just be dominant naturally. When you are TRYING to be too dominant, you end up in fights. That is not good for anyone.

I really appreciate the input da dynamically. My post is pretty much about the bad things that happen when you try too hard and take things too far.