the quiet guy

[spidersense]

alright, so I've asked people that I've known for a while(some of which I knew from before I became a DJ) what their first impressions of me were, and many said that I come off as quiet. Ok, that shocked me, because I'm not very quiet. I was BSing with a lady friend and she said something and I actually said, "wow, I'm actually at a loss for words" and she said "that's a first" because I'm usually pretty whitty. I can make conversation fairly well... but they still think I come off as a quiet guy... ok.. whatever.. I suppose, I really need to look into that. I USED to be what I would consider quiet, but lately I've tried not to be... I see that as being boring. But anyways...
I need tips to either A) Make the quiet guy thing work better for me or
B) to stop being "a quiet guy"

 

[Double]

no you need tips to stop worrying so much what others think of you. it seems that you dont care if you are quiet or not, most important is that you make a good impression. think about how pathetic that is.

 

[spidersense]

Originally posted by Double
no you need tips to stop worrying so much what others think of you. it seems that you dont care if you are quiet or not, most important is that you make a good impression. think about how pathetic that is.

I was listening to David D's tapes and the interview with doc suggested that you go out and ask what peoples first impressions of you are.(every time I listen to them I get something new out of them) So I went and did that.

I don't worry, about anything. Worrying only makes things worse. I was wondering what's best. I've asked myself, What are some ways to make the quiet guy thing work for me and I don't come up with many answers. I already have some success with women. In fact I'm well ahead of most guys out there. I just want more.

 

[Double]

-when you talk than always talk with a strong voice
-when it comes to deciding something always have a strong opinion to lead the group
-always have confident bodylanguage
-never ever care about people thinking your quiet.......thats the difference between being shy and strong+silent.

 

[DeathDealer]

Originally posted by Double
-when you talk than always talk with a strong voice
-when it comes to deciding something always have a strong opinion to lead the group
-always have confident bodylanguage
-never ever care about people thinking your quiet.......thats the difference between being shy and strong+silent.

yup, true. hmmm go watch some of clint eastwood spaghetti cowboy movies like good, bad, ugly, or a fistful of dollars on the quiet/strong/confident type of persona. you'll notice that the evil guys tend to be the loud but appear strong/confident when they're really weak/nervous cause aggression controls their mind. --- this is where girls will test you for that.

 

[Marius_Novus]

It's all good!
I'm quiet as well. Does it make my life harder? Absolutely not!

As a matter of fact, the first time when I met my very first real love (many years ago, and not together anymore) I was in a group of some talkative people. You know what she said to me later on when we talked about how we met? She said that I was really quiet during that meeting and she thought it was totally cute. And that came from a person who can virtually talk to any stranger without any problems. Still, that did not pose any barriers against us getting together.

And I'm still quiet, too. In larger groups of strangers I will speak only when necessary or when asked to. And honestly folks who keep yupping senselessly get on my nerves easily.

Of course being quiet does not apply to one on one situations when it may seem little akward if you get together and you just sit there quietly waiting for her to talk
So, if you have no problems talking to someone individually, then you have no reason to worry.

 

[Double]

lol that reminds me of a date with a hot girl. we were together for ~4-5hours and i did only talk for about 10minutes, and from that 10minutes, about 8minutes about how hungry i am. she didnt talk much either. so we were just sitting, listening to music and staring at each other. she did even say hey its so quiet around here...can you tell me something? me:ummmm....hmm...

Well, i think i was really different from the rest of guys she had met

she started rubbing her legs at mine and stuff but back than i didnt know jack

edit:she did even write me a letter about how much she enjoyed the evening, lol, so you see you dont always have to talk, but normally it's talking is the better choice

 

[Climax]

SILENCE!

Never underestimate the power of silence!

Double: You probably turned her on with your body language alone ( Double said:

so we were just sitting, listening to music and staring at each other.

) ... If the scene is right ( backround music etc, not complete silence) then not talking isnt nessecerally bad, just depends on how u use other things like body language and kino So yes, silence can be a turn on at times.

Laterz...

 

[spidersense]

or she was a slut that just wanted some

 

[catch]

ime quiet, but horny, and every girl who meets me discribes me not as quiet, more like mysterious, a dark horse.
many dont know how to take me because ime not into small talk and they can sense a confident aura, through strong eye contact, masculin body language and most of all a comfortable silence.

sooo i dont see being a quiet guy all that bad, and besides that kind of stereotype is only based on a first impression. this leaves you with the choice of changing the way you behave on a fist impresion, someone told me i was a quiet guy, i told them i was given the right to remain silent because of my psychopathic tendensies.