Señor Fingers
Master Don Juan
Admirable as the mastery of seduction may be, you have to wonder how much of a priority it should take in our lives.
At one extreme we have the Average Frustrated Chump. Too lazy and scared to sort out his love life, he opts to retreat within himself or settle for the first chick that spreads her legs.
At the other end of the spectrum, there's the Average Fornicating Chump, who juggles so many plates he belongs in a circus, but ultimately has little more to show for the effort than physical pleasure.
Neither one is capable of finding the middle ground until they face some tough questions about reality and life, ultimately forcing them to prioritize and understand what is really important.
We all have different ideals, but there is a common-sense "ABC" to living well that remains a mystery to the illiterate.
I. Know Yourself
In today's society, this is no small feat. We are so busy with our distractions and entertainment, eyes ever pointed 0utward, that we become strangers to ourselves.
I find it ironic how easy it is for folks to recount their favorite TV episodes, but when you ask them anything personal they clam right up. Well, duh! They are more in tune with fiction than their own reality!
It's the same deal with relationships.. you pour all your energy into someone else and totally neglect your own needs. When that person finally loses respect for your doormat ass and leaves, it should come as no surprise that you have no reason to live.
When you are not in tune with who you are, catastrophe is inevitable!
A wise man loves entertainment/sex as much as the next man, but in understanding his own spirit and mission, he has enough perspective to put his diversions in their place.
Pop Quiz
• What do I absolutely love doing?
• What do I really want to accomplish with my life?
• Where do I see myself in 5 years? 10 years? 20 years?
• What can't I live without?
• What do I refuse to live with?
• Who do I look up to and why?
• What is holding me back right now, and why do I tolerate it?
II. Believe in Yourself
A positive mental attitude is paramount to success. You can have all the talent and ambition in the world but without faith it will only get you so far.
Society encourages us to believe strongly in things outside ourselves.. be it god, career, or whatever it is you worship on a daily basis. But religion does not necessarily equal faith!
Just ask Jesus:
Mustard seeds are pretty damn tiny. However, given the proper nurturing and care, they become magnificent trees. And like any organic process this take time and nurturing. To take root and grow, faith requires a the steadfast light of persistence and the fertile soil of imagination.
We have a tendency to look at our heroes and think that they were born into greatness, yet the people who inspire the most came from nothing, except their own stubborn belief that they could make sh!t happen.
Only when we truly believe, will we know freedom and laugh at the word "impossible"!
Pop Quiz
• Who and what do I believe in?
• Who believes in me?
• What am I most proud of?
• What am I most ashamed of?
• What are my strengths and weaknesses?
• What gives me hope?
• What am I thankful for?
III. Love, & Respect Yourself
Drive and focus are essentially worthless without compassion and self-esteem.
When women or monetary success are your primary sources of validation and worth, you run the risk of losing everything in one fell swoop. Take away the floozies and cash and what are you left with? Besides the ability to generate immediate gratification, what honestly makes you special?
Self respect cannot be worn, sold or pimped out. It grows from within, each time you overcome a challenge or make a sacrifice for the better. It is the act of embracing your significant self - devoting your life to things that actually matter and make a difference in your world.
It should never be confused with ego, which is actually destructive to one's self because it blinds us to the work we still have left to do.
This principle extends to all areas of your life, mind body and soul. So take a good look in the mirror and make sure that what you feel is genuine love and admiration, from within.
Pop Quiz
• Do I take care of myself and my health? Am I fit?
• Am I lovable?
• Do I get offended/hurt when people flake on me?
• Am I worthy of my aspirations?
• Do I get defensive when teased?
• Do I really learn from my mistakes, or just beat myself up constantly?
• Am I having fun playing this game, or is it all about winning?
Further reading and discussion
IV. Spread Love
All too often I get emails from guys who are trying to date HB10's, but have literally no social life. Great idea! Let's build the attic before we've finished the foundation! :crazy:
Friends play a vital role in our development. If we are not regularly kicking it and having a grand old time with people, our social muscles go lax and we develop anxieties, especially around women.
The trick is knowing who to befriend - If you have a handful of people who you can always count on for support and morale, who dont judge you or flee at the first sign of trouble, then count yourself fortunate, because you have successfully built a family.
Hot babes come and go, but your fams is there through thick and thin. Depending on someone you don't even know for emotional support is not even a consideration because you've learned to invest your energy wisely.
Pop Quiz
• How many people would I consider my friends?
• Who has really proven their loyalty to me?
• What criteria do I have for friendship?
• When was the last time I had belly laughs with someone?
• Do I feel comfortable talking about ANYTHING with my people?
• Can my friends give/take constructive criticism?
• Do we all give and receive equally?
V. Get Some Good Lovin
I can't deny its importance, but notice how its not at the top
.
What's great about having these priorities is that they act as healthy filters. A man with high self esteem and lots of personal work done is able to recognize the signs of a quality, low-maintenance woman. I posted this in another thread, but think it deserves reiteration.
HIGH MAINTENANCE GIRL
• Enjoys stirring up a sh!t storm and then watching people clean up her mess.
• Gets a kick out of watching people on a downward spiral.
• Selfish and incapable of real love cause her ego gets in the way.
• Never satisfied which is why she depends on you so much for satisfaction.
• Annoying sense of entitlement, like the world owes her a favor
• Usually very jealous and possessive
• Tries to wear the pants in the relationship
• Holds grudges forever
LOW MAINTENANCE WOMAN
• Considerate of other people's feelings.
• Enjoys helping people out, especially friends and fams.
• Makes an effort to reciprocate everything you do for her.
• Internally fulfilled and loves herself.
• Has her own circle of friends and gives you space.
• Trusts you implicitly
• Knows her place as a woman
• Forgives easily
It seems like common sense, but you'd be surprised how many guys will stick with a girl just because she looks fine. Prioritize and gain perspective of the bigger picture, it will prove indispensable in avoiding the deep ruts sprinkled along your path.
Relationships are covered more in-depth here.
VI. Pulling it All Together
This is something I wrote for myself over 10 years ago after a really bad breakup.. I just found it on an old Zip disk - it's what inspired this post:
==================================================
Personal Manifesto
• Excel and make a living with all my talents (design, music, programming)
• Learn a new language, or three
• Travel the world
• Learn to dance
• Be a total manwh0re
• Spend time alone and be productive
• Build furniture and sculpt for fun
• Study, meditate and evolve spiritually
• Meet a great woman to build a family with
• Teach my children all the lessons I learned the hard way
• Retire young with a boatload of money
• Buy some land and build a house with my own hands
• Learn to farm and harvest crops
• Build a Youth Center in my old neighborhood
• Look back on it all and die happy
==================================================
Notice how women were not my main objective and everything else is motivated by a desire for significance. It's humbling to see how much work is left to be done, but it's also encouraging to see that I am right where I need to be.
It also shows me that destiny does not just "happen", it's the course we methodically plot for ourselves.
This is no mission for the weak of heart. It takes a lot of balls and dedication, but with practice, faith and discipline, we find that navigation becomes effortless.
There is no limit to what is possible once you BElieve, REALize, and MANifest!
At one extreme we have the Average Frustrated Chump. Too lazy and scared to sort out his love life, he opts to retreat within himself or settle for the first chick that spreads her legs.
At the other end of the spectrum, there's the Average Fornicating Chump, who juggles so many plates he belongs in a circus, but ultimately has little more to show for the effort than physical pleasure.
Neither one is capable of finding the middle ground until they face some tough questions about reality and life, ultimately forcing them to prioritize and understand what is really important.
We all have different ideals, but there is a common-sense "ABC" to living well that remains a mystery to the illiterate.
I. Know Yourself
In today's society, this is no small feat. We are so busy with our distractions and entertainment, eyes ever pointed 0utward, that we become strangers to ourselves.
I find it ironic how easy it is for folks to recount their favorite TV episodes, but when you ask them anything personal they clam right up. Well, duh! They are more in tune with fiction than their own reality!
It's the same deal with relationships.. you pour all your energy into someone else and totally neglect your own needs. When that person finally loses respect for your doormat ass and leaves, it should come as no surprise that you have no reason to live.
When you are not in tune with who you are, catastrophe is inevitable!
A wise man loves entertainment/sex as much as the next man, but in understanding his own spirit and mission, he has enough perspective to put his diversions in their place.
Pop Quiz
• What do I absolutely love doing?
• What do I really want to accomplish with my life?
• Where do I see myself in 5 years? 10 years? 20 years?
• What can't I live without?
• What do I refuse to live with?
• Who do I look up to and why?
• What is holding me back right now, and why do I tolerate it?
II. Believe in Yourself
A positive mental attitude is paramount to success. You can have all the talent and ambition in the world but without faith it will only get you so far.
Society encourages us to believe strongly in things outside ourselves.. be it god, career, or whatever it is you worship on a daily basis. But religion does not necessarily equal faith!
Just ask Jesus:
Belief is what sets us free from doubt, and gives us wings to fly. But true faith is not microwaveable.. there is no Shake n' Faith!JC said:"...for verily I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you"
Mustard seeds are pretty damn tiny. However, given the proper nurturing and care, they become magnificent trees. And like any organic process this take time and nurturing. To take root and grow, faith requires a the steadfast light of persistence and the fertile soil of imagination.
We have a tendency to look at our heroes and think that they were born into greatness, yet the people who inspire the most came from nothing, except their own stubborn belief that they could make sh!t happen.
Only when we truly believe, will we know freedom and laugh at the word "impossible"!
Pop Quiz
• Who and what do I believe in?
• Who believes in me?
• What am I most proud of?
• What am I most ashamed of?
• What are my strengths and weaknesses?
• What gives me hope?
• What am I thankful for?
III. Love, & Respect Yourself
Drive and focus are essentially worthless without compassion and self-esteem.
When women or monetary success are your primary sources of validation and worth, you run the risk of losing everything in one fell swoop. Take away the floozies and cash and what are you left with? Besides the ability to generate immediate gratification, what honestly makes you special?
Self respect cannot be worn, sold or pimped out. It grows from within, each time you overcome a challenge or make a sacrifice for the better. It is the act of embracing your significant self - devoting your life to things that actually matter and make a difference in your world.
It should never be confused with ego, which is actually destructive to one's self because it blinds us to the work we still have left to do.
This principle extends to all areas of your life, mind body and soul. So take a good look in the mirror and make sure that what you feel is genuine love and admiration, from within.
Pop Quiz
• Do I take care of myself and my health? Am I fit?
• Am I lovable?
• Do I get offended/hurt when people flake on me?
• Am I worthy of my aspirations?
• Do I get defensive when teased?
• Do I really learn from my mistakes, or just beat myself up constantly?
• Am I having fun playing this game, or is it all about winning?
Further reading and discussion
IV. Spread Love
All too often I get emails from guys who are trying to date HB10's, but have literally no social life. Great idea! Let's build the attic before we've finished the foundation! :crazy:
Friends play a vital role in our development. If we are not regularly kicking it and having a grand old time with people, our social muscles go lax and we develop anxieties, especially around women.
The trick is knowing who to befriend - If you have a handful of people who you can always count on for support and morale, who dont judge you or flee at the first sign of trouble, then count yourself fortunate, because you have successfully built a family.
Hot babes come and go, but your fams is there through thick and thin. Depending on someone you don't even know for emotional support is not even a consideration because you've learned to invest your energy wisely.
Pop Quiz
• How many people would I consider my friends?
• Who has really proven their loyalty to me?
• What criteria do I have for friendship?
• When was the last time I had belly laughs with someone?
• Do I feel comfortable talking about ANYTHING with my people?
• Can my friends give/take constructive criticism?
• Do we all give and receive equally?
V. Get Some Good Lovin
I can't deny its importance, but notice how its not at the top
What's great about having these priorities is that they act as healthy filters. A man with high self esteem and lots of personal work done is able to recognize the signs of a quality, low-maintenance woman. I posted this in another thread, but think it deserves reiteration.
HIGH MAINTENANCE GIRL
• Enjoys stirring up a sh!t storm and then watching people clean up her mess.
• Gets a kick out of watching people on a downward spiral.
• Selfish and incapable of real love cause her ego gets in the way.
• Never satisfied which is why she depends on you so much for satisfaction.
• Annoying sense of entitlement, like the world owes her a favor
• Usually very jealous and possessive
• Tries to wear the pants in the relationship
• Holds grudges forever
LOW MAINTENANCE WOMAN
• Considerate of other people's feelings.
• Enjoys helping people out, especially friends and fams.
• Makes an effort to reciprocate everything you do for her.
• Internally fulfilled and loves herself.
• Has her own circle of friends and gives you space.
• Trusts you implicitly
• Knows her place as a woman
• Forgives easily
It seems like common sense, but you'd be surprised how many guys will stick with a girl just because she looks fine. Prioritize and gain perspective of the bigger picture, it will prove indispensable in avoiding the deep ruts sprinkled along your path.
Relationships are covered more in-depth here.
VI. Pulling it All Together
This is something I wrote for myself over 10 years ago after a really bad breakup.. I just found it on an old Zip disk - it's what inspired this post:
==================================================
Personal Manifesto
• Excel and make a living with all my talents (design, music, programming)
• Learn a new language, or three
• Travel the world
• Learn to dance
• Be a total manwh0re
• Spend time alone and be productive
• Build furniture and sculpt for fun
• Study, meditate and evolve spiritually
• Meet a great woman to build a family with
• Teach my children all the lessons I learned the hard way
• Retire young with a boatload of money
• Buy some land and build a house with my own hands
• Learn to farm and harvest crops
• Build a Youth Center in my old neighborhood
• Look back on it all and die happy
==================================================
Notice how women were not my main objective and everything else is motivated by a desire for significance. It's humbling to see how much work is left to be done, but it's also encouraging to see that I am right where I need to be.
It also shows me that destiny does not just "happen", it's the course we methodically plot for ourselves.
This is no mission for the weak of heart. It takes a lot of balls and dedication, but with practice, faith and discipline, we find that navigation becomes effortless.
There is no limit to what is possible once you BElieve, REALize, and MANifest!