Naughty Ninja
Banned
The official Plenty of Fish/online dating chick profile translator!
Thanks goes out to Bradd80 for starting the original thread, Floydb25, Nismo-4 and all who contributed.
Pay attention to the coded meanings on profiles. You've been warned.
“While looks aren’t everything, physical attraction is important” – you must have a smokin’ hot body to message me.
“Health and fitness are very important to me and they must be to you too” – you must have a smokin’ hot body to message me.
“I like to wear heels” – You must be over 6’1” to message me as you need to be able to match my tallest pair of heels.
“I’m sort of a geeky bookworm “ – I’ve only read 50 Shades of Grey, Twilight, and the Hunger Games and I put them on par with Shakespeare and Dostoevsky.
“I love sushi” – I think because I can attempt to eat with chopsticks that I am sophisticated and cosmopolitan.
“I have a sarcastic sense of humor” - I never say anything sarcastic, I take everything literally, and I wouldn’t recognize sarcasm, irony, or satire if it hit me in the face.
“I’m a bit of a reality tv junkie” – I want to look like Kim Kardashian and I expect you to look like Colin Farrell.
“I am sick of games, drama, and BS” –I am only attracted to a**holes.
“When it comes to music I literally listen to EVERYTHING. My ipod is so schizophrenic/random” – my ipod only consists of Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, and Madonna.
“I’m looking for a nice, decent guy who treats me right “ – if you’re a nice decent guy don’t message me.
“I am NOT here for hook ups or one night stands” – unless you have a smokin hot body.
“What’s most important to me is a guy who can make me laugh” – that and the fact that you look like matthew mcconaghey or any of the douchebags in Magic Mike.
“Please put the effort in to read my profile and not just look at my pics” – 2 sentence profile with pics showing cleavage and perfect figure in a bikini.
“I will not respond to messages like ‘hey whats up’ or ‘you look good honey’” – unless you have a smokin hot body. Though I will send you a ‘Hey what’s up’ message if I actually take the time from reading/deleting my messages based on tiny thumbnail pics and search for guys on my own and find you HOT.
“I love to travel” – the only place I’ve traveled outside of <insert your city here> is Cancun for spring break where i got drunk and banged 5 different guys in 10 days.
“For fun I like going out for drinks with the girls” – I drink too many kamikaze shots and make out with scumbags at the bar.
“Must not do drugs” – Unless you give me a bump of coke in a South Beach bar bathroom.
“Must have a job” – club owner or personal trainer. (Though I do currently date unemployed guys in real life.)
“I like a guy who is smart” – but not an IQ above 95 so I don’t feel intimidated.
“Must not have mental issues” – unless you have narcissistic personality disorder.
“I consider myself spiritual but not religious” – I still pray to Jesus so I won’t go to hell but I like the freedom to get drunk and fornicate.
“So if you want to know anything else, just message me. Look forward to hearing from you!” – Message me so I can make a snapshot judgment of you based on a tiny thumbnail pic, and then delete your message without reading it or looking at your profile.
“I love photography and taking pictures" = You can bet if you're in the top 2% of their looks category you'll be getting my full nudes picture messaged to your phone or email.
I like to have "fun" = looking for a one night stand fvcking from the hottest dude or other chick on POF. (If you are damn good looking try using the sex code word "fun" right at them in email conversation. Trust me they know what it means.)
“Looking to hang out/cuddle" = Do you really need to be told what I’m looking for?
"Is anyone on here real?!" = I only respond to the hottest guys online and have been getting trollolol'd by a few dudes using fake model pics to get my number and have me text n00dz. Please be real and hot and I’ll send you my noodz too.
Thanks goes out to Bradd80 for starting the original thread, Floydb25, Nismo-4 and all who contributed.
Pay attention to the coded meanings on profiles. You've been warned.
“While looks aren’t everything, physical attraction is important” – you must have a smokin’ hot body to message me.
“Health and fitness are very important to me and they must be to you too” – you must have a smokin’ hot body to message me.
“I like to wear heels” – You must be over 6’1” to message me as you need to be able to match my tallest pair of heels.
“I’m sort of a geeky bookworm “ – I’ve only read 50 Shades of Grey, Twilight, and the Hunger Games and I put them on par with Shakespeare and Dostoevsky.
“I love sushi” – I think because I can attempt to eat with chopsticks that I am sophisticated and cosmopolitan.
“I have a sarcastic sense of humor” - I never say anything sarcastic, I take everything literally, and I wouldn’t recognize sarcasm, irony, or satire if it hit me in the face.
“I’m a bit of a reality tv junkie” – I want to look like Kim Kardashian and I expect you to look like Colin Farrell.
“I am sick of games, drama, and BS” –I am only attracted to a**holes.
“When it comes to music I literally listen to EVERYTHING. My ipod is so schizophrenic/random” – my ipod only consists of Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, and Madonna.
“I’m looking for a nice, decent guy who treats me right “ – if you’re a nice decent guy don’t message me.
“I am NOT here for hook ups or one night stands” – unless you have a smokin hot body.
“What’s most important to me is a guy who can make me laugh” – that and the fact that you look like matthew mcconaghey or any of the douchebags in Magic Mike.
“Please put the effort in to read my profile and not just look at my pics” – 2 sentence profile with pics showing cleavage and perfect figure in a bikini.
“I will not respond to messages like ‘hey whats up’ or ‘you look good honey’” – unless you have a smokin hot body. Though I will send you a ‘Hey what’s up’ message if I actually take the time from reading/deleting my messages based on tiny thumbnail pics and search for guys on my own and find you HOT.
“I love to travel” – the only place I’ve traveled outside of <insert your city here> is Cancun for spring break where i got drunk and banged 5 different guys in 10 days.
“For fun I like going out for drinks with the girls” – I drink too many kamikaze shots and make out with scumbags at the bar.
“Must not do drugs” – Unless you give me a bump of coke in a South Beach bar bathroom.
“Must have a job” – club owner or personal trainer. (Though I do currently date unemployed guys in real life.)
“I like a guy who is smart” – but not an IQ above 95 so I don’t feel intimidated.
“Must not have mental issues” – unless you have narcissistic personality disorder.
“I consider myself spiritual but not religious” – I still pray to Jesus so I won’t go to hell but I like the freedom to get drunk and fornicate.
“So if you want to know anything else, just message me. Look forward to hearing from you!” – Message me so I can make a snapshot judgment of you based on a tiny thumbnail pic, and then delete your message without reading it or looking at your profile.
“I love photography and taking pictures" = You can bet if you're in the top 2% of their looks category you'll be getting my full nudes picture messaged to your phone or email.
I like to have "fun" = looking for a one night stand fvcking from the hottest dude or other chick on POF. (If you are damn good looking try using the sex code word "fun" right at them in email conversation. Trust me they know what it means.)
“Looking to hang out/cuddle" = Do you really need to be told what I’m looking for?
"Is anyone on here real?!" = I only respond to the hottest guys online and have been getting trollolol'd by a few dudes using fake model pics to get my number and have me text n00dz. Please be real and hot and I’ll send you my noodz too.
