The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[TBG]

Did what I should have done months ago and blocked her on everything.

Yesterday after continuing to ignore her she sent "Have I wronged you in some way?". Again ingored it. So she messages me on Instagram "I would have came for lunch with you if you hadn't been ignoring me for some unknown reason". So yes I was right about the Boyfriend being away, hence her coming to me for attention/wanting to hang out.

 

[BeTheChange]

Day 4

Set myself a whole range of summer goals icluding:

Gym 5 days a week
Moving from Beginner to Advanced level in Salsa and Bachata by end of summer
Meditate twice a day

These are great but they don't actually help me get women directly. I think GFTOW is solid post break up advice as long as you ensure the quality is similar to your ex. I'm also a stage in my life where an LTR fits in with my life plans to have a family in my mid 30s.

So setting myself another additional goal:
Ask atleast two women a day for their number till the end of the summer.

When you embrace and accept these two truths:

1. You have immense value
2. Beautiful women are everywhere

Then finding an attractive woman is simply a matter of probability. I'm virtually guaranteed to have atleast one smoking hot plate by the end of summer.

 

[Paradiddle]

The NC Rule works like fvck. Had a good sex with my ex some days ago with no strings attached. I feel blessed to have found this forum. God bless you all who helped me through.

 

[Murk]

Ping my ex an email - blame the coke and wine.

Does this mean on reset? Even though I'm sure she doesn't get the emails and we haven't had an exchange for 5.5 months?

 

[Paradiddle]

Does this mean on reset? Even though I'm sure she doesn't get the emails and we haven't had an exchange for 5.5 months?

Reset.

 

[Magotrox]

The NC Rule works like fvck. Had a good sex with my ex some days ago with no strings attached. I feel blessed to have found this forum. God bless you all who helped me through.

Welcome! Search the old posts. There's so much gold around here.

 

[IKO69]

Day 4

Set myself a whole range of summer goals icluding:

Gym 5 days a week
Moving from Beginner to Advanced level in Salsa and Bachata by end of summer
Meditate twice a day

These are great but they don't actually help me get women directly. I think GFTOW is solid post break up advice as long as you ensure the quality is similar to your ex. I'm also a stage in my life where an LTR fits in with my life plans to have a family in my mid 30s.

So setting myself another additional goal:
Ask atleast two women a day for their number till the end of the summer.

When you embrace and accept these two truths:

1. You have immense value
2. Beautiful women are everywhere

Then finding an attractive woman is simply a matter of probability. I'm virtually guaranteed to have atleast one smoking hot plate by the end of summer.

I like your mentality. If you stick with this and continuously expand in your growth you will laugh at whatever issues you may have had once before.

 

[BeTheChange]

Day 8

Looking forward to actually completing this challenge. Making it to 60 days.

 

[RedScorpion]

Rejoining the NC thread, and restarting NC I had before. Nothing of any direct communication had happened (just indirect online) - but I've gone through some introspection. I don't really sense any sort of friendship based in reality, as I doubt either of us will actually reach out. And if she did, I wouldn't be able to see it as genuine friendliness. Just remnants of the past sticking around, and more likely her seeking slight validation. But if that's the case, I won't provide attention to that end, and I'll let it fade silently completely away. This is more my affirmation that I'm keeping her existence out of sight, out of mind.

 

[BeTheChange]

Day 11

Had a great weekend and seem to be over the hump. This breakup has been pretty easy. Gym or cardio daily, regular salsa, socialising with friends, spinning plates, getting into a new routine and setting new goals all helped immensely.

The only thing I really miss about her specifically (as opposed to simply missing having a girlfriend) is her body...that ass! Says it all really.

Life is great. Getting into my new routine. Friend-zoned one of my plates last night as I'm only interested in the highest calibre of chicks right now. Any girl I see needs to have the potential to be the wife. This one was a cool girl but zero sex appeal. Should genuinely make a good friend. Plus she salsas! We hadn't hooked up before anyway.

Had a date on Friday, which went well. Met her on Bundle. I can tell by the way she is, it will be a while before I bang but once I do she'll be around for a while.

Seeing her again this Friday and have a first date lined up on Thursday with a girl who I used to houseshare with a year ago. Reached out and was honest with my intentions. Told her she was attractive and the only reason I didn't try anything back then was because we were housemates. She was surprised but expressed an interest in us going for drinks and seeing where it leads. Excited for this one! She is beautiful. Model looks and physique with huge boobs for her frame. An amazing package.

Have a few more dates lined up as insurance but these are the two I'm most keen on. I am going to start using salsa as an outlet for finding new plates because the type of body I like (small waist, big bums, tanned skin) is much harder to find outside of the Latin/Mediterranean world. Work is also going well and the sun is out so it's a positive vibe all round.

 

[beatjunkie]

Day 1 (need advice)

Recently got dumped by my ex-gf on June 22. We dated for a year on and off. It was her mostly who broke things off every time. She would come back everytime after me going silent or moving. We tried to talk things out and work on our issues. That did not work. We tried to do couples counseling but our schedules were too busy. Anyhow, after the breakup (June 22) I took a few days off and attended a cousin's wedding overseas. Made the mistake of calling her last Saturday (June 30) from overseas. Offered friendship, she said we can't be friends and needs time apart. She said at least 6 months apart and said in a way to torment me. I lost it. She hung up. I tried calling back twice.

Then yesterday this happened;

1) I tried calling her but she hung up the phone after a few dials.

2) I then sent her a text saying "I haven't been sleeping or eating and I cannot focus on work. I dont have family here (not my home country) and you were my closest friend. I dont know how I can function and move on. I am finding it difficult to do anything. I dont want to drink of smoke my problems away. I cannot go back to the psychiatrist (I have abandonment issues) because we had gone in together and I am worried that the memories of her in his office would be too much. I have a lot to get out of my chest. Please talk to me, I need you."

3) No response to the above text so I called back 3 times at different hour intervals. No response to any attempts.

I am not sure if she will come back after these moves but I dont expect her to. I plan on working on myself and getting healthier. Though I desperately need to see my counselor as well.

So today is my first day of NC. Wondering if I should remove her from Instagram? Would that ruin any chances of reconciliation and would it be seen as childish?

Any thoughts on how bad I messed up or chances of getting her back after these beta moves are welcome!

 

[Spaz]

Day 1 (need advice)

Recently got dumped by my ex-gf on June 22. We dated for a year on and off. It was her mostly who broke things off every time. She would come back everytime after me going silent or moving. We tried to talk things out and work on our issues. That did not work. We tried to do couples counseling but our schedules were too busy. Anyhow, after the breakup (June 22) I took a few days off and attended a cousin's wedding overseas. Made the mistake of calling her last Saturday (June 30) from overseas. Offered friendship, she said we can't be friends and needs time apart. She said at least 6 months apart and said in a way to torment me. I lost it. She hung up. I tried calling back twice.

Then yesterday this happened;

1) I tried calling her but she hung up the phone after a few dials.

2) I then sent her a text saying "I haven't been sleeping or eating and I cannot focus on work. I dont have family here (not my home country) and you were my closest friend. I dont know how I can function and move on. I am finding it difficult to do anything. I dont want to drink of smoke my problems away. I cannot go back to the psychiatrist (I have abandonment issues) because we had gone in together and I am worried that the memories of her in his office would be too much. I have a lot to get out of my chest. Please talk to me, I need you."

3) No response to the above text so I called back 3 times at different hour intervals. No response to any attempts.

I am not sure if she will come back after these moves but I dont expect her to. I plan on working on myself and getting healthier. Though I desperately need to see my counselor as well.

So today is my first day of NC. Wondering if I should remove her from Instagram? Would that ruin any chances of reconciliation and would it be seen as childish?

Any thoughts on how bad I messed up or chances of getting her back after these beta moves are welcome!

It's been a while now since I last entered here, usually when it's highlighted in the updates.

U need to create a new thread just for this buddy.

Gently reminding you that u hv been here since 2014 and it's abt time you read the DJ bible.

Sorry to be the bringer of bad tidings, I highly doubt she'll want you back given all the red flags u hv displayed.

Even if she did it's because she can't land a more manly man.

Nothing abt what you're posted is seemingly manly, masculine but highly feminine and no woman in the right frame of mind will be attracted to that. It's like dealing with another female from ur ex perspective. It's downright disgusting.

She was absolutely correct in dumping you.

She deserves to be fvcked by a real man and it will make her happy.

All women deserves to be fvcked by a real man and not by some female stuck in a man's body.

And if u really desire to be that man; go read POOK in the DJ bible then start practising and in a short few years you'll be that person whom ur ex desires.

 

[beatjunkie]

It's been a while now since I last entered here, usually when it's highlighted in the updates.

U need to create a new thread just for this buddy.

Gently reminding you that u hv been here since 2014 and it's abt time you read the DJ bible.

Sorry to be the bringer of bad tidings, I highly doubt she'll want you back given all the red flags u hv displayed.

Even if she did it's because she can't land a more manly man.

Nothing abt what you're posted is seemingly manly, masculine but highly feminine and no woman in the right frame of mind will be attracted to that. It's like dealing with another female from ur ex perspective. It's downright disgusting.

She was absolutely correct in dumping you.

She deserves to be fvcked by a real man and it will make her happy.

All women deserves to be fvcked by a real man and not by some female stuck in a man's body.

And if u really desire to be that man; go read POOK in the DJ bible then start practising and in a short few years you'll be that person whom ur ex desires.

Ouch that hurt but thanks. It was the right thing to read/say to me. Clearly i went total AFC. My main concern now is trying to gain frame, should I remove her from instagram? Or just drop the whole damn thing as it is a lost case and move on and live my life without worrying what she may think.

 

[beatjunkie]

Allow me to add that the breakup occured because of difference in religion and families not being able to accept. It was not because i went beta or slipped up. She had been thinking about it, even mentioned that she lost sleep and then broke up with me after.

 

[Spaz]

Religion or family is merely a convenient excuse, I think deep down you know this too.

When a woman is deeply in love, nothing I mean nothing will stop her from wanting you even if u were the Devil incarnate.

That said, it's all got to do with you as a man, she doesn't find you attractive as in character attractiveness.

Delete her from all social network. Keep with the NC. If she calls to check up on you, it's not you but it's for her own validation; knowing she has power over men. Don't validate her. Remove as in dismiss.

Then work on urself and be a mother fvcking great man that you were born to be, as ur ancestors were thousands of years ago, they would literally turn in their graves knowing how far u hv fallen. We wouldn't want that would we?

 

[RedScorpion]

Ouch that hurt but thanks. It was the right thing to read/say to me. Clearly i went total AFC. My main concern now is trying to gain frame, should I remove her from instagram? Or just drop the whole damn thing as it is a lost case and move on and live my life without worrying what she may think.

Force yourself to wait at least a week about the instagram thing. I suggest if you can stand not looking at her page, or if you can set it so her posts aren't visible (not sure how instagram works), then you might be fine. Some people can't resist looking however. Any sort of viewing on how she's doing (good or bad, or even boring/neutral) will set you back. New info will stimulate you remembering that she is still a thing.

If you have to remove her (after some thinking about it), no shame in doing so. Do what you have to do to move on.

Regardless of how the break up went, going NC is the best way.

 

[BeTheChange]

Day 12

Introspection and hard truths time. Messed up a good thing but these things happen and lessons were learned. Loving the challenge of NC and intend to stick it out for 60 days.

However I do plan to reach out after the challenge is over. Maybe I will feel differently by day 60. I'm doing this more for myself than anything else. So perhaps she meets another guy or forgets about me and moves on. Well that's a risk worth taking.

 

[GruntCardone]

Day 12

Introspection and hard truths time. Messed up a good thing but these things happen and lessons were learned. Loving the challenge of NC and intend to stick it out for 60 days.

However I do plan to reach out after the challenge is over. Maybe I will feel differently by day 60. I'm doing this more for myself than anything else. So perhaps she meets another guy or forgets about me and moves on. Well that's a risk worth taking.

This all sounds familiar. You've reached out to your previous ex with a backhand and it cost you your job.

Looks like no more trips to Dubai to give a speech to the UN on the company credit card while your secretary flips skyscrapers back home.. But the good news is I can recommend some good criminal defense attorneys for the battery charge. PM me for more info.

Good luck!

 

[BeTheChange]

Day 13

Salsa tonight. Hopefully be some hotties about. Cut down salsa days to three per week. Quality over quantity. Date with the "part time model" to look forward to Thursday as well.

Smashing work at the moment. We potentially have three new clients and another investee company to integrate into our portfolio. Also flying out to a prominent tax haven end of this month (work related). Think Cayman Islands, BVI, Jersey, etc. Will be meeting a number of government ministers and potential investors. With all these things to prep for July should fly by.

 

[beatjunkie]

Day 2 (end of)

I woke up early this morning feeling extremely down and depressed. Went for a 45 minute jog and let the cold air hit and refresh me. It helped. On the drive to work I had to stop a few times to vent. Darn it was hard.

Afternoon I felt better. Much better. Productivity at work also picked up. I posted on socia media. Some old pics of me at work that a colleague handed to me that got me excited. I immediately regreted after as I thought she may perceive it as subliminals. Haven't removed it. Whatever, can I live a little?? I frankly don't want to delete her yet because, after going complete beta at the end with that text and 4 phonecalls, doing so would seem like an childish emotional reaction.

The good thing about today was that I told myself over and over that things happen for a reason and that there is no hope of a getting back together. I figure taking the harder path and accepting early on will make the recovery faster.

Hoping tomorrow won't be so bad.