The Natural Way to Meet Women

[skinnyguy]

Clubs in general are a horrible place to meet women. You're competing with 2500 other ****s. And plus, she has her "guard" up because she assumes you're a jerk.

A lot of desperate guys go to clubs and women know this. They know that they the guys who go to clubs to meet women aren't getting any elsewhere. Most women who go to clubs go there to "dance" and talk to their friends. You're boosting their egos every time you walk up to them.

The PUA community essentially ruined the dating scene for men by approaching every single girl at clubs. Now they have ALL the power while the average guy is getting laid much less.

 

[Tortendieb]

Not all of us are social butterflies, as in some of us have very small social circles or none at all, just a few friends that do not really make a social circle so meeting women through mutual friends is not really an option if you have that

I exactly agree. While I can be outgoing if I make an effort, I'm naturally introverted, and I have a small circle of good friends. The image I like to project, and which seems to work well, is a dark mysterious stranger. Not saying I'm all James Bond, but I like his style.

Since building huge social circles (and taking care of them, organizing parties etc.) goes against my identity, it's a huge effort. For me it's actually easier to roll into a pub and talk to strangers.

Bottom line; social circles are a valid point! But maybe it's not for everyone.

 

[zekko]

The PUA community essentially ruined the dating scene for men by approaching every single girl at clubs. Now they have ALL the power while the average guy is getting laid much less.

Women have always had the power in clubs. But with every guy that approaches them, they gain more power. PUAs love to blame women's attitudes on AFCs (half of whom are too afraid to approach), but they play just as big a part in driving up women's perceived SMV. Thanks to PUAs, your average married woman can go to the club and get hit on 10 times in a night, and then go home with her ego happily boosted.

Truth is, men pursue and women choose. With a few exceptions. If you're a male, chances are good you are contributing to this in some form or other.

 

[Bossman90]

Why is it that so much dating/PUA advice focuses almost exclusively on meeting women randomly (i.e. at the mall, in bookstores, bars, clubs, etc.)? Meeting women in these environments, as compared to meeting them through more "natural" means (i.e. through hobbies, mutual friends, organized events, a buddies party, etc.) is MUCH more difficult and far more work, yet so many guys seem dead-set on approaching girls in bars and clubs.

I read a book years ago titled "Make Every Girl Want You." It explained that there are three types of environments in which a man can meet a woman: Naturally-Inviting Environments, Moderately-Inviting Environments, and Bothersome Environments. Bothersome Environments (bookstores, bars, clubs, anywhere in which you randomly approach women you don't know) are always tough for the simple fact that women usually have their "shield" up in these environments. For example, a woman may shun you if you approach her in a nightclub, whereas that same woman would at least be polite and talk to you if you met her at a mutual friends party or through an organized event, like a co-ed softball team.

Honestly, it baffles me that so many guys focus on meeting women in such challenging environments. Of course, you can meet women anywhere, but some places are better than others. I would love to hear you guys' thoughts on the topic.

you can meet women anywhere. where does not matter.

 

[jglide123]

Women have always had the power in clubs. But with every guy that approaches them, they gain more power. PUAs love to blame women's attitudes on AFCs (half of whom are too afraid to approach), but they play just as big a part in driving up women's perceived SMV. Thanks to PUAs, your average married woman can go to the club and get hit on 10 times in a night, and then go home with her ego happily boosted.

Truth is, men pursue and women choose. With a few exceptions. If you're a male, chances are good you are contributing to this in some form or other.

Very true. The only way a male breaks the "men pursue, women choose" dynamic is by having VERY high value (i.e. celebrity, wealth, status, uncommonly good looks). That is why I have become somewhat jaded with the bar/nightclub scene. Personally, I think nightclubs as a SNL venue is largely illusory. It is just too much of an uphill battle to attract women and stand out in any significant way (unless you have high value).

 

[Mr Wright]

Personally, I think nightclubs as a SNL venue is largely illusory. It is just too much of an uphill battle to attract women and stand out in any significant way (unless you have high value).

I've started to realise that recently getting a SNL is not necessarily about attracting the girl, it's about arousing her. Guys go out thinking they have to impress her and she has to be really into you as a person, instead you just have to be god damn sexy and get her thinking about sex. Being sexy is the not the same as being attractive. You're not trying to date the girl, keep the eye contact strong, be very physical and escalate fast. The faster the better, get her out of there before she can be logical about it.

It's like fast food, when you want fast food, you know it's not good for you but you want it quickly. If its taking too long you're going to leave and look for a more quality meal. The same with women, if you're quick about it, she'll take it, that's why the same girl could shag a guy within an hour of meeting him but make another guy shes dating wait a month.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

I exactly agree. While I can be outgoing if I make an effort, I'm naturally introverted, and I have a small circle of good friends. The image I like to project, and which seems to work well, is a dark mysterious stranger. Not saying I'm all James Bond, but I like his style.

Since building huge social circles (and taking care of them, organizing parties etc.) goes against my identity, it's a huge effort. For me it's actually easier to roll into a pub and talk to strangers.

Bottom line; social circles are a valid point! But maybe it's not for everyone.

So I think the concept of social proof is a huge factor as to why having a big social circle makes it easier for guys to get a girlfriend/get laid