The Natural Way to Meet Women

[jglide123]

Why is it that so much dating/PUA advice focuses almost exclusively on meeting women randomly (i.e. at the mall, in bookstores, bars, clubs, etc.)? Meeting women in these environments, as compared to meeting them through more "natural" means (i.e. through hobbies, mutual friends, organized events, a buddies party, etc.) is MUCH more difficult and far more work, yet so many guys seem dead-set on approaching girls in bars and clubs.

I read a book years ago titled "Make Every Girl Want You." It explained that there are three types of environments in which a man can meet a woman: Naturally-Inviting Environments, Moderately-Inviting Environments, and Bothersome Environments. Bothersome Environments (bookstores, bars, clubs, anywhere in which you randomly approach women you don't know) are always tough for the simple fact that women usually have their "shield" up in these environments. For example, a woman may shun you if you approach her in a nightclub, whereas that same woman would at least be polite and talk to you if you met her at a mutual friends party or through an organized event, like a co-ed softball team.

Honestly, it baffles me that so many guys focus on meeting women in such challenging environments. Of course, you can meet women anywhere, but some places are better than others. I would love to hear you guys' thoughts on the topic.

 

[jglide123]

There are far more women in the more difficult places and the consequences for messing up with those women are little to none. Especially true if you have masculine interests that women shy away from. Obviously all avenues should be explored but it's hard to live in abundance if you are just competing with people in your social circle. Also, the person that can get the a cashiers phone number is the person that will win out in the social circle environment.

I have heard this argument before. I always ask, "What do you mean by messing up with these women? Do you mean the possibility of getting caught f*&king a girl over, and the fallout that would ensue?" That is kinda what it sounds like when guys make that statement. The subtext seems to be "If I f#$k this chick over, it will make things harder for me with my friends. Therefore, I will only date women who are not a part of my circle of friends." I can understand not wanting to date a chick who is a part of your social circle because of privacy. But in my experience, unless you just dog her out, it usually wont affect your friendship with other member of your circle if things don't work out.

Still, I'm not suggesting you have to date your best friends sister or a chick who knows most of your family and friends. You don't even have to necessarily date women in your social circle. I just mean meeting women at places/events where they are more likely to be receptive to your approach. How many women meet their significant others at the mall, in bookstores, at clubs, etc?

 

[Mr Wright]

The only issue I have with this is that what happens when you see a stunning brunette walking down the street, because Im not in her social circle I have to ignore her?

Nah, I think you need a wide variety of sources to find your women, through friends, cold approach etc

 

[PlayHer Man]

There are far more women in the more difficult places and the consequences for messing up with those women are little to none. Especially true if you have masculine interests that women shy away from. Obviously all avenues should be explored but it's hard to live in abundance if you are just competing with people in your social circle. Also, the person that can get the a cashiers phone number is the person that will win out in the social circle environment.

Spot on.

I'd also like to add that being a DJ isn't necessarily the "path of least resistance". That path is for lazy faggots.

When you are willing to do things the majority of men are not willing to do.. you gain the rewards the majority of men don't gain. :yes:

On top of that.. meeting random women is better for avoiding drama. You can do whatever you want with them and NEXT them with no ripple effects in your social circle. I prefer dating and f*cking women who only know my friends through me. This way if/when it doesn't work out.. my social circle is unaffected.

 

[USB]

When you are a beginner you need to practice a lot to develop your game ... Meeting women in social circles will take forever ... One night out to a club you hit on 10 women. With social circles it may take 2 months to hit on 10 women..

Once you have game, then it does not matter where you go to pick up women... However, if you are looking just to get laid then you are better off avoiding your social circles as women tend to talk to each other ... If you are looking for a long term relationship then dating in social circles is safer...

It's interesting how the brain works,,, when you are really afraid of something, like going to bars to pick up women, then the brain will convince you that picking up women from your social circle is the way to go ...

 

[jglide123]

The only issue I have with this is that what happens when you see a stunning brunette walking down the street, because Im not in her social circle I have to ignore her?

Nah, I think you need a wide variety of sources to find your women, through friends, cold approach etc

It doesn't need to be this dichotomy of cold approach versus social circle. You can do both.

Further, I'm not talking about dating women in your social circle. I'm talking about meeting women in more inviting environments. Has nothing to do with dating someone in your social circle.

 

[Mr Wright]

It doesn't need to be this dichotomy of cold approach versus social circle. You can do both.

Further, I'm not talking about dating women in your social circle. I'm talking about meeting women in more inviting environments. Has nothing to do with dating someone in your social circle.

The point I'm making is that guys are going to approach women in the places where they think the most attractive women are. And whilst these inviting environments are easier to talk to women in they are harder to actually escalate interactions in because of the social pressure, you cant really fvck up more than twice without getting a name for yourself. On the street or in the club, there is an endless line of women compared to your buddies party where there are like 6...

 

[Mike32ct]

The main reason guys often default to bars and clubs is try to get play quickly. In a club, you could get a makeout or or possibly ONS.

This is possible at a party, but not likely at a dance class lol.

The other argument for cold approach is to avoid social circle drama if want to have casual pump and dumps.

I support both types of game. Just explaining why many guys like cold approach night game. No doubt it's harder, but it's high risk / high reward.

 

[VladPatton]

I think you should act on whatever situation you are in at the moment. Be it a club, a car wash, a grocery store, or a birthday party. If some particular chick smiles at you and sends that lightning bolt through your wang that ends up in your balls, you should act on it right then and there.

 

[Solomon]

Why is it that so much dating/PUA advice focuses almost exclusively on meeting women randomly (i.e. at the mall, in bookstores, bars, clubs, etc.)? Meeting women in these environments, as compared to meeting them through more "natural" means (i.e. through hobbies, mutual friends, organized events, a buddies party, etc.) is MUCH more difficult and far more work, yet so many guys seem dead-set on approaching girls in bars and clubs.

I read a book years ago titled "Make Every Girl Want You." It explained that there are three types of environments in which a man can meet a woman: Naturally-Inviting Environments, Moderately-Inviting Environments, and Bothersome Environments. Bothersome Environments (bookstores, bars, clubs, anywhere in which you randomly approach women you don't know) are always tough for the simple fact that women usually have their "shield" up in these environments. For example, a woman may shun you if you approach her in a nightclub, whereas that same woman would at least be polite and talk to you if you met her at a mutual friends party or through an organized event, like a co-ed softball team.

Honestly, it baffles me that so many guys focus on meeting women in such challenging environments. Of course, you can meet women anywhere, but some places are better than others. I would love to hear you guys' thoughts on the topic.

After my first year in Sosuave I easily approached a 1,000 chicks (with over 500 of them on camera)I racked up easily several lays through cold approach as well as a dozen more or so through online dating

However I realized quickly that all that work I was putting in was for naught. Yeah sure I got laid but then what?

Not to hijack OP's thread but I quickly realized that I would have a much easier time meeting women through social circle as well as women who are hotter that wouldn't even give me the time of the day via cold approach.

However building/finding an ideal social circle is not easy IMO it's harder then cold approach. You can go to the mall right now and approach a 100 chicks but building a social circle takes time and a lot of guys on here aren't willing to put the time in, heck a lot of guys here don't even wanna cold approach that's why POF/online dating threads are so popular now a days

Honestly the last few years I'v worked on this "On" and "off" but I can honestly say that to me this makes sense. Don't get me wrong cold approach takes balls and skills. But a lot of guys would be better of investing their times in hobbies and building a social circle. Most guys I've met via sosuave or the "community" I can honestly say only 1 or 2 guys had a social circle that was kicka$$.

 

[jglide123]

The main reason guys often default to bars and clubs is try to get play quickly. In a club, you could get a makeout or or possibly ONS.

This is possible at a party, but not likely at a dance class lol.

The other argument for cold approach is to avoid social circle drama if want to have casual pump and dumps.

I support both types of game. Just explaining why many guys like cold approach night game. No doubt it's harder, but it's high risk / high reward.

I agree. Guys who go to the so-called "target-rich" environments are there for the quick lay. What guys don't realize is that most women who're out in nightclubs dressed oh so provocatively actually have boyfriends/husbands at home.

Like you said, if you want the "pump and dump" bars and nightclubs are the way to go (if you have the time, money, energy, and persistence to do so consistently enough to get quick lays). But now that I am older, I try to look for other, more "natural" ways to meet women, usually environments where they will be more open to a man's approach (museums, wine tasting events, art classes, etc.).

 

[jglide123]

After my first year in Sosuave I easily approached a 1,000 chicks (with over 500 of them on camera)I racked up easily several lays through cold approach as well as a dozen more or so through online dating

However I realized quickly that all that work I was putting in was for naught. Yeah sure I got laid but then what?

Not to hijack OP's thread but I quickly realized that I would have a much easier time meeting women through social circle as well as women who are hotter that wouldn't even give me the time of the day via cold approach.

However building/finding an ideal social circle is not easy IMO it's harder then cold approach. You can go to the mall right now and approach a 100 chicks but building a social circle takes time and a lot of guys on here aren't willing to put the time in, heck a lot of guys here don't even wanna cold approach that's why POF/online dating threads are so popular now a days

Honestly the last few years I'v worked on this "On" and "off" but I can honestly say that to me this makes sense. Don't get me wrong cold approach takes balls and skills. But a lot of guys would be better of investing their times in hobbies and building a social circle. Most guys I've met via sosuave or the "community" I can honestly say only 1 or 2 guys had a social circle that was kicka$$.

I agree with you 100%. Building a great social circle definitely takes a great deal of time and effort, but it is worth it, especially when you consider how cliquish many people are.

When I was in my mid-twenties I discovered the "community" like so many others on this site. But after a couple years, I was tired of randomly approaching girls. Sure, you strike gold every once and a while, but it is SO much work involved, with very little return on investment. I always wondered if other guys went through the same process, where at some point you realize that there are far easier ways to meet women than approaching them randomly. Now, when I am out with friends at a bar, I will approach girls. But I no longer put most of my efforts in meeting women this way.

That's why I am baffled at how so much dating material focuses on the cold approach, seeing as it has the least return on investment of time and energy. The arguments against social circle game seem very anti-social. You often hear things like "if things go south, I don't wanna mess up things with my other friends" or "Social circle game isn't good for hit and runs." I think the more mature a man becomes, the more he will be able to easily avoid those type of situations. If you're trying to be a player in your social circle, then obviously you will have those problems. But when you're ready to date, even casually, I don't see how it would be a problem....

 

[LP700-4]

Quite honestly, it doesn't really matter where or how you meet a woman as long as you get her to go on a date and eventually lead to sex or a relationship. Whichever you are after.

Although with social circle, it is hard to date multiple women in that same circle or even in another circle because circles tend to overlap and women share everything among themselves. I think it is best to be an all rounder if you can. Date within a good social circle but still use cold approach anytime you get the chance. That way you have multiple options and lessen your chance of developing oneitis.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Not all of us are social butterflies, as in some of us have very small social circles or none at all, just a few friends that do not really make a social circle so meeting women through mutual friends is not really an option if you have that

 

[denverfan110]

Most of the girls in my social circles I'm either really good friends with or are tapped out by my other bros.

I met my current plate on a train with daygame and I've never been happier. There's plenty of variety in life, why not explore it.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Most of the girls in my social circles I'm either really good friends with or are tapped out by my other bros.

I met my current plate on a train with daygame and I've never been happier. There's plenty of variety in life, why not explore it.

and you are only 20 years old very lucky bro

 

[skinnyguy]

You should not actively try to "meet women" because it leads to desperation. Go out with your boys and have fun first. Women should be low priority.

 

[zekko]

I remember Tyler from RSD being asked why his bootcamps focused mainly on clubs. He said that it was because clubs were where you could reliably find a large number of young, single, attractive, prime aged women.

I might add that the alcohol probably doesn't hurt either.

 

[jglide123]

I remember Tyler from RSD being asked why his bootcamps focused mainly on clubs. He said that it was because clubs were where you could reliably find a large number of young, single, attractive, prime aged women.

I might add that the alcohol probably doesn't hurt either.

I have heard this before as well. But I don't think there are that many SINGLE girls out at night, at least not as many as men tend to think. From my experience, women of all relationship status' go out to clubs; you really can't distinguish between a single chick and a married one just by looking at them in a nightclub (even though we think we can by the way they dress).

It is not uncommon for committed/married women to go out to clubs, dressed to kill, showing off the goodies, all to get the attention and free drinks from guys thinking she's single, thinking they can get the SNL, when in reality these women are going home to their boyfriends/husbands at the end of the night....

 

[zekko]

It is not uncommon for committed/married women to go out to clubs, dressed to kill, showing off the goodies, all to get the attention and free drinks from guys thinking she's single, thinking they can get the SNL, when in reality these women are going home to their boyfriends/husbands at the end of the night....

I'm sure that's true. But I think Tyler's point was that there would likely be a lot of single girls there, not that all the girls there were necessarily single.