The Main Event: DJ's vs. Rules Girls!

[xblitz44x]

About six months ago, I was in Barnes and Noble, researching some relationship material, and I stumbled upon "The Rules: Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right". I'm sure many of you guys have heard of it. It is a book that guides women through a relationship. It is a little bit like DJing, but for women...and it is MUCH more ruthless. So I bought the book, and studied it, almost as a counter-intellegence tecnique. I recommend you guys do the same, it's only $6.

Some of the highlights of the book include:
-Do not call a man, and rarely return his calls.
-Do not ask a man out ever, it's his job
-Let him pay, he is the man
-End the date first
-End the phone call first
-Do not reveal your feelings
-If a man gives you a gift that is not romantic for your birthday or valentines day, you must get rid of him

There is much more to it, that is why I recommend you guys read it...but here is the scenario.

I've been dating this girl since February, and she has always seemed to have "Rules Girl" tendencies. She wasn't being phased by any of my DJ tactics like other women. She would never initiate a kiss, or any physical contact for that matter. She hardley called, and never initiated a date. I understand it's a man's job, but after 4-5 dates, it would be a nice, "high interest" indicator if she would ask me out. After the third date, I ate her pvssy, but she wouldn't let me fvck her. I started to question her interest, because I DJed her exactly right. It is one of the few situations that I can honestly say I did well.

But she kept accepting my dates, and never made an exuse. She did return my calls also. I was having a good time, but took her signs as low interest and thought that it was time to LJBF her. I wanted to do it formally cause I know she has hot friends, and i don't want to burn bridges.

So last night, we went to my gym. On the drive home, she said:
Her: Have you been on any interesting dates lately?
Me: Yea, quite a few actually. To be honest with you, I'm concentrating on work and football right now, so I don't care too much about dates.
Her: I'm the same way, people just too clingy too fast. You are the only one who hasn't.

We got into talking a little more about relationships, stalkers, AFC's...bla bla. and she says "I'll have to check my Rules Book".

That's when it hit me. The reason she wasn't showing interest was because of these stupid Rules. I think back and realize that she followed them to a T!

So I called her on it:
Blitz: Haha, the Rules: Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right
Her: OMG, how do you know that?
Blitz: I bought the book, I knew you were a Rules Girl from the start.
Her: <silence>
Her: Now I know why you were the only guy who didn't respond do it

She felt like an a$$hole, you could tell. Her Rules were disarmed, and she is fighting the battle without her weapons. So I chose not to NEXT her just yet, because you could see the control shifting. She admitted she had no plans this weekend, and for me to call her.

So I'm wondering if you guys ever had to deal with a Rules Girl before? If you have, how did you handle it? Also, if you never did have to deal with a Rules Girl, how would you have handled my situation differently?

Can DJs and Rules Girl's ever wind up together? Our lifestyle will not change for anybody, and a RG's rules are very stubborn and will not bend. Tell me what you guys think of this matter...about girls playing hard to get in general, and how you can outsmart, outwait them. Is it all patience?

Thanks,

-Blitz

 

[DJTOBE]

Dude that's pretty fun, the fact you would actually read that book, I probably will too cause I'm like that also. The fact that she read it too, dropped a little hint that she "needs to check her rules." Kinda like ********, no way guessing you'd have any clue then to bust her on that.

I would def say stay with this chic, she'll keep a nice challenge for you well maybe not as much anymore and you can totally bust on her all the time since you have the advantage now. Just don't give her this website.

 

[drZaius09]

Blitz, that was by far the coolest story I've ever read on this board.

To answer your question, yes, I think DJs and "rules girls" can get along just fine. I am dating one now (although she is a natural, no book) and I think we go together perfectly. The reason is because I respect her a lot more because she is different and doesn't conform to the status quo of how girls act. I feel she respects me the same for being a DJ and not an AFC (though I am still learning) It takes a lot of intelligence and self-awareness to go against the grain in order to make positive changes for yourself-- who wouldn't be attracted to that? And who wouldn't want to be involved with someone like that? The hardest part is maintaining control because there will always be that power struggle, but if you stay with her you will eventually learn to overcome that obstacle... plus the fact that you called her out gives you a HUGE edge.

------------------
"I love you, drZaius!!!"
---Troy McClure

 

[xblitz44x]

DJTOBE: Your right...the fact that she is busted means that it's just an extra weapon in my arsenal. Things should start to get interesting. Oh yea, she'll never find out about this site...heh.

drZaius09: I think you are absolutley right about this being attractive. I am attracted to her because she is a challenge, just like she is to me because I am a challenge. It's just hard to imagine that a relationship between the two could be possible without some sacrificing from both parties, and toning down on the Rules just a bit.

-Blitz

 

[Take No Dirt]

The key, I think, is that once you have ascertained that she's a Rules gal, you know that she has a high Interest Level in you. If she continues to follow the Rules to the tee, she will continue to be a challenge to you and if you practise your DJ techniques, you'll be a challenge to her.

Rules girls make good LTR material and terrific wives because they will do what the Rules say to make their man happy.

Is a Rules girl the female version of the DJ, i.e., a Donna Juanita? Could be.

[This message has been edited by Take No Dirt (edited 05-22-2002).]

 

[Bonhomme]

Killer, man, just killer!

Yeah, a DJ and a RG can click, provided the RG doesn't expect the guy to go too chump for her and the DJ doesn't keep too much distance. Like the guys said, challenge works both ways, and in some ways RGs are like Don Juanitas.

 

[The Big Bad Wolf]

Originally posted by xblitz44x:
DJTOBE: Your right...the fact that she is busted means that it's just an extra weapon in my arsenal. Things should start to get interesting. Oh yea, she'll never find out about this site...heh.

drZaius09: I think you are absolutley right about this being attractive. I am attracted to her because she is a challenge, just like she is to me because I am a challenge. It's just hard to imagine that a relationship between the two could be possible without some sacrificing from both parties, and toning down on the Rules just a bit.

-Blitz

Toning down on the rules comes with time, and an exclusive LTR. Until then, keep everything at 100% If she wants you all to her self, then that means that both of you will need to supplicate some of the challenge, and mystery you are conveying to each other. She should be the one who asks you for the exclusivity.

Common sense will tell you that the more time spent with someone, the less of a challenge and mystery they are.

In an LTR, the loss of that mysterious air should be replaced by a form of friendship, love and attraction. Both parties give in to a certain extent and the dating blossoms into a full blown relationship.

The Big Bad Wolf

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Well played, xblitz. I applaud you. Let me point out my observation, for the record.

The best part wasn't this:

Blitz: Haha, the Rules: Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right
Her: OMG, how do you know that?

It was this:

I knew you were a Rules Girl from the start.
Her: <silence>

I don't know how 100% accurate this is, but my observations as of late have led me to believe that we are most attracted to the people who seem to be able to see right through our games, are immune to our tricks, and like us anyway. This has been my recent experience, as well as the experience of several close friends. Why else do you think I'd be spending a Saturday evening with a single mother?

Good job, blitz.

------------------
CASANOVA

"As to the deceit perpetrated upon women, let it pass, for, when love is in the way, men and women as a general rule dupe each other."
Giovanni Casanova

"As for myself I always willingly acknowledge my own self as the principal cause of every good or of every evil which may befall me; therefore I have always found myself capable of being my own pupil, and ready to love my teacher."
Giovanni Casanova

[This message has been edited by Giovanni Casanova (edited 05-22-2002).]

 

[Fool]

Some of the highlights of the book include:
-Do not call a man, and rarely return his calls.
-Do not ask a man out ever, it's his job
-Let him pay, he is the man
-End the date first
-End the phone call first
-Do not reveal your feelings
-If a man gives you a gift that is not romantic for your birthday or valentines day, you must get rid of him

According to this kinda rules, there are several occasions where we misinterpret their action. To us DJ, if they did something like the above, we usually NEXT the girl, but it seems they are doing it for the sake of relationship. As we all know, 'the higher the interest level, she plays less game'. I am DocLove loyal follower, and classified that if the girl followed the Rule Book 100%, she will be what he called 'Feminista'.

DJ cannot live side by side with Rule Book instead, it defeats the Rule Book.

 

[Take No Dirt]

From Karina Rollins - National Review

Forget women's lib and welcome to the 1950s. . . . The sad fact is that we live in a society so unmoored from basic assumptions about proper behavior that women need to be told not only to avoid talking with strangers about intimate subjects like their psychotherapy sessions, but also not to wreck other women's homes or generally act like strumpets. What's doubly sad, and likewise a reflection on a culture coming unglued, is that while the authors are certainly correct in advising their readers to avoid adultery and cheap sex, the reasons they cite for doing so are strictly utilitarian: e.g., the main problems with having an affair are that the man won't respect you and you'll get hurt. As if successfully stealing another woman's husband would be just fine. Come to think of it, this book really is for the 90s after all.

 

[mistyc]

I was at the bookstore and skimmed through the book.. What I found interesting was "Men and women don't think/act alike. [...] What attracts men is challenge [...] Don't listen to their words, listen to their actions"

hm.

And here we say "Women and Men don't think alike, what attracts women is challenge. Don't listen to what women say, listen to her actions."

Ironic...

 

[Jake Steed]

Interesting post, Blitz. Good work, I have to commend you on how you handled her.

It's funny, because back in college in my AFC days, I was totally played by a girl "friend" who ended up rejecting me. She was a Rules Girl. I wised up and moved on and got a much hotter gf, which drove this girl absolutely insane with jealousy.

One day I discovered she had The Rules, and I borrowed it from her. She was embarrassed she had it and acted like she didn't follow The Rules, and that she viewed the book as a joke, and lent it to me. I read it cover to cover. She was definately a rules girl.

Later, after I hooked up with my next gf who was even hotter than my last, after a huge dramatic incident created by this rules girl, she came to my apartment and confessed her love to me with this long, dramatic letter. I made her sit on my bed while I read it in front of her. Basically the letter said she regretted the day she rejected me and admitted she fvcked herself. I politely rejected her and dismissed her.

I know the ONLY reason she did the 180 is because I moved on and started fvcking much hotter girls than her. I was happy with my life without her. Her rules crumbled like a house of cards. I think this is really the only way to break through the "rules"--to openly fvck and date other girls and act like she aint shyt. It's funny how fast the rules crumble when they have to compete with hotter girls who are giving you the puzzy.

How I view rules girls:

The Rules are for one thing--To trick and trap a man into marriage. Period. Always keep this in mind. Yes the rules are a female version of the DJ code.

I personally don't waste my time dealing with girls who I think are rules girls. Why? Because it tells me a couple things about her--

1. She wants to strip the power from you. This is completely CONTRARY to the very fabric of women that makes women attracted to men. Women don't realize this, but when they use the rules successfully, they get the guy to supplicate to them--making the guy totally unattractive to them! Yes, they get a man, but what's the use if they don't respect him or want to fvck his brains out afterwards?

Think about it, what kind of guys are women attracted to? They're attracted to the type of guy the "Rules" wouldn't work on!!

2. Women who follow the rules want to get married, no matter how much they deny it. I don't want to even think about marraige right now. Our interests are opposite. Can you think of a better reason to NEXT a girl?

I think women who use the rules tend to be manipulative, strokers, gold diggers, attention wh0res, or professional daters. I want a woman who is a WOMAN--who will yield and surrender to my power, not battle me head to head like a fvcking gladiator. And no, I don't want a weak person. Just cause a woman allows the man to LEAD like a man's supposed to, doesn't mean she's weak or a pushover--it just means she knows her role as a woman.

Yes, this is a double standard, but as a man, I have to look out for MY best interests. And someone has to give--it won't be me. Besides, the most important thing to remember is, if you collapse to her "rules", you become UNATTRACTIVE to her. That's the bottom line.

Blitz, if you want to keep seeing her, don't NEXT her. But do NOT soften up on the DJ stuff. You think if you do, she'll meet you half way and you'll get to fvck her. Nothing could be further from the truth. Her IL will plummet as soon as you give in. Remember, she said it herself most men are too clingy, and that you are "different". That's because YOU are the only one who hasn't crumbled under her "rules".

Keep openly dating and fvcking other women. She should get a feeling in her stomach if she doesn't bend soon, she'll lose you. Make a secret time-frame for yourself. Either she fvcks you after 3 more dates, or you stop calling and cut her off.

By the way, is this the girl you used your inverse rollercoaster (tm) technique on? I'd be curious to find out how she responded if so.

Jake

P.S. Whatever happened to my "rules girl" from college? She's marrying one of my close AFC friends, who's emailed me on more than one occasion about the stupid dramatic bullshyt she puts him through. Ah ha ha ha!

 

[Master of the Universe]

Blitz,

I laughed out loud reading your post... you handled the situation wonderfully.

Others have already mentioned everything you did correctly, so I think I'll play the devil's advocate, and offer a different viewpoint...

At the moment she told that she needs to check her Rules, you had your confirmation that she was a Rules Girl.

Now, by calling her on it, you will increase her Interest Level in you. As Gio said, and I agree with him completely, "we are most attracted to the people who seem to be able to see right through our games, are immune to our tricks, and like us anyway."

However, now that she knows you know, she will most likely change her game plan. She may continue playing by the Rules, but more than likely she'll just wing it from here, and act like the "average" girl. How will that fare for you? We'll, I'm not really sure... it'll probably be in your better interest, but she may not play as hard to get, hence being less of a challenge, and you might lose some of your interest in her. But we'll see.

Another option that was available to you, would not have been to let her know you know her game plan. Think about it, when the Allied forces in WWII found out how to decode the German's Enigma messages, they could have called the German's on it. And had they done that, it surely would have created hell in the German's systems, but only for a short time until they came up with another coding method.

However, by keeping silent about their knowledge, the Allied forces knew exactly what the Germans were going to do in advance.

The same would have been the case with you. You would almost always be able to predict your chicks next move, and plan accordingly. Of course, the drawback in this, is that there's no challenge it, and hence not much fun. But just for heck of it, you could have thrown in a monkey-wrench whenever you wanted by acting in a method that you knew the Rules did not address. And then, if at any time you felt it was in your best interest to let her in on your awareness of the Rules, then you could have done so at your choosing.

Sometimes, you're better off being as dumb as a fox...

Anyway, I still think you handled the situation amazingly - I could just imagine the look on her face when you called her on it! =)

Master of the Universe

------------------
"Life's a joke... take it too seriously, and the joke's on you" - Master of the Universe

"You can never know everything, and part of what you know is always wrong. Perhaps even the most important part. A portion of wisdom lies in knowing that. A portion of courage lies in going on anyways." - Lan Mandragoran, The Wheel of Time

 

[xblitz44x]

It is interesting, because the debate we have here is one side saying that an RG and DJ can click, because they are both attractive to one another. There is always challenge, and will never become boring.

But the other side says that the woman should play her role in the relationship, and submit the control to the man. "I want a woman who is a WOMAN--who will yield and surrender to my power, not battle me head to head like a fvcking gladiator." HAHA. Jake you crack me the hell up man, the way you word things. But I know exactly what your saying. If both people are struggling for power, it's going to be more a competiton, then it will a relationship.

And this is why I posted on this subject. Because even if it's not a Rules Girl. It may be just a girl who can play hard to get very well, or girl who is an "independent woman"...they are always going to butt heads with us DJs. It is like trying to fight fire with fire.

I appreciate all of your responses. They are helpful. Master, I enjoyed your different approach..but the only reason I didn't keep quiet was because I felt that she had most the control in the situation. It seemed like she was uninterested, and that's why I was going to LJBF her that night. But when I found it out, it was a way to swing the control back to my side. And by defusing the Rules, I'm hoping she will play her role as a woman, and I will take the control.

Keep em coming guys...

-Blitz

PS: Jake, the Inverted Rollercoaster method works pretty well. It is exactly that, a rollercoaster. She wants to have "talks" all the time because she can't figure me out..bla bla. You know the deal. I wanted to test this on somebody else before I let you know, to make sure that it has BASICALLY the same effect on different women. So I got a number last Friday, I'm going to call her tomorrow and run that game on her. I'll be sure to keep you posted on that.




[This message has been edited by xblitz44x (edited 05-22-2002).]

 

[Jake Steed]

Sweet.

By the way, I forgot to mention--I don't mind a girl who is "hard to get", just not "hard to get" for ME. What I mean by that is her super high interest level in ME should steamroll over her desire to use "The Rules" on me.

Please keep us posted on what happens with this girl. I'm guessing after you bone her, things will change.

Jake

 

[xblitz44x]

As soon as I finished posting my last post on this thread, she instant messaged me, which she NEVER used to do. I will show you guys the entire conversation, unedited. Critique it as you see fit.

Notes: She went to the gym with me last night. She barely survived the powerlifting workout I put her through. I get pretty serious when I work out, I don't care who is there with me. I thought she was going to break down and cry by the end. She was too embarassed to do the "Butt Master" machine, which works your arse, so I pulled my pants part-way down and started doing it in front of her..just acting like a fool.

Her: freakkk

Me: awwww shiit

Me: you didn't go there

Her: yeah i did

Me: You also changed your font

Me: that's how I know you mean business

Her: lol you know whats up dont you

Me: What are you doing today

Her: babysittng right now and then seeing my friend

Her: you???

Me: Playing basketball, then going to the gym, then to Philadelphia for my friends 21st birthday.

Her: fun times

Me: I think you'd rather set yourself on fire then go to the gym with me again, you can't hang

Her: lol thats soo not true

Her: id go anytime

Her: for real i love the gym

Me: But you know what, my arse looks AWESOME today from that Butt Master

Me: I bet yours doesn't.

Her: lol your too much

Me: Well I'll you go to the gym with me again sometime - as long as it's ok by your "rules"

Her: lol its ok

Me: Chapter 5: Only go to the gym with him once, and DON'T use the Butt Master

Her: lol haha

Me: Haha. Well it's time for me to leave now (gotta love the school schedule), I will call you though.

(I told her I would call her almost as a reward for her instant message...her knocking it off with the Rules. Of course I won't call her anytime soon)

Me: Have fun tonight

Her: school?

Her: huh

Me: I told them this is my last week

Her: lol oooo

Me: shhhhh

Her: your bad

Her: talk to you soon and have fun too

Me: ok, bye

The conversation lasted maybe 4 minutes...and it was all over the computer. I have blocked her, and will not communicate with her again on the computer.

Thanks guys.

-Blitz

[This message has been edited by xblitz44x (edited 05-22-2002).]

 

[Flyguy3663]

Originally posted by xblitz44x:
As soon as I finished posting my last post on this thread, she instant messaged me, which she NEVER used to do. I will show you guys the entire conversation, unedited. Critique it as you see fit.

Notes: She went to the gym with me last night. She barely survived the powerlifting workout I put her through. I get pretty serious when I work out, I don't care who is there with me. I thought she was going to break down and cry by the end. She was too embarassed to do the "Butt Master" machine, which works your arse, so I pulled my pants part-way down and started doing it in front of her..just acting like a fool.

Her: freakkk

Me: awwww shiit

Me: you didn't go there

Her: yeah i did

Me: You also changed your font

Me: that's how I know you mean business

Her: lol you know whats up dont you

Me: What are you doing today

Her: babysittng right now and then seeing my friend

Her: you???

Me: Playing basketball, then going to the gym, then to Philadelphia for my friends 21st birthday.

Her: fun times

Me: I think you'd rather set yourself on fire then go to the gym with me again, you can't hang

Her: lol thats soo not true

Her: id go anytime

Her: for real i love the gym

Me: But you know what, my arse looks AWESOME today from that Butt Master

Me: I bet yours doesn't.

Her: lol your too much

Me: Well I'll you go to the gym with me again sometime - as long as it's ok by your "rules"

Her: lol its ok

Me: Chapter 5: Only go to the gym with him once, and DON'T use the Butt Master

Her: lol haha

Me: Haha. Well it's time for me to leave now (gotta love the school schedule), I will call you though.

(I told her I would call her almost as a reward for her instant message...her knocking it off with the Rules. Of course I won't call her anytime soon)

Me: Have fun tonight

Her: school?

Her: huh

Me: I told them this is my last week

Her: lol oooo

Me: shhhhh

Her: your bad

Her: talk to you soon and have fun too

Me: ok, bye

The conversation lasted maybe 4 minutes...and it was all over the computer. I have blocked her, and will not communicate with her again on the computer.

Thanks guys.

-Blitz

[This message has been edited by xblitz44x (edited 05-22-2002).]

Good for you man. You undid her bytch shield and now you're somewhat in the driver's seat. Good for you man. Peace

 

[Master of the Universe]

"Master, I enjoyed your different approach..but the only reason I didn't keep quiet was because I felt that she had most the control in the situation. It seemed like she was uninterested, and that's why I was going to LJBF her that night. But when I found it out, it was a way to swing the control back to my side. And by defusing the Rules, I'm hoping she will play her role as a woman, and I will take the control."

In which case, you are doing a great job. Keep it up!

On a slight tangent, could you enlighten me as to what an "inverse rollercoaster" is? Thanks!

Master of the Universe


------------------
"Life's a joke... take it too seriously, and the joke's on you" - Master of the Universe

"You can never know everything, and part of what you know is always wrong. Perhaps even the most important part. A portion of wisdom lies in knowing that. A portion of courage lies in going on anyways." - Lan Mandragoran, The Wheel of Time

 

[xblitz44x]

Master,

The Inverted Rollercoaster, is just another technique that we can add to our DJ arsenal. I have did a lot of thinking about giving and revoking interest, and have put something together that I think could definatly be effective in certain situations.

I'm testing it out on a few women to see their reaction and emotional response to it, before I post anything specific about it.

I'll be sure to keep you guys posted.

-Blitz

 

[Page]

Originally posted by Bonhomme:
Killer, man, just killer!

Yeah, a DJ and a RG can click, provided the RG doesn't expect the guy to go too chump for her and the DJ doesn't keep too much distance. Like the guys said, challenge works both ways, and in some ways RGs are like Don Juanitas.

While rules girls can be a worthy challenge, they can also be ultra-bytches if they carry the rules too far. You must be careful with these chicks, as they could probably match you move for move as far as technique goes.

Despite what an article somewhere on ss.com says, I can't really criticise women for following The Rules, b/c we do a similar thing with the Dj Bible, and it would be rather hypocritical for me to say that they shouldn't be following the Rules whereas it would be okay for us to read the Dj Bible.

Assuredly, the DJ Bible is more complete and polished than the rules book, which allows for versatility on our part. The DJ Bible has a broader scope of topics in it, so I think that we still have the advantage. Truly we are the undisputed masters of the dating world.