Konada
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 28, 2011
- Messages
- 1,236
- Reaction score
- 653
Give Value
Simple as that. These 2 simple words have been the biggest lesson I've learnt from my dad, @da dynamically and another friend of mine (who happens to be one of the most charismatic people I know).
Why most people are frustrated with women or even life in general its because they operate within a frame where the world is a zero-sum game. There must always be a winner and loser, 50/50 and it sucks when you don't get what you want. The woman has to lose in order for you to win, you feel frustrated when the efforts you put in don't result in the reward you want i.e sex.
The true charismatics operate within the frame of value-giving because they inherently know that giving value to everyone results in gaining more value for themselves. To put this into analogy, a VC can invest $200,000 into 10 start-ups. All he needs is one start-up to break the market to recoup his $2m investment and bring him more than that. True, there will still be losers but there will be more winners as a whole.
So how does one give value and unplug oneself from the zero-sum matrix? Today, I'll share what has worked for me so far in my life and has actually liberated a lot of my frustrations with women flaky behavior.
1. Recognize what inherent value you have. Are you a positive person? Share that. Are you a good conversationalist? Share that. For a start, write down a list of values that today, if you are stripped to your underwear, what value do you bring to other people? If you find nothing there, its time to start getting to work and really reflect as to what is your inner raw self. These values must be something that nobody can take away from you.
Personally, what do I bring to the table with women? A good time, an opportunity for them to experience their full sexuality without judgement, opportunities to grow and develop spiritually as a human being, these are the core beliefs I have when I'm out on a date. I look to improve them and in return I always get something in return, be it sex, good feelings, working on expressing myself, finding areas to improve. Every time I give value to someone, I recognize I am getting something back to grow myself.
Rejected? I'll reflect and see where I can improve
Flaked on? Oh well, there's always others excited to receive my value
She's not ready for a relationship? I'm trying to take something from her rather than giving her a good time, quit the value-taking frame
2. Mingle with people who give value to others selflessly. You are an average of the 5 people you spend the most time with, choose wisely as it fits your current needs. Like attracts like. Be with value giving people and you will magically see yourself gaining more value that you can imagine which you can share with others outside of your circle.
Take it for what you will, and feel free to add to this post. Embrace the value-giving mindset today.
Simple as that. These 2 simple words have been the biggest lesson I've learnt from my dad, @da dynamically and another friend of mine (who happens to be one of the most charismatic people I know).
Why most people are frustrated with women or even life in general its because they operate within a frame where the world is a zero-sum game. There must always be a winner and loser, 50/50 and it sucks when you don't get what you want. The woman has to lose in order for you to win, you feel frustrated when the efforts you put in don't result in the reward you want i.e sex.
The true charismatics operate within the frame of value-giving because they inherently know that giving value to everyone results in gaining more value for themselves. To put this into analogy, a VC can invest $200,000 into 10 start-ups. All he needs is one start-up to break the market to recoup his $2m investment and bring him more than that. True, there will still be losers but there will be more winners as a whole.
So how does one give value and unplug oneself from the zero-sum matrix? Today, I'll share what has worked for me so far in my life and has actually liberated a lot of my frustrations with women flaky behavior.
1. Recognize what inherent value you have. Are you a positive person? Share that. Are you a good conversationalist? Share that. For a start, write down a list of values that today, if you are stripped to your underwear, what value do you bring to other people? If you find nothing there, its time to start getting to work and really reflect as to what is your inner raw self. These values must be something that nobody can take away from you.
Personally, what do I bring to the table with women? A good time, an opportunity for them to experience their full sexuality without judgement, opportunities to grow and develop spiritually as a human being, these are the core beliefs I have when I'm out on a date. I look to improve them and in return I always get something in return, be it sex, good feelings, working on expressing myself, finding areas to improve. Every time I give value to someone, I recognize I am getting something back to grow myself.
Rejected? I'll reflect and see where I can improve
Flaked on? Oh well, there's always others excited to receive my value
She's not ready for a relationship? I'm trying to take something from her rather than giving her a good time, quit the value-taking frame
2. Mingle with people who give value to others selflessly. You are an average of the 5 people you spend the most time with, choose wisely as it fits your current needs. Like attracts like. Be with value giving people and you will magically see yourself gaining more value that you can imagine which you can share with others outside of your circle.
Take it for what you will, and feel free to add to this post. Embrace the value-giving mindset today.
