the key to being a successful DJ

[SirTreaty]

I know it's kind of long but let me give you a little personal background information before I get to the point. I swear it's not a waste of your time, and at least if 'my key to success' seems obvious to you (which it will), maybe I can put it in a way that can help you as much as it has helped me. This advice is for everyone that has a problem, whether my story relates to you or not. If you're perfect, this is a waste of time, but then again you're not reading this if you are perfect. So without further ado here I go:

I'm 20. I'm a very new member to this forum and in the last week have read a lot on this website. I'm also going through a huge turning point in my life and a lot of the lessons on this site have helped me deal with some of the problems I'm facing with girls but more importantly with serious personal issues like with dealing with my parents' nasty divorce, a father's death, and in the midst of failing college after acing high school.

I've always been a pretty cool dude and gotten along with the people I've wanted to get along with. In elementary school I had lots of friends and was really popular, but as middle school came and high school passed, I found myself with fewer and fewer close friends. The kind of friends you hang out with all the time. It's not because I'm a douchebag or such a loser or wierdo. I'm athletic, good looking (when I was younger I had older chicks telling me they'd **** me if I was older, which actually put more pressure on me later in life wondering why I wasn't getting any *****), and just for the record I've made good friends, although not tons, here in college. I just never made close friends outside of school. I was just a normal, funny and often ****y kid who didn't really have much of a social life but got along especially well if I was just with one person. I always made funny cold approaches to people (guys and girls) just for a good quick laugh and to be friendly even before I knew the term. I wanted to be popular and have a social life. I just didn't pursue it because I thought it would be weird to go up to some kid I joked around with in class and sit down with all his friends at lunch. I thought it would be awkward since we just hung out in class to see if he wanted to just chill sometime outside of school. I also never really opened up to share personal things and become close friends because I didn't really have a social life to relate to with other people, and talking about school is just boring, but also because I was insecure. I kept personal things that bothered me to myself, which only perpetuated my social problems and made them worse. I'm sure it also pushed away potential close friends/girlfriends that wanted to open up to me or wondered why I didn't reciprocate when they shared things about themselves. The whole thing was just a big cluster****.

Anyway, I've learned to let go of things and open up to people and doing so has helped me with my confidence. It's helped me a lot to just be myself, and doing so has given me a social life but more importantly help me realize what I want in life outside of a social life, which is something I've been struggling with ever since the end of high school. People always tell you to be yourself but it's so hard to know what that means and so few people really think about that. It's also hard to relax, be happy, be yourself, and all the other things DJs are supposed to do when things aren't going your way. Think things through and address your issues on your own if you can or with others if you can't. It's easy to get complacent, but don't settle for anything less than happiness if it's something you can change. If you can't change it then let it go...you can't change it. If you let yourself go on putting up with bull**** that is in your control, you won't be able to be yourself. You can act like yourself and you'll fool others if you're good, but when it's all said and done you'll be doing just that, acting. And the longer you keep it up, the longer you're wasting your life.

That's it...that's my advice. Be yourself. Here's how you do it:
Know what you want. It could be as trivial as wanting the turkey sandwich over ham or wanting to go rock climbing over bowling. It can be a huge life decision like deciding you want to be a chef or a psychiatrist. It doesn't matter. If you know what you want and you act on that desire, you're naturally an alpha male, and being an alpha male is what every guy wants. Alpha males don't try to be alpha males. They just do what they want and that makes them alpha males. Being an alpha male will turn anxiety into calmness and nervousness into confidence. It will make you a man. You'll gain respect and attention from other people, guys and girls, whether you want it or not, and you'll be a better man. You don't have to prove anything to anyone else. By doing what you want to do and doing the things you need to do in order to achieve your long term goals (specifically, work related things) you'll prove to everyone else that you're the ****/top dog/alpha male/big kahoona/man with steel balls. People are attracted to that, and for those who don't like it, they can suck your **** because you definitely don't need them. Constantly be a man on a mission, whether it's scrubbing dishes at a restaurant to climb the 'corporate ladder' and have your own restaurant some day or going out for a night on the town to chill and have a good time. One last thing...if you don't really want the goals or plans you've laid out for yourself, change them. Remember, it's your life, and as it relates to this forum, the chicks will follow. I think that is the essence of being a true Don Juan.

That's all folks. Sorry if I rambled a bit (edit: actually I don't give a ****, right?), and tell me what you guys think. I was walking to class when I figured this out and it was a great feeling. I hope I helped some people. Bump this thread if you feel the same way I do. Adios.

 

[Igetit!]

I'll be honest with you. I started out reading your thread,then when I got to the part where you said to just "be yourself",my first thought was,"Great. Another be yourself thread/advice",but When I read further on down,I liked the way you broke things down. I think you actually enlightened me a little. Though often given,I don't think people really understand it when people say to just be yourself. And besides,you might as well just be yourself because even if you pretend to be someone else,even the "fake you" will either be accepted or rejected by others just like the real you.
Good thread man.

 

[SirTreaty]

Thanks Igetit!. Judging by your user name, we've got something in common. Finally, I get it. Others may or may not see this in the same light I have, but this is a major epiphany for me and I'm living it up.

 

[hitop]

Damn my man, never heard that be-fo.

 

[Al Moh.]

Nice thread.

The problem with "be yourself" is that people usually can't just be themselves because they don't have an idea what they want. So if you tell them: "Be yourself!" Then they just do what society told them to do and become unhappy:

"Being yourself is stupid advice! We need to change and improve!"

Well, change in terms of discovering what we really are about and focusing on those points. Change in terms of improving our skills, not in terms of acting like someone else.

A man who does what he wants has got passion: He who has passion is a magnet to other people. Fun comes from doing what you want, because you want to do what is fun to you!

So that is why the focus must be on you.

Again, nice thread!

 

[Unbridled_Phoenix]

People don't know how right they are when they give the generic advice to "just be yourself." There's no "just" about it. Taking the reigns and guiding your destiny, living with lessons learned but without guilt, and assuming the power to change yourself for the better are how you go about it. Be yourself, but be the best yourself you can be.

 

[coolf1r3]

Yeah, I try to be myself but I don't like who I am. I'm trying to change but how do you destroy a cyncial/jaded mindset? I've always thought of the world as a cruel, sadistic, capitalistic place and I'm just now trying to break down that method of thinking and experience happiness.

 

[WC2]

Great post.

A man should never be fully satisfied with himself. A real man is always aching for 'more' and always believes he can do better.

You better bet women are attracted to men like this..

 

[SirTreaty]

Nice thread.

The problem with "be yourself" is that people usually can't just be themselves because they don't have an idea what they want. So if you tell them: "Be yourself!" Then they just do what society told them to do and become unhappy:

"Being yourself is stupid advice! We need to change and improve!"

I sincerely disagree, although you do have some good points. What I'm saying is to ignore what society and other people are telling you because you're your own boss. You're not going to be happy doing things other people want you to do if you don't follow your own path. If that path involves working two jobs including an especially ****ty job at McDonald's to earn a little extra cash, then so be it. Have long term goals and if you don't know what you want to do in life, sit down think of the things you love to do and act on that. If you're satisfied making a decent salary at a boring desk job, but you get to fulfill your other passions like traveling and mountain biking, that boring desk job is a sacrifice worth making, and you'll make the best of it because you love what it enables you to do. This is for some people and not for others. There are so many more jobs and hobbies than people can imagine. If you don't know what you want to do in life, or you don't know your passions, set some time aside from your day and research and work on figuring that out until you get it. Then come up with a plan to do it. Nothing will feel better than accomplishing a long term goal, and part of that fulfillment is the path you take. Doing this will make you happier, more optimistic, more fun, more of a man. The women are not your priority. Once you've got your priorities straightened out, the women will ****ing flock. I know it's so cliche to say, but you really do only get one life to live, so why waste it doing what "society told you to do?"

Well, change in terms of discovering what we really are about and focusing on those points. Change in terms of improving our skills, not in terms of acting like someone else.

A man who does what he wants has got passion: He who has passion is a magnet to other people. Fun comes from doing what you want, because you want to do what is fun to you!

So that is why the focus must be on you.

Again, nice thread!

Thanks. Al Moh, you're really on to something there at the end but when you talk about improving your skills, it should obviously be something you want to be skilled in. I spent two years at college not knowing what I wanted to do and I ended up majoring in what I thought I should do, not what I really wanted to do. I had no idea what I wanted to do, so I said I'll try this, and I ended up hating it. I didn't want to waste four years of my life educated in something I couldn't give a **** about and that I would never use. Everyone told me I would figure it out but the more time I spent in school, the less I realized I wasn't doing what I liked. I decided to take a year off to work and figure it out. That's where I am now in life. This isn't the right decision for a lot of people. I don't want to give anyone bad ideas, but for me, and considering so much more I haven't told you guys about myself, it was the right decision for me, and I felt that when I made that decision. I feel great now. I have a purpose and a plan. I've always been pretty conscious of what I eat and I play sports almost every day, but now I'm eating better than I ever have and taking better care of my body than ever before. I feel ****ing awesome. Yesterday at the supermarket down the block, I flirted with the cashier while she was ringing me up. I asked her when she was getting off of work and if she felt like coming over to my place after. Instead of leaving my phone number I just left her my address and told her if she wanted to drop by and "hang out" I'd be there between 4 and 5. She got there at 4 o'clock sharp, we ****ed, got some food, went to a couple bars, and she came back over and spent the night. I never would have had the balls to do this two weeks ago. This was my first cold approach that I actually got in bed. I feel like a new man.

The moral of the story is to make the decisions that are right for you and the way you do that is to figure out what you want to do with your life and do it...today. It makes everything so much easier. When you don't have to worry about the important things, everything else falls into place, and you're content knowing you're on your way to becoming the man you want to be. When that's your mindset, you can't help but project it, and that is sexy. I even had a gay guy hit on me this week.

 

[SirTreaty]

Yeah, I try to be myself but I don't like who I am. I'm trying to change but how do you destroy a cyncial/jaded mindset? I've always thought of the world as a cruel, sadistic, capitalistic place and I'm just now trying to break down that method of thinking and experience happiness.

I totally hear you coolf1r3. It's really hard to stay positive and upbeat when things not only aren't going your way but are ****ing you in the ass. Let go of what you think about the world. A lot of your views are true and inescapable but enjoying life is a great way to see the other side. Ignore what you think about the world and concentrate on yourself. What do you like to do? What are your passions? I don't really know anything about you, so it's a little harder to give you some direction. You said you try to be yourself but you don't like who you are. Stop trying to be yourself. Don't try to be like other people or how you think you should act. Just keep yourself busy and productive and when you're not working do things you like to do. When you're around other people be friendly and joke around. If someone gives you **** ignore them. You're a busy guy and you don't have time for their bull****.

I looked at your profile and saw that you're only 16. You are young. Don't sweat it just yet. You've got lots of time to figure out what you want to do later in life, but don't stall and and keep telling yourself that you've got all this time. Start thinking about what you might like to do now. Go to your guidance counselor and find out about career counseling and stuff like that. Show an interest in your future and these people will help you. That's what they're there to do. As for right now and the next couple of years, high school is pretty easy. Go to class and get your work done. Don't waste time and you'll be able to get decent grades if you haven't already figured out how to do that. Doing so will give you enough time to have a good social life and fulfill passions outside of school. That's really all you need to do. These few years are some of the best of your life, so don't waste them. Take some advice from someone who has some real regrets but has learned from them and wants to keep going. I know I'm being really vague, but I really don't know anything about you or any specific problems you're having. Hopefully this helped.

One last thing whether this helped or not.

How do you destroy a cyncial/jaded mindset? I've always thought of the world as a cruel, sadistic, capitalistic place and I'm just now trying to break down that method of thinking and experience happiness.

Watch the movie Slumdog Millionaire. I saw it for the first time a couple nights ago and it rocked my world.

 

[SirTreaty]

One last thing for everyone. Maintain good posture all the time. I recently realized that even though I have a pretty healthy back, my posture sucks. Google "good posture" and do a little research. Improving my posture has done wonders for me in so many ways it's incredible.

 

[Cassanova_Child]

dude your middle/highschool life described me to the dot..... this gave me even more inspiration to change my life around. you just gotta keep thinking positive, happy thoughts, be yourself, and not care what people think in the end. personally, i think thats the secret of being happy with yourself (which makes people naturally happy around you).