The inevitable rise and eb of emotions..

[San]

I thought i'd share a lill story from my kitchen.. people who know me know the girl as well.

Based on my experiences over the past 10 years with women and life, i noticed experienced and learned a few things, we will always keep learning/unlearning and the more we seem to know, the less we really know.
Yet, without the basic dharma knowledge/gut feeling there does seem to be pulled wool over your eyes.

Melatonine magik plays an important factor.

The remarkable thing in my case that happened and surely in other cases; you can suddenly meet a woman who sweeps the world away under you and you are being swept away by emotions.. because yes.. you like her and are attracted.

My last girl which simply didn't seem to be attracted by me while in the first 3-6 months being overly into me, kicking away other women when they approach me. And now acting like i'm the last on her list or something.
She never called except for the first months, she never initiated intimacy, she even brought me to her parents and family in another country and said that i would be her husband.
All the time nasty remarks (like psych warfare) to try and break my confidence.
Maybe that was her plan all along (to make a don juan into a *****, make a sucker out of a champion, like chip reese said.)
I've always shown myself to be a man with women.. if i don't like it .. i walked. In some cases i tried if it was possible to improve with her (teaching her) but with some.. they just wouldnt learn.
I was aware of this yet it has affected me anyway.
Not answering to my messages while she answered all other peoples messages. Posting pictures of herself with other guys on her timeline, and posting pictures on her timeline with her ex.
At first you meet a representative of a female before her true colors start to shine.. over time.. she just didnt have time for me anymore and everything i said seemed to disappear into a black hole.
Now i have know her for 1,7 years and deleted facebook 2 months ago.
I have told her from the beginning (in the first months) that some behavior she displayed is unaccpetable like coming home drunk at night and sometimes not coming home at all, or else i would walk.
The first times, she apologised and was really afraid i would walk away.. or at least.. she pretended that to be the case.
But because i got more lazy with her.. i let her go her way and she started to push to see how far she could go i guess..
So i was aware of her knowledge of the game but she underestimated me..
as i gave her ample opportunity the explain and correct herself.. im very forgiving.. yet.. the games continued and she kept being absent.. partying and drinking.. with alot of male and girl friend.. so i treat a partygirl like a partygirl and fully retreat.
I deleted my facebook account some time ago.. finally.
This may make her wonder, i dont care.. i feel my guts was right from the start.. now that i've gone ghost perhaps that will set her straight that her dream (me) is a man (yes, lost it for a moment) and won't stand for that.

Still.. i find it funny that although i knew she was rather out then with me.. i managed to let her play her nasty games for 1 year.. which certainly had an effect.. which was that i turned into a ***** for her i guess for some moments due to emotions playing high..
my guard was dropped (which was more easy because i lived celibat for 5 years) my inner man/don juan showed less, letting it just come over me without really caring.. but at that time still showing i like to spend time with her.

So never let your guard down..

Be like the sky..

 

[Die Hard]

Thanks for sharing, man. We all learn our lessons through such experiences, and will improve ourselves from it.

 

[Colossus]

At first you meet a representative of a female before her true colors start to shine.. over time..

This is very true. You are always dating someone's representative in the first 3-6 months. I have found that in EVERY case of a bad woman/relationship in my life, there were clear warning signs as early as date 2 or 3, but I would make excuses and concessions for them because I was really attracted to them for some reason or another. Hindsight is always 20/20....you learn from mistakes retrospectively.

A couple examples of this:

Early in dating, a former GF would break my balls often. Challenging me on this or that opinion, making snide little remarks about men, etc. Making statements about how all women are "queens and witches, it's up to the man which one he wants to bring out". We clashed throughout the entire relationship. Nothing was ever good enough.

Early in another relationship, another ex GF told me point blank that she saw no fault of her own in her recent divorce. To be fair, the ex-husband was borderline abusive, but there is ALWAYS two sides to a divorce. She told me her biggest problem was her mouth (disrespect), that she egged him on. She was right. That girl said some of the most disrespectful things to me that any girl has ever said. The belie their own character at some point, we just aren't always ready to accept it.

Another more recent girl was snarky with me as early as date 2. This never changed. They learn ball-busting from their moms or their trashy friends, and really cannot fathom why this is a horrible female quality. You just gotta walk.

 

[Brosy]

Yes, this is si true, and I was thinking of starting a similar post.

They are drawn to you because you stand up for yourself, then do everything they can to strip you of that confidence and gain the upper hand. I believe this stems from their own low self-esteem and self-confidence. It threatens them when you have it,, so they must take it away, as other women find it attractive. Dunno, but that seems to be the case.

Wow, this kind of articulates what I've been observing recently.

Invariably when relationships have gone bad, it's because I tolerate her projecting her own sh!tty self esteem on me.

 

[San]

She is 29 and always mentioned to me she "feels" her age and the possibility to make kids is shrinking as alot of her friends around her start making babies and she feels her young beauty fades away faster after 30.

I just believe it's her loss.. and the "you are the prize mentality" was always there for me from my younger years till now.

Infact; this was the first time in my life i was with a "girl" that showed so much resistance towards intimacy and communication and i ignored it really.. yet it bothered me.. because at first i knew it would become nothing serious with her.. yet.. i started to develop feeling and compassion and sympathy for her although i was aware of her desinterest and games from the beginning.. yet the lived with me in my house.. perhaps it was just for the free living space and food i shared with her.

The fact that she seemed to project her insecurities at me didn't bother me (as alot of her games did not have any affect on me and i brushed it of most of the time) sometimes i countered thereby showing i figured her games out.

It was (the games) blatantly obvious alot times and sometimes she tried more covert tactics.
Like the day i found a t-shirt on the chair saying "how to dump your boyfriend" (obviously she left it there on purpose for me to see).
but denying always.

Just the fact that women are incapable it seems to say things straight to your face makes it necessary to spot the true meaning of what she is really telling you.



That was perhaps also a reason for her to be absent and eventually walk away.. she could never make me her dog..
that's what women love.. and that's why women love men with dogs so much.. just the pure thought of having something/one on a leash and do what they tell you.

Everytime you run after your thought you are like a dog chasing a stick.
Instead face the thrower, One only throws a stick at a lion once..