The importance of retaining your value as a MAN

[STR8UP]

We talk a lot about spinning plates, and I agree with the premise, but for me it's very difficult to juggle multiple women. I just don't have the time or the mental energy.

In another thread we were discussing this very subject. One of the guys (Francisco?) talked about how one of his plates that he stopped spinning awhile back came back around recently.

I started thinking about this and it's true....you CAN pack a plate away for future spinning, if you do it correctly.

This doesn't mean that the chick is gonna be at your beck and call for all of eternity, but it DOES mean that through your words and actions, you can retain a spark of interest indefinitely. Kind of like one of those guys on a survival show who builds a little tinder bundle with a single hot coal that he tucks into his jacket. Later on he can pull it out and expose it to oxygen, and BAM instant fire.

So although I don't currently have anything that i could really consider to be a "plate", I do have several women who I have been with over the past year or two who I have managed to pack away who still have a spark of interest. One of them is coming into town for a few days soon. I offered to let her stay at my place for a couple of days, and she's already talking about cooking for me and sh!t. Getting served breakfast in bed by a 21 yr old college chick. NICE.

The basic principal behind this is to ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS, make sure you retain your value as a MAN in her eyes. If you can manage to do that, she will always be attracted to you.

Think about it, What is the #1 cause of a woman losing attraction for you? She might feel neglected and start seeing another guy who will give her the attention she craves when she feels that you aren't giving her what she "needs", but it's likely at this point she's still attracted to you, providing you hadn't done something to lower your value as a man.

She is still attracted to you, but the turning point comes when you catch on to a change in her behavior and begin to lower your value as a man by chasing her, yelling at her, or any of a number of things that cause her to see you as WEAK. She is now the prize, and whatever it was that caused her to display poor behavior is merely her excuse, the lowered value you showed is the REAL reason why she can seemingly flip a switch and go from hot or warm to ICE COLD in a very short time.

So awhile back I made a vow to myself. From now on, I will do everything in my power to retain my value as a man. And it works out great, because although you might not WANT to begin spinning an old plate again, you can still benefit from simply knowing that you COULD.

It just makes me sick to look back and see how many times I could have salvaged SO much of my pride, my ego, my POWER, just by retaining my value in the eyes of a woman. And it's not difficult to do! If the relationship was casual and she goes another direction (with another guy) you smile and wish her well. If it was a serious relationship and you catch her committing unforgivable offenses, you DON'T get in her face and let her have it, you turn around and walk the other direction without so much as ONE WORD. (I'm still waiting for my chance to apply this one!)

This is the kind of sh!t that has an exponentially positive effect on your entire life. When you have half a dozen or more women out there who you know have unresolved issues with you that keep a spark of interest, it's like making a deposit in the bank of YOU. When you throw it all away by turning into a wuss and fighting and arguing and trying to win an emotional battle with words, you are making a withdrawal from that account. You basically hand it to HER. It's like money....it doesn't disappear, it just changes hands.

Thoughts?

 

[Interceptor]

The most important thing IMO in order to maintain your Value as A Man is to do not accept disrespectful behavior from a woman.

Sh*t test or not, if you take it....you LOSE precious amounts of value, worth, and respect in her eyes.

And unless this woman is head over heels in love with you, she will lose attraction for you.
the more points you lose with her,the worse off you and the relationship become. Until she just has to break it off because "you've changed."
if you accept, consciously or unconcsiously, the Scarcity Principle, and you do not believe in your Heart that you have other Options, you know what?
Say Hasta La Vista, baby. You're toast.
You were led to Chumpville, my friend.

That's why it is so important to be aware, be wary of a woman. No matter how greatthe sex was. And no matter what she says.
You can't trust her so much that you feel you can fvck up and do anything you want.

You have to stay strong and dominant.
You must believe in your heart that you can go out and get another woman, that you have options.

You must keep up your appearance, and NEVER ever let it go.
You must reward, and punish.

You need to discipline yourself in this doctrine.
You must understand that she is continuously evaluating and re evaluating your status and the status of the relationship.
She is constantly watching you for signs of low interest or cheating.
You need to understand how to navigate this territory with her. Don't be against her, be with her, but be aware of her downfalls.
Keep up your acquaintances and good buddies. NEVER EVER give up your social network and support network for the sake of any woman. EVER.
A woman is NOT a "cult". She's supposed to encourage you and support you.
Keep up your hobbies and interests.
Keep active mentally , physically, and spiritually.
If you don't, you're doomed. Sorry, but it's the truth.
The breakup will hit you harder than a Mack truck.
Even if she thinks your "boy hobbies' a re trivisal to her, never give them up for her sake. She will test you on this, unconsciously, or maybe even on purpose if she is that needy for your attention. But the second you give in, you've sealed your fate and your worth and value, and sanity and peace of mind are quickly disappearing.EVerything is a downward spiral.
Don't believe me?

Believe this, you shoudl not want to find out what it's like to "fvck up" a relationship, and see what so many of us have gone through.
be smart.
Be tactful but be TACTICAL.

It takes trmendous amounts of self discipline and mental and physical energy to get htere. But the RIGHT woman will make it easier for you.
Of course, how many of us have consistenly been with this mythical Right Woman, huh???

I thought so.

You need to be Strong.
You need to stay aware of your right to respect and consideration from your Partner.
I don't care if she's an HB or not, a woman, the woman you picked to stay with shoud respect you and value you and your time energy and effort.
She shouldl appreciate you and be grateful , and never take you for granted.
The other side of the coin is if she is truly worth it, we need to step up to the plate and be those very same things to her as well.

Never stay with a woman who doesn't respect you.

When you do, you're in Chumpville. And when you're in CHumpvulkle with a woman, you have only yourself to blame. becasue the only person you can truly control is your self.


theonly POWER she actually has is the POWER you YOUSELF gave her. Yes, you read that right. You give her th epower.

If she misuses it, and you LET HER...what does that say about you??


You really want to be that guy??

No.
Then don't lose the Disipline, the right to respect , and your true Masculinity and the wiorth you have.
And I don't mean the fancy car, or the fancy house....I mean YOU.
Your Love, time, energy, effort, consideration, romance, affection and attention and devotion to her....
That shoudl count for something, right?

You better let her know that all of those wonderful things you do for her will be gone in a snap of the fingers if she pulls the sh*t tests.
You ARE A Mna. You already show it to her.
How much more proof does she need?
Think about that.

better rejection than regret.
better to cut iit off early, than to stay in a relationship where you are abused, misused, and not respected.
better alone than in a horrible "relationship".
Better keep your dignity and self respect than to bow down to some woman who doesn't even know how to treat a man right.

Discipline. Stoic discipline. It's not easy. It's much easier to simply let go and trust she won't abuse you...but the price is something to great to pay.

 

[KontrollerX]

Excellent follow up to your walk away topic Str8up.

And I understand you wanting to use this method on a future chick should it come to that so you can have the satisfaction of watching her crawl for your attention and pay for her crimes in so doing.

Still I can't help but believe on a deep level that joekerr31 is right.

In that you become a true mature man when you literally no longer care in anyway being it wanting satisfaction for wrongs done to you from a woman or whatever.

You just are not interested in what she has to say or even the effects your walking away will have on her.

Its like you become so focused on only wanting the quality and the good in your life that you immediately reject what has revealed itself to be garbage and push forward with your life leaving her and those bad memories and feelings in the dirt so that neither slow down your life's now present and future positive progress.

 

[jophil28]

Interceptor says it ALL - we all need to be in at least one LTR and be a Chump for the "right woman" just once to appreciate the wisdom of his words.
His post may sound dramatic and even extreme to some but women are forever "testing" men ( usually for totally f**ked up reasons ) and if she finds a weakness she will "write you up" like a cop writes a ticket. The difference is a woman never hands you the ticket on the spot. When she has written enough tickets she will cheat ,or leave, or LJBF you.
Deep down she wants to be with that same ****y, confiden, wiseass guy that she first met.
So why do men change into sweet nice guys who just want, "to keep the little woman happy ""? Who knows why. But is is the biggest mistake that we can make .

 

[insanity]

what about when you have a child with the female. how do you keep your hobbies intact. i always am in the middle of a game or doing somthing and i hear from the wife...can you grab me a blanket, diaper, etc. i always help out all the time but sometimes i think in my head "god, woman don't be so lazy...how is it when i am looking after the little fella, i can do everything myself".

geez i stayed at home with my child from the day he was born till my wife finished school and it wasn't as terrifying as women make it sound. actually i worked with bigger cry babies at my workplace than my son was..

i love the points you make but coming from a married man with a child how do you retain your manly form in the presence of the wife without coming off as an insensitive prick.

 

[STR8UP]

In that you become a true mature man when you literally no longer care in anyway being it wanting satisfaction for wrongs done to you from a woman or whatever.

I agree. But even if you don't care you still do.

I mean, think about it. No matter how far you remove the ego, you will always gain satisfaction from knowing that you hold the cards.

We try SO hard to keep the cards from slipping away most of the time that we do exactly the opposite....we raise the bet making the pot even bigger, right before we either fold, or more likely end up getting the piss beat out of us. That was me for so many years

I don't care who you are, if you are human you will ALWAYS get some sort of satisfaction from walking away from a situation knowing you did the right thing.

 

[Latinoman]

We talk a lot about spinning plates, and I agree with the premise, but for me it's very difficult to juggle multiple women. I just don't have the time or the mental energy.

In another thread we were discussing this very subject. One of the guys (Francisco?) talked about how one of his plates that he stopped spinning awhile back came back around recently.

I started thinking about this and it's true....you CAN pack a plate away for future spinning, if you do it correctly.

This doesn't mean that the chick is gonna be at your beck and call for all of eternity, but it DOES mean that through your words and actions, you can retain a spark of interest indefinitely. Kind of like one of those guys on a survival show who builds a little tinder bundle with a single hot coal that he tucks into his jacket. Later on he can pull it out and expose it to oxygen, and BAM instant fire.

So although I don't currently have anything that i could really consider to be a "plate", I do have several women who I have been with over the past year or two who I have managed to pack away who still have a spark of interest. One of them is coming into town for a few days soon. I offered to let her stay at my place for a couple of days, and she's already talking about cooking for me and sh!t. Getting served breakfast in bed by a 21 yr old college chick. NICE.

The basic principal behind this is to ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS, make sure you retain your value as a MAN in her eyes. If you can manage to do that, she will always be attracted to you.

Think about it, What is the #1 cause of a woman losing attraction for you? She might feel neglected and start seeing another guy who will give her the attention she craves when she feels that you aren't giving her what she "needs", but it's likely at this point she's still attracted to you, providing you hadn't done something to lower your value as a man.

She is still attracted to you, but the turning point comes when you catch on to a change in her behavior and begin to lower your value as a man by chasing her, yelling at her, or any of a number of things that cause her to see you as WEAK. She is now the prize, and whatever it was that caused her to display poor behavior is merely her excuse, the lowered value you showed is the REAL reason why she can seemingly flip a switch and go from hot or warm to ICE COLD in a very short time.

So awhile back I made a vow to myself. From now on, I will do everything in my power to retain my value as a man. And it works out great, because although you might not WANT to begin spinning an old plate again, you can still benefit from simply knowing that you COULD.

It just makes me sick to look back and see how many times I could have salvaged SO much of my pride, my ego, my POWER, just by retaining my value in the eyes of a woman. And it's not difficult to do! If the relationship was casual and she goes another direction (with another guy) you smile and wish her well. If it was a serious relationship and you catch her committing unforgivable offenses, you DON'T get in her face and let her have it, you turn around and walk the other direction without so much as ONE WORD. (I'm still waiting for my chance to apply this one!)

This is the kind of sh!t that has an exponentially positive effect on your entire life. When you have half a dozen or more women out there who you know have unresolved issues with you that keep a spark of interest, it's like making a deposit in the bank of YOU. When you throw it all away by turning into a wuss and fighting and arguing and trying to win an emotional battle with words, you are making a withdrawal from that account. You basically hand it to HER. It's like money....it doesn't disappear, it just changes hands.

Thoughts?

Most of the women you have talked in the other threads are either women that are engaged to other men or are married or have boyfriends. No offense, but that does NOT add value to you as a man as those women are by definition cheap.

If you truly want to improve your life...the best way is to "spin" plates by meeting new women. Sure...keep some "old" interests in the back ground too...just in case.

But recycling very old affairs or ex-lovers or women that are already taken does NOTHING for you as a man when it comes to improving your life.

 

[STR8UP]

If you truly want to improve your life...the best way is to "spin" plates by meeting new women. Sure...keep some "old" interests in the back ground too...just in case.

But recycling very old affairs or ex-lovers or women that are already taken does NOTHING for you as a man when it comes to improving your life.

What is it with you and chicks from the past? I'm not looking for an LTR, so it isn't like I'm passing up opportunities while wasting my time trying to "mack" on women I know I won't have a future with. A weekend of fun, then "bye, bye" she goes back to school 1000 miles away.

I work seven days a week. My business partner just fractured his neck in a car accident so my work load has increased even more. I'm lucky to get a couple of hours to sit down in my chair each night before I have to get up and do it again the next day. So I'm sure you can understand why I'm not exactly chomping at the bit to line up a stable of new women.

For now I will take whatever falls into my lap, and that includes hooking up with chicks from the past.

Until I'm shopping for a wife I don't see it as counterproductive anyway.

 

[Latinoman]

What is it with you and chicks from the past? I'm not looking for an LTR, so it isn't like I'm passing up opportunities while wasting my time trying to "mack" on women I know I won't have a future with. A weekend of fun, then "bye, bye" she goes back to school 1000 miles away.

I work seven days a week. My business partner just fractured his neck in a car accident so my work load has increased even more. I'm lucky to get a couple of hours to sit down in my chair each night before I have to get up and do it again the next day. So I'm sure you can understand why I'm not exactly chomping at the bit to line up a stable of new women.

For now I will take whatever falls into my lap, and that includes hooking up with chicks from the past.

Until I'm shopping for a wife I don't see it as counterproductive anyway.

I don't have a problem with that.

My issue is that you are justifying your actions and categorizing them as a way to "retaining your value as a MAN", when in reallity a MAN's true value is determined by his options. Options in business, career, women, etc.

Recycling old rags does not improve your value. Scavenging for left overs does NOT improve your value. Having the ability of having a woman (FRESH and NEW) jump at the oportunity to be with you once you are alone or without a woman...THAT shows your value.

Once again...I'm not critizicing the fact that you want to get laid. I am critisizing simply the fact that you are implying that you add value as a man by searching the type of women you are currently searching. You are NOT at all. Sorry to be that blunt and point out the obvious.

 

[STR8UP]

No no no, retaining your value has nothing to do with who you are fukking...that isn't what I was saying at all.

"Scavenging for left overs" doesn't increase your value as a man, but I don't see having sex with someone from your past as scavenging.

Spending time with an ex....yea....that's scavenging. Been there, done that, not proud of it.

But if it wasn't an LTR and you managed to keep your emotions in check THEN and NOW, that's different. In this case it DOES add to your value because a man who is desired is desirable to other women. And a man who has many women who are attracted to him KNOWS he has options, and thus places a higher value on himself and a lower value on any one female. It all feeds upon itself.

And it goes much deeper than that. Even with women who fukked you over so bad it would make you sick to see her again, you still need to walk away from that transaction holding on to as much as much as you can get your hands on. You can say, "Oh, you shouldn't care" blah, blah, but when it comes down to it someone who is close enough to fukk you over that bad is going to stimulate emotion. It's your ability to contain that emotion that will give you the satisfaction of knowing that she is getting what's coming to her (emotional torture by your emotional indifference) and that she will always look at you as a MAN.

Like it or not, we are all human and a woman's opinion of you DOES matter. She sees you as a pu$$y....your value to her AND to yourself is decreased drastically. She see you as a strong man, it does exactly the opposite.

 

[Metro3pilot]

Good post and reply's

Bump

:rockon:

 

[squirrels]

Sun Tzu said:

The good fighters of old first put
themselves beyond the possibility of defeat, and then waited for
an opportunity of defeating the enemy.

To secure ourselves against defeat lies in our own
hands, but the opportunity of defeating the enemy is provided by
the enemy himself.

Thus the good fighter is able to secure himself against
defeat,but cannot make certain of defeating the enemy.

. . .

Hence the skillful fighter puts himself into a position
which makes defeat impossible, and does not miss the moment for
defeating the enemy.