The "I just got out of a relationship" legit excuse? Lets Discuss!!!

[whosthat]

so this litterly happened to me 4 x recently within a little over a month. 1st girl at gym, had a good 1st convo not to long not to short, asked to talk some more again sometime and she said she litteraly just got out of a relationship like a week ago, and directly told me to come talk to her agian sometime when i see her and she let me know, she seemed legit serious about it, not like a bull****er type, so i said well nice meeting you ect. so i later had alot of thought about it, like so how long will it take you to be ready for another relationship wright? i havent seen her in the gym yet since. Since then Ive asked myslef i know its not a legit excuse and need to just move on and so i have been since.

2nd time, girl at gym, had a good 1st convo not to long not to short, asked to talk some more again sometime and she said she just dating wright now, doesnt do anything too fast, and i can come talk to her if i see her again, to me absolute bull, to be dating, you got give out ya num. Its not like i see you regurly!

3rd time, girl at gym, short convo, asked to talk more, said doesnt do anything too fast, and we can talk more if i see her, point blank.

i started this thread tonight becasue i just got out of one of my college classes which there was a cutey in and i sparked up some short convo after class, this time i asked her if she was single , she said ya, and asked if she wanted to talk some more later, she said well i just got out of a relationship and kinda just wana be bymyself wright now, i said ok nice to meet you, later.
so this now got me kinda irritatatied and after this it made me feel like she might have well said "you just arent good enough for me".

i think they all should just say off the bat there with someone, atleast for me i have no hard feelings, total legit excuse. they dont have to make us feel like were not good enough. or are they really honest. ive researched a bit and of course woman and men are diff , you will read if a man says this line hes looking just for friends w benifits which we know is true, but girls say in their case this can be ironically a legit excuse if the timing was there, which i can simi understand, its just harder for us to, because we are the men here. of course were all diff, woman are diff but i see it as if a girl meets a good looking and well caried man ect., she shouldnt just let him walk away. so some thought and questions would be what do you think the percentages of girls that would actually use this as an excuse due to non interest vs. ironically bad timing they really are feeling maybe down at the moment. One key thing here is what i read is that if there serious about it, then good chances are they are the ones that just got broken up with, which i could understand there temp hatred towards all men, if they were in deep love him. Wouldnt you say most girls would tell you off the bat there with someone as a nice excuse if just not interested? If this being more so true, maybe we all men should try to understand there reasoning. But its that Dam ironic timing that Gets Me,How can it be that Ironic, Is it Freaking possible, 4 times within a little over a month! And then well how long do you need to recover if I could be considered dating material in your book?

So thats my rant, what yall think, all opinions welcome. So I would say girl at college class seems like a def no go to me. 2nd girl at gym to me sounded just like lack of interest, but you never know weather can change? 1st girl at gym, well, when i see this girl at the gym im going to be utterly forced past my will to talk to her again, since she did give the invite, how would you guys go uopn this 2nd approach, i feel if she feeling me she can make the suggestion wright? shes a big girl wright, or is this the beta side of me talking and i need to be alpha here take charge, go for the takedown again. otherwise i feel if she doesnt, when i walk away leave it at that dont look back.

 

[Purple]

It could be the way you are asking for their number. Saying "lets talk more" as an excuse to get her number is exactly that, an excuse. Try asking in a way that gives her a sense of loss if they don't give their number right then. "I gotta run, my criminal psychology is in 10, give me your number and I'll call you sometime."

Make the impression that she may never see you again, not that you visit the gym regularly. Let your physique say that for you. Give any interesting reason to leave, criminal psychology class isn't the best but its more interesting to a girl than a microbiology class. Also notice that you don't ask for her number, but rather command her to give it to you. Don't make it her decision, lead.

As for the relationship thing, the girls that aren't ready for a relationship are sitting at home crying, not going to the gym. It's usually bull, but that doesn't matter anyways. Same for if she says she has a boyfriend. Treat it like a test, no more like a dare. She's daring you to pick her up anyways. Obviously take it seriously if the BF is 220 lbs and curling 100 lbs right next to her haha. In the case of the girl saying they aren't ready, a little verbal reassurance helps "Don't worry, everything will be alright." Or switch roles in a flirty way "Whoa, you're coming on a little strong, I'm more a 3 date kind of guy" and give her a playful look.

I've had a girl stop me in the middle of dancing to say she had a boyfriend, and that he was in the club. I knew this for a fact because I was in her social group. The look on her face when I just smiled slyly at her and pulled her back in was stunned, and she complied. In this case the boyfriend was like 5'4" 140 so I wasn't concerned.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

First of all, I suggest you start spending more time with your school studies, specially your grammar and spelling. Seriously, that was very painful to read, grammar-wise. Feel free to use paragraphs! Ok, I'll stop, seems like you are the sensitive type. Well, this is the price for my advice! Ok, let's rock n roll! :rock:

First of all, who cares what a woman thinks about you, or the reasons she says stuff or why she does something. You can't waste your time analyzyng every thing they do and wether they are being sincere. That game will always be rigged against you.

There is one common denominator here, YOU! All 4 of them are basically giving you the "It is not you, it's me" excuse. If you come across the very same way you've been lately, you will get a very scarily similar response from the next 30 women, without even realizing IT IS YOU!

so this litterly happened to me 4 x recently within a little over a month. 1st girl at gym, had a good 1st convo not to long not to short, asked to talk some more again sometime and she said she litteraly just got out of a relationship like a week ago, and directly told me to come talk to her agian sometime when i see her and she let me know,

Comeback to talk to her? Well, let's see. She was actually giving you the easy wait out. She actually meant: "I am not interested in anything remotely romantic with you, now, or never, so please take the hint, and don't come back and try it again."

she seemed legit serious about it, not like a bull****er type, so i said well nice meeting you ect. so i later had alot of thought about it, like so how long will it take you to be ready for another relationship wright? i havent seen her in the gym yet since.

Get those stupid thoughts out of your head. You are already falling for the literal meaning of what she said, and thinking in the very exact way she does not want you to think. Leave her alone. If you do see her, just be casual and DO NOT pursue it again.

Since then Ive asked myslef i know its not a legit excuse and need to just move on and so i have been since.

Good, you are learning.

2nd time, girl at gym, had a good 1st convo not to long not to short, asked to talk some more again sometime and she said she just dating wright now,

Well, if you take her literally, then it means she wants to date, and that is all you should want from her, to start off with. So you could have just said, "I am only dating too. Let's get together." BUT, she was not being literal either. She was telling you: "Right now I am only interested in dating guys I am into, and I am not interested in you, so please get the hint".

doesnt do anything too fast, and i can come talk to her if i see her again, to me absolute bull, to be dating, you got give out ya num. Its not like i see you regurly!

Yes, exactly. You are learning. So next time this happens. You don't need to overanalyze to realize that she is letting you off easy.

3rd time, girl at gym, short convo, asked to talk more, said doesnt do anything too fast, and we can talk more if i see her, point blank.

3 for 3. She is also letting you off easy, and not harshly rejecting you.

i started this thread tonight becasue i just got out of one of my college classes which there was a cutey in and i sparked up some short convo after class,

Very good. You are taking action. You are sparking convos. THIS IS SOMETHING MOST MEN HERE NEVER DO! So already you are showing the guts that will eventually lead you to the results you want. Better yet, you are learning from your mistakes and coming here to get clarification/confirmation on what is going on.

this time i asked her if she was single , she said ya, and asked if she wanted to talk some more later, she said well i just got out of a relationship and kinda just wana be bymyself wright now, i said ok nice to meet you, later.

This time you handled it better by asking if she was single. She said yes. You didn't get shot down instantly. This could have gone either way, but you killed the chance by ASKING and not TELLING. A better response here would be "Cool, nice meeting you, I'll see you Wednesday...." This is somebody you will see again for class, so you could build rapport and create some interactions.

so this now got me kinda irritatatied and after this it made me feel like she might have well said "you just arent good enough for me".

She initially didn't make that judgement, but you have to realize these hotties get talked to, gawked at, approached, by tons of horny young guys, and most of them have no game and do the exact same mistakes. So she disqualified you right away. No biggie. Don't do it again.

i think they all should just say off the bat there with someone, atleast for me i have no hard feelings, total legit excuse. they dont have to make us feel like were not good enough. or are they really honest.

You are too concenered with having your ego protected at all times. Get rid of that concept. You are doing good by approaching and learning. Only you can allow yourself to feel like you are not good enough. Wether they are honest or not, it is none of your concern.

ive researched a bit and of course woman and men are diff , you will read if a man says this line hes looking just for friends w benifits which we know is true, but girls say in their case this can be ironically a legit excuse if the timing was there, which i can simi understand, its just harder for us to, because we are the men here.

If a woman is interested in you, even if she only wants to "date", she will "date you", speep with you and/or be very adaptable to almost any kind of arrangement. If she is not into you, she will give you programmed/canned answers to let you off easy, as they realize most men are too sensitive to handle "Get away from me your creepy, girly man! You will never, ever see me naked">

of course were all diff, woman are diff but i see it as if a girl meets a good looking and well caried man ect., she shouldnt just let him walk away. so some thought and questions would be what do you think the percentages of girls that would actually use this as an excuse due to non interest vs. ironically bad timing they really are feeling maybe down at the moment.

When she sees a man she is interested in, she does not let him walk away. The more she is interested, the more he can make mistakes, and still land the girl. In your case, she wasn't interested, for XYZ reason, so she didn't just let you walk away, she was pushing you away.

Only bad timing would be if for example, somebody close to her just died; she is very annoyed, in a very bad mood. You caught her at a bad time, etc. But even then, that doesn't happen often. If she is interested, she will be very flexible and adaptable.

One key thing here is what i read is that if there serious about it, then good chances are they are the ones that just got broken up with, which i could understand there temp hatred towards all men, if they were in deep love him.

It happens. Probably not with all 4 girls you talked to. Again, they would gladly just "date" a guy they are attracted to. They are always looking to trade up; and guess what? Going from being alone to being with a guy who gets their gina tingling, is a trade-up.

Wouldnt you say most girls would tell you off the bat there with someone as a nice excuse if just not interested? If this being more so true, maybe we all men should try to understand there reasoning.

Yes. When they are interested, even if they are with someone, they will try to keep it away from you. Maybe all men should just stop trying to act and think like women.

But its that Dam ironic timing that Gets Me,How can it be that Ironic, Is it Freaking possible, 4 times within a little over a month! And then well how long do you need to recover if I could be considered dating material in your book?

Again, hardhead, they can recover instantly if they consider you "dating", "relationship" "FWB" material. If they don't see you that way, they will never "recover" for you. LoL.

So thats my rant, what yall think, all opinions welcome. So I would say girl at college class seems like a def no go to me. 2nd girl at gym to me sounded just like lack of interest, but you never know weather can change? 1st girl at gym, well,

Actually, the girl from class is the only one where I would see any potential with, if any. She was the only one that was slightly "neutral" by telling you she was single; but the big plus is that you get to see her under normal interactions, at school. So just play it cool and befriend her.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

when i see this girl at the gym im going to be utterly forced past my will to talk to her again, since she did give the invite, how would you guys go uopn this 2nd approach,

You would approach her in a friendly manner and WITHOUT any romantic/sexual intentions. Meaning, she is not interested and the more you push it, the creepier you will seem. Just be social and wait for the next hottie you want to talk to.

i feel if she feeling me she can make the suggestion wright? shes a big girl wright, or is this the beta side of me talking and i need to be alpha here take charge, go for the takedown again. otherwise i feel if she doesnt, when i walk away leave it at that dont look back
.

Take charge, but with a new hottie. This is like a video game, You get to start over again, but each time you start a new game, you have gained valuable skills and experience, which eventually pays off.

Yes, you entire post is very beta. Luckily this will only be temporary; the only reason I took almost an hour responding is because you have a lot of potential. You are approaching, and you are looking for answers. I commend you. Feel free to ask me anything. It would be a pleasure to help you get good at this.

 

[cola]

Its sort of like a unspoken law not to talk to girls at the gym. Unless your getting unusually strong indications she wants you. Anyway I just got out of a relationship is girl talk for she ain't interested. They are women, they always just got out of a relationship. So its you probably. But the gym scenarios don't count because you don't hit on chicks at the gym. Get that good workout in and talk to some girls when you go out that night

 

[nismo-4]

TL;DR!

This whole excuse is a light way of saying that "I'm not attracted to you." And talking to girls at the gym is not really recommended. :trouble: You're there to work out. Get buff and women will warm up and drop their ipods for you. They have them on to close off the average man who isn't that buff personal trainer. I call it motivation though, and it can be for you too. Why the f**k do I go to the gym? To get healthy. My weight ain't on point, but I am losing. :rock:

You should always be alpha. You kept showing beta qualities. The results show here. :yes:

And stop overanalyzing sh*t. It won't do you any good. Always know when to cut and run. And another thing, if a woman is interested in you, she'll make sure to be available for you. Not the case here is it? Now understand what you did wrong and fix it. That's my ruling.

Case closed.

 

[runner83]

Previous responses have already said it.

This excuse is NEVER legit.

It is simply a way of saying she is not into you. If she was into you, it wouldn't matter if she had just got out of a relationship or was even still in it.

Learn from it and move on.

Also agree about the not chatting up girls at the gym thing. That should be the time to focus on yourself.

 

[DonJuanit0]

I lost the subject here, sorry I'm kinda drunk and I asnwered nonsense before! Sorry! >< Don't mind this reply I don't know how to delete it so I just edited it!