Let me put a question to you........
You come onto this website, you come here with your questions, your problems, worries and sometimes fears. How do we answer you, how is the advice tailored to you? In fact how do you state your concerns when you post?
Give up?
Everything you ask is usually puts the situation in a vaccum. Meaning that you only involve you and the girl that interests you. You forget to tell us about friends of yours and hers that will help and hurt your chances. You forget to mention what your role is in your social group that you two run in. To be fair we also give advice that sounds like you two are the only two people involved in the situation. Sure we may talk about beware a ****-blocking friend or bandy out the old adage of "date more women." But we never really address the idea that your image, your reputation and your ability to attract might be based on a third party.
That third party being the social group you run in. Yeah you can make changes, feel better, look better, and talk like you are a king. But if the social group you are in sees you as a joke or worse doesn't involve you as a cog in how it runs. That can look real bad in a girl's eyes. I can quote old Pook and Anti-Dump posts on this one "Women are attracted to men, because men give them society." In other words we allow them to enter into the social circles they desire to get into. We provide them status in their minds because they have bagged the prize women have been taught to seek as children. All this makes them look good to other women, make them feel good about themselves, along with making them seem attractive to other men.
What some would see as an obstacle, I see as oppurtunity. How would you like to run game more effectively? To increase your personal ratio of successfull pickups and number closes? How would you like the feeling from all that?
Then let me introduce you to the Full Don Juan concept.
In a nutshell this is the concept: Social Mastery.
This mastery is not just over personal one to one relations. I'm talking about building up such a reputation that third party know as your friends and your social group do actually start to work for you. Think of it like a stock broker living off refferals from friends of his already exsisting clients. For the doubters out there, I'm about to get historical on you.
We all know Cassanova was a real person. We all know what he was famous for....no not the one moderating the site, I'm talking about the one who racked up a lot of women.(Our Nova's working on it but he is still a young guy.) All kidding aside, after awhile Cassanova's reputation spread. But still he was pulling down the women, and you would think that his future ladies would be far more wary of his motivations towards them. Nope, in fact things got easier so much so that it lead to his downfall when he found a woman that didn't roll over for him like all the rest.
So history aside what made this guy so special that his reputation for being a rake didn't kill his game? Simple he had complete social mastery within his spheres of influence. He was known for his style, artistic side, gentelmenly ways and as an excellent party host. Those that saw this social side spoke every highly of him, so much so that it was a personal bench mark for someone who could count them a favored guest of Cassanova at a function. He got you into society's A list immediately should you be found in his company and considered by him to be a favorable guest at that. This is because he was wanted to be apart of many social circles, all important ones.
Grey Fox's Translation: We all have our groups of friends we hang with. In that group it is important that we have a role that makes us appear as we are to outsiders looking in, cool, important, fun and someone they want to know. By knowing you, you want people to know not only do they have good company but someone who helps their image out. In turn they will naturally talk you up, allowing you to move into other cirlces and improve how you stand up socially to others. When a women sees you she will sees this, she sees someone who has great qualities and provides that window into the society she craves.
So we have the first part of Social Mastery fairly well translated. Naturally you'll have some things to work out while you improve your own social standing, but that will change soon enough. We know have a more interesting question to answer. Why, on why did women flock to Cassanova even though the are supposed to be smarter than that and supposed to run away at the first sight of such a player? Well as I see it his reputation with the ladies was in ways similiar to his reputation in social circles. He was know to be a comsumate lover, romantic, and a gentleman. On top of that he was known to be impossible to resist, his attention could be sweet though sometimes fickle and mysterious. Also he was a know conquerer of women. This was all past on by word of mouth by his past conquests, who would recall with much fondness the ways of this man. Naturally other women had to see what the big deal was about, with his reputation built up and the fact that women were quickly considering it a personal benchmark to have been amourous with Cassanova, how could they resist? With so many falling for Cassanova something had to be wrong with you, a woman, did not fall for Cassanova too.
Grey Fox's Translation: Its one thing to be a player, have your way with a woman and break things off on a sour note. Its another thing if you treat a woman right and leave them wanting more. Think of it this way, once you begin to build up the number of women that want you, and you have your choice and you begin to date the once insanely beautiful one's you once believed you never had a chance with, other women find out about this. If they hear that you are an all around hero, or you have been built up to sound like one, this only helps generate interest. Some DJs believe that you have to keep it a secret that you are good with women, in the beginning yes, but should you come off as someone like Cassanova and that kind of reputation doesn't nessarily hurt you. But come off like Bill Clinton and you will be dogged by fat women and trailer trash like the North Pole has snow.
The qualities that lead to Social Mastery:
Humor
Confidence
Communication Skills
Empathy for others
Intellectual but not nerdy qualities
Physical but not brute idiot qualities
Emotional Control
Social Skills
The ability to influence the group you are in
Do these things and your reputation will work for you. You don't nessarily have to be at the top of the pecking order either just high enough that you enjoy the position you are in. The idea is as you improve these skills, which there are plently of other posts that can guide on these subjects, you will do most of your work up front. Then you can ease off, do things your way and you can find it easier when you need to walk away or turn someone down, because you will feel that being there is a weight to your actions because of your reputation. Also it will build up your confidence for dealing with the women you once thought impossible to attain. After all if you are working smarter, that means you shouldn't have to be working harder to get what you want.
-Grey Fox
You come onto this website, you come here with your questions, your problems, worries and sometimes fears. How do we answer you, how is the advice tailored to you? In fact how do you state your concerns when you post?
Give up?
Everything you ask is usually puts the situation in a vaccum. Meaning that you only involve you and the girl that interests you. You forget to tell us about friends of yours and hers that will help and hurt your chances. You forget to mention what your role is in your social group that you two run in. To be fair we also give advice that sounds like you two are the only two people involved in the situation. Sure we may talk about beware a ****-blocking friend or bandy out the old adage of "date more women." But we never really address the idea that your image, your reputation and your ability to attract might be based on a third party.
That third party being the social group you run in. Yeah you can make changes, feel better, look better, and talk like you are a king. But if the social group you are in sees you as a joke or worse doesn't involve you as a cog in how it runs. That can look real bad in a girl's eyes. I can quote old Pook and Anti-Dump posts on this one "Women are attracted to men, because men give them society." In other words we allow them to enter into the social circles they desire to get into. We provide them status in their minds because they have bagged the prize women have been taught to seek as children. All this makes them look good to other women, make them feel good about themselves, along with making them seem attractive to other men.
What some would see as an obstacle, I see as oppurtunity. How would you like to run game more effectively? To increase your personal ratio of successfull pickups and number closes? How would you like the feeling from all that?
Then let me introduce you to the Full Don Juan concept.
In a nutshell this is the concept: Social Mastery.
This mastery is not just over personal one to one relations. I'm talking about building up such a reputation that third party know as your friends and your social group do actually start to work for you. Think of it like a stock broker living off refferals from friends of his already exsisting clients. For the doubters out there, I'm about to get historical on you.
We all know Cassanova was a real person. We all know what he was famous for....no not the one moderating the site, I'm talking about the one who racked up a lot of women.(Our Nova's working on it but he is still a young guy.) All kidding aside, after awhile Cassanova's reputation spread. But still he was pulling down the women, and you would think that his future ladies would be far more wary of his motivations towards them. Nope, in fact things got easier so much so that it lead to his downfall when he found a woman that didn't roll over for him like all the rest.
So history aside what made this guy so special that his reputation for being a rake didn't kill his game? Simple he had complete social mastery within his spheres of influence. He was known for his style, artistic side, gentelmenly ways and as an excellent party host. Those that saw this social side spoke every highly of him, so much so that it was a personal bench mark for someone who could count them a favored guest of Cassanova at a function. He got you into society's A list immediately should you be found in his company and considered by him to be a favorable guest at that. This is because he was wanted to be apart of many social circles, all important ones.
Grey Fox's Translation: We all have our groups of friends we hang with. In that group it is important that we have a role that makes us appear as we are to outsiders looking in, cool, important, fun and someone they want to know. By knowing you, you want people to know not only do they have good company but someone who helps their image out. In turn they will naturally talk you up, allowing you to move into other cirlces and improve how you stand up socially to others. When a women sees you she will sees this, she sees someone who has great qualities and provides that window into the society she craves.
So we have the first part of Social Mastery fairly well translated. Naturally you'll have some things to work out while you improve your own social standing, but that will change soon enough. We know have a more interesting question to answer. Why, on why did women flock to Cassanova even though the are supposed to be smarter than that and supposed to run away at the first sight of such a player? Well as I see it his reputation with the ladies was in ways similiar to his reputation in social circles. He was know to be a comsumate lover, romantic, and a gentleman. On top of that he was known to be impossible to resist, his attention could be sweet though sometimes fickle and mysterious. Also he was a know conquerer of women. This was all past on by word of mouth by his past conquests, who would recall with much fondness the ways of this man. Naturally other women had to see what the big deal was about, with his reputation built up and the fact that women were quickly considering it a personal benchmark to have been amourous with Cassanova, how could they resist? With so many falling for Cassanova something had to be wrong with you, a woman, did not fall for Cassanova too.
Grey Fox's Translation: Its one thing to be a player, have your way with a woman and break things off on a sour note. Its another thing if you treat a woman right and leave them wanting more. Think of it this way, once you begin to build up the number of women that want you, and you have your choice and you begin to date the once insanely beautiful one's you once believed you never had a chance with, other women find out about this. If they hear that you are an all around hero, or you have been built up to sound like one, this only helps generate interest. Some DJs believe that you have to keep it a secret that you are good with women, in the beginning yes, but should you come off as someone like Cassanova and that kind of reputation doesn't nessarily hurt you. But come off like Bill Clinton and you will be dogged by fat women and trailer trash like the North Pole has snow.
The qualities that lead to Social Mastery:
Humor
Confidence
Communication Skills
Empathy for others
Intellectual but not nerdy qualities
Physical but not brute idiot qualities
Emotional Control
Social Skills
The ability to influence the group you are in
Do these things and your reputation will work for you. You don't nessarily have to be at the top of the pecking order either just high enough that you enjoy the position you are in. The idea is as you improve these skills, which there are plently of other posts that can guide on these subjects, you will do most of your work up front. Then you can ease off, do things your way and you can find it easier when you need to walk away or turn someone down, because you will feel that being there is a weight to your actions because of your reputation. Also it will build up your confidence for dealing with the women you once thought impossible to attain. After all if you are working smarter, that means you shouldn't have to be working harder to get what you want.
-Grey Fox
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