Well, lets get straight into it. How can we be "liked" by those around us? According to Tim Sanders in his book "The Likeability Factor," it boils down to four main points.
1. Friendliness
2. Relevance
3. Understanding
4. Realness
He describes the factors as building a pyramid, with friendliness forming the base, relevance on the next level, understanding above it, and realness at the top. Thus, we must begin by building our friendliness first.
Friendliness
I think this ones pretty self-explanatory. The first thing a person needs to know when first meeting you is if you're Dangerous or not. If you're friendly, you are by definition not dangerous. Also, friendliness and warmth makes a person feel comfortable and relaxed in your presence. A perfect environment to get someone to like you.
Relevance
After knowing that you're friendly and warm, the person has no real reason to continue interacting with you. Unless you can show rrelevance. Connect with the other person. Talk about shared experiences or how loud the band is playing in the bar...anything! Just build a bit of rapport. Show that you two are similar.
Understanding
This ones a little bit harder. You must show the other person that you understand them. You know how they feel. This is what people mean when they feel a deep "connection" with someone.
Realness
And of course, underneath all that friendliness, relevance and understanding, the other person must feel you are being "Real" and not just faking it all to gain approval. This is where most AFC's fail as they try to hide their (sexual) intent. The age old advice of "Just Be Yourself" comes in. Do not supplicate. Do not hide your true intentions and you will appear real.
Obviously, there are many many more aspects to "being liked," but those four things should be enough to get most of you guys going.
Have fun and experiment!:woo:
1. Friendliness
2. Relevance
3. Understanding
4. Realness
He describes the factors as building a pyramid, with friendliness forming the base, relevance on the next level, understanding above it, and realness at the top. Thus, we must begin by building our friendliness first.
Friendliness
I think this ones pretty self-explanatory. The first thing a person needs to know when first meeting you is if you're Dangerous or not. If you're friendly, you are by definition not dangerous. Also, friendliness and warmth makes a person feel comfortable and relaxed in your presence. A perfect environment to get someone to like you.
Relevance
After knowing that you're friendly and warm, the person has no real reason to continue interacting with you. Unless you can show rrelevance. Connect with the other person. Talk about shared experiences or how loud the band is playing in the bar...anything! Just build a bit of rapport. Show that you two are similar.
Understanding
This ones a little bit harder. You must show the other person that you understand them. You know how they feel. This is what people mean when they feel a deep "connection" with someone.
Realness
And of course, underneath all that friendliness, relevance and understanding, the other person must feel you are being "Real" and not just faking it all to gain approval. This is where most AFC's fail as they try to hide their (sexual) intent. The age old advice of "Just Be Yourself" comes in. Do not supplicate. Do not hide your true intentions and you will appear real.
Obviously, there are many many more aspects to "being liked," but those four things should be enough to get most of you guys going.
Have fun and experiment!:woo: