Craig Reeves
Master Don Juan
I would like to give you all a preview of what will be in my upcoming book, "The Art Of Dating". In the book there is a set of 5 things that you should never do....
1. Do Not Be A Jerk
This is important to remember. Because most men who are unsuccessful with women will eventually pick up influence that you have to be a jerk to be succcessful with women.....WRONG! It's just the opposite. Women don't like men who are mean to them and treat them like crap. Insulting a woman and teasing her are not the same things, so do not get them confused! If you're going to go with the ****y and funny routine, Make sure you do it without being a jerk.
2. Do Not Be Insecure/Selfish
Insecurity is very unattractive, and very annoying. You want to be somebody who's independent, not somebody who has to fight for his own security. A man who is secure with himself doesn't show weakness over what others think about him, or care if other people like him. Constant complaining is a sign of insecurity, because it clearly shows that you are just trying to make others feel sorry for you. Constant arguing, just HAVING to prove something, etc. is also insecurity. Jealousy is also a sign of insecurity, so is getting pissy when a girl doesn't give you exactly what you want. Insecurity is also getting pissy when a girl turns you down. Insecurity is basically allowing how others act or act toward you personally affect you more than it should.
3. Do Not Act Needy, Submissive, or ever Seek A Woman's Approval
Out of all of the principles you must follow, this one is one of the hardest not to follow. It is very, very, easy to become smitten with a woman, and then want to spend every waking moment with her, and actually end up trying to do it. This is a hormonal reaction. When a man meets a woman who pushes the right buttons for him to feel romantic interest for her (most of the time, inadvertantly), a hormonal reaction will cause the man to think about her all the time, as well as look at all of her actions and characteristics as much more than they really are (this is why men are so caught up on every detail of how a woman they are attracted to treats them). This hormonal reaction will eventually change, but only after a relationship with her has started, and the relationship has been going for quite some time.
But here's the cool part....God dealt us a great hand because this hormonal reaction works the exact same way in women!
However, usually you meet this "wonderful woman", and you treat her like you think that a great guy should treat her, and you court her just like you're mother told you, and you pay for all the dates, frequently call her, and put all of your energy into her, but you almost always end up heart-broken in the end.......viscious circle, huh? Tell me about it.....we've all been there.
What I'm about to say to you now won't make much sense, but once you think about it, it eventually will....
When I say being needy, what I mean is something along the lines of telling her you like her romantically too early on, constantly calling her, and constantly telling her you want to go out with her, complimenting her too much, buying her anything she wants when she asks for it, and basically kissing her ass. In a nutshell, treating her as if she deserves more than you do.
When we act this way, we think that if she pulls away, we're "scaring her off", but that's not necessarily the case...
Most women aren't afraid of commitment. The reason why women get "scared off" by all of this, is because you have made yourself so valueless to them, they do not want to dig themselves too deep by getting involved with you. I know that sounded ugly, but it's so true...
Let me ask you a question...
Why are diamonds worth so much more than cubic zirconiums? They look almost identical, they shine with a beautiful luster just alike. So what makes a diamond so much more valuable? Why is a diamond forever, but not CZ?
The reason is because diamonds are much harder to have access to. You have to go out of your way to get a diamond, you have to work for it!
Why are European cars seen as being more valuable than American cars or Japanese cars? The reason is because they are harder to obtain. Plus, you don't see them on the road as often.
Something else...
Do not ever act submissive toward a woman you are interested in. Basically, this means to never put the power in her hands. This includes asking her what she would like to do on the date, this includes asking her if she's having a good time. This includes asking her what she thinks of you, asking her if she thinks that you two could ever date, or asking her what kind of guy she likes. Yeah, you know what I mean....
Now before you close this book and say "What!?", I'm going to tell you why you shouldn't do these things...
When you are submissive to a woman, what you are really telling her is - "I'm not secure with myself, so I have to seek you for re-assurance, because I can't hold my own self up."
This is not some chauvanistic thing that I'm just putting in this book....no, no, no! This is to make yourself more educated by making it look to her that you are independent and you don't need re-assurance from anyone.
Seeking a woman's approval is a big-time no-no.
The reason why you should not try to impress a woman or seek her approval, is because she will feel as if she is almost looking down on you. After all, you're the one who's trying to get her to like you. Naturally, she will feel as if she is of higher status than you because you are purposely putting yourself under her. Women never want to date men that are of lower status than themselves. Ever.
4. Do Not Be Predictable
Predictability is something that can rip the fire out of a flame pretty quick. You will find, however, that not being predictable is pretty tough, and actually requires some planning on your part. Where this no-no can eat us alive is also with the initial approach - that's right, when you see a girl at the bar and you really want to talk to her, but we will get into that later. The main reason that women are turned off by predictability is because it takes out the excitment that she could potentially feel for you.
You ever notice why movies aren't always as exciting as when you see them the first time? Well, it's pretty much the same concept with women.
5. Do Not Abuse
This includes hitting her, grabbing her violently, forcing her to do things that she doesn't want to do. Blackmail, coercion, extortion, any kind of rape, any kind of sexual harrasment, or anything else that you would even think for a second as abusive. Now do I even have to go into why you shouldn't do these things? I didn't think so. Dishonesty, to me, is also a form of abuse.
Any violation of any of these things can kill you in the dating world, so make sure you understand these well. And remember, these don'ts are a lot easier to break than you may think they are. A lot of times we do not even know that we are breaking them. Study these don'ts and you will not violate them nearly as much or as badly.
1. Do Not Be A Jerk
This is important to remember. Because most men who are unsuccessful with women will eventually pick up influence that you have to be a jerk to be succcessful with women.....WRONG! It's just the opposite. Women don't like men who are mean to them and treat them like crap. Insulting a woman and teasing her are not the same things, so do not get them confused! If you're going to go with the ****y and funny routine, Make sure you do it without being a jerk.
2. Do Not Be Insecure/Selfish
Insecurity is very unattractive, and very annoying. You want to be somebody who's independent, not somebody who has to fight for his own security. A man who is secure with himself doesn't show weakness over what others think about him, or care if other people like him. Constant complaining is a sign of insecurity, because it clearly shows that you are just trying to make others feel sorry for you. Constant arguing, just HAVING to prove something, etc. is also insecurity. Jealousy is also a sign of insecurity, so is getting pissy when a girl doesn't give you exactly what you want. Insecurity is also getting pissy when a girl turns you down. Insecurity is basically allowing how others act or act toward you personally affect you more than it should.
3. Do Not Act Needy, Submissive, or ever Seek A Woman's Approval
Out of all of the principles you must follow, this one is one of the hardest not to follow. It is very, very, easy to become smitten with a woman, and then want to spend every waking moment with her, and actually end up trying to do it. This is a hormonal reaction. When a man meets a woman who pushes the right buttons for him to feel romantic interest for her (most of the time, inadvertantly), a hormonal reaction will cause the man to think about her all the time, as well as look at all of her actions and characteristics as much more than they really are (this is why men are so caught up on every detail of how a woman they are attracted to treats them). This hormonal reaction will eventually change, but only after a relationship with her has started, and the relationship has been going for quite some time.
But here's the cool part....God dealt us a great hand because this hormonal reaction works the exact same way in women!
However, usually you meet this "wonderful woman", and you treat her like you think that a great guy should treat her, and you court her just like you're mother told you, and you pay for all the dates, frequently call her, and put all of your energy into her, but you almost always end up heart-broken in the end.......viscious circle, huh? Tell me about it.....we've all been there.
What I'm about to say to you now won't make much sense, but once you think about it, it eventually will....
When I say being needy, what I mean is something along the lines of telling her you like her romantically too early on, constantly calling her, and constantly telling her you want to go out with her, complimenting her too much, buying her anything she wants when she asks for it, and basically kissing her ass. In a nutshell, treating her as if she deserves more than you do.
When we act this way, we think that if she pulls away, we're "scaring her off", but that's not necessarily the case...
Most women aren't afraid of commitment. The reason why women get "scared off" by all of this, is because you have made yourself so valueless to them, they do not want to dig themselves too deep by getting involved with you. I know that sounded ugly, but it's so true...
Let me ask you a question...
Why are diamonds worth so much more than cubic zirconiums? They look almost identical, they shine with a beautiful luster just alike. So what makes a diamond so much more valuable? Why is a diamond forever, but not CZ?
The reason is because diamonds are much harder to have access to. You have to go out of your way to get a diamond, you have to work for it!
Why are European cars seen as being more valuable than American cars or Japanese cars? The reason is because they are harder to obtain. Plus, you don't see them on the road as often.
Something else...
Do not ever act submissive toward a woman you are interested in. Basically, this means to never put the power in her hands. This includes asking her what she would like to do on the date, this includes asking her if she's having a good time. This includes asking her what she thinks of you, asking her if she thinks that you two could ever date, or asking her what kind of guy she likes. Yeah, you know what I mean....
Now before you close this book and say "What!?", I'm going to tell you why you shouldn't do these things...
When you are submissive to a woman, what you are really telling her is - "I'm not secure with myself, so I have to seek you for re-assurance, because I can't hold my own self up."
This is not some chauvanistic thing that I'm just putting in this book....no, no, no! This is to make yourself more educated by making it look to her that you are independent and you don't need re-assurance from anyone.
Seeking a woman's approval is a big-time no-no.
The reason why you should not try to impress a woman or seek her approval, is because she will feel as if she is almost looking down on you. After all, you're the one who's trying to get her to like you. Naturally, she will feel as if she is of higher status than you because you are purposely putting yourself under her. Women never want to date men that are of lower status than themselves. Ever.
4. Do Not Be Predictable
Predictability is something that can rip the fire out of a flame pretty quick. You will find, however, that not being predictable is pretty tough, and actually requires some planning on your part. Where this no-no can eat us alive is also with the initial approach - that's right, when you see a girl at the bar and you really want to talk to her, but we will get into that later. The main reason that women are turned off by predictability is because it takes out the excitment that she could potentially feel for you.
You ever notice why movies aren't always as exciting as when you see them the first time? Well, it's pretty much the same concept with women.
5. Do Not Abuse
This includes hitting her, grabbing her violently, forcing her to do things that she doesn't want to do. Blackmail, coercion, extortion, any kind of rape, any kind of sexual harrasment, or anything else that you would even think for a second as abusive. Now do I even have to go into why you shouldn't do these things? I didn't think so. Dishonesty, to me, is also a form of abuse.
Any violation of any of these things can kill you in the dating world, so make sure you understand these well. And remember, these don'ts are a lot easier to break than you may think they are. A lot of times we do not even know that we are breaking them. Study these don'ts and you will not violate them nearly as much or as badly.
