Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

The Fear Impetus: Numbing the Pain, Cutting the Fear.

Ziro

Don Juan
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Think, what is it you fear more than fear itself? What is the very essence of fear? what is the worst feeling in the world? Pain. Pain doesn't care who it affects. It tries to reach out as far as it can and grab as many people as possible. Pain is why we hate rejection, why we hate one-itis, why we hate fear, why we hate HATE. The understanding of pain can clean one's senses and mind, and even put an end to certain forms of pain itself.

We don't fear rejection because you can't feel rejection, there is nothing there, it's just a word, not a feeling. Pain is a horrible feeling that can come in many shapes or forms. It crawls through your body slowly making you feel horrible, depressed, and angry. We fear pain because it is the direct result of rejection -we are hurt when someone rejects us. Think to a time when you were rejected and it hurt really badly; hold that feeling. Your brain tells you to feel pain after rejection, but you should feel a sort of enlightenment. You should feel like you are able to pull out your notebook and cross a name off. We feel pain through rejection because we assume the person who rejects us knows everything about us (subconciously). We feel as though the person is rejecting all of us, when in fact they're only rejecting what they know of us. Why should this cause you pain? Why should you care? They rejected you based on their personal life experiences and judgemental rules. If you don't fit, you don't fit, and that's as simple as that. Let the pain of rejection subside, let it fall away, you don't need it. Next time you get rejected, remember that they don't know the whole you; remember that you shouldn't make their choices your own by rejecting yourself and making pain.

One-itis produces the pain of longing. This pain lasts as long as you have the one-itis, or at least as long as it takes to get what you want. It can be much worse than rejection because it lasts for long periods of time. Longing can take up your life, it is the worst kind of non-physical pain. It's a form of jealousy and neediness. The only way to stop longing is to stop one-itis; to do this, you must realize the truth. The truth is, and i'm not lieing to you here: YOU WILL NEVER GET HER! I'm sorry to break the news, but let me repeat it again- NEVER EVER WILL YOU BE ABLE TO CALL HER YOU OWN! Even if by chance you do, you are in the vast minority of people who actually dedicate themselves enough to get their one-itis (let alone keep her). Let me just say that there are plenty of women out there, and at LEAST (yes, I know there are many more) 20,000,000 of them are smarter, prettier, nicer, and have a better overall disposition than your current one-itis. Get over her, make the pain stop, and when it does you, like me, will see what made you feel so horrible for all that time.

We hate fear because we fear things that can cause pain. Fear on certain levels is good (I for one would be scared ****less at the idea of jumping from a very tall cliff into a raging river), but fear of emotional pain is bad. You shouldn't be afraid of emorional pain, it's a part of life. Literally, you CAN brush emotional pain away (unless it's really serious such as the death of a close friend or family member). Don't try to rationalize other peoples' actions, the only actions should care about are your own. You may not have a reason for why this person did this and this person did that, but in their minds they have their reasons. You shouldn't let yourself be pained over the things other people do. Let pain be like a wave meeting the shore -It comes, makes contact with the beach, then goes back to sea. Just let the pain wash over you, don't focus on it, do other activities, you can't live off pain. Let the pain go back to the world. Listen to an old song that you listened to A LOT before the pain started occuring (this works because of anchoring). Try not to be a cynic, they get affected by pain very easily. Don't doubt yourself or anyone, remain confident, and hold your ground. Remember: YOU are the only person that knows YOU, so who is anyone else to make judgements on you?
 

Zeus

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Thank you so much for this input about fear. I'am gonna read it over and over again, so i'll never forget it. I think that this will help me very much in my quest.

Thanks again!
 

The Main Event

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Finally a decent--original--theory post.

This is marvellous stuff, made even better by a logical train of thought and a powerful writing style. Ziro, my man, if you've got any more material of this calibre, out with it! Thanks for a five-star contribution to this board.


I am
The Main Event.
 

Ziro

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Thank you, I plan to write another post soon that will be written very much like this. I'll post it when I get around to it.
 
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