The fall of a DJ......

[Craig Reeves]

As many of you know, I have been doing what I could for as long as I could to help those out who have needed help here on this forum. The only problem that I'm seeing now is that I am in need of help this time. I'm at a low right now when it comes to these matters - I've actually been at a low for the past 3 and a half months...

This whole thing started with this one girl who I wasn't even interested in. She was actually really attractive but I still just was interested in being friends with her and nothing more. We became pretty good friends but al of a sudden (as if it happened overnight) she started blocking my phone calls without warning (I did NOT call her that often at ALL). This same thing happened two two more times later.

Not to mention that I've moved to another university and it just doesn't seem like I am finding a woman that I am compatible with up here. It seems as if they're either taken, not my type, not interested in getting to know me no matter what I do or say because I just moved there, or even in the worst case scenario, white girls feeling threatened and uncomfortable because a black guy is actually talking to them.

I guess I'm at the point now of just asking for you guys' support. I honestly do not feel like a DJ anymore. I feel like a loser who's been wasting his time and there's nothing I can do about it. Sure I could go out, get phone numbers and the like. But what use is that if the woman will just all of a sudden stop liking me? I could even go out on dates....but what good is that if I'm certain that none of the women that I date will work for me?

I know I'm a DJ, but I just don't feel like one...

There's no need for me to read the DJ bible...not only did I write a lot of it but I already know all of the principles this site teaches - it's just that none of them are working for me and I'm just not getting the results I would like.

 

[tristan22]

What's wrong with black girls?

 

[wind20mph]

I was wondering if you could change your beleifs men. For a start, groom yourself and for GOD's sake please stop being needy. That won't do you any good. Women flake out with two things, either testing you or not attracted to you.

 

[LIME!]

I'm white and I like black girls. Anyway, the point is to have fun with girls. I'm sure you would say that yourself. Hope you feel better.

 

[the12thplanet]

im sorry to hear about this man. i guess the only thing to do is focus on improving yourself in the interests that make you more attractive.

also, with the whole white girl afraid of black guy thing, try to look at a few things. first of all, what is your dress style? if its ghetto/gansta/thug or whatever you might wanna try changing to preppy or something like that. also, little things like smiling a bit more might make them less intimidated.

best of luck

 

[Inquire]

jsut got to be patience fo the right one?

 

[NINJA PIMP]

Don't be so hard on yourself, we have all been there and back so there is no point in beating yourself over the head. The game is the same no matter where you go, though some of the details vary depending on your environment. It sounds to me like your self-esteem took a big hit and this is why you have not been getting your usual response from the ladies...they can smell that sort of thing. This girl rejected you for no apparent reason and it is eating you up. Until you deal with these feelings of inadequacy, your game will stink of desperation.

If I were you, I would try to just make some friends for now. Nurse that broken heart until you start feeling like your old self again...and you will, believe me! This is just a phase...think of it as growing pains. It hurts now but you will be a better man for it later on. Heartache is good for the soul because it forces us to really examine who we are, what we want out of life and how we should get it. In the meantime, devote yourself to the things that make you happy. Learn to forgive, love and accept who you are, for this is the foundation of a true player.

Game Reset

 

[penkitten]

"reeves, shake it off ", said the coach.

 

[RaWBLooD]

Originally posted by penkitten
"reeves, shake it off ", said the coach.

hahaha.

 

[Koplover]

Seriously, if you hit on woman in this state its gonna have a snow ball effect cause of your low confidence man. Get back to basics, do **** you love to do. Being at a new college im assuming you havent really settled, got any drinking buddys etc??? I would suggest just engrossing yourself in something that makes you happy, wether it be a sport, computer gaming, writing, reading whatever, find some ppl who love doing that as well and hang out, doesnt have to be woman. Build your confidence back up and get happy with yourself. Then get back in the game.

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

Stop basing your happiness and well being on wether or not you have a woman. That is poison to the brain.

Like others have said, get out and do stuff you love. Get so caught up in living your life that you don't even hardly want a GF, because she would take away from your great life.

That's what i did, and guess what? I have 4 hot girls after me, right now.

Back a few months ago, i was out getting numbers and trying to set up dates with chicks, and everything fell apart. I was doing it almost out of pure loneliness I hit a low, much like you have and instead of wallowing in it, I realised I was battling my ego. It needed it's fix, and I stopeed listening to it.

Now, I'm 100% focused on my band and my music that women don't even really matter. And of course, the catch22 is that now some of them are practically busting down my door, to get with me...... and guess what? I don't care. I've grown to distrust their motives, and need alot of space to rebuild what my Ex GF took out of me.


Of course I still get laid alot, but it never gets in the way of my plans. Live your life, and when you can be 100% happy as a single guy, you're ready for a girl.

 

[Jariel]

I totally agree with many of the replies. I have had some real low points like this too. After breaking up with a girlfriend a while back I felt so desperate, so low and I couldn't even get eye contact in clubs, which dragged me even lower.

What I did to overcome it was to set aside precisely 1 month of celebacy where I would not chat up women, look at women or even think about women. During that month I decided to get myself in order and learn to appreciate my alone time. I played a few computer games, did some reading and studying, went for solitary walks in the park and it did me so much good.

It got to the point where I realised I don't need women to enjoy life, and that mentality has stuck with me. I think you may just need to step out of "the game" for a while to get yourself in order.

 

[Craig Reeves]

I thank you all so much for the supportive comments. And because of you guys' support, I'm back to my old DJ self again.

I learned quite a bit from being in this low position. I learned how to deal with consistant rejection and now I can teach it to others.