the difference between showing interest and showing feelings

whir

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 28, 2006
Messages
36
Reaction score
0
guys kinda confuced here..every one is saying and actually I personally witnesed that showing yourf eelings to the girls in early stage is a big NO NO!...

but its a big rule of thumb that the begining of the game called attraction starts from showing you have the interest to a certain girl...

Now how can you show your interseted whitout showing that you feelings for her...

kind confuced here hope som1 could explain it to me like im a grade 2 pupil...

thanx guys
 

ChemicalBurn

New Member
Joined
Nov 22, 2006
Messages
9
Reaction score
0
In my humble opinion...

You should show intrest in a girl that you like by touching her, some say that by telling her that she is pretty and so on.

And when you are going to show her your feeling you will say that you love her... even you almost don't know this girl.

See the difference?
 

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,514
Reaction score
62
Location
Galt's Gulch
Showing interest is all about her.

Showing feelings is all about you.
 

sexy_kuta

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 1, 2006
Messages
1,080
Reaction score
10
Age
33
Location
NY
Francisco d'Anconia said:
Showing interest is all about her.

Showing feelings is all about you.
x2!!

i wouldnt worry about feelings until u are both commited and i would DEFINTLY not show ur feelings all at once.. start off slow.. like 3 months into the relationship. u can call her up in the morning just to hear her voice...
show her that u care by being there for her. but dont say "i love u" that sheit is overated. this isnt hollywood... u can show her that u love her by actions. not words.

but in the beginning u are right. do not show feelings. u can scare the girl off OR give her the advantage OF U. in otherwords she might play u and fuk u over because she knows that she got u by the ropes

showing interest is different.. it means "hey u look pretty. let me get to know u"

showing feelings is "wow i never met anyone like you.. you put butter flies in my stomach"

big difference.. FOR ME. i learned the hard way. i suffered. and learned from my mistakes.. i'd never show my feelings until maybe 3-4 months into the COMMITED relationship.

tip: after the first date.. always show interest but make sure her interest level is a lil higher...

always.. keep ur interest level lower than hers. this gives u the power, and with power, u get respect
 

kyphan

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 11, 2006
Messages
216
Reaction score
0
Another simple way of looking at it:

Showing interest is going for the number, asking her out, finding out more about HER, and showing her that you are enjoying your time together.

"Showing" feelings is telling her what you think and how you feel. You don't show anything, you give your hand away with your flapping lips. If you tell her anything about yourself, don't let it be your feelings until she's told you how she feels - and even then, be cautious.
 

BigBang11

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 19, 2006
Messages
12
Reaction score
0
sexy_kuta said:
x2!!

i wouldnt worry about feelings until u are both commited and i would DEFINTLY not show ur feelings all at once.. start off slow.. like 3 months into the relationship. u can call her up in the morning just to hear her voice...
show her that u care by being there for her. but dont say "i love u" that sheit is overated. this isnt hollywood... u can show her that u love her by actions. not words.

but in the beginning u are right. do not show feelings. u can scare the girl off OR give her the advantage OF U. in otherwords she might play u and fuk u over because she knows that she got u by the ropes

showing interest is different.. it means "hey u look pretty. let me get to know u"

showing feelings is "wow i never met anyone like you.. you put butter flies in my stomach"
big difference.. FOR ME. i learned the hard way. i suffered. and learned from my mistakes.. i'd never show my feelings until maybe 3-4 months into the COMMITED relationship.

tip: after the first date.. always show interest but make sure her interest level is a lil higher...

always.. keep ur interest level lower than hers. this gives u the power, and with power, u get respect
!!!!!!!! i said that to a girl!!!! but she said it back!!! ^**(&!!!!!!!!!!! :(
 

whir

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 28, 2006
Messages
36
Reaction score
0
sexy_kuta said:
x2!!

i wouldnt worry about feelings until u are both commited and i would DEFINTLY not show ur feelings all at once.. start off slow.. like 3 months into the relationship. u can call her up in the morning just to hear her voice...
show her that u care by being there for her. but dont say "i love u" that sheit is overated. this isnt hollywood... u can show her that u love her by actions. not words.

but in the beginning u are right. do not show feelings. u can scare the girl off OR give her the advantage OF U. in otherwords she might play u and fuk u over because she knows that she got u by the ropes

showing interest is different.. it means "hey u look pretty. let me get to know u"

showing feelings is "wow i never met anyone like you.. you put butter flies in my stomach"

big difference.. FOR ME. i learned the hard way. i suffered. and learned from my mistakes.. i'd never show my feelings until maybe 3-4 months into the COMMITED relationship.

tip: after the first date.. always show interest but make sure her interest level is a lil higher...

always.. keep ur interest level lower than hers. this gives u the power, and with power, u get respect

A lot of good points to this tread...So its ok to show you care for her?...Because I think I must show to her what is it like to be his guy in the future without spilling it out that I want to have a relationship with her..Like making her comfortable puuting my hand to her arm, guide her etc, but at trha same time keeping my mistery and intentions.
 

DarkLight

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 21, 2005
Messages
620
Reaction score
4
Age
43
Location
SoCal
Good sh!t.
Let me clarify a point though, in regards to expressing feelings.

You can tell her how she makes you feel physically. (I.E. your skin feels sexy smooth baby)
But emotions, she has you by the balls. (I.E. Your greatest thing thats ever happened to me)

Emotions are for the slow building process of dating into LTR and on.
 

SubSoniq

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 7, 2006
Messages
19
Reaction score
0
this may seem a little offtopic, but it relates to the showing interest/feelings idea... once classes start up again next week, i know for sure at least one girl i'm gaming in one of my classes will ask me if i missed her. I know this because before she left, i told her to try not to miss me too much, and that it will be hard, but i'm sure she can make it, and she came back and kinda said the same thing, "don't miss me too much, you will survive, i hope", so anyway, whats the best way to respond? would saying "yes i missed you" be considered showing feelings or interest (an AFC move or not), or would a more sarcastic remark do better, for example...."eh, not really" (followed by a smile)
 

Ripper

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 9, 2006
Messages
347
Reaction score
3
SubSoniq said:
this may seem a little offtopic, but it relates to the showing interest/feelings idea... once classes start up again next week, i know for sure at least one girl i'm gaming in one of my classes will ask me if i missed her. I know this because before she left, i told her to try not to miss me too much, and that it will be hard, but i'm sure she can make it, and she came back and kinda said the same thing, "don't miss me too much, you will survive, i hope", so anyway, whats the best way to respond? would saying "yes i missed you" be considered showing feelings or interest (an AFC move or not), or would a more sarcastic remark do better, for example...."eh, not really" (followed by a smile)
I had this done to me recently I went completely overboard when she asked me if i missed her. It seemed to do the trick. e.g.'Hey stop, teasing...etc.'. Exaggerate to the max and she'll get the point.
 

Quiksilver

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 30, 2006
Messages
2,855
Reaction score
55
would saying "yes i missed you" be considered showing feelings or interest (an AFC move or not), or would a more sarcastic remark do better, for example...."eh, not really" (followed by a smile)
completely ignore her when she says "miss me?", she'll try to talk to you afterwards for sure. say "excuse me? who are you?"
 

sexy_kuta

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 1, 2006
Messages
1,080
Reaction score
10
Age
33
Location
NY
whir said:
A lot of good points to this tread...So its ok to show you care for her?...Because I think I must show to her what is it like to be his guy in the future without spilling it out that I want to have a relationship with her..Like making her comfortable puuting my hand to her arm, guide her etc, but at trha same time keeping my mistery and intentions.
of course. show that u care for her.. when i dating, and seeing my girl

everytime she would go out on a late night with a few gfs i would tell her to phone me once she gets home so i know she got home safe.. sometimes she would call me at 3am and the phone convers would last 5 secs..

'hey im home"

"nice u got home safe? had fun?"

"yeh"
"aight then i talk to u later"

**hung up**

always keep your mistery and intentions.. never tell ur girl everything about u. always keep her curious :).. like i know what u mean i wondered the same ****.. just do ur own thing, show interest. dont act aloof, but make sure ur interest level is always a lil lower than hers.. try to keep the calls limited. if u are calling her more than she is calling u. theres a problem.. let her call mostly.. u should maybe call like twice 3 times a week.. other times she would be calling..

as time goes by and the relationships starts to settle then u can reveal urself.. act more of yourself.. call her whenever u want too.. take her places she wants to go.. u know.. theres no such thing as a guideline. but its more of how comfortable both of you feel..

only reason you would act this way is to protect yourself. u dont know this girl. u dont know how many guys she cheated. u dont know if shes on the rebound.. u dont know if shes a gold digger. or a attention hor.. always keep yourself on your toes.. look out for clues.. girls are always fuk up and leave out clues.. like for an example this girl i met a month ago i started talkin to her on msn, she seemed good cuz she "goes" to a private school.. then she told me she got no cellphone and her dad flips out when guys call her house.. so im like ok thats fuked up.. then i caught her red handed.. i asked which area she lived in. she told me westend.. 2 weeks later i asked the same ****.. she told me northend.. so i called her out.. then she made the dummbest excuse which was.. her sister was online and she said that.. im like yup. u a dumb hoe then she fliped out cuz she knew she was wrong.. i stayed calm, that even pissed her off more.. but u got the idea..

you're probably young so keep ur eyes open.. and remember. things work out for a reason.. if u two dont last. then it was ment to be like that. so learn from your mistakes. best tip i can give you
 

Delta

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 3, 2005
Messages
725
Reaction score
4
Age
50
Location
glendale, ca
this is a really good distinction. brilliant. the explanation is weak but the concept is so strong that articulating it was enough.

showing interest means you are the operator. you're coming from a place of strength.

showing feelings is the equivalent of begging. you're saying "this is me, love me!" and that's coming from a place of weakness and is ridiculous.

good stuff.

delta
 

nvictor

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 14, 2005
Messages
212
Reaction score
1
Location
Fredericksburg
showing feelings is the equivalent of begging
I don't agree. That's just not human. Remember PUA are humans.
That's the moment you get really serious. If you can't delegate
someone.
 

Bible_Belt

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
17,006
Reaction score
5,604
Age
48
Location
midwestern cow field 40
Showing interest makes her guess at your feelings. Showing your feelings makes her stop guessing and become bored. Women want to play the mental game of 'he loves me, he loves me not.' Showing interest gets that game going, but not showing feelings keeps it going.
 

lougv22

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 26, 2006
Messages
31
Reaction score
0
Bible_Belt said:
Showing interest makes her guess at your feelings. Showing your feelings makes her stop guessing and become bored. Women want to play the mental game of 'he loves me, he loves me not.' Showing interest gets that game going, but not showing feelings keeps it going.
yes, Bible_Belt, that's one of the smartest things I ever read on this board. Good topic!
 

thekhris

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 27, 2006
Messages
65
Reaction score
0
showing feelings - Im thinking about you everyday..
showing interested - you gotta be kidin you like dogs too! whats yuore dogs name?

showing feelings - I miss you so much...
showing interested - you know what?i think you miss me...

showing feelings - Youre the most amazing woamn I ever met..
showing interested - Its fun to have you around...

showing feelings - Im crazy about you
showing interested - (just looking to her eyes suductively while smiling and not saying a word)
 
Top