The crying jerk

[backbreaker]

a few days ago on this forum i posted about a chinese girl friend of my wife's friend who is going back and forward between 2 guys one her ex husband and the other a friend of mine. anyway something happened last night that i found pretty interesting/intriguing beucase it confirmed my belief that Jerk's are nothing but extroverted AFC's.

Anyway, she had been going back and forward and the girl is crazy about the ex husband still and the dude is just doing dope (literately), ****ing skanks and just having the i dont' give a **** attitude about her.

so, yesterday the chinese girl has a moment of clarity and says you know what.. **** this **** lol. I'm seriously done. she went ghost on him.. well as ghost as you can go when the guy is the father of your child but you get the point. she even moved home with her mom to try to just get away from the ex husband, much to my friends dismay who is "sticking by her" in all this.

so the dope head ex husband then proceeds to do his best carl thomas impersonation, and is crying like a little ***** and is breaking **** and goes on this epic bender because he "can't handle the pain of being without her" and i'm thinking well **** you brought this on yourself buddy. WTF do you want. And why everyone calls ****ing backbreaker when someone is ****ing up drugs I dont' know but I'm captain save an addict or some ****. . I mean, this dude is tore up. tore up, high, emotional, about as AFC as an AFC can get.

and at that point looking at him it hit me.. this dude, can't live without this girl. in his mind at least he can't. he can put on the i don't give a **** facade, but it's just that. This dude is a little father along than most AFCs beucase somewhere he realized that if you treat certain girls like **** they somehow get off on it, but at the end of the day, he has the exact same problem as the BETA afc has as in he can't see his life without this girl.

It also hit home what girls see in jerks... this dude, for this chick has hit the perfect balance of emotinoal jerk.. he's a jerk to her but then has outbursts of effection and it pulls her in. she gets off on the excitement it's a chemical rush. Now mind you, this isn't the type of chick i would persnoally take seriously nor would i advise you to do so either, but i see it now. I can see why she's so wrapped up in him he's a drug to her. If it weren't for the son she'd be getting high with him right now most likely.

I thought it was interesting to see it play out first hand. everyone talks about being a jerk but looking at this dude i don't see why people would have an interest in just putting makeup over a problem like he has versus actually developing inner game and becoming a guy whose life just doesn't revolve around the approval of a woman regardless.

 

[samspade]

Some guys are emotionally manic, which can work to their benefit and their detriment. The guy can be a confident a-hole on minute and an angry a-hole the next. My guess is either it unintentionally attracts women who feed off the emotional roller coaster, or the guy develops push-pull patterns after seeing them work. Then when the don't work he pushes/pulls more and more til he hits the extremes.

Another variable is the state of the woman. A younger woman might be more inclined to babysit a an emo guy or try to fix him. Now that this woman has a child, she's probably now weighing the drama rush (which she enjoys) with the type of environment her kid will be exposed to. As you explained.

Naturally since she went radio silent, he's the one feeling the rejection, so he's panicking over not having him in her life. Of course drugs and an overall stunted maturity will influence his crybaby behavior.

You're right, it is a kind of sub-type, though I don't believe he's the "jerk" who's internalized game or was ever a 100% natural. That is, he's not running "jerk game." Sometimes his crap works, sometimes it blows up in his face because he can't handle it.

 

[st_99]

its little boy behavior.

want what you cant have, dont want it when you have it.

cry and throw tantrums.

we're supposed to get this stuff worked out of our system by 25ish id say at the latest but some take longer
than others. i gotta admit, it took me a while. lol.

 

[bish0p]

I knew a guy at one time who was a tough guy (looked the part too because he was big and had a shaved head, and always wore wife beaters), who was in the military, got into fights and was just very extroverted.

Well, apparently, he had asked his future wife out, but she rejected him. Then he cried like a baby, begging her to be with him, telling her that he couldn't live without her, etc.

Sometime later, he's showing me the pregnancy tape with the same girl.

 

[AW1983]

Yeah I knew a guy like this a couple years ago. Not a friend, but just a guy I knew from around town. Fairly big dude, tattoos, etc. He was putting his gf of 3 years through all kinds of nonsense, telling her he was "maybe going to break up with her in a week but he wasn't sure" etc. She finally had enough and dumped him. Once the script was flipped on him he didn't know what to do. He was sending her text photos of his bleeding wrists he had cut and all kinds of other foolishness. I know this because I was hooking up with her pretty quickly after they broke up. When the guy heard we'd been seen together he got my number and left me a 3 minute voicemail about how he was going to kick my ass next time he saw me, etc, etc.

Well next time I saw him I walked right up to him and he was like "oh dude, can we talk for a sec", and I said "sure" but I was prepared to throw down any second haha. Then he starts apologizing to me profusely for the voicemail and whatever else and telling me he was just real upset. I respected his honesty, but yeah - some guys just veil their insecurities with the jerk/bad-boy persona, and it crumbles when they hit some unexpected emotional turbulence.