The Classic RoadBlock...Persistance or Desperation?

[Pimp-sicle]

Got a little bit of a situation on my hands.....LOL I could make this short and to the point, but I'm a story teller so that will be hard to accomplish.

Ok so here we go. Took a quick 3 week class that just ended last Thursday. Immediately noticed this solid HB8 (great eyes, super hot body) when she came and sat right by me after the 3rd or 4th class session. A few class sessions later I notice this girl is giving me flying IOI's non verbally. Her body language was very open, she was constantly running her fingers through her hair, always staring at me for brief intervals, wagging her leg, then suddenly stopping when I move, then continuing again, pushing her chest out, dressing sexier the next few days. You get the idea. She then started up a random conversation with me and I knew that had to execute a game plan to close her.

So I waited until the 2nd to last day of class when the teacher decided to show a movie. Needless to say I # closed her with ease and she even mentioned how "smooth" I was in getting it... We ended up talking through about half the movie and she was putty in my hands. Laughing at all my witty remarks, smiling constantly, making very strong EC etc. When our conversation was at its HEIGHT I decided to duck out.

The next day was the last day, all we had was our final and we could leave. I walked in and as soon as I sat down she looked up at me, smiled and said hi. We took our final, she finished before me and on her way out she looked at me so I said bye. I waited 3 days and called her up. She was a little caught off guard when she answered because she had no idea who it was but then warmed up when I told her it was me. I fluffed her about the class for a few minutes. I also learned that she lives 45 minutes away from me which kinda suxs but was not a big deal. I then went straight to the focus of the phone call, setting up a day/time to meet up. She told me that Mon-Thrus she's very busy with school all day on two days and work on the other two. She told me the best time to hang out for her is Friday-Sunday. This kinda caught me off guard, because I was hoping to set up a get together a few days away from the phone call, not a week in advance. I specifically told her I wanted to go mini-golfing and she was down with that. I told her I would call her later on during the week and figure out a place and time where we could meet up half way since she lived sooooo far away. She mentioned that she didn't mind driving down towards me (high interest) so I told her I'd keep that in mind and got off the phone.

I called her on Wednesday night, and ran into the classic DJ problem. I got her voicemail. So I left a message saying:

Hey HB8, its PIMP, its about XXX time on Wednesday, give me a call back when you get this.


Well its a day and half later now and I haven't heard back from her. Soooooo I'm a little confused but not completely. I took the time to do a "search" and found some very interesting debates about "phone etiquette" and must say it the reason I decided to post this. Normally I'd just NEXT but I think that's too much of a fall back solution here at sosuave, if things go off course even slightly, guys say NEXT NEXT NEXT!! So I'm going to look deeper for a second.

On one hand, I DO agree with those who say, if the girl is interested she will call back. And why would you want to waste your time calling a few more times, even if you do get a date with her because she's not showing you any respect by returning your phone calls.

Then on the other hand we've all known that girls simply DO NOT CALL GUYS this early on in the game no matter where they're interest level is at until they've had a few successful date or even slept together. Yes, its quiet stupid but its reality.


So my question is how do I play it from here?? I definitely dig this girl and she seems to be a rare breed of (hot as shiat) and not a stupid party girl slvt that w-hores around every weekend getting wasted (that pretty much describes me though...). And I'd be shocked if she wasn't interested based on how receptive and happy she was when we were flirting etc in class that day. How have you guys handled similiar situations? Did persistence end up working in your favor or was all that work ulitmately for nothing??


Thanks for reading all that when I could just asked the question....




PIMP

 

[Good_ol_boy]

Well, if you're from the OCCCC and that's the OC in California, 45 min. is only 3 miles away via rush hour freeway.

Seriously call her ONCE more before you drop her.

 

[Heretolearn]

Originally posted by Good_ol_boy
Well, if you're from the OCCCC and that's the OC in California, 45 min. is only 3 miles away via rush hour freeway.

Seriously call her ONCE more before you drop her.

good post, you have nothing to lose by calling again a bit later - you can only be rejected once and if she has done it already you have no problem.

If she has not, then you are happy

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Has anyone ever had success with this method?? Yes I have nothing to lose because if I have in fact lost it, then calling again isn't going to make a difference. But on the other hand if she was interested ENOUGH she would have called back. Maybe I'm wrong here and someone who's been through this before and successfully tried this can chime in here.



PIMP

 

[STR8UP]

I'm a firm believer of NOT leaving a message the first time you try calling a chick. Most women would have to be VERY into you to consider returning your call.

I'm also a firm believer in cutting one's losses. Not saying that this is over or even unsalvageable, but yea, I woukd try calliing one more time and if you aren't able to get anywhere you would probably be best to let it go.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Originally posted by STR8UP
I'm a firm believer of NOT leaving a message the first time you try calling a chick. Most women would have to be VERY into you to consider returning your call.

I'm also a firm believer in cutting one's losses. Not saying that this is over or even unsalvageable, but yea, I woukd try calliing one more time and if you aren't able to get anywhere you would probably be best to let it go.

STR8UP: She picked up the first time I called her. We talked and I told her I'd call her later in the week. That's when I left a message. But Im a strong advocate about cutting your losses too. Could be a million reasons why she hasn't called back but it all boils down to interest level. If she was highly interested, she would've called and maybe she still will, but its odd.


Dust 2 Dust: Desperate?? I'm desperate because I made a thread about this?? LOL Hardly! Its just a situation I've never been in before, the thread isn't so much about her interest level in me as much as how to handle the phone etiquette better for the next one.


Appreciate the advice so far though. I'd really like to hear more thoughts, especially from someone who's been in this situation before. What did you do? Did you NEXT or call again to positive results???



PIMP

 

[legolas]

Yeah I'd say don't lose any sleep over this. Chicks at that age (college age) are swamped with stuff to do and unless she feels a strong attraction for you, she probably just put off the call.

Now remember that you waited a while to call so she might have gotten the idea that you weren't that interested given that, according to her, she gave you plenty of signs of interest and you seemed mildly interested, so might have gotten the idea you weren't that much into her. So when you called out of the blue, she was caught off guard, and now SHE is perceiving mixed messages from you and is just playing the waiting game to make sure you're really into her.

The thing you might consider doing is to give her a strong signal that you're into her without appearing too clingy or desperate. You might try being persistent in a non-desperate way. Keep calling her every once in a while, but don't always leave a message, and if you get her on the phone just suggest another date idea.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Legolas: Yeah bro that's a good point! I've got to stop being a bone head and think to always close close close!! When she suggested that she's free to hang out anytime on Friday, Saturday or Sunday I should have been assertive, picked a day and set up the date. If she showed up great, if she flaked then I could NEXT. Instead, now that I waited I'm left scratching my head because I know this chick was on my nutz and now she's no where to be found. In retrospect I shouldn't have waited 3 days to call her back to suggest a place and time to meet up since that might give her the impression I'm not THAT interested. Oh well, I'll use this as a project and see what happens with it.

I'm going to call once more and see what happens. I'm not keen on the idea of "keep calling everyonce in a while" to eventually get her to go out with me. If a girl doesn't have high enough interest to want to go out, then she's wasting my time.



PIMP

 

[Slickster]

I don't get it.

She tells you she's extremely busy during the week so you agree on a date for the weekend. You then proceed to call her on Wednesday and she doesn't call back.

She's busy dude.

Chill

 

[NorPacWolf]

I agree with everyone on this thread so far who thinks you are over-analyzing her motives. She doesn't have a strong enough opinion of you one way or the other yet for you to be worried about that. Definitely have some plans in mind when you call her next time (don't leave a message: the next time you communmicate, it must be live).

Better yet, get on Mystery's OAP list and figure out some time-bridges. Hint: call her up and just tell her you need some help at your place with whatever but you need her help in order to get it done. You can chill with her, build some comfort, get some unpaid labor lol and most importantly get part of that 4-10 hours of comfort/rapport you need before intimacy. You're definitely sweating over nothing lol.

Wolf

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Originally posted by Slickster
I don't get it.

She tells you she's extremely busy during the week so you agree on a date for the weekend. You then proceed to call her on Wednesday and she doesn't call back.

She's busy dude.

Chill

Nah its not exactly like that, I think the problem has more to do with me not executing the game plan correctly on the 1st phone call and now its left me where I'm at. And I never accepted the date for the weekend.

I, like most people like to use the phone for one reason: to set up a date. I usually like to make the first handful of dates super casual, during the week just to get a feel for the person. When she said she's completely slammed during the week this through me for a curve ball and I didn't know whether it was a good idea to:

a) accept a date on the weekend: I know stupid PUA rules that have been embedded in my head

and

b) make a date so far in advance.

also

c) the distance: since she lives sooo far away I told her I'd look up a mini-golf course that's between the both of us and I'd get back to her so we could meet up.

I waited until Wednesday for a couple reasons. One, I was extremely busy last week, school just started and I'm taking a crap load of units and the first week is always a schedule adjustment. I found sometime to look up a course and wanted to call to set something up for the daytime today. But obviously she didn't answer or call back. Now there could be a couple things going on here:

-she's testing me to see if I'm geninuely interested: will he call again, or did he just want a quick lay?

-she's miffed that I didn't set up a get together when I had the chance: She might be pissed/disappointed/felt rejected that I didn't jump at the chance to set up a time/date right then and there when I spoke with her. If that brought her interest level from 90 to 40, then as other's have said there's not much I can do about that now. Lesson learned for the future.


Its definitely something that's on my mind since the attraction was very positive from our initial interaction but I'll live if nothing happens..LOL


So your take is she will call when she has time?? I find it hard to believe that a person wouldn't have a few minutes between Wednesday and today to make a phone call if they were interested. Now I could be wrong, I could be jumping the gun but when a girl has high interest you say jump and she says "how high." Don't know if its worth it to work that hard on a girl I just met, when there are plenty of others around. We shall see though, I'll keep you posted.


More thoughts are welcome.



PIMP

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Quick update on the situation.

I called her tonight on the back from a friend's Super Bowl Party. She answered, sounded friendly but didn't know it was me. (bad sign #1. I told her it was me, then she immediately apologized for not calling me back, giving me the typical b.s. excuse saying she was very busy with school starting and all. Anyways I get straight to the point and tell her I found a mini-golf place that's right between the two of us and she excitedly said "yeah I'd still love to go, that sounds good." We went over both our schedules and agreed that Saturday would be the best time. I tell her that I'll give her all the details about the place once I get home since I didn't have it right in front of me. She tells me she should be home in about an hour. So I tell her I'll call her in about an hour.

I called about an hour and half later. She didn't answer....LOL So I just left a message telling her the name of the place and for her to call me or I'd try again if I didn't hear from her. So if I don't hear back from her within a few days, I'm going to NEXT.


The fact that she didn't know it was me when I called tells me she either a) just answered without checking who it was or b) didn't even save my # in her phone when I called her last week. That might be looking into it a bit much for a some of you but that equals low interest in my opinion. Whatever kinda suxs if she doesn't call me because she seemed highly interested when I # closed. We shall see...




PIMP

 

[legolas]

Sometimes I'm amazed at how stupid certain "DJ Rules" are, "wait 3 days before you call", "never set a date on a weekend", etc.

PIMP, you did good, gave her another chance. The fact that she didn't konw who it was might be because she might have already considered you not interested in her and moved on mentally, but now you're back and she might give it another try. Doesn't mean she's not interested, just that she might have lost that lust she once felt.

Good idea to see what happens, I would defintely NEXT her mentally and move on if she doesn't appear too interested, but if the date goes well, and there's potential then just take it easy. Guys have this weird tendency to make it a race and see how quickly they can close the deal and have sex, and then they complain that they aren't into her anymore, or she wasn't the sex freak they dreamed her to be. Maybe she would have been, had you given her some time for the sexual tension to buld

You're doing fine, but in the future (and I learned this lesson the hard way) you've got to take advantage of your opportunities THE MOMENT they appear, or else you lose.

And don't think about it too much. Just simply move on.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Originally posted by legolas
Sometimes I'm amazed at how stupid certain "DJ Rules" are, "wait 3 days before you call", "never set a date on a weekend", etc.

PIMP, you did good, gave her another chance. The fact that she didn't konw who it was might be because she might have already considered you not interested in her and moved on mentally, but now you're back and she might give it another try. Doesn't mean she's not interested, just that she might have lost that lust she once felt.

Good idea to see what happens, I would defintely NEXT her mentally and move on if she doesn't appear too interested, but if the date goes well, and there's potential then just take it easy. Guys have this weird tendency to make it a race and see how quickly they can close the deal and have sex, and then they complain that they aren't into her anymore, or she wasn't the sex freak they dreamed her to be. Maybe she would have been, had you given her some time for the sexual tension to buld

You're doing fine, but in the future (and I learned this lesson the hard way) you've got to take advantage of your opportunities THE MOMENT they appear, or else you lose.

And don't think about it too much. Just simply move on.

Good post bro!! Yes I've had the whole PUA rules embedded in my head and I'm trying to be more understanding of things now. I probably NEXT'D 10 girls over the past few years who would have been great, but one or two miscues lead me to drop it. I'll give her until Wednesday to call me, if she doesn't I'm not going to show up. If a girl can't call you back, that doesn't say much about her interest level or her in general.



PIMP

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Originally posted by Dust 2 Dust
So, did she ever call?

Nope! Kinda weird situation based on the initial # close and how strong her interest level seemed, but who knows WTF is going on. I did say I'd call again if I didn't hear from her this time but I never did. I shouldn't have to call a girl 3x before she can actually call me back, that's crazy.

I'll keep you posted if anything strange happens.



PIMP

 

[legolas]

Remember interest doesn't stay the same especially if she gets the idea that you may not share her interest. Despite the # close, I think you should have moved a little faster in the beginning. But that's a lesson for the future.

Move on....nothing to see here.

 

[princelydeeds]

Not to be a jerk, but I thought this was the adult room. Number closing chicks after class and whether or not to call a girl back after she hasn't called u for a day is pretty juvenile. How old are you?

 

[Kid Quick]

Originally posted by princelydeeds
Not to be a jerk, but I thought this was the adult room. Number closing chicks after class and whether or not to call a girl back after she hasn't called u for a day is pretty juvenile. How old are you?

From his post it was a 3 week class, perhaps an adult education course. However there's something to be said for brevity.