Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

The 6 Supreme Factors of Attraction de la Soul

De La Soul

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 4, 2002
Messages
829
Reaction score
3
Location
It's a badly-kept secret.
No doubt most of you want a phrase or a technique that will make you a true Don Juan with the ladies. Well, the way I see it is this: techniques are good, phrases are good, but the only thing which is ABSOLUTELY UNBEATABLE is the Don Juan state of mind. Below I list the 6 factors which every true Don Juan has mastered. Once you have conditioned yourself so that they are part of you (this will not be easy unless you remind yourself why you are doing it each and every day, and persist) or you have them under control, and only then, can you claim to be a true Don Juan.

1. Confidence: OK confidence is THE most difficult and important attribute to master. Once you have confidence you have one half the battle. Once you have confidence all the other factors below become 10 times easier to master. Believe it or not, repitition of phrases will help confidence! Try repeating out loud to yourself (or writing down) 5-10 times a day something that will remind you that you are the man ("I am the man. I do what I want when I went without hesitating. I discard all doubt, insecurity and emotion, and simply trust myself. I do what my I want to do with supreme confidence and conviction."). But, of course that is not all it takes, not by a long shot. Join a sports team, get a hobby, get a job(!). But the BIG part is believing that you are the man; once you believe this, without telling it to others all the time, then others will believe it as well.

2. Ambition: WOMEN AND CONFIDENCE WILL COME WHEN YOU HAVE PASSIONATE AMBITION AND NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. Trust me, a guy who has goals to achieve is a lot more desirable than a guy who just wants to lie around all day and devise schemes for getting laid. Get a job, get some money, write down what you want to achieve in your lifetime and remember these things everyday. If you get discouraged after getting rejected, think of your ambitions and remember that women are not the entire world! Once you have established your own dreams and started working towards them your fear of rejection will gradually diminish because you now have your own things to worry about, you are complete in yourself and you realise that you don't need a woman by your side every minute. Women are not there to complete you, but they are nice.

3. Humor: Well, I don't have time to go into all the facets of humour but the basic points on it are to approach humour with confidence(!), to BE OBSERVANT about the world you are living in, look on the lighter side of the world and the news etc. etc. you can even take a few pointers from comedy shows like Just Shoot Me or Seinfeld for inspiration of how great humour works. Or do a search under humour in the Don Juan Discussion Forum.

4. Image: This, along with everything else ties in with confidence. Make sure you've got all the basic clothing items you need to feel good about yourself (do a search for "clothes" or "fashion" or something like that on this site) e.g. nice shoes, nice watch, variety of pants, variety of shirts, hair gel, cologne EVERYTHING! You can develop your own style or follow the trends it's up to you. Also, WORK-OUT, seek proffesional advice before you do so and enjoy the benefits ("It won't happen overnight but it will happen" lol, very true).

5. Work on your KINO: Do not underestimate the power of KINO! If you're not sure what this is or how to do it, search it on the site!

6. Eye-Contact: (same as above)

Basically, once you have mastered these things you will be so much more in control of your Don Juaning abilities that you will be able to get, pretty much whoever you want. In conclusion, you need CONFIDENCE, AMBITION/MOTIVATION/Non-Dependence on other people, HUMOUR, good SELF-IMAGE, good KINO skills, and good EYE CONTACT skills. When you've got these you've got it made, seriously.




[This message has been edited by De La Soul (edited 05-24-2002).]
 

Jester

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 6, 2001
Messages
1,949
Reaction score
7
Location
NJ, USA
bro, u have the right idea, but i believe i have all of those things(not much ambition tho), and im still not a master DJ just yet...

maybe its residual afc traits, i dont know, but theres something else that i cant put my finger on...ill be thinking about it today.
 

jtws

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 12, 2001
Messages
493
Reaction score
1
Location
Between the Goalposts
Originally posted by Jester:
bro, u have the right idea, but i believe i have all of those things(not much ambition tho), and im still not a master DJ just yet...

maybe its residual afc traits, i dont know, but theres something else that i cant put my finger on...ill be thinking about it today.
are you getting the girls? if you are, who cares if you're an AFC or not
 

cyclonus

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 14, 2001
Messages
529
Reaction score
1
bro, u have the right idea, but i believe i have all of those things(not much ambition tho), and im still not a master DJ just yet...
maybe its residual afc traits, i dont know, but theres something else that i cant put my finger on...ill be thinking about it today.
Being a DJ is a state of mind. I don't go on asking whether or not I am a master DJ. I think therefore I am. I know the limits to my skills, but I also know my window of opportunity is endless and there's nothing hindering me except my own thoughts.

Being a DJ goes beyond analyzation, worrying about AFC traits, playing by the script. It's about doing whatever the fvck you want and being happy.

I know you can't go up to any random woman and chat her up jesty, and I know you are worried about "impressing" other women. Rule # 1: Don't give a fvck what a women is thinking about you.
 

De La Soul

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 4, 2002
Messages
829
Reaction score
3
Location
It's a badly-kept secret.
Don't give a fvck what a women is thinking about you.
Yeah I meant to put that in there!
 

IntermediateDonJuaner

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 1, 2001
Messages
933
Reaction score
1
De La soul,
This is true. Confidence is the cornerstone of success with women but it is the most difficult to master.

It isn't easy to master any situations given without confidence. So how do we improve on confidence besides repeating phrases everyday?
 

De La Soul

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 4, 2002
Messages
829
Reaction score
3
Location
It's a badly-kept secret.
Intermediate DJ, there are so many ways to increase your confidence but there are different types of confidence for different situations. Foe example, having confidence on the sports field is very different from having confidence when approaching a girl.

Confidence on the sports field is the result of quality practice, good mental preparation (visualisation, relaxation techniques), additional training, and a heap of motivation.

However confidence with women is very different. Everyone would do well to have a good look at the DJ Bible and, although that may give you a burst of confidence and motivation, at the end of the day just studying the DJ bible will not give you true confidence. True confidence with girls comes from being completely self-assured and at ease in any situation. To do this, the first step is to get a lot of female friends (the hotter the better), promise yourself you will not try to hit on these girls, they are purely friends. Use these connections to your advantage, these friends of yours will have more friends who will have more friends who will know people etc. So put this first group of friends off limits, use them to hone your skills with women so you become more and more confident with females and then, when you're ready, branch out to the other connections you have at your disposal and take your pick of the ladies who you want (MAKE SURE YOU ARE NOT BUDDIES WITH THE CHICK YOU'RE GOING TO MACK ON). You will feel so much more confident because of your experience with your other female FRIENDS.

So how do you get these connections? GET A JOB! JOIN A SPORTS TEAM! IF YOU ARE AT SCHOOL JOIN ALL THE CLUBS YOU CAN (just make sure they're not TOO geeky), I'm talkin bands, food groups, debating etc. The friends you make at these places will, believe it or not have other friends who have other friends. So, not only will you be extending you network of connections you will also be increasing your confidence (if you join the debating club, you'll gain a lot of confidence in public speaking situations) + if you get good at any of these things your status will soar.

As well as these things, you should learn to, when approaching a woman or a group of women, focus on what you're doing and NOT TRYING TO GUESS WHAT SHE IS THINKING OR WANTS/DOESNT WANT YOU TO DO! REMEMBER YOU ARE THE MAN! IT IS UP TO YOU TO CHOOSE HOW THE SITUATION WILL GO. Take control, you'll quickly find out whether or not she's interested, if she is BINGO, if she isn't, she'll still respect you and so you simply MOVE ON. Remember, you can't score if you don't shoot.

The key to approaching is to do it without hesitating. Don't imagine what she's thinking or what could happen. Just go up to her, introduce yourself and let it flow from there. Trust your original instincts not your petty insecurities. Don't even think about what you're going to say after you introduce yourself, if you can't think of anything, she's not going to laugh at you or burst into tears; you can always walk away AFTER APPROACHING. YOU WILL STILL WAKE UP THE NEXT MORNING. Just remember, if you see a girl you like the look of, approach her straight away-don't even think about it.

The final point I will make about confidence is that the best thing to do is to simply stop worrying about what others think or might be thinking! LET GO. Imagine yourself looking back on your life. Would you rather look back on a person who never did anything unexpected, unwanted or "risky" (keep in mind these perceived risks are rarely an actual threat) or someone who did what they wanted to do, took charge, and achieved their goals? Enough said.
 

De La Soul

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 4, 2002
Messages
829
Reaction score
3
Location
It's a badly-kept secret.
OK I just skimmed over hannibal 82's post "95 Theses of the DJ Bible". It's worth a look. Here are a few of my favourite quotes from it, relating to confidence:

"Shy people THINK too much. Shy people react to situations when they should be acting/initiating" - Pook , Kill that desperation

"You can't be happy in a relationship unless you're happy being single" - Pook, Feeling Down about your love life

"If you don't do anything, and sit on your ass like a nice guy, you are already down for the count. You rejected YOURSELF." - Pulse, How to avoid an awful experience

"When you go into things in life knowing you will win, you radiate confidence. " - Drew, A Game you can always win

"Not approaching a girl actually feels worse than getting rejected" - Don Joey , Next time you're too scared to approach do this

"The bottom line is that when you focus on your own inner greatness your inner light begins to shine and like moths to a flame people will be attracted to you. " - Supporter, Breaking Free

" Why be afraid of someone 5'6", 125 lbs.? If somebody that little scares you, you'd better grow some balls, quick time." - bondjamesbond, how I did it...

"Most women don't go for guys who 'love' them. They go for guys who excite them, frighten them, give them an adrenaline rush and can keep their little puzzies moist by acting like real men. " - WildThang, "love" and AFC's

"Trust me on this one, a confident elephant man swimming in a pool of dung is more attractive than an insecure Tom Cruise. We all know this : an assertive fat a$$ will always be more sucessful than a cute, muscular queer boy. " - Challenge GUy, My 2 Cents on Confidence

"Nice guys think their sexuality will scare the woman so they hide it. They then wonder why they hear "Let's Just be Friends" a lot." - Pook, reply from First Impressions count

"Powerful Male: Strike the concept beautiful out. It adds nothing and it doesn't help. She is not a princess, someone special super human. She is simply a woman that a lot of men emotionally respond to." - Darkdream, The holy grail of dating

"Initiate kino (body contact) as early as possible…..a simple non-threatening handshake is an excellent way of creating early kino. It also makes her feel more comfortable with you." - Pimpologist, Pimpology 101, The conversation part I
 

Charismatic

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 4, 2002
Messages
124
Reaction score
0
Location
CA, USA
Originally posted by Jester:
bro, u have the right idea, but i believe i have all of those things(not much ambition tho), and im still not a master DJ just yet...

maybe its residual afc traits, i dont know, but theres something else that i cant put my finger on...ill be thinking about it today.

Jester, weren't you telling me in the chat room how you couldn't even make yourself ask for a girl's number? And this was more than once? Come on man, you have to be honest with yourself.
 

De La Soul

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 4, 2002
Messages
829
Reaction score
3
Location
It's a badly-kept secret.
Charismatic : Jester, weren't you telling me in the chat room how you couldn't even make yourself ask for a girl's number? And this was more than once? Come on man, you have to be honest with yourself.

Absolutely right. I don't think it quite adds up, jester. If you have confidence, asking for a girl's number should be the least of your problems.
 
Top