the 4 Year experience. In chapters.

[THIAGO BRAZIL II]

hi

4 1/2 years ago I was an afc. Terrible life style, didnt know much about women, nothing lets say, mastubation and all that that comes along, depression, loneliness, heavy b.s. .

then I found here and started a new life.
Met some 4 or 5 chicks, all the way, 3 seconds rule, say hello, conversation, get the number, call 2 days later, get a date, if good kiss her, if not bye bye, next!

Then I met this girl and the novel began ... heheh

I will add more and more memories as they get clear on my mind, all the good points, the mistakes, the lessons and so on...

We met on line, as we got really interested on each other, she gave me her number, and everything was smooth.

We went to my farm house every weekend, those were great days! I use to dream about getting married with her, living together, I really like her and she was a nice woman, all the positive points for her.
We always had great time, both sex, going out, talking, romantic stuff, I tought, well, this it a good girl to keep.

But time... time shows us the truth.

We began to have discussions, I felt I was giving too much and not getting anything in return, she was always studying and I felt left in second place, but let her on first place in my life.

She lives far, and it was a 20 mile trip to visit her, in the begining I went there 2, 3 times a week, but it began to get really hard to go, I had to leave my car on the street - here in Brazil it is almost like giving the car away, thief problems really a serious thing - in the other hand when we went out with her car we never could leave the car on the street. It is not about just the car, it is about sharing, like the Donnie Brasco movie quote "If I have $100, I give you $50".

My mistake>>> depreciating my things, my time, treating her like the boss, and me as a secretary.

gotta go lunch, will keep writing, it helps to clarify what happened.

 

[MightyMate]

First love cant be love of the life. You gonna always failt there. You mistake is very usual.

 

[hck332]

nice...

It's a little sad to know that she's got 4 years of your life, but at least you've learned your lesson.

 

[THIAGO BRAZIL II]

and then, on the second year, she traveled to Italy to study, for a month.
I stood here, really missing her, spent lots of money on phone calls, and she never called me. Again, the mistake >> doing more for her than she did for me.

When she returned she asked me to print her photos and took´em for her at college where we were gonna lunch. Ok, as soon the pics were printed a GREAT SURPRISE, picture of her and a man, she cheated on me. I asked her if she had cheated on me, and after several tries she admited and said that regreated. Since then things were never the same.

I could no longer trust her.

I know she wouldnt go out cheating like a b*tch, but the trust have been hitted hard, and the structure was weaker.

A few months later just to imagine going visit her made me sick and feel pretty bad. Even so, I carried on the pain. MISTAKE!

Our ltr was terrible. Even tough we tried to keep it alive.

Well... there are so many issues that happened that could be avoided simply by following SELF RESPECT and TOTAL RESPECT FOR THE OTHER..

I know I made several mistakes, and it hurts me to remember the moments I made her cry, better, the moments she cried because of some of my attitudes.

if I could go back in time I would change:

KEEP MY DREAMS ALIVE. NEVER LET SOMEONE ELSE SAY THAT IM IDIOT AND ACCEPT IT
DATE A WOMAN THAT HAS SENSE OF HUMOR! THAT LAUGH ON MY JOKES
BE MYSELF.

later on add more stuff..

thanks for reading

 

[Create Reality]

right on, bro
I feel for ya

 

[THIAGO BRAZIL II]

this last year was terrible.

I got my revenge on her by cheating back, but the feeling was just not right. I was doing something that was against my priciples.
Once she said me "oh, it is ok to have some one else, just dont let the other person know it..." DAMN! How am I going to sleep in the same bed with a person that believes that cheating is ok?!? How I am supposed to build a family if I cant trust her???

By the time, she always kept asking me about marriage...

I was feeling bad. I didnt have the guts to break up. my mistake, I did not have the hability to WALK AWAY.

Then, in the early days of this year she finally broke up... by email . By the same time I went to Europe to work, and those were hard days my friend... I was in Paris and feeling sad...
ufff...

Yesterday I picked up all the things she gave me, all the pictures, and burned it all, like a ritual of good bye.

I dont hate her, I dont have bad feelings on her, I really hope that she will be happy in her life and find a mate that makes her happy - and who likes to be cheated and doesnt know about it.

Thats it.

Now I am returning to my principles, to my dreams, things that should have never been left out my life.

If I remember any more mistakes, will post´em.

 

[Desdinova]

Now I am returning to my principles, to my dreams, things that should have never been left out my life.

Hell yeah! Those are the things that will never leave you, so why leave them behind? Women should always come after the things that are the closest and most meaningful to you. Your love for yourself, your goals, your dreams, your morals, and your beliefs.

 

[THIAGO BRAZIL II]

another thing that I remembered.. pffff this is getting boring, the more I read the DJ Bible, I realize my mistakes and just wanna forget about everything and go on.
But my mission here is with the friends of the site, so they can learn with my mistakes.

over this 4 years I have been sexually satisfied no more than a few times - hardly ehhehe

I mean, sex was good, but it was so scarced, so little quantity that I had to fight 5 against one = masturbation , even when I visited her and slept over her house.
There were times when I penetrate her and she would stand still like those plastic freak sex dolls. Then I stopped and she says "continue, go on.." What the hell look like you are sleeping or dead!! I taught, never said a word, I kept the frustration to myself and did not complain. MISTAKE

It was always one orgasm, I did most of the job.... Not a critic on her, it is just the way she is, not good not bad, but I have a sexual need that she could not satisfy. Thats why I was always on the search for another girl but did not had the guts to go on all the way, I could not cheat.

So I stayed unsatisfied with a bonner and crying .... ahahahahah Just ridiculous

Today my first Boot Camp Week. Gotta go. :cheer: :cheer:

 

[backbreaker]

life is a big classroom.. you are getting it.

You are 150% correct in not being mad at her... she did nothing but be herself.

the fault as you said, was in your actions.. by being so clingy, you made her feel she had more power than she really had (or did she)

When women cheat, it's because they think they can do better or because they don't care if they loose your or not.

Pick up the peices and move on, and welcome back

 

[ethnomethodologist]

Welcome aboard Thiago

I am excited that you've decided to join us. Always great to have a unique culture aboard the bootcamp train.

Going to be drilling you for advice once my mind isn't soft anymore

*note I would have responded in the response thread, but I needed a way to sticky this thread for future notation*

 

[djbr]

Originally posted by THIAGO BRAZIL II
Yesterday I picked up all the things she gave me, all the pictures, and burned it all, like a ritual of good bye.

Seems like us brazilians have a lot of things in common. I did this too with my ex-gf "gifts". Talk about relief

 

[THIAGO BRAZIL II]

these days have been in part good, thanks for the Boot Camp & terrible sad.

In some moments I just wish to return with her (this damn weakness!) and then my minds remember me of everything and get back in the course.

What thrills me is the future. The several girls I will meet in life.. and it heals my soul.