Jeffst1980
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 22, 2008
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- 835
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I decided to write this after googling "text game" and finding a lot of really awful advice out there. It seems as if the authors of these articles just imagined what might work in their heads and then came up with a rationale to explain it all later. The only one I'd strongly recommend is Roosh's guide to texting.
These days, I find absolutely no incentive for calling rather than texting. For starters, most girls 18-24 simply DON'T return phone calls from random men. Returning a phone call is actually a pretty big compliance test to ask from a girl you just met. A text, on the other hand, will usually get you a response- even if she isn't all that interested. It's "safer" for her, because she can choose to stop responding at any time.
The problem with most of the "text game" guides on the internet is that they treat texts as reminder notices that essentially scream, "Hey! I'm still interested in you! Please think about me!" The old model was to text a girl some kind of flirty communication EVERY DAY, in order to "weave her into your life."
This is WRONG.
A few pickup guys made the disclaimer that, of course, they meant that you should send "non needy" texts. The reality is, if you are texting a girl every day (or nearly every day), you are coming across as needy NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY. The act of paying her attention is enough to make her interest level drop.
So, how do you "game" via text? You do the opposite.
Proper "text game" is actually "anti-text game," where you ignore a girl in order to stir up a little anxiety and get her thinking about you. I'm sure you know how it feels to have a text ignored by a girl, or have a girl suddenly disappear on you. Imagine those feelings amplified, and you have their effect on a girl's interest level.
Because of the current culture, it is no longer enough to be a cool guy, or to have a great first date. You are not just in competition with every guy that is trying to game her, but- thanks to Facebook and other forms of social media- guys that she is TRYING to get to game her. Young women can afford to be more selective and "branch swing" easier than ever before, and the ONLY way to come out ahead of the pack is to trigger her emotions by stirring up feelings of insecurity, desire, jealousy, and other strong human motivators. Push/ pull is the essence of game.
So, how do we achieve this? I have some guidelines, and 10 is a nice, round number:
10 RULES FOR TEXTING
1) DO NOT TEXT A GIRL THE NIGHT YOU MEET HER, OR THE NEXT MORNING.
You may think you're being cute, but it comes off as needy. If it's the same night, she'll show her friends and have a chuckle. If it's the next morning, she'll experience buyer's remorse.
2) TEXT HER 2-3 DAYS AFTER YOU LAST SAW HER, AND USE A SMALL BIT OF CALLBACK HUMOR TO BREAK THE ICE.
Make sure to end with your name (e.g. -Jeff) so that she doesn't have to type, "who is this?" and kill the momentum. Use this text to gauge her receptiveness. If she types a lot back or asks you a question, it's a good sign.
3) ONCE YOU ARE ASSURED OF A BIT OF RAPPORT, MAKE PLANS TO DO SOMETHING SIMPLE IN 2-3 DAYS. DON'T RUN "MATERIAL" VIA TEXT
Say something like, "You seem pretty cool, want to meet for a drink/ coffee later this week? Wednesday or Thursday night works for me." If she accepts, tell her you'll text her on the day of the meet. If she says, "can I get back to you on that?" make her feel discomfort by not responding until the next day. When a girl says, "I'll let you know," she actually means, "I won't let you know."
4) SHUT UP UNTIL THE DAY OF THE DATE.
You have a life. Be busy. Don't oversell- this is one of the reasons girls flake and cancel last minute. Wait until 4-5 hours before the date and say, "just finishing up ___, I'll see you at ___."
5) REGARDLESS OF HOW YOUR FIRST DATE GOES, DON'T TEXT HER THE NEXT DAY
Again, most guys do this after a great date and it makes a girl's interest level plummet. Give her time to reflect and wonder if you actually liked her, or if you were just pretending- even if you slept with her on the first date. Let a couple of days go by, and then repeat the texting process (rapport/logistics/silence). This will eliminate any feelings of buyer's remorse that she might feel, and will assure her that you aren't needy or clingy.
6) IF SHE TEXTS YOU SEEKING RAPPORT, YOU MAY RESPOND.
This is a sign that she likes you- reward her interest by engaging with her and flirting with her. Just don't be TOO enthusiastic. Limit the use of smilies, etc. In fact, try not to use them at all.
7) IF SHE TAKES FOREVER TO RESPOND TO YOU, TAKE LONGER
Response times matter. Don't worry- she won't forget about the guy that ignores her texts.
8) IF SHE CANCELS, DON'T RESPOND UNTIL AT LEAST RIGHT BEFORE THE DATE WOULD HAVE BEGUN, OR (PREFERABLY) THE NEXT DAY OR SO. SIMPLY SAY, "OK."
Again, we want to use silence to build tension. She's expecting you to go the AFC route of telling her it's fine and that you'd be happy to pick another day just so that you can see her again. She'll be disappointed to see that this didn't get SOME sort of response. Sometimes, she might even change her mind and decide she WILL meet up with you, after all.
9) IF YOU REMAIN SILENT FOR A WEEK OR MORE, IT IS EASIER TO RE-ENGAGE
If you are building negative momentum (e.g. she flaked, cancelled without a counteroffer, seems less interested), go silent for 7-10 days, then hit her up the next week using the same process. A lot of times, this acts as a "refresh" button. You can also ignore certain texts that she sends if you sense that she is just using you as a backup. An example of this would be a "Hey sorry I didn't respond. what's up?" text.
10) IF THE LINE GOES DEAD, DELETE HER NUMBER.
If she won't even answer your texts, she is not even CLOSE to interested in meeting up. I would either delete her number, or put it in a "flaky girl" group messaging list. You can occasionally (once every month or two) message "plans tonight?"- on the 1 in 100 chance that ONE of them might be receptive. Most likely, though, the interaction is dead.
----
That should about cover it. Remember, text game won't make much difference if you didn't impress her in person. However, this should be very helpful to guys that consistently go on great first dates, only to have the girl suddenly disappear or reject them. Remember- you may not be able to build interest through text, but you CAN build interest through NOT texting.
These days, I find absolutely no incentive for calling rather than texting. For starters, most girls 18-24 simply DON'T return phone calls from random men. Returning a phone call is actually a pretty big compliance test to ask from a girl you just met. A text, on the other hand, will usually get you a response- even if she isn't all that interested. It's "safer" for her, because she can choose to stop responding at any time.
The problem with most of the "text game" guides on the internet is that they treat texts as reminder notices that essentially scream, "Hey! I'm still interested in you! Please think about me!" The old model was to text a girl some kind of flirty communication EVERY DAY, in order to "weave her into your life."
This is WRONG.
A few pickup guys made the disclaimer that, of course, they meant that you should send "non needy" texts. The reality is, if you are texting a girl every day (or nearly every day), you are coming across as needy NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY. The act of paying her attention is enough to make her interest level drop.
So, how do you "game" via text? You do the opposite.
Proper "text game" is actually "anti-text game," where you ignore a girl in order to stir up a little anxiety and get her thinking about you. I'm sure you know how it feels to have a text ignored by a girl, or have a girl suddenly disappear on you. Imagine those feelings amplified, and you have their effect on a girl's interest level.
Because of the current culture, it is no longer enough to be a cool guy, or to have a great first date. You are not just in competition with every guy that is trying to game her, but- thanks to Facebook and other forms of social media- guys that she is TRYING to get to game her. Young women can afford to be more selective and "branch swing" easier than ever before, and the ONLY way to come out ahead of the pack is to trigger her emotions by stirring up feelings of insecurity, desire, jealousy, and other strong human motivators. Push/ pull is the essence of game.
So, how do we achieve this? I have some guidelines, and 10 is a nice, round number:
10 RULES FOR TEXTING
1) DO NOT TEXT A GIRL THE NIGHT YOU MEET HER, OR THE NEXT MORNING.
You may think you're being cute, but it comes off as needy. If it's the same night, she'll show her friends and have a chuckle. If it's the next morning, she'll experience buyer's remorse.
2) TEXT HER 2-3 DAYS AFTER YOU LAST SAW HER, AND USE A SMALL BIT OF CALLBACK HUMOR TO BREAK THE ICE.
Make sure to end with your name (e.g. -Jeff) so that she doesn't have to type, "who is this?" and kill the momentum. Use this text to gauge her receptiveness. If she types a lot back or asks you a question, it's a good sign.
3) ONCE YOU ARE ASSURED OF A BIT OF RAPPORT, MAKE PLANS TO DO SOMETHING SIMPLE IN 2-3 DAYS. DON'T RUN "MATERIAL" VIA TEXT
Say something like, "You seem pretty cool, want to meet for a drink/ coffee later this week? Wednesday or Thursday night works for me." If she accepts, tell her you'll text her on the day of the meet. If she says, "can I get back to you on that?" make her feel discomfort by not responding until the next day. When a girl says, "I'll let you know," she actually means, "I won't let you know."
4) SHUT UP UNTIL THE DAY OF THE DATE.
You have a life. Be busy. Don't oversell- this is one of the reasons girls flake and cancel last minute. Wait until 4-5 hours before the date and say, "just finishing up ___, I'll see you at ___."
5) REGARDLESS OF HOW YOUR FIRST DATE GOES, DON'T TEXT HER THE NEXT DAY
Again, most guys do this after a great date and it makes a girl's interest level plummet. Give her time to reflect and wonder if you actually liked her, or if you were just pretending- even if you slept with her on the first date. Let a couple of days go by, and then repeat the texting process (rapport/logistics/silence). This will eliminate any feelings of buyer's remorse that she might feel, and will assure her that you aren't needy or clingy.
6) IF SHE TEXTS YOU SEEKING RAPPORT, YOU MAY RESPOND.
This is a sign that she likes you- reward her interest by engaging with her and flirting with her. Just don't be TOO enthusiastic. Limit the use of smilies, etc. In fact, try not to use them at all.
7) IF SHE TAKES FOREVER TO RESPOND TO YOU, TAKE LONGER
Response times matter. Don't worry- she won't forget about the guy that ignores her texts.
8) IF SHE CANCELS, DON'T RESPOND UNTIL AT LEAST RIGHT BEFORE THE DATE WOULD HAVE BEGUN, OR (PREFERABLY) THE NEXT DAY OR SO. SIMPLY SAY, "OK."
Again, we want to use silence to build tension. She's expecting you to go the AFC route of telling her it's fine and that you'd be happy to pick another day just so that you can see her again. She'll be disappointed to see that this didn't get SOME sort of response. Sometimes, she might even change her mind and decide she WILL meet up with you, after all.
9) IF YOU REMAIN SILENT FOR A WEEK OR MORE, IT IS EASIER TO RE-ENGAGE
If you are building negative momentum (e.g. she flaked, cancelled without a counteroffer, seems less interested), go silent for 7-10 days, then hit her up the next week using the same process. A lot of times, this acts as a "refresh" button. You can also ignore certain texts that she sends if you sense that she is just using you as a backup. An example of this would be a "Hey sorry I didn't respond. what's up?" text.
10) IF THE LINE GOES DEAD, DELETE HER NUMBER.
If she won't even answer your texts, she is not even CLOSE to interested in meeting up. I would either delete her number, or put it in a "flaky girl" group messaging list. You can occasionally (once every month or two) message "plans tonight?"- on the 1 in 100 chance that ONE of them might be receptive. Most likely, though, the interaction is dead.
----
That should about cover it. Remember, text game won't make much difference if you didn't impress her in person. However, this should be very helpful to guys that consistently go on great first dates, only to have the girl suddenly disappear or reject them. Remember- you may not be able to build interest through text, but you CAN build interest through NOT texting.
