Text blotch up.. still salvagable?

[Phammer]

Long time lurker, here is the story:

Went out on a coffee date with HB8 a month ago. Got some inital IOIs during the date. Called a week later to see if she wanted to go out for drinks after exams but she was scheduled to head home for the holidays.

Now I re-initiated contact through text. I think I might have pushed the humor a bit far which might have offended her. Here is the log:

me: Hey HB8, how was your NYE? Anyways you wouldn't believe who i saw again?! (hint: crazy, middle age, loves the lord)
[we met at a train station where some crazy bum was praising the lord and we hit it off there]

HB8: Hey Phammer! My NYE was fun yet low key. How was yours? LOL was the guy doing the same thing again? That's funny you bumped into him again!

me: NYE was tight, managed to stay up for count down. In regards to the crazy guy, that's for me to know and for you to find out. What is your schedule like this semester?

HB8: Haha I gues that means you will only tell me in person! Well I'm up at school (these days). How about you?

me: Well I will only tell you if you promise not to stalk me when I'm up there .

So this were it left off. No response from HB8. Your thoughts on this guys?

 

[Bluntmaster]

HB8: Haha I gues that means you will only tell me in person! Well I'm up at school (these days). How about you?

DAMN she told you she wants to see you in person and you blew it. After she said that you should have told her to meet you somewhere in person.

Can you salvage? Call her now, set up a date. Screw texts.

 

[piday314]

I'd chill out. She'll respond if she has a sense of humor and interest in you.

 

[Chickfight]

What's there to get?
She was slightly interested, but then she got bored. Can't blame her. You managed to stay up ALL the way til midnight? Woah easy there tiger.
You didn't offend her and sure as hell shouldn't be worried about offending her.
Just try improving your game in general and call, don't text.
Best thing you can do right now for this situation is nothing, don't contact her, it won't help. This might raise her attraction level and it may not, but if it does, SHE'LL CONTACT YOU.

 

[MartyMcFly]

I don't see too much wrong with what you said. But screw that texting ****. After she said she wanted to see you in person, you should've called her up. Don't beat yourself up over it. Its all a learning experience.

 

[Atom Smasher]

It's like I tell you guys all the time... You can't over-use ****y/funny without giving her a feeling of awkwardness.

This is a classic example. When every line is a C/F statement or comeback, it comes across as try-hard and ROYALLY annoying. It lowers your value and concretely demonstrates to her that you are not socially calibrated.

It's ok, you're trying to calibrate, and that's good.

C/F is a seasoning on the meal of the interaction, not the meal itself. You should pepper the conversation with some C/F but you should also demonstrate POISE. That's a word that is not used commonly around here, but I guarantee you, if she (the universal "she") has any maturity at all, she is looking for poise. That means she's looking for a self-controlled, self-respecting man who has a great sense of humor but who doesn't need to demonstrate that to her. It is just integrated into who he is.

Almost every time I see a crash & burn text, virtually every line from the guy is an attempt at C/F. Remember, use C/F as the spice on the conversation. You can sprinkle it liberally, but not exclusively.

 

[Phammer]

Thanks for quick replies. Yea C&F went a bit too far from what I can gather from her no response.

Anyways, in regards to contacting HB8 should I call to see if she is still interested or should I wait for her to contact me to see if she is still interested in meeting up?

 

[Atom Smasher]

You: Hey, I'm going out to [such and such] on Friday night. Come on out with me.

This is a command, not a request. The implication is that you're granting her an opportunity to hang with THE MAN, and if she refuses it is her loss and no skin off your nose. Come off as if however she answers is perfectly ok with you. If she says no, cordially end the conversation fairly quickly without a hint of disappointment. Be perfectly content with her response, and project that and move on. If yes, then game on.

The idea is tht YOU are the prize, not her, and that you are giving her a chance to be a guest in YOUR world. If she declines then she is blind to your value, and so be it. If yes, then she had good discernment in valuing your commanding presence. It's YOUR frame, and YOUR world.

 

[Jariel]

I'd chill out. She'll respond if she has a sense of humor and interest in you.

Exactly.

It might not have been the best thing to say, but something like that isn't going to suddenly put her off you.

But like Atomsmasher said, go easy on the c+f and try to avoid thinking too much about what you're saying. Just be natural.

 

[Ease]

Its not the line, if she was interested she would reply.

Stop sweating so hard, it's all down to in-person meetings. You can almost never build any real interest over the phone. The only thing you can do is prevent damage.

The line was fine. Good if anything. Lets put it this way:

If you hadn't made a move and started flirting, you would still be wondering how she feels and if you should make your move yet or not. Its about pulling the trigger, dont chump out after having made your move.

Although reading over it again, you should probably have went straight to 'Lets meet up', when she hinted seeing you in person. It appears you did indeed fail to pull the correct trigger at the correct time! And this is how you failed to 'prevent damage' in your text game. Learn from it you dig.

 

[Ease]

You: Hey, I'm going out to [such and such] on Friday night. Come on out with me.

This is a command, not a request. The implication is that you're granting her an opportunity to hang with THE MAN, and if she refuses it is her loss and no skin off your nose. Come off as if however she answers is perfectly ok with you. If she says no, cordially end the conversation fairly quickly without a hint of disappointment. Be perfectly content with her response, and project that and move on. If yes, then game on.

The idea is tht YOU are the prize, not her, and that you are giving her a chance to be a guest in YOUR world. If she declines then she is blind to your value, and so be it. If yes, then she had good discernment in valuing your commanding presence. It's YOUR frame, and YOUR world.

This is the advice of a man who gets walked over, and he likes it!

A true role model for all. A man who faces rejection, humiliation, and is perfectly content with it!

In a way, because he is such a prize, he enjoys it! I hope i can achieve this level one day. Because this is the kind of thing that really gets a man any girl he wants.

Ease: Hey, I'm going out to [such and such] on Friday night. Come out with me.
Girl: No... im busy...
Ease: So?
Girl: Fuuuucck meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee easeeeeee

 

[Iceberg]

It wasn't a total screw up. I was expecting a d*ck joke or something. But yeah you should have just told her to meet you for drinks after the "I guess you want to see me in person" line.

This is why guys shouldn't play these back and forth text games. I know you want to be humorous, do cutesy stuff, etc. But you can do it all in one text. Besides, you're not building rapport via text anyway.

YOU: Happy new year. Guess who I bumped into at the train station today. What's going on this week? Let's grab a drink tuesday.

None of this joke-wait for response-another joke-another-response-finally set up date stuff.

 

[shizz702]

Do like some of the fellas here are suggesting and make one more attempt to see her, and if she responds great, if not move on. No need to overthink it if she doesn't respond her IL just wasn't that high. Don't beat yourself up over the text.