Talk Some Sense Into Me Guys, Struggling!

[soulforge]

You probably got hooked on her drama. If she was stubborn and didn't want to resolve things even after a petty argument, she probably left you emotionally stuck....she created in you a need to resolve the issue, but she was unwilling.....that need is still there. Accept that it's there, but let it die.

By the way, being stubborn and/or angry in my opinion is the only red flag that you need not to proceed. If you have someone who communicates like a spoiled child and not like an adult, you're fighting a losing battle.

She has nothing to offer you.

Are the things that are attracting you to her, qualities that you are missing?

If I were you:
Cut contact. (the need has to die, then you can see clearly)
Delete account from POF (take a break, you've got stung, let it heal)
Social life (how is your social life? How many clubs or activities are you involved in?
Walk (long walks, clear your mind)
Gym (like others have said)
Take a trip (weekend away)
plan your week ahead (fill your diary with activities and social events, think of the future, leave the past in the past)

Keep ya head up

here is the thing.. i am finding it difficult to make a decision.. some days i feel like i made the right choice.. and then some days i feel regret.. i feel like maybe i should have given her more time to calm down.. even tho i had given her a week to try and talk to me

i feel like reaching out, but there are a few things that are stopping me..


01. She seems stubborn & unwilling to try & resolve problems.. seems overly sensitive.. if i got back with her, it is absolutely inevitable that we will at some point have an argument & i could quite possibly end up in this situation all over again if she stops communicating..

02. She associates with & knows lots of men.. i can also see this becoming a problem or causing conflict in the future!

03. She has been back on POF for a couple of weeks.. there is a high probability she has banged some guys, or has jumped into a rebound.. if i reach out now, i could get rejected by her, which will slow down my healing process

04. I was dating her 4 months.. i may well get over her in another few months.. but if i get back with her & things go wrong, then i could be going through a whole lot of pain for much much longer!

It Just seems like a major risk now... i think my best bet is, i should take another month out of this & see how i feel then.. even if that means, she is gone for good

 

[soulforge]

Good. Get back to us in a month and stop torturing yourself.

My GF and I split 3 weeks ago, mutually agreed upon due to distance.

Since then, I spent 3 "get-togethers" with a 39 year old. Turns out she is quite religious and didn't show alot of interest. Kinda cold and indifferent.

So, haven't tried to get back with her.....moving on.

I have a date tomorrow night with a 37 year old.....we will see where that goes, if anywhere.

Point is...I ended a 2.5 year relationship and you never even heard about it. Since then, I have /am dating 2 different girls. You need to do the same!

I have had quite a few dates.. but nothing more than a few bangs came out of it.

As for torturing myself.. the longer i leave it, the more i feel like she could be gone for good.. but then again the no contact time may give me percpective on realising what is best for me..

 

[altec]

You have some good advice in this thread already but I will say this girl isn't right for you. Something is keeping her in your mind but it isn't her qualities or how perfect she is. I think you are feeling liked you failed and feeling the rejection. You are placing too much value on this girl. You won't have a positive long term relationship with her. No point in thinking about it nu more. It will take time but continue no contact and I agree, don't post sout her or analyze it with friends anymore. Give it some time and I am sure you will come to your senses.