Zap
Senior Don Juan
It's been a while since I'm posted some actual ADVICE on this board, instead of just questions. I think this is really important, and would do everyone good to read.
I notice a trend of following very rigid patterns and rules in dating. It seems to be that people around here have a bunch of algorithyms of sorts that they follow when dealing with women, regardless of other factors.
For example, if the girl does something that somehow shows "low-interest" she should be dumped. Or if she does something disrespectful, she should be dumped. And you should only get the phone number in a specific way.
You know what all of this is? Bull****. Pure bull****.
No two women are alike. Although after years of rejection and harsh treatment it may be comforting to assume this, but you're believing a lie. Sure, there may be patterns, there may be traits most share, but I promise you that ever single woman alive has certain features that break defy one expectation or another.
Treating every situation the same is a sure way to get nowhere... fast.
Let me give you a anecdotal example: About a month ago I ended up making out with this really hot girl I barely knew. She snuck me and my friend into her house late at night, and by the end we ended up in her bed getting into a little hanky-panky.
Now, AD and many others would have told me she was just using me, that she had little interest level by doing this. They would have said to dump her, not to waste my time. In fact, that's what I thought, and my expectations weren't very high. But I didn't let my assumptions, my math, decide my fate. I followed up on it, called her the next day, and we very soon had a relationship.
Who would have guessed? Who would have guessed that she *really* likes me, and doesn't play any games with me? Who would have guessed that now I'm in a great relationship, with someone I've been looking for for the past year?
Most of you would never imagine such I thing. I wouldn't. But I didn't give up just because something didn't go how I thought it should. Life isn't like that. People certainly aren't like that. There is no one-size-fits-all dating technique that one can apply to all women, all situations. It invariably depends on your character, who the woman is, how you met, etc.
Certainly there are some general rules, but these rules are always subject to be broken. Let them guide you, but don't let them rule you. Create your OWN destiny.
Phew, long post, thanks for reading the whole thing.
-Zap
I notice a trend of following very rigid patterns and rules in dating. It seems to be that people around here have a bunch of algorithyms of sorts that they follow when dealing with women, regardless of other factors.
For example, if the girl does something that somehow shows "low-interest" she should be dumped. Or if she does something disrespectful, she should be dumped. And you should only get the phone number in a specific way.
You know what all of this is? Bull****. Pure bull****.
No two women are alike. Although after years of rejection and harsh treatment it may be comforting to assume this, but you're believing a lie. Sure, there may be patterns, there may be traits most share, but I promise you that ever single woman alive has certain features that break defy one expectation or another.
Treating every situation the same is a sure way to get nowhere... fast.
Let me give you a anecdotal example: About a month ago I ended up making out with this really hot girl I barely knew. She snuck me and my friend into her house late at night, and by the end we ended up in her bed getting into a little hanky-panky.
Now, AD and many others would have told me she was just using me, that she had little interest level by doing this. They would have said to dump her, not to waste my time. In fact, that's what I thought, and my expectations weren't very high. But I didn't let my assumptions, my math, decide my fate. I followed up on it, called her the next day, and we very soon had a relationship.
Who would have guessed? Who would have guessed that she *really* likes me, and doesn't play any games with me? Who would have guessed that now I'm in a great relationship, with someone I've been looking for for the past year?
Most of you would never imagine such I thing. I wouldn't. But I didn't give up just because something didn't go how I thought it should. Life isn't like that. People certainly aren't like that. There is no one-size-fits-all dating technique that one can apply to all women, all situations. It invariably depends on your character, who the woman is, how you met, etc.
Certainly there are some general rules, but these rules are always subject to be broken. Let them guide you, but don't let them rule you. Create your OWN destiny.
Phew, long post, thanks for reading the whole thing.
-Zap
