suprising revalation.

[check_mate_kid_uk]

we all know practice make perfect, you want to be better at anything, say at holding a ocnversation or better at sport then practice will make you improve at it.

BUt how do you stop over anylising, how do you stop giving a dam aobut certain girls, surely practice will not make perfect here. But i found out it does.

You try and talk to girls oyu over anylise you make osmtinhg of nothing you chase a bit because you cant stop thinking about her.

Well i had done this a lot, always asking my freind what did such and such girl say to you about me, always over anylising. Then i came back to school after christmas with a new mentality iv had enough im gona take all my chances but not try and make any, im not going to give a dam.

This is not somthing you can just stop doing, it is through doing it many times you stop giving a dam. I just could not be bothered to anylise what a girl did anymore and stoped aksing my freind what guirls may have said about me.

and in this week i have talked to so many more girls because i stoped worying and took all my chances rather then trying to make some but messing up and missing the chances i already had.

since i stoped giving a dam this week the girls i like today said hi to me as i wlaked past, i said hi back, but no i was not my old self i did not ditch my freind to talk to the girls i caried on walking past and stayed with my freind.

I think part of why they said hi to me was not because i stoped talking to them and stoped checking them out but because of the social proof, as they saw me talking with a group of 6 girls the whole afternoon just me and them, yet i still have more guy freind, i ussaly hang around with guys.

(funnily enough there are not many groups with girls and guys in it so im ussaly hanging around with more or less all guys or all girls although 1 area in school we hang out in girls hang there to and we are all freinds as we are hanging out in the same place. )

 

[ToughGuy]

Hey Kid from UK.
you are not kid at all.

Good quote at the end of your post too,
Keep it up and sharing your rich experience.

yours

Tuffy

 

[WesCottII]

Originally posted by ToughGuy



Keep it up and sharing your rich experience.

.....just remind us, what are your experiences?

 

[Fender]

LMAO, nice remark Wescott.

Yeh, i feel ya checkmate. I use to analyse EVERYTHING in the most PAINFUL detail. I thought i was being smart and receptive.
Turned out I was just being dumb and retarded. Just be yourself and let the "flow" control what your actions and thoughts are

Luck-

 

[Stringz]

I really like this thread.

I see your point Fender, but there's this post by Allen called: "Why not just be yourself", which should really be considered here. It's probably ok for you and CMKUK and all the other more accomplished DJ's etc to "just be yourself" and "go with the flow" but I don't think it can really apply to everyone, especially those DJ's that are just starting out and haven't got any of their game together.

I mean some people find it hard to talk to women, period. And for them, it's important to come out of their shell and push it out there by studying this site and practising everything they've learned. Ie, to NOT be their usual self and to start doing things that normally isn't natural to them or with their everyday flow.

I think this site is truly amazing and even though generally, I'm a confident guy and don't have much of an issue approaching women and people, I have learnt a lot. Even now, I still get all nervous and hesitant when I see an HB that I want to approach. I even get hesitant when doing normal things like approaching someone on the street for directions. I've always been self-conscious and analytical, so when I know my feelings are irrational, I hate to wimp out and not "do it". So I push myself and just do it. Usually, it's not that bad at the end anyway.

But now, since I've been reading this site, I push myself even more! So in fact, all this analysis has worked! I wouldn't approach women, people, whatever if I didn't analyse myself and correct my irrational and just plain stupid thoughts. I've found, as a result, that these things are becoming so much more natural that I don't even have to think about it; or not think about it as much as I used to anyway. When I make eye contact with a HB, I just smile "without thinking about it". Sometimes she smiles back and sometimes she breaks her look first. Either way I come across exactly how I should be. But it's still a learning process though. Sometimes I fvck up and really kick myself. But so what? I think about what has happened and try not to keep making that mistake. But some analysis is essential.

My point is, until you've been practising and studying all the DJ skills, it's pretty important to analyse your game, both inner and outer game. Once it becomes natural, too much analysis is likely to drive you crazy. A lot of the analysis has already been done. It's just a matter of putting it into action and keep putting it into action. I think only then you can start "being your [newly developed DJ] self" and going with that flow.

Stringz