Summer before College

[adpreston1988]

Okay, so I've been with this forum most of senior year and have made so many new friends that I wouldn't have been able to make without the advice from this forum. I actually have girls attracted to me once again like in my middle school days when I had tons of confidence. However, a sort of situation has come up the past couple of weeks:

So this girl who I went to prom with and I have gotten closer and closer ever since prom. I just gave her a kiss the other night, but this relationship is starting to overwhelm me. You see I'm going to the University of Michigan in a few months for college and she's going to the University of San Diego. And don't forget the fact that it's the summer after senior year and I want to be able to hangout with as many girls as possible and not get stuck in a relationship. Plus, I don't want to get to close to someone that will be off to California in a couple of a months. Anyways, do you think I should just come right out and tell her that I don't want our relationship to get too serious or should I convey this by my actions? She wants to know if I want to go see a movie with her tonight, but some of my friends are going to hangout tonight and I think I'd rather hangout with them. I really do like this girl, but I don't like hanging out with her everyday. As far as I'm concerned I'm still single and can hangout with whoever I want. However, I have no idea how she views our relationship. So as you can see I'm really confused and am desperate for advice!

 

[j8snx1]

hey man.

i know what you mean; hold on til college then sarge on the college ladies in your campus riiight? that's a solid and rational plan, but i see no harm in taking it as far as you can with the girl you're with right now bro! You have at least a month and a half to do special and even more "special" things with her right? You have more time than you think so have fun before you leave for college!

 

[October]

Michigan Ann Arbor? Nice.

Not sure what your exact question is, but you could always opt to do the relationship under the condition that a long distance relationship isn't a desirable option around this age...so you would break up on good terms before you move on to college. A long distance relationship, to me, is generally not a desirable option at this age.

You can also tell her you're busy tonight or that you already have plans...there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Seems like from what you said, she wants to hook up. If you're unsure about the status of your relationship...do some kino, or do a kiss test, or something along those lines, and just see what happens. If you don't want a relationship, just tell her that you really like her, but that you don't want to get serious. If you use actions, she might get the impression that you're blowing her off...which is not necessarily a bad thing if that's what your intentions are.

I just graduated as well bro, congrats. I've been on this site for about four years though, and I'm getting nuts this summer with self-improvement. Reading philosophy, exercising a lot, working, and all of that good stuff...trying to get as solid as I can before college.

 

[adpreston1988]

So should I just basically tell her that I want to have an "open relationship" with her over the summer?? Is an "open relationship" the thing I'm looking for that I described in my post above?? Because I always hear the term, but I'm not exactly sure what it means.

 

[adpreston1988]

Okay, so I ended up having a long talk with her the other night. And basically what she told me was that she really likes me and would be jealous if I made out with random girls over the summer. These really weren't my intentions at all and I just told her that I just want to be able to hangout with other girls over the summer, and she was fine with that. Just last night I went to a dance club (which was sweet because I'm only 17 and got in with a fake ID) and was grinding on some girls I know from high school. I had a really good time, but I was just wondering do you think she would consider dancing with other girls "hanging out". It doesn't really matter since I don't really plan on telling her anyways, but at the same time I want to know if you think what I did was a bad or good move.

 

[ValleyDJing]

yeah just tell her straight up. You see no point in having a serious relationship...only to break it off in a couple months anyways. this crap just happened to me too man. moving to cali for college, leaving behind so many quality females. damn! haha! haha! good luck yo oh...and do it gently like make her think you really like her but...you know?

 

[Zerotwoonenine]

yea one thing i know is that long term relationships dont work, its damn well true, so what you want to do is try to get her in bed before uni, and just after you two get into the uni, tell her you found someone else.

 

[girlsarecrazy]

Don't get involved, if you start feeing uneasy when she goes out to parties without you then you should realize you've already went to far and ask her for some space.

My best friend didn't want to get in a relationship because of college... but he met the "girl of his dreams" and became seriously involved with her.

Mow as college is approaching, it's causing problems to both of their hearts and they are a mess.