Struggling to turn into an Alpha male

[viking22]

Ive come a long way since I was a shy, spotty teenager who couldn't talk to a girl without blushing.

Im still a nice guy but Ive learned to temper that with a backbone and no longer supplicate to women and gain a self reliance that means I am no longer as needy as I used to be. Im also good looking and work out which definitely helps.

But I can never seem to fully make the evolution into a dominant, aggressive, alpha male which seems to be the type of guy that chicks reallly go for. And while girls seem to enjoy sleeping with me, as I have a good body and know a few tricks; a lot of them start requesting me to be rough with them and while I play along my heart is not really in it. I once joked to a girl that when I was finished with her she'd need a wheelchair, and I swear I have never seen a girl's eyes light up so much in her life.

It makes me wonder.

This site can do wonders in the sense that it can help men learn to respect themselves, boost their confidence, not take crap from women, learn to flirt with girls, and get their life in order. And I truly believe that anyone who absorbs the teachings of this site and puts it into practice can really improve their success with women.

But while Im doing quite well with pretty girls (7s and 8s), these are usually girls who respond on some level to the nice guyness but appreciate that I am not needy, am good looking and am confident.

I would love to get some hotter girls and attract pretty girls on a more regular basis, but think its not so much my looks that are holding me back, but my failure to fully make the transition to alpha male.

Im worried perhaps it is just not my nature. I'm a mellow, laid back person and I just do not feel that aggression and desire to dominate.

Anyone else got any insight on this?

 

[Interceptor]

I believe a true Alpha Male dominates his Life. Not necessarily the women. However, I believe the right kind of woman will submit to a fair degree to the right kind of Alpha Male.
The women are attracted to a Man's positive and interesting Lifestyle and confident outlook on life.
.
Having confidence, sexual confidence, knowing women's inner qualities and sexual qualities, good body image,good physique, good posture, body consciousness, sexual charisma, and good communication are all good traits to have.

But bottom line, be comfortable with who you are. And always work on becoming the man you WANT to BE.

This means get your Life on the right track and the right women will appear.
Make sure you know absolutely what you want.
Girlfriends, Marriage, F*ck buddies, or ONS.

Realize that rejection will happen. Take everything in stride and don't lose control.
You won't click with every single woman out there, so don't expect much except for good interactions and showing who you really are to women.
And general advice:
Work on girls whom have High IL.
Don't over estimate IL.
Don't use your Ego in interactions.
Always escalate on those whom you are attracted to.
Bottom Line Actions NOT Words.
Don't listen to your Ego and try to bed HBs out of your league.
Don't pay attention to your Ego. Pay attention to the woman, and listen to your common sense in being a Man.

 

[backbreaker]

you conquer what you can control. You can't control women.. but you can control how you are preceived by women.

I don't know where people get this general IDEA that an alpha male walks around with a 16 pack abs, with an "Alpha Male" Tee shirt on and a baseball bet.. you know, just in case he has to prove how "alpha" he really is.

Being Alpha is different for everyone. If you ask everyone here, you will get over 1000 different resonses. To me, and I would think the general meaning, is not needing anyone else to make yourself happy, and that doesn't reffer to women either. I know plenty of guys who think they are the **** because they don't need women, they have women chasing them.. yet they stay at home with mommy and have no job, nor want to find one.

I don't need anyone. When I do find someone that peeks my interest, she is 90% of the time on the peek of a cliff, I can push her off at any time, because i have proven to myself time and time again what makes me happy.. I MAKE MYSELF HAPPY. My actions and my actions alone, are the result of my happiness.

That natrual "take it or leave it" attitue is what you stive for, but alot of people go about it the wrong way. you can tell yourself you don' tneed something until you are blue in the face, but if you have nothing else going for you, it's just as silly as chanting "I'm in shape, i'm in shape" when you have a body fat of 30%... it's just not true, and you know it.

Sit down, figure out what really makes you tick. What you like. What are your dislikes. Make a map of your life, what you want it to be like. Once you are on that path, women find a way of hitching a ride, that's the best way i can describe it.

 

[KoalaKing]

What do you mean by an aggressive AlphaMale.

 

[darwinian_sympathiser]

This site can do wonders in the sense that it can help men learn to respect themselves, boost their confidence, not take crap from women, learn to flirt with girls, and get their life in order. And I truly believe that anyone who absorbs the teachings of this site and puts it into practice can really improve their success with women.

This site cannot turn anyone into an Alpha Male - you either have the potential in you or you don't. And Alpha Male, by definition, is a status conferred by others (your subordinates), it is not something YOU confer onto YOURSELF. You can try and fake it, but females have evolved strategies to see through this.

Also being an Alpha Male is not guarantee that you GET the woman you WANT. It just means a higher percentage of women are attracted to you. Meeting women, finding a special person and hoping she returns your affections does not require you to be an Alpha Male.

The concept of Alpha Male has been used, and abused, by scam artists like DeAngelo, Strauss, etc . . . as a simple concept to sell their products

 

[backbreaker]

The concept of Alpha Male has been used, and abused, by scam artists like DeAngelo, Strauss, etc . . . as a simple concept to sell their products

very much true.

 

[L777]

Ive come a long way since I was a shy, spotty teenager who couldn't talk to a girl without blushing.

Im still a nice guy but Ive learned to temper that with a backbone and no longer supplicate to women and gain a self reliance that means I am no longer as needy as I used to be. Im also good looking and work out which definitely helps.

But I can never seem to fully make the evolution into a dominant, aggressive, alpha male which seems to be the type of guy that chicks reallly go for. And while girls seem to enjoy sleeping with me, as I have a good body and know a few tricks; a lot of them start requesting me to be rough with them and while I play along my heart is not really in it. I once joked to a girl that when I was finished with her she'd need a wheelchair, and I swear I have never seen a girl's eyes light up so much in her life.

It makes me wonder.

This site can do wonders in the sense that it can help men learn to respect themselves, boost their confidence, not take crap from women, learn to flirt with girls, and get their life in order. And I truly believe that anyone who absorbs the teachings of this site and puts it into practice can really improve their success with women.

But while Im doing quite well with pretty girls (7s and 8s), these are usually girls who respond on some level to the nice guyness but appreciate that I am not needy, am good looking and am confident.

I would love to get some hotter girls and attract pretty girls on a more regular basis, but think its not so much my looks that are holding me back, but my failure to fully make the transition to alpha male.

Im worried perhaps it is just not my nature. I'm a mellow, laid back person and I just do not feel that aggression and desire to dominate.

Anyone else got any insight on this?

I don't think you can learn this man. Do you work out....it will increase testosterone, as will Zinc pills the 'T ring', lots of sleep, not masturbating etc.

Apart from this I really don't think you can force yourself to be more 'alpha'.

 

[L777]

Don't listen to your Ego and try to bed HBs out of your league.
.

What!?

This is the most limiting piece of advice I've ever heard....and your post was great until then.

DO go for girls 'outa your league'....what have you got to lose?

Having said that, if you've improved yourself as much as possible and you are decent looking at least....very few women will be out of your league anyway....real men are hard to find nowadays...most women will be glad to have you hit on them.

I'd personally love the chance to game some celebrities at a party or something...I genuinely think I could get laid with someone that high value.

 

[Interceptor]

I never said High Value Women. I stuck to the standard defintion of PHYSICALLY attractive HB9/10.
(which BTW for me, is not that attractive if they have a *****y attitude, inflexible, takers, jaded, snooty, and don't even have a freakin' hobby or something interesting to talk about. Now I know that I look at much of this from a more GF/Relationship POV rather than ONS. So I will concede that.)

I did imply that if you have not achieved a certain level (Do you have a Job? Do you have a car? Do you drive? Do you live with Mom? Do you spend most of your time playing Xbox???), then you will not necessarily click with females whom are not on your current level.
In simple terms, if your a 5, don't think automatically you will attract an HB 9/10, cause you've faked "Alpha".
Now you may be a High Value 5 Guy (an HV, Alpha 5 possibly, which is great) , but you may only find a High Value HB5/6/7. (and of course, even better if she is really attracted to you) And NOT a High Value 9/10.

It's not limiting, it's being realistic.
(if you can't fly, would anyone advocate jumping off a bridge to test out their 'confidence'?)
Like making sure you don't go for women whom aren't attracted to you.(Unless you're a Masochist. Or like being rejected and a door mat for some HB, because you like her, well.........just cuz she's "hot")
If the OP, and/or any other guy in here is just not at a cetain level in his life, do you advocate that he go out of his normal frame and go for women whom will know instinctively that he does not possess enough "Game" or HV for her?
I don't.

Makes more sense now?
I would also like to clear up that my point of view is not Self Limiting, because the notion is NOT "I am NOT Worthy!!!, it IS understanding attraction, and what and how women are attracted. And if you do NOT have "it" or enough of "it", it doesn't make sense to me to advise one to go after that which is not in your "league", because you're simply not ready YET.


Anyway, just my thoughts, that's all. You don't have to agree, but for me, physical beauty does not equal High Value. And "Halo" effect no longer works on me. I know my value, my game, and my limitations. I just advocate for other men to know the same in themselves. It makes for a better world. If this works for you ,great. If not, no problem.
Just trying to help.

 

[L777]

I never said High Value Women. I stuck to the standard defintion of PHYSICALLY attractive HB9/10.
(which BTW for me, is not that attractive if they have a *****y attitude, inflexible, takers, jaded, snooty, and don't even have a freakin' hobby or something interesting to talk about. Now I know that I look at much of this from a more GF/Relationship POV rather than ONS. So I will concede that.)

I did imply that if you have not achieved a certain level (Do you have a Job? Do you have a car? Do you drive? Do you live with Mom? Do you spend most of your time playing Xbox???), then you will not necessarily click with females whom are not on your current level.
In simple terms, if your a 5, don't think automatically you will attract an HB 9/10, cause you've faked "Alpha".
Now you may be a High Value 5 Guy (an HV, Alpha 5 possibly, which is great) , but you may only find a High Value HB5/6/7. (and of course, even better if she is really attracted to you) And NOT a High Value 9/10.

It's not limiting, it's being realistic.
(if you can't fly, would anyone advocate jumping off a bridge to test out their 'confidence'?)
Like making sure you don't go for women whom aren't attracted to you.(Unless you're a Masochist. Or like being rejected and a door mat for some HB, because you like her, well.........just cuz she's "hot")
If the OP, and/or any other guy in here is just not at a cetain level in his life, do you advocate that he go out of his normal frame and go for women whom will know instinctively that he does not possess enough "Game" or HV for her?
I don't.

Makes more sense now?
I would also like to clear up that my point of view is not Self Limiting, because the notion is NOT "I am NOT Worthy!!!, it IS understanding attraction, and what and how women are attracted. And if you do NOT have "it" or enough of "it", it doesn't make sense to me to advise one to go after that which is not in your "league", because you're simply not ready YET.


Anyway, just my thoughts, that's all. You don't have to agree, but for me, physical beauty does not equal High Value. And "Halo" effect no longer works on me. I know my value, my game, and my limitations. I just advocate for other men to know the same in themselves. It makes for a better world. If this works for you ,great. If not, no problem.
Just trying to help.

Yea fair enough, I imagine I'd have a hard time getting a Hb10 28 yr old London Barrister or something, considering I'm a poor 20 yr old student. Hb 9/10 broke students are definitely in my league though.

I also reckon there will be a time in my life when no woman is out of my league.

 

[darwinian_sympathiser]

Yea fair enough, I imagine I'd have a hard time getting a Hb10 28 yr old London Barrister or something, considering I'm a poor 20 yr old student. Hb 9/10 broke students are definitely in my league though.

I also reckon there will be a time in my life when no woman is out of my league.

Incorrect: There are always women out of your league. That's why we have something known as personal preferences. It's nothing personal in that sense, it's just the way it is. There are those women that, for whatever reason, don't find you at all attractive, and nothing you can do can change that. Just the way life is. Ironically, this selective preference mechanism is also what keeps people together.

Of course you can attract a Hb10 28 year old barrister - if she has the hots for you your status probably does not matter that much. Point is, you don't know what a woman goes for when you meet her, but you can probably find out over time if you are able to be around her long enough.

 

[L777]

Incorrect: There are always women out of your league. That's why we have something known as personal preferences. It's nothing personal in that sense, it's just the way it is. There are those women that, for whatever reason, don't find you at all attractive, and nothing you can do can change that. Just the way life is. Ironically, this selective preference mechanism is also what keeps people together.

Of course you can attract a Hb10 28 year old barrister - if she has the hots for you your status probably does not matter that much. Point is, you don't know what a woman goes for when you meet her, but you can probably find out over time if you are able to be around her long enough.

Individual women yea, such as married women etc.

But I reckon somewhere between 25 and 40 I will get to a point where no group of single women is out of my leagus in terms of looks, social status etc.

I fully expect to be banging hb10 models and ballet dancers and s.hit as I mature into my 20s.

 

[darwinian_sympathiser]

Individual women yea, such as married women etc.

Incorrect yet again. You just don't get it do you? Let me be more severe like I was in another thread that got deleted and the poster mixed up my words:

There are women that you meet who are just NOT going to be attracted to you. Deal with it. It's called growing up. Nothing to be ashamed of. This site, apart from a few posters, seems to encourage the view that you can get anyone you want given the right technique. I'm sorry, attraction just does not work that way. It's highly complex, so complex that we never managed to formalize it properly (more about that later some day).

Bang as many women you want, but there are always going to be a few that you can't have. That's the way it goes. I've had my share, and I've refused some stunning HBs (according to other people) because I just was not into them - for whatever reasons. If I were to be honest it was because I didn't find them a turn on.

 

[backbreaker]

the man has a point. I consider myself to be a catch, and although I doubt any woman will just say I repluse them.. there are some that I just don't do "it" for.. and there are some what other men will find attractive women out there, that just dont' do "it" for me.

however, the key is not to use this as an excuse to say fvck it, i have no hope.

 

[L777]

Incorrect yet again. You just don't get it do you? Let me be more severe like I was in another thread that got deleted and the poster mixed up my words:

There are women that you meet who are just NOT going to be attracted to you. Deal with it. It's called growing up. Nothing to be ashamed of. This site, apart from a few posters, seems to encourage the view that you can get anyone you want given the right technique. I'm sorry, attraction just does not work that way. It's highly complex, so complex that we never managed to formalize it properly (more about that later some day).

Bang as many women you want, but there are always going to be a few that you can't have. That's the way it goes. I've had my share, and I've refused some stunning HBs (according to other people) because I just was not into them - for whatever reasons. If I were to be honest it was because I didn't find them a turn on.

YOU don't get it. Stop posting 'incorrect' as if what you're saying is set in stone

YES like I said some women WILL NOT BE ATTRACTED. But I'm saying there's no particular TYPE of women that I won't be able to get. Obvsiously some individual women wont be attracted, but I don't expect to not be able to get "X" type of women in general, eg. models, cos I'm not rich enough for them/ good looking enough/whatever. Obviously I won't be able to bang EVERY model, no guy could claim that....but that particular type of woman, in this case, very good looking ones that get paid to pose on magazine covers, is still withing my grasp, and I will be able to bang SOME models. Thats what I'm saying....it ain't that hard to understand.

I thought I made this perfectly clear before....maybe you should read the post propery before getting on your high horse mate.

 

[darwinian_sympathiser]

Individual women yea, such as married women etc.

notice very carefully that you empathized the married term as a excuse that you can't get the woman in question, indirectly implying if the person was not married you could have gotten her. Hence my "incorrect" is valid. I was merely pointing out the fact that you will meet certain women who are just not going to be into you - for whatever reasons. I did not mention TYPE, or did my say your social status, intelligence, accent etc. . . came into it. They will just not be into you - end of story. So for example you could meet 10 models and 1 or 2 will not be into you, how you deal with that is your business.

And please don't try to treat women as a group, a relationship is always a one to one affair.

 

[L777]

notice very carefully that you empathized the married term as a excuse that you can't get the woman in question, indirectly implying if the person was not married you could have gotten her. Hence my "incorrect" is valid. I was merely pointing out the fact that you will meet certain women who are just not going to be into you - for whatever reasons. I did not mention TYPE, or did my say your social status, intelligence, accent etc. . . came into it. They will just not be into you - end of story. So for example you could meet 10 models and 1 or 2 will not be into you, how you deal with that is your business.

And please don't try to treat women as a group, a relationship is always a one to one affair.

You don't get me mate, fair enough. I wouldn't expect anyone who mixes up "empathized" (actually spelt empathised) with "emphasised", and uses the term "a excuse" to get my point though. So much for making yourself look intellegent by being garrulous (look it up).

 

[darwinian_sympathiser]

L777,

Point 1: I never take this site seriously, hence you will see typos etc, . . on my part, from this you will know that my profession places very little importance on correct spelling

Point 2: I was trying to tell you that you sound like someone who's totally unrealistic, over optimistic. What I was trying to tell you, if you bother to read between the lines, is life gives you what she gives you. When you try to impose choice on the matter you get screwed

Point 3: your reply: "but that particular type of woman, in this case, very good looking ones that get paid to pose on magazine covers, is still withing my grasp" smacks of sexual status aggression, see Demond Morris's Naked Ape triology. You don't want to love, you want to bang something of note and brag about it to your friends

Point 4: young individuals who have never been in a long term relationship talk about "alpha" status and "I'll get to bang anyone I want with enough time as I get more money, further in my career", and to me these people probably hate women. They just want to use them as status symbols, and I find that repulsive.

Point 5: "But I'm saying there's no particular TYPE of women that I won't be able to get" Then I can say this about anyone really, but then doesn't that make it a nullified statement?