Strange turn of events!!!!

[TheLadiesMan]

Got a call from my son's mother... she said she's willing to give me Shared Parenting, visitation, lower child support, legal rights, everything I wanted at the mediation.......

....if I drop my Shared Parenting case, and drop the Guardian Ad Litem.

She told me her attorney will work out the paper work, and I can have it checked, and we can get it notarized. Everything on the up and up.

Very strange... a part of me wants to believe she sees the errors of her ways... but another part of me wonders what she's really got to hide?

 

[jophil28]

She is afraid of some event that she believes will befall her if you proceeded with your case..She and her lawyer have run a cost/ benefit analysis of going head to head with you, and she accepts that the costs of defending will outweigh the benefits which may flow to her.
At this point your adversary usually tries to extract brownie points by claimimg to " being reasonable." In effect, they have capitulated.

In regard to her "seeing the error of her ways .."
I consulted the Guinness Book of Records. There is NO entry in it where a woman is recorded as ever admitting that she made an 'error'.

 

[Da Realist]

I say get everything you can. I doubt she's looking out for your best interest, so why make a deal when everything is in your favor?

Two stories come to mind about compromise. One is when a king decided to spare another king's life after he took over his territory. The king who lost was taken in by another kingdom, rose up through the ranks, and attacked the same man who defeated him earlier. Did he show the guy the same mercy? Of course not. He knew if he left him alive he could do the same thing.

Another was how King Phillip took over much of Greece. He'd take over a city, come up with a compromise with some of the other kings, and then would take over another place when things died down. He kept it up till he took over most of the region.

So I say if it's not going kill you financially to keep the trial going, get everything you asked for. She's not looking out for you or for the kid from what I've read. She may call you unreasonable, but remember if she is one who listens to reason herself.

 

[Warrior74]

my years of watching law and order have taught me that pleas and deals are bluffs of the weak position. Either she is bleeding money on this, or hiding something. Stall, dig deep and figure out what it is before you agree.

 

[WaterTiger]

DO! NOT! DROP! ANYTHING!



This is some kind of ploy! Some kind of trick! Keep the Ad Litem & your shared parenting case going. You want everything the judge will give you, not what the crumbs she dusts off the table on the floor for you.

I would not trust this woman a sincle inch. You're fighting for the life of your son. Don't give up to take the easy out now.

....She's willing to give you....fux that crap!

 

[LovelyLady]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I agree!!!!!



DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A COURT ORDER is what you need, not anything notorized outside of what YOUR ATTORNEY okays and presents to the court. It is time you start LEADING this train and not her attorney and certainly not her.

She will offer all kinds of things to engage you conversation just so she can gather information - it is a tactic.

There is nothing wrong with being a grown up and having an attorney on YOUR team. This IS a legal matter - treat it that way - she has proven that she is not trustworthy when she negotiates, unfortunately. AVOID talking to her anymore - have her call her lawyer or write you letters. Verbal manipulating is her weapon - it must be removed from her arsenal. No more negotiating directly with her - you are too busy, it hasn't been productive in the past. enough.

Also, if you drop your case and the G.A . the courts will be pissed if you decide you want it again later
It will make you look unstable

 

[countermart]

This happened to me too only it was 10 minutes before the court case was due. They caved in and gave me everything I wanted after costing me $14 000 to get to that point (after spending that much I had gotten rid of my lawyer and was now representing myself).

I deliberately disputed several minor things (Christmas change over time etc) and forced them into court. Originally they were trying to give me two hours of supervised visitation a week, with no supporting grounds for why they wanted this (other than both of them are *****es from hell! Ex is BPD (Borderline)).

The magistrate gave her lawyer a dressing down for how she handled the case. He gave me the three nights per week plus half holidays that I wanted and told her lawyer that if they brought a case to court again like this she would have a very hard time substantiating anything. In other words the lawyer’s credibility was down the toilet.

Now with orders, whenever the ex starts being difficult again I fall back on the orders and say any time you’re ready lets go back to court...her lawyer is reluctant to do it again lol.

I am not sure of the legal situation in your area but generally:

1. Continue your open legal case.
2. Ask her lawyer to write up the orders that can be agreed and presented to the court to form the basis of the final court orders over your child.
3. Run what is written up past your lawyer and sign the agreement together. Your lawyer will have the correct forms for this.
4. This written up agreement plus any remaining matters that cannot be agreed should be presented to the court.
5. The court will determine anything that cannot be agreed upon to complete the Final Orders.

If you get everything you want prior and it is signed and written up correctly the parties need only go into court, state that the orders have been agreed upon and these are presented to the court to make the Final Orders that you two will work with, in the future.

Court orders are very useful when dealing with a crazy woman. Basically you can vary them if you both agree but if she starts to cause problems you fall back on the court orders.

Do not end this process without getting court orders. If you do she will stuff you around again in future and you will be back to square one having to re-open a court case.

If she is going to cave in then the process to get the Final Orders is very simple and may see you before a magistrate for five minutes.

Good luck,
Countermart

 

[penkitten]

i agree, do not take her offer. do not. call your attorney about this!

the guardian ad litem will fight for the best interests of your child. not hers, not yours, but your sons. she stands to loose control if she enters a courtroom where a guardian ad litem will be standing in front of the same judge. she could also loose custody of him to you.

if you drop your attorney , the guardian ad litem and the court case... she may renig on whatever you were supposed to get, or have her attorney throw some clause into whatever you sign, or plain out be trying to hide something.

she is not being nice and feeling the error in her ways.
she stands to loose this case, and she still has to pay her attorney even if she looses.

you know, even horrible people have attorneys that defend them all the way into a courtroom. hers is telling her that it is in her best interest to "offer" you what you want. when you get into court, her attorney is going to say "but judge on 9-11 we offered him everything he asked for and thought it sounded reasonable and he drug us in here anyhow just to waste your time and we feel that he is now being unreasonable"

and that is when you need your attorney to say "i advised my client not to partake in any of these shanghais and to just come before you today."

and the guardian ad litem will say "i feel it is in the best interest of this child to have ... equal time with both parents OR live with his father"

 

[steve38]

In regard to her "seeing the error of her ways .."
I consulted the Guinness Book of Records. There is NO entry in it where a woman is recorded as ever admitting that she made an 'error'.

LMAO. But you are wrong, sir. And it is in regard to each time a gold-digging ho meets a DJ. "I had no idea he was such a jerk."