Straight Frame Challenge

[Jareamee]

I’m pretty sure I just experienced the frame challenge with a new plate.

I’ve seen her twice. We had sex on the second date (2 nights ago). It was great. Everything ended well blah blah.
Today I message her and say:

Me: Come over Thursday night. I want to see you again. I’m free after 8:30

Her: I have an exam and work this week so I won’t be free until next week

Her: Also, I’d rather you give me the courtesy of asking if I want to do something or go somewhere instead of deciding on it yourself and telling me about it

I’m positive this is her trying to get me to submit to her and have dominance over me and to be a beta, correct?

My plan is just to not even respond to that ridiculous text.

 

[guru1000]

She’s right. You’re not socially calibrated to the rapport that you and she have.

“Come over” doesn’t calibrate well for a third date if you had just banged her on the second. You popped her cherry, she may have a bit buyer’s remorse (ASD), and instead of assauging, you hit her with “come over (so I can bang you again)”

This is no frame battle. She just needs finesse.

 

[Jareamee]

She’s right. You’re not socially calibrated to the rapport that you and she have.

“Come over” doesn’t calibrate well for a third date if you had just banged her on the second. You popped her cherry, she may have a bit buyer’s remorse (ASD), and instead of assauging, you hit her with “come over (so I can bang you again)”

This is no frame battle. She just needs finesse.

Yea I can get where you’re coming from and appreciate the feedback. However, her sending a text like that is definitely a turn off and takes the wind out of the sails.

 

[guru1000]

Yea I can get where you’re coming from and appreciate the feedback. However, her sending a text like that is definitely a turn off and takes the wind out of the sails.

You’re right too. She’s socially uncalibrated as well. She could have finessed a retort and got her point across without burning bridges. Problem with expecting young hot women to have finesse is (1) they never needed to learn as they are high in demand regardless; 2) women are fueled by emotions that incite at the moment, so you will often be subject to emotional responses. That’s the nature of women. The sooner you understand their nature, the sooner you will accept women as they are and learn how to harness their emotional states to your advantage.

 

[Jareamee]

You’re right too. She’s socially uncalibrated as well. She could have finessed a retort and got her point across without burning bridges. Problem with expecting young hot women to have finesse is (1) they never needed to learn as they are high in demand regardless; 2) women are fueled by emotions that incite at the moment, so you will often be subject to emotional responses. That’s the nature of women. The sooner you understand their nature, the sooner you will accept women as they are and learn how to harness their emotional states to your advantage.

So I could take her or leave her right now because of that message. But more plates are better than less.
Not to mention she wanted to change restaurants on my original suggestion previously. This makes me suspect she has a few ‘issues’ comcerning control and could be more of a headache rather than a smooth easy time.

Yes, I could have suggested a date and all that, but I didn’t use my finesse, as you say, because after I had sex with her I realized my interest isn’t super high aside from sexual. If I had more interest, yea I’d plan a date and care a bit more, but I don’t.

I like learning these things.
So Guru what would the right play be now? Sticking with no response as my original thought, and take from this instance to maybe just implement more finesse, even if my overall interest is low for the sake of keeping a hot bodied plate?

 

[guru1000]

So I could take her or leave her right now because of that message. But more plates are better than less.
Not to mention she wanted to change restaurants on my original suggestion previously. This makes me suspect she has a few ‘issues’ comcerning control and could be more of a headache rather than a smooth easy time.

Yes, I could have suggested a date and all that, but I didn’t use my finesse, as you say, because after I had sex with her I realized my interest isn’t super high aside from sexual. If I had more interest, yea I’d plan a date and care a bit more, but I don’t.

I like learning these things.
So Guru what would the right play be now? Sticking with no response as my original thought, and take from this instance to maybe just implement more finesse, even if my overall interest is low for the sake of keeping a hot bodied plate?

Many approaches.

I’d go with Silence and Distance. Wait a week. She’s busy anyway as she states. She may reach out which would be strong frame for you. If not, text her in a week inviting her to meet you at XYZ (not your place) at 8pm. Then have one drink and take her right back to your place for the pounding of a lifetime. Make sure you punish her by repeating back what she texted you in a sarcastic way while you pound her into oblivion.

 

[Jareamee]

Many approaches.

I’d go with Silence and Distance. Wait a week. She’s busy anyway as she states. She may reach out which would be strong frame for you. If not, text her in a week inviting her to meet you at XYZ (not your place) at 8pm. Then have a drink and take her right to your place, and give her the pounding of a lifetime.

Good call. Thanks again for your advice; always on point I’m starting to see through all your other posts too.

Where have you done most of your learning aside from personal experience. Which books, articles, etc?

 

[guru1000]

Good call. Thanks again for your advice; always on point I’m starting to see through all your other posts too.

Where have you done most of your learning aside from personal experience. Which books, articles, etc?

No books. No mentors. No teachings.

Just 1000+ dates.

 

[cola]

She's a b*itch. F*ck her..

 

[Jareamee]

She's a b*itch. F*ck her..

Hahah
Oh?

 

[ohrein]

She's definitely trying to wear the pants. I think ignoring is the best bet. The baller reply would be "No". Hahaha.

 

[Murk]

Guru was right in the first post, you lacked finesse here.

If she was VERY high interest - you can get away with that caveman sh!t. A blunt "come over on X I want to see you" so early, works only if you laid that pipe down proper and general vibes were on point (pro tip: they were not).

You still have to game her, you're celebrating only to realise the finish line is not in sight.

Don't treat her like a wh0re - unless that what you want her as. They pick up on that.

 

[AJ84]

Guru was right in the first post, you lacked finesse here.

If she was VERY high interest - you can get away with that caveman sh!t. A blunt "come over on X I want to see you" so early, works only if you laid that pipe down proper and general vibes were on point (pro tip: they were not).

You still have to game her, you're celebrating only to realise the finish line is not in sight.

Don't treat her like a wh0re - unless that what you want her as. They pick up on that.

100% agree. You basically did a flat out booty call. Yes she gave it up after the second date but that 'come over after 8:30' line sent the message that this was going to be a hook up arrangement and she doesn't seem to want to establish that. It's not necessarily about frame, it may be about her not wanting to become nothing more than your sperm deposit.

But if that's what you are looking for, and don't want to spend time trying to build rapport then move on to someone who is ok with just being a hook up for you.

 

[flowtheory]

Note: *this is Jaramee; I changed my profile name*

I can understand this. I was more-so just being straight to the point and it was an off the cuff text, however I can tell she is a bit of work.

Also, she is wanting to leave to live in Italy for a year, in two months.. So putting in large amounts of work isn’t my top priority with her. To me, yes I lacked the finnesse to ‘woo’ her, which I can easily do and have done, excluding the recent text. However at the same token, it does show she is wanting to wear the pants and isn’t as easy-going as I hoped. Plus, every time we have gone out she always wants to pay for herself (which is ideal) but for the reason of: “I don’t want to be indebted to a guy and have to owe him sex”. So there are a few levels to her which are a bit jaded and like to generalize how men are; seems as though she’s been used and abused here and there.

I’ll text her in a week and take her for ice cream, finnesse the hell out of it all, then dispense my own on her t!ts.

 

[Roober]

You seem a bit desperate too. You banged her Monday, ask her on Wednesday to come over on Thursday. Try to stick to once a week, or you just look like a horny toad with nothing better going on in your life.

I would typically use a week or more to build sexual tension and being goofy in chat. And during this time your finding other women too and focusing on your priorities. I cant tell you how many women I have heard complain about men and their desperation tactics. They get attached way too quickly...

 

[flowtheory]

You seem a bit desperate too. You banged her Monday, ask her on Wednesday to come over on Thursday. Try to stick to once a week, or you just look like a horny toad with nothing better going on in your life.

I would typically use a week or more to build sexual tension and being goofy in chat. And during this time your finding other women too and focusing on your priorities. I cant tell you how many women I have heard complain about men and their desperation tactics. They get attached way too quickly...

Haha okay. Good call; noted. I don’t feel I came off, or gave the idea of desperation with my text as the last time we hung out was Sunday. So I suggested Thursday because I’m going out for drinks with a new friend/network person and will probably be a bit tipsy then ready to hit some tail afterwards, and figured I would try to line it up (it’s the start to my weekend)

 

[flowtheory]

After you guys have sex wth a girl for the first time - within the first three dates. When do you reach out to the woman, if she doesn’t first. And what do you generally say?

 

[ohrein]

After you guys have sex wth a girl for the first time - within the first three dates. When do you reach out to the woman, if she doesn’t first. And what do you generally say?

The next day. Usually say was fun last night, hopefully see you soon or you can try book another date if it went really well. If she's putting out, no need to play the hard game, in fact it can work against you depending on the girl.

 

[guru1000]

After you guys have sex wth a girl for the first time - within the first three dates. When do you reach out to the woman, if she doesn’t first. And what do you generally say?

Next day text serves your odds greatest as the emotional high of the date has not yet been forgotten.

I always go with, “Hey, had a great time with you last time night! Let’s do it again Thur night if you’re free.”

Anything other than a yes or counteroffer with a specific day, silence & distance until (and if) she reaches out.

 

[darksprezzatura]

She's definitely trying to wear the pants. I think ignoring is the best bet. The baller reply would be "No". Hahaha.

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