Still want my ex...

[Dominus]

No, I'm not asking for advice on how to get my ex back.

Now, we all know the standard advice (here, at least) for getting over an ex, right? All together now:
"Find/**** X other women"

Yeah, well, I've done that. I'm dating a gorgeous girl who's really into me. Only problem is she'll be going back home soon, which is 2 hours away, which is too far for anything serious. But until then, we're having a blast. So, I found a girl.

And (and this pains me to admit) she's actually the first girl I've had sex with. Yeah, I've been reading the stuff here for years, and I just lost my virginity a month ago. Not for lack of opportunities, but due to the vagaries of stastics and a peculiar medical history for my family (my parents should have won the lottery and been abducted by aliens, on the same day, before they conceived me). Basically, I've been playing it safe and doing the responsible thing my entire life.

So, I'm with a beautiful girl. I've got other girls lined up for when I go back to college.
[tangent] Say all women are insane to a girl. Wait for her to say that she's sane. Then say that, if she's really sane, you want a date. [/tangent]
Problem is, I still want to be with the ex. She's not as good as the other girls. Outclassed in every respect by at least 1 of the girls. But she's the one I think about when I let my mind wander. She's the girl that I dream about (and the only girl I've ever actually dreamed about). She's the only girl I honestly think I've loved.

So, what gives? Its been a year since we've been together, and our relationship didn't last that long to begin with. She wasn't spectacular, just okay. I'm with a better girl now. I've got others lined up, should the need arise.

I want to be over her, but, at the same time, I'm afraid of being over her (not sure quite why, either). But, my longing is doing nothing by holding me down and getting me into a little bit of trouble with the others.

Advice?

I'm tempted to just go straight to my ex and tell her all this. Tell her how I feel about her, and that I don't want to feel that way anymore, and ask for her help in killing my feelings for her. I got no idea what would happen if I were to do that, other than probably make her feel real awkward, so I'm not eager to do it (but it could be really funny).

 

[snintel]

I didn't read all of that, but I'll just say that it's easy to dump and move on past the typical girl, but if you find one with a special personality who you really have chemistry with, its difficult to lose her because she has much higher value. Doesn't mean you should get depressed and let her own your emotions, but I can understand losing something valuable.

 

[Lost In the Seas]

ya it's real depressing with situations like that, there's just this one girl that you have such a deep bond and connection with all the other hotter and prettier girls dont even matter

if you haven't been in contact with her for such a long time, and outta the blue you just go up and tell her how you still feel towards her - it's just plain akward and won't work

a much safer approach is to get in contact with her again, have some casual cafe convo meetings, catch up with a movie or two etc, just start things in the friends way and see how she still feels towards you

 

[squirrels]

Find another woman.

You have no perspective.

 

[Dominus]

Originally posted by squirrels
Find another woman.

You have no perspective.

You obviously didn't read the ****ing post, or you would've notice that I have found another woman. Several, in fact.

 

[Dominus]

Originally posted by Lost In the Seas
ya it's real depressing with situations like that, there's just this one girl that you have such a deep bond and connection with all the other hotter and prettier girls dont even matter

if you haven't been in contact with her for such a long time, and outta the blue you just go up and tell her how you still feel towards her - it's just plain akward and won't work

a much safer approach is to get in contact with her again, have some casual cafe convo meetings, catch up with a movie or two etc, just start things in the friends way and see how she still feels towards you

Well, I see her on a semi-regular basis (at least once a week), as we both work for the same company (thankfully in different departments).

I actually did go to the movies with her a couple months back, but it didn't work quite as well as I planned (nothing bad happened, but then, nothing good happened either). After that, she got real distant.

I can say with a good degree of certainty that she's lost interest in me.