Still a little pissed...opinions please

[Rubirosa]

For all you POMS out there "Pissed" as in angry, not drunk...........
I like to go out on Thursdays w/ my 2 friends (a couple) to a local dance spot.
Early on, I see two cute women standing alone, so I decide to go over and strike up a conversation. I totally charm both of them and take the cuter one(Nancy) out on the dance floor for a few songs. After dancing, I take her out to the patio where I proceed to talk to her more.
I can tell she's totally into me...there's zero problem working her. As we're talking, my friends, the couple, pass by, so I stop them and make introductions all around. My friends then move on.
All of a sudden, with the understatement of a freight train, her friend that she was with earlier, along with another female, rush up to us and start their female talk....then grab her arm and say let's dance (to her, not to me). They literally yank her away. In a flash she's gone.
I go back in and sit with my friends. I can see her out on the floor w/ her friends....whatever. I check out other "scenery" as well.
Later, I spot her standing alone for about 10 seconds before some guy's on her. My friend is like "Hey, she's over there and some guy's trying to work her !" I say "She should seek me out instead. I'm not going to initiate contact again-it's up to her this time".
A short time later, I see her out on the dance floor with a different guy. They dance song after song, and they are really dancing sexy with each other. This is going on right in front of my friends and I. They're like................................"Isn't she the one you introduced us to earlier ?"
Now I feel somewhat embarrased. I feel like a rejected chump. I don't really have a reason to be "angry" with her because she was not "mine" anyway, but I still felt dissed because it was happening in front of me as I was sitting right there with my friends. I felt however that this chick was going to contact me before the night ended. I go to the bathroom. Her friend (the one that dragged her away), stops me and asks "Why did you leave my friend ?" I can't believe what I hear....I'm like "I didn't leave her...you guys snatched her away "
I go back to my friend and watch Nancy grind away on the dance floor with the same guy. I did dance a few songs with another chick.
The club closes and I exit with my friends and walk them to their car. All of a sudden a car pulls up and the friend says that Nancy wants to say goodnight to me (Nancy is in the passenger seat).
"Tell her to F@#% off !" I tell the friend and walk away.
Now I'm interested in hearing from you guys how I handled this and how you might handle it differently ?
Keep in mind that I have a number of girlfriends, so whether or not I nailed this one anyway is sort of inconsequential to me, but I still felt disrespected because she was dancing song after song right in front of us after I had intoduced her to my friends because I wanted to be polite.

 

[supremacy]

Well it wasn't her fault that she got dragged away

It wasn't her fault that she got hit on

Did she even know where you had got to?

Did it not occur to you that her friends asked why you left her because she may have told them about you and they talked about you??

You are displaying symptoms of jealousy, insecurity and indecision without even a first date.....I would thank my lucky stars that she even wanted to say goodbye

She didn't leave with any of the other guys did she? She asked for you.....

Your ego got bruised and you acted like a jerk.

 

[Tyson420]

lol you told her to F@#$? off

You do realize you could have gotten a number that night, she was telling you Good Night! You have more chicks but it doesn't take away from the fact that you were being a d!ck... And for what? This kind of AFC behaviour ****s it up for all of us because now chicks think men are soft and sensitive. Clean up your act dude.

That's how jams are, girls just drag these *****es away when you getting into it. Note that you said you grabbed the CUTER one, these cu#ts are fuc!ing JEALOUS because no nigga is touching them.

Hell it happened to this one I went, grinded on her ass for like 25 seconds before some co#kblocker dragged her away.

It sucks but wtf are you gonna do? Be a d!ck? Go ahead.

 

[supremacy]

these cu#ts are fuc!ing JEALOUS because no nigga is touching them.

HAHAHA quality mate! Very true!!!!

 

[mahoney]

I literally cannot believe how badly you handled this!

all the things that happened in your post were irritating, yes! And i might well have been annoyed if i was in the same situation - but! not annoyed at her! None of this was her fault, and she isn't obligated to you in any way

And then there was a chance at the end to put things in a better place for next time you bump into her at this place... and you totally blew it! Actually blew it more than almost any post i've seen on this forum!

Its a good skill in life to be able to not only to be ok when something doesn't go to plan, or something gets in the way of an opportunity, but also to be able to show that you can take it well

 

[GreyedOut]

I literally cannot believe how badly you handled this!

Actually blew it more than almost any post i've seen on this forum!

Alright I think that's a little harsh. He didn't screw up that bad and you're giving way too much credit to the other posters on this forum.

First off, good job on the approach, working her up and getting her interest. Had it not been for the **** blockers you would have been gold. But **** happens and we gotta adapt and keep our cool. I've been in similar situations and I handled it the exact same way:

Went to a club, met a few cuties in line and they ended up wanting to dance with me on the dance floor. Another girl not in the group noticed, took an interest and approached me. We spent the night dancing, chatting and we swapped numbers. At the very end of the night she's like "do you mind if I go dance with that guy?". I tried to play it cool and she went to go dance with the guy. But the lights were coming on and I spent my entire night with this girl for her to leave me for another guy...I felt like an idiot.

End of the night she came back and tried to act like nothing happened. I was a total **** to her because I was humiliated.

Anyways, don't beat yourself up. You handled it really well until you're ego got tested. Remember girls will test you and it's very hard to play it off sometimes. You can't approach this problem with the mentality that you need to "pretend" like it doesn't bother you. It bothered you that this girl was picking other guys in front of you after you put yourself out there and showed interest. You need to stay positive and change your mentality to realize a few things:

1) Her loss because you're the prize. You were a charming charismatic guy that approached her and showed her a good time. Had she stuck with you she probably would have had a much better time dancing with you and more would have developed. But you need to keep this in check. You're ego is pretty big already, don't let this go overboard and be a ****.

2) Reframe her actions to maintain a strong frame: she was only dancing with other guys because she wanted you to get jealous. You have no idea what was going on or what her intentions were. You thought she wasn't interested in you and was interested in other guys, but she probably talked to her friends about you and maybe they suggested she play with your head a bit. She was doing it thinking you'd get jealous and come over to her.

3) More of the prize mentality: it doesn't sound like you want a girl that plays these kind of games. There are girls out there who will reciprocate the interest you show and not play these games. You don't know this girl and while she may have seemed interesting in the beginning, she could have been major drama waiting to happen. You deserve better. Learn to let go and move on.

It's all about your thought patterns and whether they help or hurt you. Your thought patterns that night were hurting you.

 

[mahoney]

ok was maybe a little bit harsh - its more that it was fine and then for him to react like that at the end was just aargh

I dont think there's any evidence to suggest this girl was playing any kind of games or trying to make him feel jealous. She was talking to him and it was grand but getting dragged away, and then someone else turning up, dancing with them - its just circumstance - they'd only just met - im sure she liked him but i doubt she was putting too much emphasis on anything (this tends to be something dudes do about girls theyve just met, not the other way round)

its just kinda argh because at the end she wanted to say something to him, and that would have set things up really well for bumping into her next time, and then him letting his anger and frustration bubble over was a real shame.

 

[Jaylan]

For all you POMS out there "Pissed" as in angry, not drunk...........
I like to go out on Thursdays w/ my 2 friends (a couple) to a local dance spot.
Early on, I see two cute women standing alone, so I decide to go over and strike up a conversation. I totally charm both of them and take the cuter one(Nancy) out on the dance floor for a few songs. After dancing, I take her out to the patio where I proceed to talk to her more.
I can tell she's totally into me...there's zero problem working her. As we're talking, my friends, the couple, pass by, so I stop them and make introductions all around. My friends then move on.
All of a sudden, with the understatement of a freight train, her friend that she was with earlier, along with another female, rush up to us and start their female talk....then grab her arm and say let's dance (to her, not to me). They literally yank her away. In a flash she's gone.
I go back in and sit with my friends. I can see her out on the floor w/ her friends....whatever. I check out other "scenery" as well.
Later, I spot her standing alone for about 10 seconds before some guy's on her. My friend is like "Hey, she's over there and some guy's trying to work her !" I say "She should seek me out instead. I'm not going to initiate contact again-it's up to her this time".
A short time later, I see her out on the dance floor with a different guy. They dance song after song, and they are really dancing sexy with each other. This is going on right in front of my friends and I. They're like................................"Isn't she the one you introduced us to earlier ?"
Now I feel somewhat embarrased. I feel like a rejected chump. I don't really have a reason to be "angry" with her because she was not "mine" anyway, but I still felt dissed because it was happening in front of me as I was sitting right there with my friends. I felt however that this chick was going to contact me before the night ended. I go to the bathroom. Her friend (the one that dragged her away), stops me and asks "Why did you leave my friend ?" I can't believe what I hear....I'm like "I didn't leave her...you guys snatched her away "
I go back to my friend and watch Nancy grind away on the dance floor with the same guy. I did dance a few songs with another chick.
The club closes and I exit with my friends and walk them to their car. All of a sudden a car pulls up and the friend says that Nancy wants to say goodnight to me (Nancy is in the passenger seat).
"Tell her to F@#% off !" I tell the friend and walk away.
Now I'm interested in hearing from you guys how I handled this and how you might handle it differently ?
Keep in mind that I have a number of girlfriends, so whether or not I nailed this one anyway is sort of inconsequential to me, but I still felt disrespected because she was dancing song after song right in front of us after I had intoduced her to my friends because I wanted to be polite.

Dont listen to the haters here who let girls get away with bs like this. You have women on the side already, and you are the prize my man. You were gaming her, her friends pulled her away, and then she dances with some other dude all night. And mighty sexual dancing at that.

So in anyone's eyes it would seem like she bailed, wasn't interested, and I would feel disrespected too by the fact that she thinks she can just come talk to you at the end of the night after she decides she doesnt want the other dude. She had ALL night to do so. Dont sweat this at all.

Again, you are the man who is the prize. You dont need to act like other guys who let women get away with a bunch of crap just because they want to get laid. A quality man with value and options has as high as standards as most women have. More men need to be this way about a girls behavior.

Saying "f*&% off" was a bit harsh, but I still think you did a good job. I would of said something more along the lines of "haha really? Ok bye" With a serious yet uncaring face and then left. She'd get the picture.

 

[Mike32ct]

"Why did you leave my friend?"

Translation: "I know we c@ckblocked you, but we just decided that we don't like her new guy that much. We actually think you would have been better for her than the sleezy guy she's grinding with now. I hope we can get you back and convince her to ditch the other dude.

"My friend wants to say goodnight to you."

Translation: "We finally convinced her to ditch the other tool. She feels guilty now for treating you like sh@t. While her interest in you is marginal at BEST, we hope you get her number."

 

[5string]

All good except telling her to F off. Remaining silent and walking away would have been the best option.

Club slvts = "trash only"

 

[Rubirosa]

Keep in mind that I have a number of girlfriends, so whether or not I nailed this one anyway is sort of inconsequential to me, but I still felt disrespected because she was dancing song after song right in front of us after I had intoduced her to my friends because I wanted to be polite.

Thank for the reponses. Guys, read my own quote above; I'm not hurting for chicks, so not getting a number from someone that disrespected me in front of my friends does not make me a chump. IMO a chump would have gotten her number......"You can walk all over me, and all still be waiting for you when you're ready !"
What angered me is that we were having a nice conversation, my friends walk by and look at us, so out of politeness to everyone, I make introductions. In other words, I was simply being friendly to her by introducing her to people I care about.....and I was then disrespected by this woman in front of these people I had just introduced her too.
All the other stuff --the c$ckblocking, other guys, flakiness......happens every night in every damn club.....It doesn't faze me at all.
I don't care that she was dancing with someone else. But the fact that she was directly in front of our table and dancing for so long upset me. In retrospect I should not have used the F word but at the time, I felt the need to send her a message about how I felt about her actions. Driving home I felt that I should of just calmly went up to her and explain (in case she didn't get it) why she was so rude. And even if she had tried to give me her number, I would not have taken it.

 

[Rubirosa]

Your ego got bruised and you acted like a jerk.

No, I stood up for myself after being disrespected.....

 

[Rubirosa]

I literally cannot believe how badly you handled this!

all the things that happened in your post were irritating, yes! And i might well have been annoyed if i was in the same situation - but! not annoyed at her! None of this was her fault, and she isn't obligated to you in any way

And then there was a chance at the end to put things in a better place for next time you bump into her at this place... and you totally blew it! Actually blew it more than almost any post i've seen on this forum!

Its a good skill in life to be able to not only to be ok when something doesn't go to plan, or something gets in the way of an opportunity, but also to be able to show that you can take it well

Read my post again, I totally acknowedge that there was no obligation on her part in regards to our "relationship". A chance for next time ? Why would i want a next time ? To possibly get laid ? " OK I see her next time and work it (AGAIN) so that I can get her number. Then I reward her behavior by taking her out on a proper date ??????????????
There's a difference between "taking it well" and standing up for oneself.....

 

[Rubirosa]

.[/QUOTE]So in anyone's eyes it would seem like she bailed, wasn't interested, and I would feel disrespected too by the fact that she thinks she can just come talk to you at the end of the night after she decides she doesnt want the other dude. She had ALL night to do so. Dont sweat this at all.

Again, you are the man who is the prize. You dont need to act like other guys who let women get away with a bunch of crap just because they want to get laid. A quality man with value and options has as high as standards as most women have. More men need to be this way about a girls behavior.
.[/QUOTE]

This sums it up for me. Well said !

 

[Jaylan]

btw how old were these chicks?

 

[Masculinity]

When the friend came over and cokblocked you, I would have let her do it. That's fine. However, immediately after seeing her start dancing with another dude, I would have walked over to them and pulled her away. This move takes a lot of b@lls and confidence because you are putting yourself in the spot and you could get shot down, but who cares...it's just a chick anyway.

Stealing her from this dude would have given the her impression of you "claiming what's yours" even though she owes you no loyalty. It is more of a male dominance thing. Did she make out with the other dude or something? That would have been a no-no, but dude...she has danced with dozens of guys efore you and part of having a hot chick is dudes offering the cooler full of sausage and showing it to her. This would have been a very good test of her interest. If she liked you, she would have gotten turned on at the fact that you are "fighting" over her with another guy and followed you lead, it's just the way their minds work. If she didn't like you (which would be her loss), then you could have just moved on, found another chick, had fun and stopped wasting your night looking at her dance with some other dude. You let your emotions take over you. I know exactly how that feels; I've been there before, but you are a MAN not a chick who runs on her emotions. C+ for you on this one.

 

[MrRhythmic]

There are girls out there who will reciprocate the interest you show and not play these games. You don't know this girl and while she may have seemed interesting in the beginning, she could have been major drama waiting to happen. You deserve better. Learn to let go and move on.

It's all about your thought patterns and whether they help or hurt you. Your thought patterns that night were hurting you.

Gold.

This is a hard one to call, because it depends what you're looking for out of it and how laid-back you are in your interactions. If you're looking for any fvck, then you should have gotten the number and worked it, it you're looking for quality interactions with quality girls, I think you did the right thing. Telling her to fvck off is fine in my book and shouldn't even harm your chances if you run into her again. No-one likes a doormat.

Well, no woman likes a doormat.

 

[Rubirosa]

When the friend came over and cokblocked you, I would have let her do it. That's fine. However, immediately after seeing her start dancing with another dude, I would have walked over to them and pulled her away. This move takes a lot of b@lls and confidence because you are putting yourself in the spot and you could get shot down, but who cares...it's just a chick anyway.

Stealing her from this dude would have given the her impression of you "claiming what's yours" even though she owes you no loyalty. It is more of a male dominance thing. Did she make out with the other dude or something? That would have been a no-no, but dude...she has danced with dozens of guys efore you and part of having a hot chick is dudes offering the cooler full of sausage and showing it to her. This would have been a very good test of her interest. If she liked you, she would have gotten turned on at the fact that you are "fighting" over her with another guy and followed you lead, it's just the way their minds work. If she didn't like you (which would be her loss), then you could have just moved on, found another chick, had fun and stopped wasting your night looking at her dance with some other dude. You let your emotions take over you. I know exactly how that feels; I've been there before, but you are a MAN not a chick who runs on her emotions. C+ for you on this one.

I don't care if I'm dancing with a chick that's just a friend, an ugly one I'm feeling sympathetic towards, whatever.........If some dude rolls in and pulls her away WHILE I'm dancing with her, I will stop him and ask "WTF do you think you're doing ?"......There's no way in the world I would pull that crap. If you do stuff like that, don't be surprised when the sucker punch comes at you. I appreciate your imput and advice, but dude ? c'mon.........

 

[supremacy]

You know what sir.....having read through this again, I have to take back a lot of stick I gave you....

I respect your morals and integrity and your damn right never to let a woman disrespect you like that.......good on you man!

The "****off" might have been a tad bit over the top....the saying "all is fair in love and war" comes to mind here. However, it is her loss and your gain that you are not with someone immature like that who seemingly has no respect.

 

[Masculinity]

I don't care if I'm dancing with a chick that's just a friend, an ugly one I'm feeling sympathetic towards, whatever.........If some dude rolls in and pulls her away WHILE I'm dancing with her, I will stop him and ask "WTF do you think you're doing ?"......There's no way in the world I would pull that crap. If you do stuff like that, don't be surprised when the sucker punch comes at you. I appreciate your imput and advice, but dude ? c'mon.........

This is what works for me; we will all give you advice and you select what you want to do with your life

I have stolen chicks from guys dancing with them. Will I ever get a guy who is a trouble maker that will try to start a fight? The possibility is there; you are right, but the reward is huge.