Stalker-riffic behavior from her ex!

[MaddXMan]

Guys help me out with any advice you got - I have an unusual problem!

I have my own personal stalker. Is it some hot babe lusting after my bod? No, it's a broken down 46 year old drunk man. My girl's ex, to be exact.

They were on the outs when she and I started dating, a year ago. The guy is a major alkie and when he gets the ol' liquid courage up (always very late on a Friday or Saturday) he would send me anonymous text messages to my phone (using txt2day.com). Messages saying nothing but calling me names. This would happen a couple times a month. Since he had changed his number from when she moved out neither she or I could contact him direct.

Then once he sent a message from his direct number. This was 2 months ago. I called it immediately and of course the b!tch puzzy did not answer, it went to voicemail and I left a VM calling him out, that I knew where he lived and would be over there in a hot second to mix it up if he bothered me again, I didn't care who went down I was going to ****ing beat him to the ground. I also said a few things about his personal insecurities since I had the inside scoop (small d!ck, will die alone & childless, paid for hookers in the past) - real fighting words, if he had the balls. Well since leaving that message the messages from him ceased and I thought the jerk was going to finally fade away into the sunset.

But last night, my gf gets a call through a TTY service, for christ's sake, relaying a message calling her a b!tch and other nasty things. Turns out anyone with an internet connection can make a call through Sprint's online TTY service, and have anonymous messages relayed. I just know it's this rat bastard. She thinks that if I went over to this guys house, confronted him and beat him down, things would get worse - the guy would start back up with the messages and do whatever he could to get me in trouble. She's really creeped out by this fukker and thinks we should leave him alone but damn they been apart a year and he still sends his b!tch messages, I'm sick of it.

This guy is older than me - his behavior is so weird & freaky and who knows if he is doing other kinds of stalking. How can I make this BS go away without landing myself in trouble??

 

[DJDamage]

How can I make this BS go away without landing myself in trouble??

You might need to go through the police to sort this out and have you and your girlfriend fill a restraining order against this guy (one which he cannot contact you or be within 100 yards).

If you go over to his place and beat him up, he is the one that will call the cops saying that you attacked him in his home (essentially making himself the innocent victim) and you end up in the slammer with no case against him.

 

[MaddXMan]

You might need to go through the police to sort this out and have you and your girlfriend fill a restraining order against this guy (one which he cannot contact you or be within 100 yards).

If you go over to his place and beat him up, he is the one that will call the cops saying that you attacked him in his home (essentially making himself the innocent victim) and you end up in the slammer with no case against him.

I never saved his messages, and all but a few he sent were sent through an anonymous source so I really don't have anything to 'prove' it was him. And he could have saved that voicemail from me threatening him. Feels like I can't go to the police and am on my own here.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Obviously, it sucks to be him. Remember that - you don't have to do anything, and his life still sucks. Having to live life as himself is the worst punishment. He would not drink so much if he did not dislike himself as much as you dislike him.

I don't think you screwed yourself of legal recourse with that message. A restraining order is still an option. They are easy to get for women. Nasty phone messages are not much of a crime, if they are illegal at all, especially just one. But you are right that it can still be used against you if you try to hurt him later. Going to his house to initiate a fight is the worst thing you can do. If you did get in a fist fight, the best place for that to happen would be inside your house, with your girl there to witness that he entered without your permission, and you had no choice but to defend yourself. The "inside" part is very, very important. You will go to jail for fighting in your front yard ten times more quickly than you will for fighting someone who came into your house.

 

[ElChoclo]

Remember you are his substitute, your beloved GF considered him to be your equivalent previously. The level of "harassment" seems minor. You don't need to save her from him.

You yourself were not above sending a dumb mesage. If anything I cannot think of anything lower than taunting a man using confessions extracted from him by his former woman, no doubt when he was emotionally vulnerable. Your phone message without a doubt would have been archived and available and in breach of your local law. Forget about him.

 

[MaddXMan]

Remember you are his substitute, your beloved GF considered him to be your equivalent previously. The level of "harassment" seems minor. You don't need to save her from him.

You yourself were not above sending a dumb mesage. If anything I cannot think of anything lower than taunting a man using confessions extracted from him by his former woman, no doubt when he was emotionally vulnerable. Your phone message without a doubt would have been archived and available and in breach of your local law. Forget about him.

Fvck this guys feelings and him being emotionally vuneralbe. I hope what I said drove him to drink himself into a coma. AFC/DJ whatever, breakups suck but eventually you get over it, you don't play text message games after a year! But your points are taken, I did lower myself and his games, while annoying, are minor, hitting the delete button and not getting worked up is the way to go. Fighting with this guy, unless directly provoked, is silly.

 

[mrRuckus]

(small d!ck, will die alone & childless, paid for hookers in the past) -

How do you know these things? Your girlfriend?

I wouldn't believe a word of what your girlfriend (or any girl) says about her ex.

I'm pretty sure there's a handful of girls running around saying i have a small d1ck too.

I found out that one told people I was arrested for stalking. That certainly never happened.

 

[decades]

deleted

 

[Celadus]

Deleted. 6 more months...

 

[Warrior74]

are there children involved?

 

[MaddXMan]

are there children involved?

No, my gf and her ex only lived together, no marriage or children.

But I have 2. My 10yo daughter likes to play with with my phone camera, and once (she shouldn't have been doing this) she was looking at the text messages I received and saw one of the nasty messages this guy sent me - she was concerned, saying daddy who would be saying this stuff to you?

My gut tells me that if I just leave it alone, and never respond to him, he will eventually go away, even though this has been going on since August 07.

I tried to be the 'bigger man' early on. When her and I started dating a year ago, she had moved into her own apt and still had some stuff at his place, including her cat. Her apt complex she moved into didn't allow pets, so she left her cat there while she was going to look for a friend to take it. Anyway he decides to flip out and calls me at my work one morning (how he got my work number I don't know): He is yelling "SHE NEEDS TO COME GET HER CAT! IF SHE DOESN'T COME GET HER ****ING CAT NOW I'M GOING TO BRING IT TO YOUR WORK AND DROP IT OFF THERE, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE THAT ****ER?"

Me: "Damn calm down man - yea it was wrong of her to leave the cat there, this weekend we'll be over and get all of her stuff out of there for good."

Him: "WHAT!?? IF YOU EVER AND I MEAN EVER SHOW YOUR FACE AT MY HOUSE I WILL ****ING BEAT YOUR ASS YOU MOTHER****ER! I WILL BEAT THE LIVING **** OUT OF YOU blah blah etc."

I was getting irritated, said "We're getting her stuff this weekend. And don't ever call my work number again." Needless to say he never did bring the cat to my work, the drunk crazy douche.

(she wanted me to go with her since she was afraid of him)

So we went there on a Saturday afternoon to get the few things she didn't move. It was a beautiful warm day and I noted the neighborhood was a nice subdivision, people were outside tending their lawns and walking around. I had a feeling and hoped that we could quickly get her stuff and leave, things wouldn't get ugly in a setting like this. I was going to be cool, park the car in the street and wait while she got her stuff.

But he was drunk. Comes storming out the front door immediately red-faced and screaming "HEY FAGGOT GET OFF MY DRIVE WAY NOW! GET HER **** OUT OF HERE NOW, GET THIS **** OUT OF HERE!" He is throwing some boxes of hers onto the driveway. I see people in the neighborhood stopping in their tracks with a "OMG" look on their face.

He finishes and goes inside, slams the door. We load up and leave quick. She said he used to be a nice guy but started going crazy. He and her agreed that they were breaking up back then but apparently he was only faking about agreeing to break up and split but somehow thought it could still work out underneath, plus he was insanely jealous and thought she was his property - and is a binge drinker to boot.

I know anyone reading this is thinking damn that must be some good puss y to put up with this crap, but her and I have a good thing going, she got involved with a bad person before, just a little more extreme than usual. It just burns me that this guy, pushing 50, is still sitting around his empty house fuming and burning up over some **** that happened a year ago, and he has nothing better to do than play on text messages and play on the internet and **** with us. GET OVER IT!

 

[SoCalMike]

Save the text messages. Look into getting a restraining order. Look into laws about harrassment/threatening. You can't just threaten people at will, at least not here in CA. It is actually illegal to say you will beat someones ass, kill them, if you keep saying it to them over and over and cause them stress/trauma. The law will look at it seriously if you have multiple txt messages saying stuff like this.

You have to take action the legal way. While it is tempting to beat this SOB to a quivering bloody pulp, and he certainly deserves it, YOU will then end up in prison.

 

[kingwilliam]

I think it would be a mistake on your part to let things get physical.

I agree that if he continues to act like a dumbass you should look into a restraining order or some legal action. This guy doesn't deserve to make you angry.

It sucks that your new girlfriend brings that kind of drama with the package, but oh well....what are ya gonna do? If you like the girl I guess you're gonna have to deal with it. I have an ex girlfriend that has caused some minor issues with my new GF.. ..nothing on the level you're dealing with, but I can see where you're coming from..

I didn't realize that people in their 40's still threatened to beat each other's ass? ha ha ha ha just messin with ya

 

[Phyzzle]

I don't understand how he got both your personal and work numbers. And your work location.

Is there any chance that the woman handed over the info after he berated her? Sometimes, women with messed up exes are messed up themselves. You need to figure this out.