Something I have been pondering about women and their appearance after a LTR/marraige

[Drex]

I have been pondering this for a while. Do you guys think that a woman is more likely to stay in shape and keep thin if her boyfriend/husband is very strict (on himself) about working out, eating right, and keeping a great body?

It seems like so many women these days are lazy when it comes to keeping in shape. Everywhere I go I see women with their cutoff shirts and a little pudge-belly sticking out, and the older they are the bigger that belly is.

The ratio of married/younger-middle age women being knockouts is so much smaller than the ratio of younger/single women.

I plan on always busting my ass to stay in shape and look good. It scares me to death how easily most women just let themselves go and how very few truely watch what they eat and exercise.

 

[Jvesti]

Most people have little regard for themselves nor have they developed into strong enough of a person to have self control.

Most girls only keep fairly attractive to attract a man. Once they get one they will let themselves go to ****. They could care less about themselves personally nor any regard for their mates. They just want that one thing we talk about in here that male AFC's go for over anything else in life "Love". Once they get a lamewad hooked and owned why should they keep themselves nice.

Some of you might say. Ya let's make her fear, but honestly I'd rather have a girl that generally has respect for herself and her body than a girl working out by fearing losing me.

 

[A-Unit]

Ignorance.

Ignorance also plays a factor in my opinion. Unless a girl grew up working out as a result of sports, i.e. soccer, softball, field hockey, it's unlikely she was active. Perhaps she did light running and stretching. However, we all know here that the body requires strenuous workouts via lifting, yoga, pilates, and weight-training to remain whole throughout life. MOST girls don't get this.

They see Chyna, the wrestler, and assume muscles = big, bulky thighs (something they hate), as well as push-ups, etc. Unless they have an instructor, friend, or mentor who guides them in properly deconstructing this mental image, then it's unlikely she'll get it.

On the flip side, most girls were born O.K. enough to garner sexual interest from men. They didn't have to work that hard, so they were able to snag a man without much effort. How many of those women do we know? Plenty. As a result of drinking, they come to find out how easy it is for their "apple bottoms" to be come "dump trucks."

I've met some gals who are workaholics in the gym, about 1 in 15 are. It's their life, but if they ever changed that slightly, they'd lose what they gained, because though their body was the result of strict exercise and dieting, it wasn't "part of their life" as men tend to make it. Women, in my estimation, use it as tool for competition amongst women, or to feel better when approaching men, at some point the allure of those goals wears off. Life sets in, and a woman will assume other responsibilities that would derail her. Men, on the other hand, tend to put lifting second to only working, or football, and will get up at 5 am to go, which won't disrupt their schedules much, even with the addition of a child, gf, or new responsibilities.

For most of my life I've been a strict eater, with periods of strong devotion to lifting based on the current state of my life. However, few girls I dated, regardless of looks, were influenced by my devotion. And ever fewer could careless about eating styles. That's not to say a good % don't exist, but if you want that, seek it. I wouldn't expect to change someone, because the likelihood is high they'd go back (i.e. smokers). Some of the foxes I've dated were born with it (result of chemicals in their meat and dairy products), hence why they don't always respect those who work for things because they have no concept of what true work is.

Good genetics + a good mental well-being is what it takes. If her mother blew up, then you rest assured w/out the services of a psychic, she will, too. One of my X's mother's was a size "0" upon her wedding. In only a few short years she made it to 13+ as the result of several healthy children. She passed on her propensity for large tits, as well as her propensity for weight retention. My X Gf looked curvy at 135, but if she got slightly off track due to booze or poor habits she could balloon quick. I wasn't too saddened when I 'dodged the marital bullet' after we split, since I *knew* the same would happen to her and I could already have purchased the necessary viagra now.




A-Unit

 

[squirrels]

This is one of the reasons that being a "player" and being in an "LTR" go hand-in-hand. The player has options, so his woman is always trying to look good to make sure she has the edge over the other women who want some. If you start shifting into a "modern LTR" mentality after she snags you in marriage, instead of keeping the "player" mentality, she figures he has you to herself and there's no reason to look good for you any more because you're "locked in."

That's why it's always necessary to keep something of a "pimp hand" in any relationship. She needs to know that even though you would never WANT to walk out of the relationship, you CAN and WILL if she doesn't uphold her end of it.

And that means YOU have to uphold YOURS, too...get your ass in the gym and start pushing steel.

 

[Ice Cold]

Girls are stupid. I know a girls who do 3 hour workouts, with minimal resistance and lots of reps. They don't even get sweaty for f sake! They don't exercise with heavy stuff, cause "it would make my back big"

So, in the end... they either diet themselves and have a bony ass OR just pure fat when they're "out of shape".

They are lazy. They don't take workouts seriously. When a guy wants to get in shape, he gets out a few books. Reads how to work out properly, what to eat and does it.

When a girl wants to get in shape, she just lifts a few weights. Or WALKS on the treadmill for 15 mins without starting to breath even.

Annoys the crap out of me. I just wanna go ask what the FUKK IS THE POINT OF A WORKOUT, IF YOU'RE JUST WALKING FOR 15 MINS? Then they b1tch about not being in shape.

Cheers.

 

[Drex]

I'm glad I'm not the only one that feels this way. I guess this is just another item on the checklist when weeding out a LTR material woman. The problem is I think most guys will confuse her fear of losing you to stay in shape with her actually WANTING to stay healthy. The fear will keep her looking good, until you're married and/or have children, at this point she thinks she has you hooked. The DESIRE to look good will make her lose that baby fat after children.

I know, I am looking WAY too far ahead as I am single and 23 with no plans of marraige any time soon. But I guess it's good to think of this now while I am single.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by Ice Cold
Girls are stupid. I know a girls who do 3 hour workouts, with minimal resistance and lots of reps. They don't even get sweaty for f sake! They don't exercise with heavy stuff, cause "it would make my back big"

So, in the end... they either diet themselves and have a bony ass OR just pure fat when they're "out of shape".

They are lazy. They don't take workouts seriously. When a guy wants to get in shape, he gets out a few books. Reads how to work out properly, what to eat and does it.

When a girl wants to get in shape, she just lifts a few weights. Or WALKS on the treadmill for 15 mins without starting to breath even.

Annoys the crap out of me. I just wanna go ask what the FUKK IS THE POINT OF A WORKOUT, IF YOU'RE JUST WALKING FOR 15 MINS? Then they b1tch about not being in shape.

Cheers.

They want you to look at them.

 

[icecreaman]

Most girls that like to dance and have sex dont have to worry about going to the gym ie...latin women.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

That's why my interests have gone toward women who are actively into playing sports as on a team. Sport like tennis, swimming, cycling or better yet triatheletes. Not any of the part timers either, women who have it as part of their lifestyle.

I'm telling you, I've found more tight biker babes that have a lot going for them PLUS they are willing to go mountain biking!!! Talk about SWEET!!!!

Now not all of them look like this, but there's a bunch that are pretty close. Scroll through toward the bottom this link and you'll see exactly what I mean....

Pics of fit women cyclists

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Speaking from a married perspective here - My wife is 40 and I can in all honesty say she looks better than 95% of the girls I encounter on the university campus where I do graduate studies. That's not a simp response or self-convincing, just stated fact. 90%+ of the girls I see on campus have a penchant for wearing midriffs and tight clothing that only accentuates their rolls of fat and make them look like an exploded can of biscuits. Poom! Obvious results of the 'freshmen 15' phenomenon.

However, my wife is a rare exception to the rule. She is in the gym almost every day and our daughter is in gymnastics. I myself have been doing a Max OT training regimen for quite some time and we're basically a very fit family. She likes that we both look good and our 8 year marriage has always been satisfying due to this. My other married friends are not as disciplined. Most of them give up after marriage, both the men and women, and pregnancy only exacerbates this. It's a co-enabling situation and people almost expect their spouse (as well as themselves) to "put on a few pounds" after marriage.

What's most teling of this situation is when one partner is unhappy. The surest way to see a divorce in the making is when one partner begins a physical self-improvement in preparation to cut the ties. Women are most guilty of this (as appearance is primary for them in establishing new intimate relations), they'll get in shape for the potential of a new relationship, but lack the motivation to stay fit for their current one. Men marry women for what they are now (good looking, sexual, fit, etc.), women marry men for what they will become (wealthy, powerful, influential, etc.). As time goes on both have to make efforts to maintain these subconscious expectations. If in the future she gets fat and he doesn't live up to her perceived potential of him then problems arise.

 

[DJD]

Re: Something I have been pondering about women and their appearance after a LTR/marr

Originally posted by Drex
I have been pondering this for a while. Do you guys think that a woman is more likely to stay in shape and keep thin if her boyfriend/husband is very strict (on himself) about working out, eating right, and keeping a great body?

It seems like so many women these days are lazy when it comes to keeping in shape. Everywhere I go I see women with their cutoff shirts and a little pudge-belly sticking out, and the older they are the bigger that belly is.

The ratio of married/younger-middle age women being knockouts is so much smaller than the ratio of younger/single women.

I plan on always busting my ass to stay in shape and look good. It scares me to death how easily most women just let themselves go and how very few truely watch what they eat and exercise.

Drex,

It just depends on the woman; when I was married (12 yrs.), my wife actually resented the fact that I kept myself in shape by jogging and lifting weights. My ex never got into exercise at all; really, she was 'exercise-impaired'. Fortunately, she was naturally thin and only gained a little pudge in her belly if she ate a LOT of junk food.

You know, the stereotype is that when someone gets married, he or she starts to let physical appearance slide - in fact, when I was much younger and my friends started to get married, it seemed like all of my 'boys' got fat and started to lose their hair when they got married ;-) I think that a lot of people figure that once they've 'got someone', the work of maintaining or improving one's ******d physical appearance is less important. I think that at best (and often, this is rare), a woman will strive to maintain the physical condition that she had when you met her. Going up from how she looked when you met is pretty uncommon, and, as Rollo aptly noted, if she does - be forewarned - she is probably doing it to impress somebody else, not you.

I do want to comment on one thing that you said... about keeping yourself in shape through the years and not letting yourself go. Please do that - I've done so and I cannot tell you how rewarding it has been for me. I am 6'2"/230lbs. now and still wear a 34" waist in jeans, the same that I've worn virtually forever (and I am about to turn 42). I've not always been as consistent as I should have been on the exercise, but the one thing that I've always done is to gauge things by how my clothing fits. Specifically, pride has never let me buy a pair of 36" waist jeans. I have bought different cut jeans to make more room for muscle growth in the thighs and butt (relaxed fit/looser fit), but the waist fit standard I've held myself to for a long time, and it's really worked for me. If things get tight, I clean up my diet and exercise more to burn off the extra lbs. (I should note that I have good genetics and can eat [and drink] a lot before I really start to gain much extra weight, so I am somewhat fortunate).

Outgrowing shirts and jackets, on the other hand, is very cool when it's muscle growth, not fat.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Rollo Tomassi
Speaking from a married perspective here - My wife is 40 and I can in all honesty say she looks better than 95% of the girls I encounter on the university campus where I do graduate studies. That's not a simp response or self-convincing, just stated fact. 90%+ of the girls I see on campus have a penchant for wearing midriffs and tight clothing that only accentuates their rolls of fat and make them look like an exploded can of biscuits. Poom! Obvious results of the 'freshmen 15' phenomenon.

However, my wife is a rare exception to the rule. She is in the gym almost every day and our daughter is in gymnastics. I myself have been doing a Max OT training regimen for quite some time and we're basically a very fit family. She likes that we both look good and our 8 year marriage has always been satisfying due to this. My other married friends are not as disciplined. Most of them give up after marriage, both the men and women, and pregnancy only exacerbates this. It's a co-enabling situation and people almost expect their spouse (as well as themselves) to "put on a few pounds" after marriage.

What's most teling of this situation is when one partner is unhappy. The surest way to see a divorce in the making is when one partner begins a physical self-improvement in preparation to cut the ties. Women are most guilty of this (as appearance is primary for them in establishing new intimate relations), they'll get in shape for the potential of a new relationship, but lack the motivation to stay fit for their current one. Men marry women for what they are now (good looking, sexual, fit, etc.), women marry men for what they will become (wealthy, powerful, influential, etc.). As time goes on both have to make efforts to maintain these subconscious expectations. If in the future she gets fat and he doesn't live up to her perceived potential of him then problems arise.

I couldn't have said it better. You are spot on about the biscuit women with the belly rolls, it's like that all over. I also agree with the expectation of spouses to gain a few after marriage. That sucks just because it's a sign of complacency, as if being married allows you to give up just because you've won the prize.

I lived the self improvement process with my ex, although I was the one improving. One of the reasons for the breakup was the complacency on both of our parts. I decided to give up once I saw that I couldn't inspire her to keep up. Oh well, live and learn...

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Re: Something I have been pondering about women and their appearance after a LTR/marr

Originally posted by Drex
I have been pondering this for a while. Do you guys think that a woman is more likely to stay in shape and keep thin if her boyfriend/husband is very strict (on himself) about working out, eating right, and keeping a great body?

It seems like so many women these days are lazy when it comes to keeping in shape. Everywhere I go I see women with their cutoff shirts and a little pudge-belly sticking out, and the older they are the bigger that belly is.

The ratio of married/younger-middle age women being knockouts is so much smaller than the ratio of younger/single women.

I plan on always busting my ass to stay in shape and look good. It scares me to death how easily most women just let themselves go and how very few truely watch what they eat and exercise.

I was in a 7 year relationship. I'm 33, I keep myself in good shape - in fact, I'm in better shape than I've ever been. The woman I was with ballooned to almost my weight. She was so thin and beautiful when I met her. Then she turned into a hippo. It took less than three years. She was 5 years younger, so by the time she was 26, it was over for her. I couldn't get past it, staring at that big arse everyday. Call me shallow, being athletic (6' 2", 185 lbs) I just couldn't deal with it.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Re: Re: Something I have been pondering about women and their appearance after a LTR/marr

Originally posted by Don Juanabbe
...Call me shallow, being athletic (6' 2", 185 lbs) I just couldn't deal with it.

Welcome to the club. When I was breaking up with my ex she was feeling good that the stress was helping her loose weight (don't ask me). The thing was that at 5'6 she had dropped down below 160 lbs. I didn't have the heart to tell her that at 5'11 I was only 170.

Being shallow is only a bad thing when other people can't afford to be as selective as you. Learn to live with it...

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

'Shallow' is just a term women like to use to their own advantage. Any mental model they can convince you of that helps them achieve personal security is just one more tool in the box. How many guys stay in a bad relationship so as not to appear 'shallow'?

It's simple biology. I can't get aroused if my wife looks like Oprah, but I'm 'shallow' for expressing this. When a man doesn't live up to expectations, a woman is 'prudent' or 'looking after best interests' for expressing it.