Some opinions needed! Trying to figure out girls behavior

[jamesfromhouston]

Hey gents.

Thanks a lot for the very detailed responses.

It's really provided me with a reality snap & woke me up.

If she's interested she will act accordingly.

Yes, indeed, actions speak louder than words.

I should not waste any time or thoughts on analyzing her social media behavior. It might be senseless and social media interaction might not be the best test for these things.

When I joined SS, I told myself from day 1 that I'd like to contribute to our knowledge base here at some point in the future.

Whilst I know most of you here are quite apprehensive about social media, I will seek to do more "experiments" with it. Mainly to see how it can be integrated into overall game and what sort of personal results I can get. May report my own findings on this some point down the line.

I personally use it for work to be honest. Promoting my work. Yet I use active story updates on IG to also showcase exciting parts of my daily life. So far there are some signs of promises but I'll need to see if it converts. Will play with this a bit.

Thanks brothers. Your opinions are highly valued.

 

[IKO69]

From my personal experience, when it gets to the point where they've changed and all of a sudden start playing games, are hard to get hold of, unreliable etc. it's best to just leave them alone. I know, maybe you smashed at one time, maybe she was a good friend and you had something, all that stuff doesn't matter. Something obviously triggered her and your all your appeals, no matter how sincere, fall on deaf ears.

I and many others have been there and have exerted ourselves, put in effort to try to "convince" the person. When it gets to the stage as described most of the time nothing changes (and that is the best case scenario). At worst, it just ends up aggravating her further, and this is usually the case. The best thing to do is just learn from the experience and leave the person alone. Save yourself the time and stress. If there was ever anything there she may reach out at some point, which then gives you some wiggle room and you can possibly maneuver things, but when the situation is they are actively being difficult - leave them alone.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

If I can. You have to have absolute certainty about one thing and one thing only.

Due to her design, optimum survival, her entire world is about her. Unless you are a new puppy or one of her children. Even then it’s about benefiting her. This is not evil. You have to understand the depth of this fully or in every corner you will always be in mystery and eventually outright fail. Quandary and mull this over in every scenario you you can conger up.

Most men fail at a great deal of things is because they think and don’t observe.
No emotion. Just observe. No evaluation of what you are seeing. Just an observer. Don’t assign any significance to what you are observing. This is a skill learned through drilling and practice. The art of disconnecting what you are seeing to thoughts and assignment to what is significant.

She is obviously evaluating you. What she observes is directly attached to emotion evaluation. This is feminine. This is about her and predetermining an evaluation about you without any real work. I am a HUGE antagonist to social media. For this very reason. Getting to “know” or “learn” about someone through social media is a travesty and unreliable as fuk. Yet women believe fully in it.
women need to be forced, by default, to explore the man she’s interested in. To see his life first hand. This goes back to “demonstrate” value, don’t talk about your value”
Social media is inauthentic.

If other girls are interested in you, you might have some value after all. She is hunting clues. Write her off in your mind and demonstrate that. Just watch what happens. Just observe.

@jamesfromhouston read this carefully, and read it a few more times after that.

Last but not least, how many girls are you talking/seeing/f***ing right now? Because that sounds like the problem here. You're giving too much mental energy to this girl. She is living rent-free in your mind. This is big NO NO.


Modern Man Advice

 

[oldmanofthesea]

My thoughts on social media for men:

Do not put much into women reading your stories. It means nothing other than maybe curiosity - but the curiosity isn't always good. She may be there to specifically find reasons to disqualify you, in which case she will ignore everything except the things that support her confirmation bias. Or she may be there to try to assess your value, exactly as TheFinalLine said, in which case it can be very difficult for a man to impress a woman...... Don't have enough photos of you with other women in a setting where it isn't obvious whether it's romantic or platonic, or you do but the women aren't hot enough to instill jealousy in the woman looking at your profile? Fail. Don't have enough photos of you doing amazing things with friends and looking like you are living your best life? Fail. Your friends are all less attractive than you? Fail. And on the flip side, each girl wants something different - some girls will be intimidated by a guy who has photos of himself hanging out with women who she feels are hotter than her so she will reject him so that she doesn't have to face rejection herself on down the line when you choose another hotter girl over her.

NEVER watch a girl's stories. EVER. Period. Re-read this rule. Even if you are super active on IG, posting stories or photos or whatever, NEVER watch a girl's story.

Don't block or delete a flaky girl - just ignore.

I played the social media game for a while, specifically on FB because my IG is more focused on one of my hobbies. At the time, which was pre-covid, I had an incredible co-ed friend group and we hung out all the time, like 3x per week if not more. We took all sorts of trips together, even internationally, and had a ton of adventures together. We were having the time of our lives. I am not a big fan of social media and I hate posting on it because it feels fake - I'm consciously making a decision to post a specific representation of my life, for the specific purpose of putting it on display for others to see and react to and judge me by and validate me for. As a man, I do not feel this is masculine or genuine or even something a confident, secure, happy, successful man even needs to do. Why would he if he has all that abundance of excitement and happiness and friends and women in his life? To show off? Why? But I did it anyway as a test which was part of my DJ evolution - would it make a difference? Sometimes when I'd meet women at parties or on cold approaches, instead of asking for their number I would exchange FB with them - the thought being that they could continue judging my value on their own time and this would increase my SMV to them. I have photos of me doing all the most adventurous and athletic things and plenty of photos of me having an incredible time with my friends on various adventures... shirtless pics showing off my abs and physique that were not staged/posed because I was with other people on a beach or boat etc.... literally several people would comment, "Are you the Dos Equis man?" on some of my posts.

Did it work? For some of the girls it may have helped. But there's no way to tell. I still had scenarios where I'd meet a girl, exchange FB, she would even DM me first after the interaction to thank me for talking to her and then when I'd later reply that I enjoyed it too and we should get together, she would ghost!!! The girls I ended up dating or hooking up with may have had the same outcome even without facebook. And I had other rejections too where I'd friend a girl and I would be the first person to reach out and she'd reject my request to get together or she would accept the invitation but say she'd get back to me on whether the date/time would work and I'd never hear from her again. Beyond all that, there was just ONE girl who sent me a friend request first (technically 4 or 5 but the others were ugly), who I'd never met in real life, and who had a lot of mutual friends with me. Apparently I popped up in her friend suggestion feed, she thought I was really attractive from my profile pic, and so she browsed through my profile to see what I was all about and subsequently made the determination that I was a high value man and someone she was interested so after friend requesting me she slide into my DM's and invited me to a small party she was throwing. We dated for 18 months.

But that's it. Just 1 girl that I can 100% conclusively prove was due to my FB profile. And it's exhausting to keep up the proper social media presence. You find yourself seeking out activities and people for the sole purpose of "getting that photo" to help pump your online value up and that in turn takes you away from what your true life pursuits and motivations should be as a man, and as a human fvcking being. You're basically turning yourself into a basic female as that is all they do - look for walls with painted angel wings they can pose for photos in front of, or go to parties so they can go ignore everyone and take 1,000 pictures with a few of their friends in order to select the 1 they will throw up on IG.

When a girl asks me if I have social media, I tell her no. If the girl I say that to is really hot and I met her from cold approach so she has no frame of reference to assess my value other than from her immediate personal interactions with me, she usually gets irritated and tries to test me over it - claiming that I do but I just don't want to give it to her or whatever. I just laugh and say, "guess you'll have to get to know me the real way eh?" Women are used to having that screening tool to help them judge value. Don't give it to them. You'll be much better off saving the time and effort to focus on other things, and by running good game in your interactions.

 

[Toddz]

After the 2nd time we hooked up, it was hard to get her out. A few times I've asked, she straight up told me she was busy with work and never gave another time and date.

Go cold and distant from her. Don't like or view any of her social media. DO NOT reply to any of her messages UNLESS it's to chill again. Act and be disinterested like she doesn't even exist anymore. That's how you play females. Cat and Mouse game

 

[2Rocky]

You are living rent free in her head. AND Vice versa

You had sex twice, assuming 2 different occasions. She probably enjoyed it and is wondering if she missed out on something by not continuing with you.

Blocking you is a defense mechanism. 1) against you saying something on her SM that could embarrass her, or 2) cause her current partner to question her. I've done this.

As for watching your stories, If you post often you will remain first in the order especially if she doesn't have a lot of high volume accounts she follows. She could just be letting them run to see and interact with people further down the line. Don't read too much into it.

If you want to bring her back into a rotation you can ping her every few months. Birthday is good...Holidays work. But make it one on one non public communication. A text is always low investment.

 

[spikeanut]

NEVER watch a girl's stories. EVER. Period. Re-read this rule. Even if you are super active on IG, posting stories or photos or whatever, NEVER watch a girl's story.

Don't block or delete a flaky girl - just ignore.

Parts bolded for emphasis. Do not falter from this rule.

 

[jamesfromhouston]

My thoughts on social media for men:

Do not put much into women reading your stories. It means nothing other than maybe curiosity - but the curiosity isn't always good. She may be there to specifically find reasons to disqualify you, in which case she will ignore everything except the things that support her confirmation bias. Or she may be there to try to assess your value, exactly as TheFinalLine said, in which case it can be very difficult for a man to impress a woman...... Don't have enough photos of you with other women in a setting where it isn't obvious whether it's romantic or platonic, or you do but the women aren't hot enough to instill jealousy in the woman looking at your profile? Fail. Don't have enough photos of you doing amazing things with friends and looking like you are living your best life? Fail. Your friends are all less attractive than you? Fail. And on the flip side, each girl wants something different - some girls will be intimidated by a guy who has photos of himself hanging out with women who she feels are hotter than her so she will reject him so that she doesn't have to face rejection herself on down the line when you choose another hotter girl over her.

NEVER watch a girl's stories. EVER. Period. Re-read this rule. Even if you are super active on IG, posting stories or photos or whatever, NEVER watch a girl's story.

Don't block or delete a flaky girl - just ignore.

I played the social media game for a while, specifically on FB because my IG is more focused on one of my hobbies. At the time, which was pre-covid, I had an incredible co-ed friend group and we hung out all the time, like 3x per week if not more. We took all sorts of trips together, even internationally, and had a ton of adventures together. We were having the time of our lives. I am not a big fan of social media and I hate posting on it because it feels fake - I'm consciously making a decision to post a specific representation of my life, for the specific purpose of putting it on display for others to see and react to and judge me by and validate me for. As a man, I do not feel this is masculine or genuine or even something a confident, secure, happy, successful man even needs to do. Why would he if he has all that abundance of excitement and happiness and friends and women in his life? To show off? Why? But I did it anyway as a test which was part of my DJ evolution - would it make a difference? Sometimes when I'd meet women at parties or on cold approaches, instead of asking for their number I would exchange FB with them - the thought being that they could continue judging my value on their own time and this would increase my SMV to them. I have photos of me doing all the most adventurous and athletic things and plenty of photos of me having an incredible time with my friends on various adventures... shirtless pics showing off my abs and physique that were not staged/posed because I was with other people on a beach or boat etc.... literally several people would comment, "Are you the Dos Equis man?" on some of my posts.

Did it work? For some of the girls it may have helped. But there's no way to tell. I still had scenarios where I'd meet a girl, exchange FB, she would even DM me first after the interaction to thank me for talking to her and then when I'd later reply that I enjoyed it too and we should get together, she would ghost!!! The girls I ended up dating or hooking up with may have had the same outcome even without facebook. And I had other rejections too where I'd friend a girl and I would be the first person to reach out and she'd reject my request to get together or she would accept the invitation but say she'd get back to me on whether the date/time would work and I'd never hear from her again. Beyond all that, there was just ONE girl who sent me a friend request first (technically 4 or 5 but the others were ugly), who I'd never met in real life, and who had a lot of mutual friends with me. Apparently I popped up in her friend suggestion feed, she thought I was really attractive from my profile pic, and so she browsed through my profile to see what I was all about and subsequently made the determination that I was a high value man and someone she was interested so after friend requesting me she slide into my DM's and invited me to a small party she was throwing. We dated for 18 months.

But that's it. Just 1 girl that I can 100% conclusively prove was due to my FB profile. And it's exhausting to keep up the proper social media presence. You find yourself seeking out activities and people for the sole purpose of "getting that photo" to help pump your online value up and that in turn takes you away from what your true life pursuits and motivations should be as a man, and as a human fvcking being. You're basically turning yourself into a basic female as that is all they do - look for walls with painted angel wings they can pose for photos in front of, or go to parties so they can go ignore everyone and take 1,000 pictures with a few of their friends in order to select the 1 they will throw up on IG.

When a girl asks me if I have social media, I tell her no. If the girl I say that to is really hot and I met her from cold approach so she has no frame of reference to assess my value other than from her immediate personal interactions with me, she usually gets irritated and tries to test me over it - claiming that I do but I just don't want to give it to her or whatever. I just laugh and say, "guess you'll have to get to know me the real way eh?" Women are used to having that screening tool to help them judge value. Don't give it to them. You'll be much better off saving the time and effort to focus on other things, and by running good game in your interactions.

This is one of the most important things I've read this year. Thanks so much for it. And ofcourse also thank you @TheFinalLine

Actually reading everyone's replies and views on social media has opened my eyes a lot about it. Made me realized I've been Bp'ed by it.

Had no idea that there was also a red pill to swallow regarding social media but everything you guys said makes sense.

I am clearly over thinking it, I fell into the trap. I've realized this wasn't the first time I've been trying to read the online behaviour and interaction of one of my plates.

I originally set out social media for my work; so I always knew it was artificial and very much about PR. Along the way I started to use it as well to show SMV. It was logical to me, I am ambitious and somewhat successful and have an adventurous life. It's always been PR to me, so I saw it almost in a sociopathic way, it's fake/artificial but useful. But I think of recent times after being immersed in it I've also fallen into the trap of it of taking it at face value as well atleast in so far as being thirst trapped by plates or confused by their behavior. These post has helped me claim back some much needed clarity.

I am indeed still interested in experimenting with it to see how it affects or can/cannot benefit game (this is something I will report here when I've enough data) but everything above has reminded me to be the player rather than the played.

So thanks everyone.

I feel most here have written off social media in their game; perhaps this would be the ultimate conclusion for me after gathering my own experience. We shall see!

 

[RangerMIke]

Men fall for chicks because how she looks: women fall for dudes based on what they say.

This is why chicks wear make-up and dudes lie.

With photoshop and camera angles any woman can look good.

With the internet, it's almost impossible for a man to hide what he really is. A chick meets you and you know she is trolling your social media, running online back-round checks, contacting mutual friends. She pretty much knows more about you then you would like her to know. Had a DUI or Bankruptcy or any legal trouble? She knows. Former girlfriends... well... she can use the infamous 'chick network' and hunt you down like playing a game of 'Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon' finding friends of friends that might know you. Net worth? There are websites where she can do a reputation search and pretty much figure out what you earn, and your estimated net worth. Don't believe me? Go ahead and get a subscription to "MyLife" do a search of yourself and you will be SHOCKED at how much someone can learn about you.

You can not lie, you can not be a mystery... there is no reason for her to date you because there is nothing to learn. A group of chicks can get together and spend $1/month to get access to this application and whenever one of them meets a man, they can do a background check.

I have a "MyLife" account. FYI, my 'reputation score' is 4.33 out of 5. All my working age nephews and nieces are correctly affiliated. My annual income, is pretty accurate, my estimated net worth from a year ago is freakishly close. Every lawsuit, court case, and legal issue I had is there. I just logged in again before I responded to this... an in the last month, I've had 7 women run checks on me. If she sees something she doesn't like, she's gone. If you lie about your history... she's gone. Even before you have a chance to impress her.

So yeah... the internet favors women... not doubt about it.

 

[manfrombelow]

You can not lie, you can not be a mystery... there is no reason for her to date you because there is nothing to learn. A group of chicks can get together and spend $1/month to get access to this application and whenever one of them meets a man, they can do a background check.

I have a "MyLife" account. FYI, my 'reputation score' is 4.33 out of 5. All my working age nephews and nieces are correctly affiliated. My annual income, is pretty accurate, my estimated net worth from a year ago is freakishly close. Every lawsuit, court case, and legal issue I had is there. I just logged in again before I responded to this... an in the last month, I've had 7 women run checks on me. If she sees something she doesn't like, she's gone. If you lie about your history... she's gone. Even before you have a chance to impress her.

So yeah... the internet favors women... not doubt about it.

This is honestly my 1st time hearing about this app. Doesn't it sound like a violation of your privacy when other people can know about such sensitive and personal data about you? The fvck is happening in the Western world?

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Go ahead and get a subscription to "MyLife" do a search of yourself and you will be SHOCKED at how much someone can learn about you.

Wow, I had no idea it was that easy. I knew there were sites that provided some of this kind of thing but didn't know any existed that were this comprehensive. I know for a fact I had one girl run a background check on me after just one date, so it definitely happens.

 

[RangerMIke]

This is honestly my 1st time hearing about this app. Doesn't it sound like a violation of your privacy when other people can know about such sensitive and personal data about you? The fvck is happening in the Western world?

In the US privacy is not a guaranteed right unless it relates to healthcare do to the Roe v. Wade SCOUSA ruling
privacy is not an enumerated right. Everything on that app is part of the public record, you pay property tax... well then they know what property you own, you can see how long you've owned it, so there are algorithms that can be used to determine the equity value. You pay income tax, that is part of the public record... served in the military... all that sh1t is part of the public record... court cases... public record.

As far as social media, anything you put on that is open to the world.

 

[manfrombelow]

In the US privacy is not a guaranteed right unless it relates to healthcare do to the Roe v. Wade SCOUSA ruling
privacy is not an enumerated right. Everything on that app is part of the public record, you pay property tax... well then they know what property you own, you can see how long you've owned it, so there are algorithms that can be used to determine the equity value. You pay income tax, that is part of the public record... served in the military... all that sh1t is part of the public record... court cases... public record.

As far as social media, anything you put on that is open to the world.

What do YOU personally think about it? And about this app?

 

[oldmanofthesea]

My own concern about the app is that they want you to pay, and it appears they are raising your "reputation score" based on whether you pay or not, and how much "explanation" you enter into the app to justify past convictions or judgements or whatever. I wonder if entering in justifications and additional information is actually a wise idea or not. I also worry about what would happen if you had to sign up to and pay for multiple sites just like this one in order to maintain a decent public persona. Credit reporting is free by law but not this.

Would be very curious for RangerMike's take on this as well.

 

[RangerMIke]

What do YOU personally think about it? And about this app?

It's a double edged sword. I run background checks on people I hire or people I do business with. I've avoided a lot of problems because of this. I also run back-ground checks on the parents of the children my kids spend time with.

If I ever found myself getting serious about a women your godd@mn right I would run a back ground check... But I don't because frankly I don't care if she has stupid sh1t in her history because to be honest I always expect a chick will have stupid sh1t, and if we are just dating... I don't care.

What I don't like is much of this stuff has to be placed in context, and if you just take the reports at face value and make a rash judgement (something chicks do all the time). Example: YEARS ago I was arrested for a DUI, the arrest record is part of the public record... the record also shows that there was no conviction. The AG did not prosecute, I wasn't drunk driving, I passed the field sobriety test, passed the breath test, volunteered to take a blood test... but before these yahoos could get their sh1t together to run the check, they arrested me. The case was dropped a week after I got with my lawyer... but the arrest is still on my record. Now you CAN pay a lawyer a few thousand to get this taken out, but it's only going to be expunged in the County/Parish the arrest took place. If it is in another database someplace, then it's still there.

A friend of mine is on the sex offender's list... How he got on it was he was arrested for indecent exposure 30 years ago when he was drunk and taking a leak in a ally during Marti Gras. So he's in the same category as a serial rapist even though what happened was he was a college kid p1ssing in an ally. A chick running a check on him will see "OMG SEX OFFENDER!!!"

The problem I see with public records is that you have little opportunity to correct the record unless you are willing to pay a service that is going to run this down for you, and it's never perfect... it's like the credit bureaus there are three... 2 might be fine, but the third has something that isn't accurate, you have to have access to all three to make corrections.

 

[RangerMIke]

My own concern about the app is that they want you to pay, and it appears they are raising your "reputation score" based on whether you pay or not, and how much "explanation" you enter into the app to justify past convictions or judgements or whatever. I wonder if entering in justifications and additional information is actually a wise idea or not. I also worry about what would happen if you had to sign up to and pay for multiple sites just like this one in order to maintain a decent public persona. Credit reporting is free by law but not this.

Would be very curious for RangerMike's take on this as well.

Your score doesn't really go up with being a paid client. If you pay, you have access to WHERE the information is coming from, and you can challenge bad data. I had a client that ran down my 'reputation score', he was butt hurt because I didn't pay him the original contract agreement. Truth is he was lucky I paid him anything, he did not meet the requirements, was late, and tried to bill me for things we did not agree to. So he gave me a bad reputation score... well... because I am a paid client, I was able to challenge his assessment with fact, and his 'rating' was expunged.

You can do the same thing with a credit score, before we had laws that gave you access to your credit report, you had to pay for the service to access your report. You could then fix it if something was inaccurate. If you don't pay, then you would know WHAT exactly was impacting your score.

But your point is valid, this is just ONE reputation company, there are many others, fixing one doesn't fix them all, but if you know what is in your report and where this comes from, well... then you can fix this.

Managing your online reputation as a person or a business has almost become a full time job.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Your score doesn't really go up with being a paid client.

I noticed when I searched myself on it today, my score was shown as a range - from like 2.3 to 3.8 or something like that. When it got to the point where I had to pay for a trial subscription and completed that then was taken to my dashboard, suddenly my score was 4.2 or 4.3 or something like that. So that's what I was basing that on.

 

[RangerMIke]

I noticed when I searched myself on it today, my score was shown as a range - from like 2.3 to 3.8 or something like that. When it got to the point where I had to pay for a trial subscription and completed that then was taken to my dashboard, suddenly my score was 4.2 or 4.3 or something like that. So that's what I was basing that on.

No idea. This was not my experience.

My guess could be that before you sign up they are basing your score on your name and location and if you have a number of people around you with the same name, some of what is happening with them is mixed in with your data. When you sign up they can isolate you. Again, it's just a guess. I don't have the most common name in the US, but there are about 5 men with my name and close to my age in my area. One, another business owner, his first name, last name, and middle initial is the same as mine, and our ages are the same. His business is actually less than a mile from where I live. People are always confusing us.

 

[RangerMIke]

I noticed when I searched myself on it today, my score was shown as a range - from like 2.3 to 3.8 or something like that. When it got to the point where I had to pay for a trial subscription and completed that then was taken to my dashboard, suddenly my score was 4.2 or 4.3 or something like that. So that's what I was basing that on.

Also, don't get me wrong I am sure there is a certain amount of gamesmanship going on. It's VERY possible that they have a lower rep score if you aren't paying. I'm actually not to concerned about the 'score' but the fact there is a lot of data out there appears to be accurate at the surface level. A lot of it is BS gamesmanship... like when they are supposedly 'running' the report... with progress charts spinning wheels and such, making it look like there is some effort to get this.

Truth is that it's really almost instantaneous and doesn't really take that long.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Also, don't get me wrong I am sure there is a certain amount of gamesmanship going on. It's VERY possible that they have a lower rep score if you aren't paying. I'm actually not to concerned about the 'score' but the fact there is a lot of data out there appears to be accurate at the surface level. A lot of it is BS gamesmanship... like when they are supposedly 'running' the report... with progress charts spinning wheels and such, making it look like there is some effort to get this.

Truth is that it's really almost instantaneous and doesn't really take that long.

Yeah I made the same assumptions. It was interesting to be reminded of just how many speeding and racing tickets I got in my younger years.

What really terrifies me about this stuff is if we ever get to a place where women can review you from a dating perspective - or really anyone review you for any reason at all, whether it's positive or negative. In your case, the review you mentioned was more business-related I think, but I'm referring to just personal matters. As has been said in this thread or others, women like to make up their fantasy version of things and if you break up with them for violating your boundaries or any other reason, you know a woman is going to make a negative review about you and make sh*t up. "He lied to me" "He cheated on me" "He flirted with other girls right in front of me" "He's gay" "He's married"..... really anything. How many girls that don't end up working out are going to leave you a good review? None.