Some girls don't think ahead

[The Comeback Kid]

I know there's an obvious answer to this situation, I'm just unable to figure out what that is.

Last week, a girl I supposedly get along well with (she lives in my apartment complex at school) explained how she's too busy to do anything this semester (our last in college). This included her mentioning her overloaded academic course-load, her two jobs and her internship. I took the hint that she doesn't want to see me and moved on to other girls who are more interested.

Today, she texts me out of the blue. She needs a bike tire pump. Since I don't own a bike and because I wasn't in the mood for her games, I simply texted back that I don't, but she could ask my roommate about it. That's really about it. My roommate helped out (he owns a bike) and apparently she told him how her and her roommate "owe us" because we've helped them out with things throughout the year. These things required very little effort from us, but meant a lot to them.

My question isn't about her specifically or how they'd owe us or anything like that, since I honestly don't care. My question...Why would a girl, soon after rejecting a guy, then try to hit him up for help with something? Makes no sense.

 

[ThatMysteriousGuy]

I know there's an obvious answer to this situation, I'm just unable to figure out what that is.

Last week, a girl I supposedly get along well with (she lives in my apartment complex at school) explained how she's too busy to do anything this semester (our last in college). This included her mentioning her overloaded academic course-load, her two jobs and her internship. I took the hint that she doesn't want to see me and moved on to other girls who are more interested.

Today, she texts me out of the blue. She needs a bike tire pump. Since I don't own a bike and because I wasn't in the mood for her games, I simply texted back that I don't, but she could ask my roommate about it. That's really about it. My roommate helped out (he owns a bike) and apparently she told him how her and her roommate "owe us" because we've helped them out with things throughout the year. These things required very little effort from us, but meant a lot to them.

My question isn't about her specifically or how they'd owe us or anything like that, since I honestly don't care. My question...Why would a girl, soon after rejecting a guy, then try to hit him up for help with something? Makes no sense.

It makes complete sense. This isn't vague at all.

"we owe you" is a stroke to your ego. You're friggin heros. It's like patting a dog on the head and saying "good boy" when he fetches the paper.

If you fall for it you'll end up biatches doing all sorts of crap for her and her roomate until they're out of college.

These things required very little effort from us, but meant a lot to them.

.
This is manipulation 101. Get someone to do a few small things, give them a verbal "you saved me, i'm so greatful!" that costs 1/4 of a calorie in effort each time and they'll be your biatch quite quickly if they're not aware of how this works. (All women test with this, but in this situation it's blatant manipulation to make you do stuff so the men they are screwing can save their energy, not testing to see if you'll stand up for yourself).

NOTE: She wouldn't do this if she thought you had higher status than her. ie: if she was interested, she would be worried about irritating you with her requests. If she was interested, the "need a bike pump" would have just been a way for her to segue into asking if you wanted to do something that evening and actually doing it.

If you keep doing these things for her the requests will get larger and larger. Cut her off COLD. No more assistance. My motto is "if you have a 'honey-do' list, you've got to do as the honey's do". I even said that to a girl the other day when she wanted me to give her a ride at 5am because her car was broke. She got pissed and said she wouldn't bug me anymore...yippee! (If she liked me she would have thought it funny)

Look at the bright side. You dodged a manipulative biatch bullet that could have been aimed at your heart.

 

[The Comeback Kid]

I appreciate the thorough analysis ThatMysteriousGuys. Even though I believe both these girls are nice enough people, their manipulating doesn't surprise me.

Luckily, as you said, I haven't really been struck by one of their bullets yet. The bike pump girl gave the ego stroke to my roommate (I was out), but she referred to both of us. Overall, as I said before, the things they need help with are really "nothing things" - one time, they had to borrow my microwave for something, I just watched TV and talked to them for the few minutes they were here.

Your "note" about who they ask for these things is quite revealing, another good point you bring up.

Going forward, I can't wait for them to call upon me for help again. I can't wait to see their shocked reaction. If I'm in the mood, perhaps I'll go into how she said they're too busy all semester to go out once - party, bar. etc, so why ask me for help. :trouble: