The biggest piece of advice I can give to up and coming dj's is to realize a few things about people.
Even if people know the things that make you upset, and they still do those things, very rarely are they actually trying to upset you, most of the time they really are just unaware that this behavior upsets you so much. I give an example a friend of mine, everything that the people around him do that adversely affect him in any way he takes personally, he doesn’t ask, why are they doing this, he asks why are they doing this to me. When I, his roommate, wasn’t cleaning the bathroom that only I use, enough for him he asked me why I was doing this to him. The when his gf was having some problems and feeling bad about it he asked again why was she doing this to him. I actually brought this point up to him, people do things and most of the time they are not really thinking about the consequences to other people, they are thinking about themselves. If you go around thinking that people are doing things in order to get to you that will make you a very unhappy person. I used to be guilty of this when I was dating a girl, I used to even tell her, I only get upset if I get the feeling like someone is trying to get me upset. Well she made me upset, very often, looking back I wonder now, did she try to make me upset, probably not like I thought she was. This has helped me control my temper with people.
This brings me to my second topic, something that many here are especially prone to, the idea of teaching a woman a lesson. I read posts saying this girl stood me up, should I spit in her face and tell her to go to hell. My gf cheated on me, what should I do? I can tell you the answer that will lead to you being happy 99% of the time, JUST WALK AWAY FROM HER. No drama, no lesson to be taught, the only person who has been taught a lesson here has been you. Back in the day I dated a girl of the worst variety, she was too gutless to break up with me and I was too much of an afc to break up with her. What did she do, she made it so that the only choice I had was to break up with her, she started dating another guy immediately, after we had been together almost 3 years. Afterwards she even admitted to being a b1tch to me so that we would break up, yeah, I taught her a lesson. NO, I did not, the only lesson learned was the one by me, never, ever try and teach someone a lesson, most people see themselves as very nice, good people, and will reject every attempt you make to show them otherwise. Yeah I got her to admit that she was a b!tch, at what cost, I had to be a jerk to do it, not just any jerk but the prideless, sobbing a.f.c. jerk, someone that I have put away and will never bring back.
Who knows maybe I could have had an occasional lay with her, now I will never have that.
This is a bit unrelated but it still is advice, stop being so concerned with “WHAT A DJ WOULD DO” or what an afc would do, in my opinion that is the most afc way to think.(some of you might not get that joke if I don’t put this here)
But seriously, rather than having that mindset try and picture how you want to act, what is the sort of person that you want other people to see you as, and then act like that person. Quit worrying about what that other guy who gets a lot of chicks does, think hard to yourself, what do I want to be like, and the start acting like that. Listen to the little voice in your head, it knows.
Disclaimer: I know this last piece of advice sounds a lot like just be yourself, but I am also assuming that the person you want to be is not a big pu$$y or afc. I mean who wakes up and says, I think I will act like a big pu$$y today.
Even if people know the things that make you upset, and they still do those things, very rarely are they actually trying to upset you, most of the time they really are just unaware that this behavior upsets you so much. I give an example a friend of mine, everything that the people around him do that adversely affect him in any way he takes personally, he doesn’t ask, why are they doing this, he asks why are they doing this to me. When I, his roommate, wasn’t cleaning the bathroom that only I use, enough for him he asked me why I was doing this to him. The when his gf was having some problems and feeling bad about it he asked again why was she doing this to him. I actually brought this point up to him, people do things and most of the time they are not really thinking about the consequences to other people, they are thinking about themselves. If you go around thinking that people are doing things in order to get to you that will make you a very unhappy person. I used to be guilty of this when I was dating a girl, I used to even tell her, I only get upset if I get the feeling like someone is trying to get me upset. Well she made me upset, very often, looking back I wonder now, did she try to make me upset, probably not like I thought she was. This has helped me control my temper with people.
This brings me to my second topic, something that many here are especially prone to, the idea of teaching a woman a lesson. I read posts saying this girl stood me up, should I spit in her face and tell her to go to hell. My gf cheated on me, what should I do? I can tell you the answer that will lead to you being happy 99% of the time, JUST WALK AWAY FROM HER. No drama, no lesson to be taught, the only person who has been taught a lesson here has been you. Back in the day I dated a girl of the worst variety, she was too gutless to break up with me and I was too much of an afc to break up with her. What did she do, she made it so that the only choice I had was to break up with her, she started dating another guy immediately, after we had been together almost 3 years. Afterwards she even admitted to being a b1tch to me so that we would break up, yeah, I taught her a lesson. NO, I did not, the only lesson learned was the one by me, never, ever try and teach someone a lesson, most people see themselves as very nice, good people, and will reject every attempt you make to show them otherwise. Yeah I got her to admit that she was a b!tch, at what cost, I had to be a jerk to do it, not just any jerk but the prideless, sobbing a.f.c. jerk, someone that I have put away and will never bring back.
Who knows maybe I could have had an occasional lay with her, now I will never have that.
This is a bit unrelated but it still is advice, stop being so concerned with “WHAT A DJ WOULD DO” or what an afc would do, in my opinion that is the most afc way to think.(some of you might not get that joke if I don’t put this here)
But seriously, rather than having that mindset try and picture how you want to act, what is the sort of person that you want other people to see you as, and then act like that person. Quit worrying about what that other guy who gets a lot of chicks does, think hard to yourself, what do I want to be like, and the start acting like that. Listen to the little voice in your head, it knows.
Disclaimer: I know this last piece of advice sounds a lot like just be yourself, but I am also assuming that the person you want to be is not a big pu$$y or afc. I mean who wakes up and says, I think I will act like a big pu$$y today.
