Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Social fvcking anxiety

Fluffy

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 29, 2006
Messages
128
Reaction score
0
Basically Im fvucked, I think I am getting social anxiety disorder.

Im losing my ability to function in social situations properly and I get really anxious when out in public I start shaking, getting hot flushes and a weird feeling in my chest. Im losing or have lost the ability to think on my feet.
I can be in a completely normal social situation, or even just outside in public; six months ago I would have had no issue with it but now feel the need to get the fvck out in a big, big hurry.

It doesnt feel like Im getting worked up because Im worrying about what other people are thinking of me, it is completely irrational and is not getting better with more exposure, it just seems to be getting worse.

BTW this is only really happening with people I dont know, like strangers or shop workers or what not.

Does anyone here have any experiece with Social Anxiety, what the **** am I meant to do?
 

KontrollerX

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 11, 2005
Messages
4,484
Reaction score
182
Do you also feel cold when this happens and dizzy?

I think I had this before myself when I was younger but I also got cold and dizzy.

Mine went away on its own but for the more severe anxieties you gotta take the pills or talk to some psychiatrist.
 

Yapper

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 8, 2006
Messages
163
Reaction score
1
Well if youre losing the ability to function then at least that implies you had some ability in the first place.
 

reset

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 25, 2007
Messages
2,202
Reaction score
59
Is this just something out of the blue, or have you been reading about self-development or anything? Something where you're forced to look at yourself?

In my experience social anxiety is usually about thinking how others perceive you, even if you aren't aware of it.
 

Randallpink83

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 17, 2006
Messages
588
Reaction score
4
Location
In the club/bars
are you smoking weed by chance? ... stop if you are. ..or any drugs for that matter.


anxiety is fear... What you need is faith to counteract it... Could be a long hard battle, could be easy. But when you are experiencing fear, like anxiety your basically expecting something bad to happen. The only way to battle that is to have faith that good things will happen!
 

Obsidian

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 17, 2006
Messages
2,563
Reaction score
26
Location
TN
1. Exercise.
2. Intentionally try to make yourself nervous (Desensitization therapy).
3. Read the Book of Pook.
 

reset

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 25, 2007
Messages
2,202
Reaction score
59
Randallpink83 said:
are you smoking weed by chance? ... stop if you are. ..or any drugs for that matter.


anxiety is fear... What you need is faith to counteract it... Could be a long hard battle, could be easy. But when you are experiencing fear, like anxiety your basically expecting something bad to happen. The only way to battle that is to have faith that good things will happen!
I agree with this. I was at a party several months ago. I didn't know ANYONE there, and even though I was a little nervous, I managed to approach a few groups of people and get involved in the conversation, and was chatting up this one girl in particular, things were going well, then her boyfriend shows up and that was that. Was still having a good time, and proud of myself for being relaxed.... then I went out back with my friends and smoked a joint and that just killed it. Paranoid, self-conscious. And I'm thinking "people enjoy this--right?" Some people get outgoing when they smoke, I don't. I feel like a zombie.

I've smoked tons of pot in my life and it's fun and can make you laugh, but when your'e out in public I think it's just a total buzz-kill. Never thought about the cumulative effects of paranoia it could create. I take maybe a couple hits now a week and that's it.


I have a history of social anxiety, but it's basically something that I have under control. I just used to really care what other people thought of me. Made it tough to be around people when I thought I was being judged all the time. Now I don't see anyone as above or below me, so it's all good.

edit-- on pills. I've been on many of them, and I quit. They can make you tired and lethargic. Which isn't what you're going for.
 

IWillReturnsoon

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 17, 2007
Messages
110
Reaction score
2
Basically Im fvucked, I think I am getting social anxiety disorder.

Im losing my ability to function in social situations properly and I get really anxious when out in public I start shaking, getting hot flushes and a weird feeling in my chest. Im losing or have lost the ability to think on my feet.
I can be in a completely normal social situation, or even just outside in public; six months ago I would have had no issue with it but now feel the need to get the fvck out in a big, big hurry.



It doesnt feel like Im getting worked up because Im worrying about what other people are thinking of me, it is completely irrational and is not getting better with more exposure, it just seems to be getting worse.

BTW this is only really happening with people I dont know, like strangers or shop workers or what not.

Does anyone here have any experiece with Social Anxiety, what the **** am I meant to do?
To answer your last question first, you are meant to get through this period. I can definitely relate to you. I had Social Anxiety for a month....had to get therapy for the sonofa*****(University counselor helped me). Xanex only works for Physical symptoms of anxiety...not mental. Believe me, it is mental anxiety...its purely psychological. The first thing you should do is find out the exact root of the problem. A traumatic event must've triggered the beginning of it. Anything else just amplified. It all comes down to being at peace/accepting the event for what its worth and how you shouldn't be afraid of it/you won't be afraid anymore. Once you get through it, u'll be stronger than ever...as a person! The best thing to do after accepting the event and is to go through the thing that you were deeply afraid of head on(but one step at a time) thus ur brain won't send the "I'd rather die than do this" signal. If all else, therapy might help...don't look down on it...definitely something to consider.

Also in relation to what you said about worrying what other people think....
Ask yourself "Why do i care what this person thinks?"

Is it:

A) Because I don't believe im allowed to do it?
B) Because its not normal
C) That i won't be accepted as a person if they don't approve

Realize that you don't have to care what they think, because u don't have to associate yourself with that random person. They can only look at u or make a comment. You don't have to acknowledge them at all.
 
Joined
Nov 3, 2005
Messages
183
Reaction score
1
Take a few minutes each day to relax yourself. Close your eyes and just pay attention to your breath going in...and going out. Also get a job - preferably one where you must be social, like working a cash register, working at a retail store, etc. Trust me, just do those things for right now. You will be okay.
 

Fluffy

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 29, 2006
Messages
128
Reaction score
0
IWillReturnsoon said:
Believe me, it is mental anxiety...its purely psychological. The first thing you should do is find out the exact root of the problem. A traumatic event must've triggered the beginning of it. Anything else just amplified. It all comes down to being at peace/accepting the event for what its worth and how you shouldn't be afraid of it/you won't be afraid anymore. Once you get through it, u'll be stronger than ever...as a person! The best thing to do after accepting the event and is to go through the thing that you were deeply afraid of head on(but one step at a time) thus ur brain won't send the "I'd rather die than do this" signal.

Also in relation to what you said about worrying what other people think....
Ask yourself "Why do i care what this person thinks?"

Is it:

A) Because I don't believe im allowed to do it?
B) Because its not normal
C) That i won't be accepted as a person if they don't approve
I finish university at the end of next year and I think the stress over that may be contributing to my situation.
In terms of whats affected me its probably C, as in the fear of being rejected. However, it is not rational because when Im away from the situation I could care less about what the people think of me and whether Im accepted or not, when in the situation though Im getting all the anxiety symptoms. I dont have suicidal thoughts though.

Randallpink83 said:
are you smoking weed by chance? ... stop if you are. ..or any drugs for that matter.
Im drug free for over two years. I also have stopped drinking alco for a few months so it doesnt fvck up my hard work in the gym.



I have also developed insomnia in the past couple of weeks.
 

CanuckinSK

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 20, 2007
Messages
125
Reaction score
2
Location
Saskatchewan
Fluffy said:
I finish university at the end of next year and I think the stress over that may be contributing to my situation.
In terms of whats affected me its probably C, as in the fear of being rejected. However, it is not rational because when Im away from the situation I could care less about what the people think of me and whether Im accepted or not, when in the situation though Im getting all the anxiety symptoms. I dont have suicidal thoughts though.



Im drug free for over two years. I also have stopped drinking alco for a few months so it doesnt fvck up my hard work in the gym.



I have also developed insomnia in the past couple of weeks.
If you're lucky, you COULD find a good shrink. There are meds that can relieve social anxiety. Only problem is, they usually KILL your sexual desire. Kinda defeats the whole purpose of overcoming the anxiety problem and approaching women...

I've lived with the same problem for the last 20 years, and I've just started getting professional help. My advice, don't let it get away on you, fix it asap.
 

Moofahsa

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 2, 2007
Messages
203
Reaction score
3
Location
Deep South
I feel ya man, I went through the same **** right when I got out of highschool and left the comfort zone of my hometown.

I always felt like all eyes were on me....because they were. I am unnaturally tall so people seem to point me out or in the case of the bar scene start a fight.

It got really bad, I would go to class taking the same route everyday...get out of class go directly back to my room and turn on the tv and get on the comp. After a while it was all normal, I never met anyone...no one ever really bothered me and I was just fine.

Then one day I was ask to buy some beer for a group of guys, I was only 18 at the time but I look like a freakin caveman and never get carded. Strolled in, bought a couple of cases and went back. They ask me how old I was and I told them I was 18...they laughed their asses off and ask me how I knew I wouldn't get carded, I said "I didn't". Well after that I got accepted in that social group and had some good times and made some good friends.

The only other times I skitz in public is being around elite groups where I feel like an outcast.

I had a buddy in high school that had some therapy to deal with his social issues and his doctor had him totally cut out caffine and cigarettes. He was cured with no meds.
 

reset

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 25, 2007
Messages
2,202
Reaction score
59
Moofahsa said:
...his doctor had him totally cut out caffine and cigarettes. He was cured with no meds.
That's like my main diet. And yeah, I am stressed out. Cutting back on the coffee, but the cigs are another thing.
 
Top