So My Flake Has Escalated To Talking Again

[tincanman99]

I had dated this girl a while back. Went out a bunch of times and than she flaked on me. After she basically disrespected me by blowing off my contact attempts with her I totally cut her off. My contact consisted of a few texts, 1 email, 1 phone call and thats it. No response so I called it quits. Its been about 8 weeks already.

In the past month she has escalated the contact from just showing up at my office to now speaking to me. At first it was just hi at which point I replied hi and went about my business. That was last week and now it has reached the hi, how are you doing stage. I am sensing she is going to escalate this further.

Realize this girl was stringing me along while dating another guy which I did not know about till it was too late. Because I never would have gone out with her if had known.

She broke no contact with me. So now what? Continue ignoring?

The only thing I can figure is I am her back up guy and something must have happened with the primary.

Frankly I am not sure I want anything to do with her. I caught her in multiple lies. Yes, I would hit it but I dont think I could ever "date" her if you know what I mean because I just dont trust her nor believe anything she says now.

Hit me with opinions.

 

[zarathustra]

Hit her up with something like "I had plans for such and such this Friday but my friend(s) canceled you wanna go instead?" And ask her this at the last minute on Thursday so it seems legit.

This does two things.

First it puts her in her place and tells her that she's a second stringer in your book.

Second her reaction (yes/no) will immediatley tell you if she's interested. If yes, try and get a same night lay and then bail. She's earned it.

If the answer is no, that means she's bored with the other guys she's screwing around with and is up to her old tricks.

 

[The Sperminator]

From what you said I would just ignore her. She will just string you along again or until she finds someone better. Don't give in. I would either keep on ignoring her or just call her out on it. What do you have to lose. I know many members would advise not to but I think this would be a good time to do it. Say something like what your guy dump you lol? Just do it jokingly. I've done things similar and they have worked. Either A she wants you more or B she gets pissed off but who cares either way. Give her a taste of her own medicine...or even better arrange a date and don't show up and give her some lame excuse like she probably does. Childish, immature, yes maybe but you got to teach them a lesson every now and then. Well that's what I would do.

 

[tincanman99]

I know she is physically attracted to me.

After a bunch of dates I had a furious make out session with her for like 5 hours. She was all over me and could not get enough of me. Sticking her hands down my shirt to feel my chest, kissing my neck - the whole deal. Teased me the whole night but would not me take her home. So she could be just horny now.

Afterwards she pulled back a bit and I went AFC on her. Prior to that I was in control. Than she backed off even further and I cut off all contact with her. I was very careful not to get nasty or petulent with her. I just disappeared. No loss to her as she was banging this other guy.

I am burning multiple irons with other women. She could sense I dont care.

Question though is how do I bridge this no contact and get it rolling again?

I cant exactly just show up in her office and start chatting her up as I have not spoken to her in 8 weeks already.

 

[THE_ADDMAN]

if u have plenty of women, why do you care bout this one?

next time she chats you up, talk to her for a few minutes, have a great conversation, then cut it off first.

 

[tincanman99]

I guess my ego is involved. I never had one just totally disappear on me like this. Usually you get a speech.

 

[hondo928]

if u have plenty of women, why do you care bout this one?

next time she chats you up, talk to her for a few minutes, have a great conversation, then cut it off first.

"We pursue that which retreats from us" besides who likes getting used, if you have a second chance then, I would go for it, but I would make her prove herself to you. And if you decide you want to give her a second chance, go into it knowing there is a chance the same thing happens again. I was in a similar situation a couple weeks ago, and if I got an opportunity to I'd probably date her again. But I'm not as experienced as some of the other guys on this site.

 

[tincanman99]

I am having difficulty in bridging from no contact to full blow chatting again. I guess I am loathe to put myself on the line again.

There is a part of me that wants her but there is a part that tells me to stay away from her. The good thing is nothing ugly happened with her. She just didnt return my calls so I backed way, way off on her.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Forget about her. Sounds like she is an Attention Wh0re.